英語幽默教程匯總和更新

One day after school the teacher said to his students, Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go home earlier. 一天，放學以后，老師對他的學生們說：明天上午，如果你 [查看全文]

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. 維爾和比爾在爭吵，誰的爸爸是更強壯的一個。 Will said, Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it. 維爾說：你知道 [查看全文]

An absent-minded person was standing in the middle of a busy intersection where a policeman was directing traffic, and he kept bugging the policeman because he was confused. 有個很健忘的人站在車水馬龍的十字路口正中央，那 [查看全文]

Girl:When we get married,I want to share all your worries,troubles and lighten your burden. 女孩：我們結(jié)婚后，我會分擔你的憂慮和煩惱，減輕你的負擔。 Boy:It's very kind of you,darling.But I don't have any worries [查看全文]

A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six or twelve. 一位金發(fā)女郎走進一家比薩店，她說想要一個中比薩，店員 [查看全文]

When I take a long time, I am slow. 我做事情花了長時間，是效率低； When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. 老板做事情花了長時間，是深思熟慮。 When I don't do it, I am lazy. 我沒有做完事情，是懶 [查看全文]

Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound. 媽媽：瑪麗，你為什么這樣大喊大叫的？ 為什么不能像艾迪那樣安安靜靜的玩兒呢？你看艾迪一聲兒都不 [查看全文]

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. 一個人正在看報紙，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。 He asks, What was that for? [查看全文]

On her return from school, little Dolly, aged ten, was pulled on to her Daddy's knee, and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise a little baby brother. She see med glad, and presently said: 放學回到家里，十歲的 [查看全文]

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- 服務(wù)員，這個龍蝦只有一只爪。 -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- 對不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。 -- Well, bring me the winner then. -- 哦， 那給我 [查看全文]