My name is Mrs Florence Bravo. I am 31 years old. I live at The Priory, in Balham. At the time of his death, my husband, Charles Bravo, lived there too. My friend and companion, Jane Cox, was also living in the house ...
I liked Dr Gully a lot. He was the most intelligent man I had ever met. He told me interesting things, and he made me laugh. He was also very kind – much kinder than my husband Alexander, or my father.
I was very happy on that holiday in Germany. We went everywhere together; we talked and laughed all day, and sang and danced in the evening. For a short time, I thought I was in love with him. But of course he was much, much older than me. Some people in the hotel thought he was my grandfather. Some of them smiled at us, but others looked at us angrily . We slept together in the same bedroom, but we were not married. Most people thought that was very wrong.
One evening, he asked me to marry him. I was surprised. It was impossible, of course. I didn't know what to say. I smiled and touched his face.
James, that's a lovely idea,' I said. 'But we can't marry, can we? You have a wife.'
Yes, I know,' he said. 'But she's old and ill; she won't live long. Will you wait for me, Florence? Please? We can marry when she's dead.'
I walked away from him, slowly. I don't want to make him unhappy, I thought, but ... what will people say if I marry a man more than twice as old as me?
It's very difficult, James,' I said. 'My parents won't talk to me because of you. They say I need a husband of my own age. Perhaps they're right. We are good friends – isn't that enough?'
He held my hands and looked into my eyes. I could see he was hurt.
You should marry the man you love,' he said. 'That's the right thing to do. Any other kind of marriage will be a lie – a terrible mistake.'
I looked up at him. 'Yes, James, I know. Don't worry – I don't want another husband like Alexander. Let me think about this, will you? It's not easy to decide.'
When we came back to England, I bought a large house called The Priory. It was in a village called Balham, near London. Dr Gully left his hospital in Malvern and bought a house called Orwell Lodge, just five minutes' walk away from my house. We met nearly every day – I had a key to his house, and he had a key to mine. We went for walks and rides in the countryside around Balham. We were still friends. It was almost as good as in Germany.
Almost, but not quite. I was young – I wanted friends of my own age. But I couldn't make new friends because Dr Gully was always there. People knew we weren't married, so they didn't want to know us. Often, married women walked past me in the street, with their noses in the air. They knew me very well, but they refused to speak to me or even look at me. To them, I was just something dirty in the street.
That made me miserable and angry. It was so unfair: no one was unkind to Dr Gully, because he was a man! Men – even married men – can do what they like. But if a woman does something wrong, then no one will speak to her.
I needed a woman friend – someone I could talk to about women's things, when James was not there. I put an advertisement for a 'lady companion' in a newspaper, and a woman called Jane Cox answered it.
I liked Jane. She was a widow, and she needed money to send her three children to school. So I gave her the job, and she came to live with me. We became friends. We talked, all the time, and went shopping together.
I'm not sure if Dr Gully liked Jane. He was very polite to her, but sometimes, I think, he wished she was not there. He wanted to be my only friend.
But that's why I needed Jane. I needed a woman to talk to about Dr Gully . He was kind, and clever, but he was so much older than me. I was lonely, and worried. I didn't know what to do.
And then one day I fell ill. I was in bed for several weeks. My companion, Jane Cox, looked after me. I talked to her a lot. She liked Dr Gully, but she didn't want me to marry him.
His wife may live for ten more years,' she said. 'Anyway, you need a younger man.'
It's easy to say that, Jane,' I said. 'But where can I find a young man who is as clever and kind as James Gully?'
I think I know someone,' Jane said.
Really, Jane?' I asked. 'Who?'
Jane smiled. 'I know a family called Bravo. I met them in Jamaica. They have a son called Charles. I think you'll like him.'
advertisement n. a notice (e.g. in a newspaper) which tells people about jobs, things to sell etc 廣告,啟事
第二部分
我是弗洛倫絲·布拉沃夫人,今年31歲。我住在巴勒姆的普里奧里。我丈夫查爾斯·布拉沃去世時也住在那兒。我的朋友兼陪護(hù)簡·考克斯當(dāng)時也和我們住在一起……
我非常喜歡格利醫(yī)生。他是我見過的最聰明的男子。他給我講有趣的事,逗得我哈哈笑。他人也非常好——比我丈夫亞歷山大和我父親都好多了。
在德國度假的那段時間,我過得很愉快。我們形影不離,整天有說有笑的,晚上還唱歌跳舞。有那么短短的一段時間,我以為我愛上了他。當(dāng)然,他年紀(jì)比我大很多很多。旅館里的一些人以為他是我祖父。他們有的人對我們笑臉相迎,有的人則對我們怒目相向。我們睡在同一間臥室里,但我們并沒有結(jié)婚。大部分人認(rèn)為這么做是很傷風(fēng)化的。
一天晚上,格利醫(yī)生向我求婚。我很驚訝。那當(dāng)然是不可能的事。我不知道該說什么。我笑了笑,撫摸了一下他的臉。
“詹姆斯,這個主意不錯?!蔽艺f,“但是我們不能結(jié)婚,不是嗎?你有妻子?!?/p>
“是,我知道?!彼f,“但是她一大把年紀(jì)了,而且還有病,她活不了多長時間了。你愿意等我嗎,弗洛倫絲?求你了!她死后我們就可以結(jié)婚了?!?/p>
我緩緩地走向別處。我不想惹他不高興,我想,但是……如果我嫁給一個年紀(jì)是我的兩倍還多的男人,人們會怎么說呢?
“這很難,詹姆斯。”我說,“因為你,我父母都不愿意跟我說話了。他們說我需要嫁一個和我年紀(jì)相仿的人。也許他們是對的。我們是好朋友——難道這還不夠嗎?”
他握住我的雙手,凝望著我的眼睛。我能看出他受到了傷害。
“你應(yīng)該嫁一個你愛的人?!彼f,“這才是正確的做法。其他任何形式的婚姻都是謊言——是天大的錯誤。”
我抬頭看著他?!笆堑模材匪?,我知道。別擔(dān)心——我不會再找一個亞歷山大那樣的丈夫。讓我想想這事兒,好嗎?這個決定可不好作。”
我們回到英格蘭后,我買了一所名叫普里奧里的大房子,就在倫敦附近的巴勒姆村里。格利醫(yī)生離開了他在莫爾文的醫(yī)院,買了一座名叫奧韋爾洛奇的房子,離我家步行只需要五分鐘。我們幾乎天天見面——我有他房子的鑰匙,他也有我房子的鑰匙。我們在巴勒姆附近的鄉(xiāng)間散步、騎馬。我們依然是朋友,幾乎就跟在德國時一樣好。
我說的是幾乎,而不是非常。我還年輕——我需要和我年紀(jì)差不多的朋友。但是我結(jié)交不了新朋友,因為格利醫(yī)生總是和我在一起。人們都知道我們并不是夫妻,所以他們不想結(jié)識我們。已婚婦女在街上遇到我時,對我常常是一副不屑一顧的樣子。她們很清楚我是誰,但她們不愿跟我說話,甚至瞧都不瞧我一眼。對于她們來說,我就像是大街上的臟東西。
這讓我感覺很痛苦,也很生氣。這不公平:沒有人對格利醫(yī)生這樣,就因為他是個男的!男人——甚至是已婚男人,能想干什么就干什么。但是一旦女人做錯了什么事,就沒有人愿意理她。
我需要一個女性朋友——一個當(dāng)詹姆斯不在的時候,可以和我說說女人的事的人。我在一家報紙上登了一則廣告,尋找“女性陪護(hù)”,有一個名叫簡·考克斯的女子前來應(yīng)征。
我喜歡簡。她是一個寡婦,需要錢來支付三個孩子的學(xué)費。于是,我給了她這份工作,她搬過來和我住在一起。我們成了朋友。我們在一起聊個沒完,還一起去逛街。
我不能確定格利醫(yī)生是否喜歡簡。他對簡彬彬有禮,但有時,我想他倒是希望簡不在家里。格利醫(yī)生想成為我唯一的朋友。
但這也正是我需要簡的原因。我需要一個可以和我談?wù)劯窭t(yī)生的女性朋友。格利醫(yī)生人很好,也聰明,但他比我大太多了。我很孤獨,也很著急。我不知道該怎么辦。
后來有一天,我生病了,臥病在床好幾個星期。我的陪護(hù)簡·考克斯照顧我。我跟她談了好多事兒。她喜歡格利醫(yī)生,但她并不想看到我嫁給他。
“他的妻子可能還會再活上十年?!彼f,“不管怎么說,你應(yīng)該找一個年輕點兒的男人?!?/p>
“說起來容易,簡。”我說,“可我上哪兒找像詹姆斯·格利那樣人又好又聰明的年輕男子呢?”
“我想我倒是認(rèn)識一個。”簡說。
“真的嗎,簡?”我問道,“是誰呀?”
簡笑了?!拔艺J(rèn)識一家姓布拉沃的人家。我是在牙買加認(rèn)識他們的。他們家有一個兒子叫查爾斯,我想你會喜歡他的?!?/p>
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