這有另一張W-2表,稅務(wù)金發(fā)妞
Thank you. Max, you worked at a Mexican restaurant in long island city?
謝謝。麥克斯,你還在長島的一家墨西哥餐館工作過啦
Oh, my God, don't be so judgmental.
天啊,你別戴有色眼鏡行不行
Mira, look! I just found a receipt for shoe insoles and double-stick tape. Work expense.
快看!我剛找到一張鞋墊和雙面膠的收據(jù)。工作花銷
Again, senorita, not a write-off.
再說一遍,小姐,這不能核銷
Like when you asked if you could claim your pot dealer as an entertainment expense.
跟剛才你問能不能把買毒錢以娛樂花銷退稅一樣
So I was wrong. We've all got our talents.
所以我錯了嘛,我們都有各自的天賦
You're great at doing paperwork, and I'm great at baking and finding places to have sex at carnivals.
你擅長做文書工作,而我擅長烘培和在嘉年華找做愛的絕佳地點
Just add that to the pile I'm calling "evidence for your future audit."
把這個放進我命名為"你未來審計的證據(jù)"那一類
Not there, that's Earl's tax return. Can I see a copy of what you filed last year?
不是那里,那是厄爾的退稅單。我能看一眼你去年的報稅單嗎
Ugh... I didn't file last year. Or the year before or any year ever.
我去年沒報稅。前年也沒有,之前每一年都沒有
Wait, you've never paid your taxes?
等等,你從來沒納過稅嗎
No, I've never filed my taxes. I've paid taxes. I see it on my check.
我只是從來沒報過稅。我納過稅啊,我在支票上有看到
$8 to the state, 15 in federal income, 6.23 to Fica, whoever that lucky bitch is.
8塊給國家,15塊給聯(lián)邦收入,6.23塊給"社寶",那賤貨真幸運。
Max, why didn't you tell me the severity of this last night?
麥克斯,你昨晚怎么不早說你這慘況啊
Um, maybe you haven't noticed, but I have issues around money.
你難道不知道,我對錢的事一竅不通嗎
Every year, I say I'm going to file, and then I put it off and put it off
每一年,我都下決心要報稅,然后拖延癥病發(fā),一直拖拖拖
until the day it's due, like today, and then I sit down with a 1040 and my W-2s,
拖到截止日期的那一天,比如今天,我就拿著1040表和W-2表坐下來
and right around the fourth question, I'm like, screw it!
回答到大概第四個問題,我就會心想,管它去死
I'm gonna watch old soul train clips on YouTube before work.
還是趁上班前,看幾段《靈魂列車》的視頻吧
And then I feel like a loser until tax day is over.
直到報稅日結(jié)束,一直覺得自己是廢柴
And then I'm like, who cares? I'm awesome. I'll do them next year.
之后就想,管它去死,老娘最棒了。明年再好好報吧
英語口語