錢的笑話：8、 A professional gambler 職業(yè)賭徒

8. A professional gambler

One day during the Great Depression, a man walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks." The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."

The guy pulled out a huge wad2 of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" Asked the bartender. "I'm a professional gambler." Replied the man.

The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?" "Well, I only bet on sure things." Said the guy. "Like what?" Asked the bartender. "Well, for example, I'll bet you 50 dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said. The bartender thought about it and said "Okay."

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed3 me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another 50 dollars that I can bite my left eye. Said the man. The bartender thought again and said, "Well, you're not blind, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

Aw, you screwed me again! Protested the bartender.

That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch whisky4 in lieu of 5the fifty dollars. Said the man.

Notes:

1. professional gambler 職業(yè)賭徒

2. wad 一卷，一疊

3. screw 使……上當(dāng)

4. scotch whisky 蘇格蘭威士忌酒

5. in lieu of 替代

職業(yè)賭徒

經(jīng)濟(jì)大蕭條時(shí)期的一天，有個(gè)男人走進(jìn)一家酒吧，對(duì)調(diào)酒師說(shuō)：“調(diào)酒師，我想為在座的所有客人每人買一杯酒?！闭{(diào)酒師說(shuō)：“當(dāng)然可以，不過(guò)現(xiàn)在正處于經(jīng)濟(jì)蕭條時(shí)期，我需要先看到你帶有足夠的現(xiàn)金才行?！?

那人從口袋里掏出一大疊鈔票放到吧臺(tái)上。調(diào)酒師簡(jiǎn)直不敢相信自己的眼睛，就問(wèn)：“你這些錢都是從哪兒弄來(lái)的？”男士回答：“我是一個(gè)職業(yè)賭徒。”“這不可能。我的意思是，在賭場(chǎng)你贏的機(jī)會(huì)最多也就五五開，不是嗎？”調(diào)酒師說(shuō)?！澳钱?dāng)然，不過(guò)我只打我必贏的賭?！蹦惺空f(shuō)?！氨热缒?？”調(diào)酒師問(wèn)道?！斑?，例如，我可以和你賭50美元：我能用自己的牙咬到自己的右眼?！彼f(shuō)。調(diào)酒師想了一下，就說(shuō)：“那就來(lái)吧！”

于是，那個(gè)人將他右邊的假眼摳了出來(lái)，用嘴咬了一下。調(diào)酒師說(shuō)聲“唉！我上當(dāng)了！”就給了他50美元。

那陌生人又說(shuō)道：“我會(huì)再給你一次機(jī)會(huì)的。我再和你賭50美元：我可以用我的牙咬到我的左眼?！闭{(diào)酒師想了想說(shuō)道：“哼！你又不是盲人，我可是看著你走進(jìn)這個(gè)酒吧的。這一把我和你賭定了！”

話剛出口，那家伙就從嘴里一把將假牙掰了下來(lái)，咬了左眼睛一下。

“唉！我又上當(dāng)了！”調(diào)酒師幾乎是抗議地叫出聲來(lái)。

“這就是我贏了這么多錢的辦法，小伙子！不過(guò)這次你也不用給我50元了，我只拿走一瓶威士忌就算了！”那人說(shuō)道。

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