影響你一生的電影：小屁孩日記——沒什么比做自己更酷

　　Wimpy是俚語，意為"哭哭啼啼的；軟弱畏縮的"，所以wimpy kid在漢語中就有一個(gè)十分恰當(dāng)?shù)膶?duì)應(yīng)詞：小屁孩。在人們的既定印象中，小屁孩是"幼稚"的代名詞，那么小屁孩日記里所敘述的故事，理所應(yīng)當(dāng)就是"幼稚""荒謬"且"無聊"的。然而，電影《小屁孩日記》（Diary of a Wimpy Kid）完全顛覆了這一觀點(diǎn)。這部電影改編自美國(guó)作家Jeff Kinney的同名暢銷書，書中連環(huán)畫的形式被巧妙地轉(zhuǎn)移到電影中，令影片具有了獨(dú)特的吸引力。而小屁孩幽默機(jī)智的語言以及故事中蘊(yùn)含的成長(zhǎng)寓言，不僅吸引了全世界無數(shù)的小屁孩，也感動(dòng)了無數(shù)早已不再是小屁孩的成年人。這樣一個(gè)wimpy kid究竟魅力何在？

艱難的第一天

　　相信每個(gè)小孩在走進(jìn)校園大門的前一刻，都有過這樣的期待吧：老師不要太嚴(yán)厲，同學(xué)親切好相處，朋友越多越好......即使是最內(nèi)向害羞的小孩，也不免在心底默默地期望自己能在新環(huán)境里受到歡迎，甚至成為學(xué)校里的明星。然而大多數(shù)情況下，期望越高失望越大。因此，新學(xué)校很可能會(huì)對(duì)一個(gè)新來的孩子帶來過多的壓力，令他陷入無限的焦慮和迷惘之中。

　　這種美好的憧憬和隨之而來的焦慮在剛上初中的小屁孩Greg身上表現(xiàn)得就更加明顯了。誠(chéng)如這個(gè)很有思想的小屁孩所說，新的教育階段意味著徹底的改變，中學(xué)生活實(shí)在是太不一樣了。

　　Greg: Let me just say for the record (以供備案) that I think middle school may be the dumbest (最愚蠢的) idea ever invented. You got kids like me who haven't hit their growth spurt (青春期時(shí)身體的快速發(fā)育) yet mixed in with gorillas (如大猩猩般丑陋的人) who have to shave twice a day.

　　在Greg看來，身體的各種變化如長(zhǎng)高、變得強(qiáng)壯等都不算什么，能否受到老師的認(rèn)可和同學(xué)們的歡迎才是真正考驗(yàn)一個(gè)學(xué)生的決定性因素。英俊又自信的"小大人兒"Greg堅(jiān)信自己很快便會(huì)成為"popularity rank（人氣排行榜）"前三甲的明星之一，但開學(xué)的第一天，理想與現(xiàn)實(shí)的巨大差距就給他上了一課：他受到了大家的冷落。畢竟，誰會(huì)圍著一個(gè)剛?cè)雽W(xué)的小屁孩轉(zhuǎn)呢？

　　雪上加霜的事情還在后面。和Greg一起長(zhǎng)大的死黨Rowley胖乎乎的，他總是伴隨在Greg左右，與他形影不離?？上У氖牵琑owley非但沒能為Greg的光輝形象"錦上添花"，反而凈幫倒忙。他披著一件詭異的危地馬拉斗篷走進(jìn)教室，引得同學(xué)們紛紛側(cè)目。神經(jīng)大條的Rowley對(duì)此卻渾然不覺，令Greg叫苦不迭。

　　體育課上，為了逃避野蠻的"角斗士游戲"，Greg和Rowley躲到了操場(chǎng)的角落里。在那里，他們遇到同樣逃了體育課、獨(dú)自看書的女孩Angie。Angie是?？庉嫞齻€(gè)性十足，對(duì)學(xué)校自有獨(dú)特的解讀：

　　Angie: This place is an intellectual (知識(shí)分子) wasteland. But, you know, it's nice to meet someone more interested in his mind than in his body.

　　Rowley: You girls get to jump rope (跳繩). Why are you doing hiding?

　　Angie: Avoiding the pain. It all starts in middle school, you know? You are not a kid anymore. The coddling (溺愛) has stopped. Kids are now separated by intelligence. The weak are picked on (作弄). And girls you've known since kindergarten won't even talk to you anymore.

　　Greg: OK. Well, sounds like you got it all figured out, so go back to your book.

　　Angie: [不理他，繼續(xù)說] This place is a glorified (被頌揚(yáng)的) holding pen (圍欄). It's where adults put you as you make that awkward (難對(duì)付的) transition between child and teenager, so they don't even have to look at you.

　　學(xué)校真的如Angie所說的那樣無聊和差勁嗎？Greg困惑了......

班級(jí)之星

　　一天下來，Greg和Rowley連坐在食堂的餐桌旁吃飯的資格都被愛欺負(fù)人的同學(xué)剝奪了。他們只能坐在地上，將餐盤放在自己的腿上進(jìn)餐，模樣極其狼狽。面對(duì)這個(gè)插曲，小哥倆兒的看法卻截然不同。

　　Greg: I can't be the guy who eats off his lap in the cafeteria. I should be at the top of the food chain by now. Something's got to change, fast.

　　Rowley: My mom told me to just be myself and people would like me.

　　Greg: That would be good advice if you were somebody else.

　　話雖如此，但其實(shí)Greg和Rowley在內(nèi)心深處都不僅僅只是想"做自己"而已，他們希望有朝一日能成為閃亮的"班級(jí)之星"。因此選擇社團(tuán)活動(dòng)時(shí)，Greg一口回絕了Angie代表?？蛩麙伋龅拈蠙熘?，轉(zhuǎn)而投身更酷、更能吸引同學(xué)們目光的摔跤俱樂部。Greg甚至認(rèn)為，和Angie這樣特立獨(dú)行的女孩混在一起無異于"social suicide"(編者注：社交自殺，指躲開人群，避免社交活動(dòng)，類似我們所說的避世)。

　　Greg: And I need something to make me a class favorite.

　　Angie: [突然插話] What about class favorites?

　　Greg: Don't you ever say"Hi!" or "Hello!" before you start talking?

　　Rowley: Hi. Angie: Hello.

　　Rowley: Oh, Greg's only here because he really wants something (大人物)....

　　Greg: [緊張地大笑，不讓Rowley說完] Rowley! I was just saying that I would really like to nail (揭穿) these people because it's so obvious that they're only doing these activities to get in the yearbook.

　　Angie: You know, I like your point of view. You should sign up for the school paper. We are the voice of the people. Well, the people are mostly idiots, so I guess, technically speaking, we're the voice of the people, making fun of the people.

　　Greg: Thanks, but I can't be on the paper because I'm gonna be in the paper a lot. So that would be a conflict of interest (利益沖突).

　　Angie: You are the people. Got it.

Rowley 變身人氣王

　　萬圣節(jié)到了，Greg與Rowley合計(jì)著一起去小鎮(zhèn)北邊要糖果和零食。路上，Rowley遭到街頭小混混的欺負(fù)，Greg挺身相助，不料卻引來更多本地不良少年的圍追堵截?；艁y逃跑中，他們穿越了傳說中會(huì)吞噬小孩子的The Devil Worshiper Woods（敬魔者森林）。幸運(yùn)的是，他們非但沒被吃掉，還意外收獲了糖果，滿載而歸。

　　這次成功的冒險(xiǎn)為Greg找回了久違的自信。萬圣節(jié)假期結(jié)束返校后，他熱情滿滿地"忽悠"Rowley和自己一起加入學(xué)校的Safety Patrol（安全協(xié)管員）。

　　Greg: Now that's what I'm talking about. Safety Patrol, the cops of middle school. You boss people around〔1〕, report the jerks, and miss class three times a week.

　　然而，Greg對(duì)于安全協(xié)管員的理解卻和負(fù)責(zé)老師Mr. Winsky所介紹的大相徑庭：

　　Mr. Winsky: Safety Patrol is a sacred trust. When you put on this vest (協(xié)管員的"制服") and that badge (徽章), you become a protector of the weak. You become an enforcer of the laws of this school, because today's litterer and jaywalker (亂扔垃圾的人和橫穿馬路的人) is tomorrow's window breaker and graffiti vandal (破壞文化藝術(shù)的人), and it's our job to stop it. So I ask you, are you ready for the job?

　　Greg & Rowley: [熱血沸騰地] Yes!

　　Mr. Winsky: Then welcome to Safety Patrol. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility〔2〕.

　　聽完Mr. Winsky慷慨激昂的介紹之后，Greg和Rowley終于如愿以償成了Safety Patrol的一員。盡管大多數(shù)時(shí)候，Greg和Rowley在Safety Patrol都還干得不錯(cuò)，但接二連三的突發(fā)事件還是令Greg陣腳大亂。冬天到了，在一次躲避球游戲中，粗心的Greg害得Rowley一頭栽進(jìn)雪堆里，左臂骨折。但"塞翁失馬，焉知非福"，Rowley因此獲得了大家的普遍關(guān)注。同學(xué)們發(fā)現(xiàn)他有一種淳樸自然的幽默感，都喜歡和他在一起。更令Greg大跌眼鏡的是，在新任校刊漫畫家的競(jìng)選比賽中，自己一直輕視的系列漫畫作品Zoo-Wee-Mama！居然將他的作品擊敗，而這套作品的作者不是別人，正是Rowley。

　　Greg夢(mèng)寐以求的一切，都被Rowley誤打誤撞地"搶"走了。在那之前，他一直自負(fù)地以為"Rowley is pretty lucky to have me as a friend"，直到現(xiàn)在他才發(fā)現(xiàn)，自己原來才是Rowley身邊的陪襯品。為了成為人氣王，他費(fèi)盡心思卻一無所獲，而堅(jiān)持做自己的Rowley卻不費(fèi)吹灰之力就成了眾人追捧的明星。妒忌的火焰頓時(shí)在Greg心中熊熊燃燒起來。

虛榮心戰(zhàn)勝友情？

　　命運(yùn)有時(shí)候就是陰差陽錯(cuò)。Greg在執(zhí)行送幼兒園小朋友回家的任務(wù)時(shí)，迎面碰上萬圣節(jié)那天得罪的不良少年。迫不得已的Greg只好讓所有小朋友藏到附近工地的大坑里，把小朋友們都嚇壞了。Greg穿著從Rowley那兒借來的雨衣，目擊者把他誤認(rèn)為Rowley。眼看著無辜的Rowley即將成為替罪羔羊，Greg卻猶豫著遲遲不敢坦白。當(dāng)他終于鼓足勇氣向Rowley說明真相時(shí)，Rowley卻已經(jīng)被Safety Patrol開除。

　　Greg: So, listen. It's kind of funny, you know, the whole Safety Patrol thing.

　　Rowley: Yeah?

　　Greg: Ready for the funny part? Well, I'm the one who terrorized (嚇壞) those kids!

　　Rowley: What?

　　Greg: Yeah, and I think we can both learn some valuable lessons from this.

　　Rowley本以為Greg是真心認(rèn)錯(cuò)，卻沒想到Greg所說的lesson，竟然是勸他"下次別再把雨衣借給別人"！面對(duì)他的毫無悔意，一向憨厚寬容的Rowley終于忍無可忍了。

　　Rowley: You know what, Greg? You are not a good friend.

　　Greg: Whoa. How could you even say that? I'm a great friend.

　　Rowley: If you were a good friend, you would have told Mr. Winsky the truth.

　　Greg: Okay, one thing. You can't get mad about just ...

　　Rowley: You only care about yourself. You hated my cartoon. You made fun of my clothes. You disrespected (不尊重) Joshie. You broke my hand and you didn't even seem sorry.

　　Greg: That broken hand was the best thing that ever happened to you!

　　Rowley: Don't call me. Don't come by my house. We are done.

　　Greg把"誣陷事件"說得如此輕描淡寫，難怪Rowley最后憤怒地說出"We are done"，表示兩個(gè)人的友誼就此結(jié)束了。Rowley的話一針見血地指出了Greg的問題：他只在乎自己，忽略了生活中重要的人--時(shí)刻陪伴他左右的Rowley。銀裝素裹的校園，兩位死黨的友誼也降到冰點(diǎn)。

真正的明星

　　Greg終于找到了他擅長(zhǎng)的事業(yè)--擔(dān)任合唱團(tuán)領(lǐng)唱。他相信，他能夠借此一舉成名。但他的這個(gè)夢(mèng)想?yún)s被仗著父母的勢(shì)力在學(xué)校作威作福的女生Patty徹底粉碎了：她不僅搶了Greg合唱團(tuán)領(lǐng)唱的角色，還在音樂劇《綠野仙蹤》的演出中當(dāng)眾奚落他。只是對(duì)于此時(shí)的Greg來說，他關(guān)心的只是坐在臺(tái)下的Rowley的反應(yīng)。令他失望的是，Rowley看上去根本不在乎他的表現(xiàn)。怒火中燒的Greg和Patty在舞臺(tái)上打成一團(tuán)，把音樂劇變成了摔跤賽，令音樂老師和坐在臺(tái)下的媽媽都大失所望。

　　然而，和Rowley冷戰(zhàn)終究不是長(zhǎng)久之計(jì)。親子舞會(huì)上，Greg的媽媽勸他與Rowley和好。

　　Mom: I think it's time you two make up.

　　Greg: I can't.

　　Mom: Sweetheart, he's your best friend. And sometimes, when somebody's worth it, you just have to put yourself out there.

　　Greg: I wouldn't know what to say.

　　要面子的Greg其實(shí)早就后悔自己的幼稚和以自我為中心，只是他并不懂得如何道歉，不恰當(dāng)?shù)难栽~反而激化了矛盾，兩人幾乎動(dòng)起手來。偏偏在這時(shí)，"萬圣節(jié)不良少年"又出現(xiàn)了，他們逼Rowley做了一件最可怕的事......

　　Greg進(jìn)校之初，校園里流傳著一個(gè)"千年奶酪"的傳說。在學(xué)校的籃球場(chǎng)上有一片奶酪，被學(xué)生們敬畏地稱為Cheese Touch。據(jù)傳，誰不小心碰到它，就會(huì)被詛咒，成為全校最不受歡迎的人。因此，就連打掃操場(chǎng)的清潔工人也對(duì)它心懷恐懼，從來不敢把它掃走。這顯然是"校園前輩"整新人的又一個(gè)花樣。幾個(gè)不良少年當(dāng)然對(duì)Cheese Touch也有所耳聞，于是逼迫Rowley撿起奶酪咬一口。同學(xué)們紛紛涌來操場(chǎng)看熱鬧，Rowley痛苦萬分。關(guān)鍵時(shí)刻，Greg從人群中走了出來，像明星一樣站到眾人面前，撒了一個(gè)謊。

　　Patty: Oh, my god! Rowley Jefferson ate....

　　Greg: I ate the cheese! [人群紛紛后退，Greg走上前撿起cheese] Yes, I ate it. And you know what, people? I just did you all a huge favor. I ate the cheese to show you all how stupid this whole school is. The wrong friends. The wrong lunch table. The wrong butt. It's all meaningless just like this cheese. I know it. You all know it. So come on. Everyone else who's sick of it, step forward and join me!

　　結(jié)果不言而喻：同學(xué)們并沒有被Greg的話說服，也沒能消除成見，反而像躲避瘟神一樣四散逃開。但是有一個(gè)人卻沒有逃走，那就是見證了這段珍貴的友誼破鏡重圓的Angie。

　　Angie: Not bad, Heffley (編者注：Greg的姓). Not bad at all.

　　Greg: [轉(zhuǎn)向Rowley] So you want to come over after school and play?

　　Rowley: Yeah! Okay.

　　Greg犧牲自己看重的人緣挽救了自己和Rowley的友誼，兩人終于冰釋前嫌。

　　回頭來看，Greg和Rowley這兩個(gè)小屁孩和我們是不是有那么一點(diǎn)相似呢？Greg以自我為中心，卻不是真的自私，而是還沒學(xué)會(huì)怎么去顧及他人的想法；他愛面子，看重別人對(duì)自己的看法和評(píng)價(jià)，是因?yàn)樗€沒能真正了解對(duì)自己來說什么才是最重要的。而Rowley則像Greg的互補(bǔ)面。他沒有Greg的機(jī)靈勁兒，卻難得糊涂，遲鈍的性格反而造就了他的寬容和大度；他為了朋友能"兩肋插刀"，對(duì)陌生人也從不斤斤計(jì)較。別人嘲笑他奇異的愛好時(shí)，他滿不在乎，依然如故；人們眾星捧月地圍著他時(shí)，他安之若素，不忘老友。也許一開始我們會(huì)覺得Rowley不夠出色不夠酷，可是經(jīng)過時(shí)間的考驗(yàn)我們才發(fā)現(xiàn)，還有什么比永遠(yuǎn)做自己更酷呢？為什么一定要成為別人眼里的明星、在意外人的評(píng)價(jià)呢？生活從來不是用來證明什么的，跟隨自己的心去體會(huì)，生命就會(huì)閃亮。