It was easy to get into the habit of stopping in at 27 rue de Fleurus late in the afternoon for the warmth and the great pictures and the conversation. Often Miss Stein would have no guests and she was always very friendly and for a long time she was affectionate. When I had come back from trips that I had made to the different political conferences or to the Near East or Germany for the Canadian paper and the news services that I worked for she wanted me to tell her about all the amusing details. There were funny parts always and she liked them and also what the Germans call gallows-humor stories. She wanted to know the gay part of how the world was going; never the real, never the bad.
I was young and not gloomy and there were always strange and comic things that happened in the worst time and Miss Stein liked to hear these. The other things I did not talk of and wrote by myself.
When I had not come back from any trips and would stop in at the rue de Fleurus after working I would try sometimes to get Miss Stein to talk about books. When I was writing, it was necessary for me to read after I had written. If you kept thinking about it, you would lose the thing that you were writing before you could go on with it the next day. It was necessary to get exercise, to be tired in the body, and it was very good to make love with whom you loved.That was better than anything. But afterwards, when you were empty, it was necessary to read in order not to think or worry about your work until you could do it again. I had learned already never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
To keep my mind off writing sometimes after I had worked I would read writers who were writing then, such as Aldous Huxley, D. H. Lawrence or any who had books published that I could get from Sylvia Beach’s library or find along the quais.
“Huxley is a dead man,” Miss Stein said. “Why do you want to read a dead man? Can’t you see he is dead?”
I could not see, then, that he was a dead man and I said that his books amused me and kept me from thinking.
“You should only read what is truly good or what is frankly bad.”
“I’ve been reading truly good books all winter and all last winter and I’ll read them next winter, and I don’t like frankly bad books.”
“Why do you read this trash? It is inflated trash, Hemingway. By a dead man.”
“I like to see what they are writing,” I said. “And it keeps my mind off me doing it.”
“Who else do you read now?”
“D. H. Lawrence,” I said. “He wrote some very good short stories, one called ‘The Prussian Officer.’?”
“I tried to read his novels. He’s impossible. He’s pathetic and preposterous. He writes like a sick man.”
“I liked Sons and Lovers and The White Peacock,” I said.“Maybe that not so well. I couldn’t read Women in Love.”
“If you don’t want to read what is bad, and want to read something that will hold your interest and is marvelous in its own way, you should read Marie Belloc Lowndes.”
I had never heard of her, and Miss Stein loaned me The Lodger, that marvelous story of Jack the Ripper and another book about murder at a place outside Paris that could only be Enghien les Bains. They were both splendid after-work books, the people credible and the action and the terror never false. They were perfect for reading after you had worked and I read all the Mrs. Belloc Lowndes that there was. But there was only so much and none as good as the first two and I never found anything as good for that empty time of day or night until the first fine Simenon books came out.
I think Miss Stein would have liked the good Simenons—the first one I read was either L’Ecluse Numéro 1, or La Maison du Canal—but I am not sure because when I knew Miss Stein she did not like to read French although she loved to speak it. Janet Flanner gave me the first two Simenons I ever read. She loved to read French and she had read Simenon when he was a crime reporter.
In the three or four years that we were good friends I cannot remember Gertrude Stein ever speaking well of any writer who had not written favorably about her work or done something to advance her career except for Ronald Firbank and, later, Scott Fitzgerald. When I first met her she did not speak of Sherwood Anderson as a writer but spoke glowingly of him as a man and of his great, beautiful, warm Italian eyes and of his kindness and his charm. I did not care about his great beautiful warm Italian eyes but I liked some of his short stories very much. They were simply written and sometimes beautifully written and he knew the people he was writing about and cared deeply for them. Miss Stein did not want to talk about his stories but always about him as a person.
“What about his novels?” I asked her. She did not want to talk about Anderson’s works any more than she would talk about Joyce. If you brought up Joyce twice, you would not be invited back. It was like mentioning one general favorably to another general. You learned not to do it the first time you made the mistake. You could always mention a general, though, that the general you were talking to had beaten. The general you were talking to would praise the beaten general greatly and go happily into detail on how he had beaten him.
Anderson’s stories were too good to make happy conversation. I was prepared to tell Miss Stein how strangely poor his novels were, but this would have been bad too because it was criticizing one of her most loyal supporters. When he wrote a novel finally called Dark Laughter, so terribly bad, silly and affected that I could not keep from criticizing it in a parody,[1]Miss Stein was very angry. I had attacked someone that was a part of her apparatus. But for a long time before that she was not angry. She, herself, began to praise Sherwood lavishly after he had cracked up as a writer.
She was angry at Ezra Pound because he had sat down too quickly on a small, fragile and, doubtless, uncomfortable chair, that it is quite possible he had been given on purpose, and had either cracked or broken it. That he was a great poet and a gentle and generous man and could have accommodated himself in a normal-size chair was not considered. The reasons for her dislike of Ezra, skillfully and maliciously put, were invented years later.
It was when we had come back from Canada and were living in the rue Notre-Dame-des-Champs and Miss Stein and I were still good friends that Miss Stein made the remark about the lost generation. She had some ignition trouble with the old Model T Ford she then drove and the young man who worked in the garage and had served in the last year of the war had not been adept, or perhaps had not broken the priority of other vehicles, in repairing Miss Stein’s Ford. Anyway he had not been sérieux and had been corrected severely by the patron of the garage after Miss Stein’s protest. The patron had said to him, “You are all a génération perdue.”
“That’s what you are. That’s what you all are,” Miss Stein said.“All of you young people who served in the war. You are a lost generation.”
“Really?” I said.
“You are,” she insisted. “You have no respect for anything. You drink yourselves to death....”
“Was the young mechanic drunk?” I asked.
“Of course not.”
“Have you ever seen me drunk?”
“No. But your friends are drunk.”
“I’ve been drunk,” I said. “But I don’t come here drunk.”
“Of course not. I didn’t say that.”
“The boy’s patron was probably drunk by eleven o’clock in the morning,” I said. “That’s why he makes such lovely phrases.”
“Don’t argue with me, Hemingway,” Miss Stein said. “It does no good at all. You’re all a lost generation, exactly as the garage keeper said.”
Later when I wrote my first novel I tried to balance Miss Stein’s quotation from the garage keeper with one from Ecclesiastes. But that night walking home I thought about the boy in the garage and if he had ever been hauled in one of those vehicles when they were converted to ambulances. I remembered how they used to burn out their brakes going down the mountain roads with a full load of wounded and braking in low and finally using the reverse, and how the last ones were driven over the mountainside empty, so they could be replaced by big Fiats with a good H-shift and metal-to-metal brakes. I thought of Miss Stein and Sherwood Anderson and egotism and mental laziness versus discipline and I thought who is calling who a lost generation? Then as I was getting up to the Closerie des Lilas with the light on my old friend, the statue of Marshal Ney with his sword out and the shadows of the trees on the bronze, and he alone there and nobody behind him and what a fiasco he’d made of Waterloo, I thought that all generations were lost by something and always had been and always would be and I stopped at the Lilas to keep the statue company and drank a cold beer before going home to the flat over the sawmill. But sitting there with the beer, watching the statue and remembering how many days Ney had fought, personally, with the rearguard on the retreat from Moscow that Napoleon had ridden away from in the coach with Caulaincourt, I thought of what a warm and affectionate friend Miss Stein had been and how beautifully she had spoken of Apollinaire and of his death on the day of the Armistice in 1918 with the crowd shouting “à bas Guillaume” and Apollinaire, in his delirium, thinking they were crying against him, and I thought, I will do my best to serve her and see she gets justice for the good work she had done as long as I can, so help me God and Mike Ney. But the hell with her lost-generation talk and all the dirty, easy labels. When I got home and into the courtyard and upstairs and saw my wife and my son and his cat, F.Puss, all of them happy and a fire in the fireplace, I said to my wife,“You know, Gertrude is nice, anyway.”
“Of course, Tatie.”
“But she does talk a lot of rot sometimes.”
“I never hear her,” my wife said. “I’m a wife. It’s her friend that talks to me.”
Notes:
[1] The Torrents of Spring.
久而久之,我養(yǎng)成了一種習慣,下午動輒便到弗勒呂斯街27號去,在那兒烤火、觀賞名畫以及與斯泰因小姐談天說地。斯泰因小姐一般是不在工作室接待客人的,但對我卻十分友好,有很長一段時間表現(xiàn)得熱情洋溢。我為加拿大的一家報社效力,還為一些通訊社撰稿,常去近東和德國報道各種政治性會議,回來后她就叫我把趣聞軼事講給她聽。有些趣聞軼事是很有意思的,她百聽不厭,還喜歡聽德國人所謂的“絞刑架幽默”[1]的故事。她渴望了解這個世界快樂的一面,而非真相,也不愿知道丑惡的一面。
我那時年輕,不知道憂愁是什么滋味,覺得即便在最糟糕的時候也會發(fā)生奇怪和滑稽的事情,而斯泰因小姐想聽的正是這種事情。我將這些趣聞講給她聽,并將采訪到的內(nèi)容寫入稿件。
不出去采訪,我就搞創(chuàng)作,工作之余便去弗勒呂斯街找斯泰因小姐聊天。有時,我會請她針對如何讀書發(fā)表看法。我搞創(chuàng)作,都是寫一寫,然后讀一讀書。假如你一個勁絞盡腦汁思考自己所寫的內(nèi)容,不讀一點書的話,你會有江郎才盡的感覺,次日很可能就寫不下去了。鍛煉身體也是很有必要的,讓自己的筋骨感到疲倦,以緩解寫作的壓力。如果能跟你所愛的人做做愛,那就是神仙過的日子了,比什么都強。不過,云雨之后,你會感到空虛。此時,有必要讀書充實自己,以排除空想和焦慮——唯有如此,才能重新投入寫作當中。我的經(jīng)驗是:不要等到創(chuàng)作的源泉枯竭之后才輟筆,而是在水井里還有水時就及時補水,使之長流不竭。
為了讓大腦得到休息,我有時會在工作之余讀一讀當代作家的作品,如阿道司·赫胥黎[2]和戴維·赫伯特·勞倫斯[3]等。他們的作品可以從西爾維亞·比奇[4]的圖書館借到,也可以在碼頭書攤上買到。
“赫胥黎是個缺乏生氣的人,”斯泰因小姐說,“你怎么愿意讀這樣一個人的書?難道你看不出他是個死氣沉沉的人嗎?”
當時我沒有看出這一點,于是便推說看他的書只是圖個消遣,緩解一下壓力而已。
“讀書,應該讀貨真價實的好書,要么就讀臭名昭著的壞書?!?/p>
“若說貨真價實的好書,我去年冬天在讀,今年冬天在讀,明年冬天還會讀。至于臭名昭著的壞書,我是不愿意讀的?!?/p>
“那你為什么要讀赫胥黎的垃圾?那可是一個半死不活的人寫出的華而不實的垃圾,海明威!”
“他們的作品我只是隨便看看,”我說,“好讓大腦得到休息。”
“你現(xiàn)在還讀誰的作品?”
“戴維·赫伯特·勞倫斯的,”我說,“他的短篇小說有些寫得非常精彩,其中有一篇叫作《普魯士軍官》?!?/p>
“我原來想讀一讀他的長篇小說,誰知卻不堪卒讀。他的書可悲又可恥,十分荒唐,滿是病態(tài)的情調(diào)?!?/p>
“他的長篇,我喜歡《兒子與情人》和《白孔雀》,”我說,“也許,這樣做有點缺乏品位。至于《戀愛中的女人》,簡直讓人讀不下去?!?/p>
“既然你不愿意讀臭名昭著的壞書,而愿意讀自己感興趣而且里面含有精華的書,那就不妨看看瑪麗·貝羅克·朗茲[5]的作品?!?/p>
我沒聽說過這位作家。斯泰因小姐拿出兩本此人寫的書借給我看——一本是《房客》,動人心弦,寫的是“開膛手”杰克的故事,另一本寫的是一樁發(fā)生在巴黎近郊的謀殺案(一看就知道那地方是昂吉安萊班)。工作之余讀這樣的書妙不可言,書中的人物和情節(jié)真實可信,讀之令人毛骨悚然。在忙完寫作之后,讀這種書消遣是再好不過了。于是,我把貝羅克·朗茲夫人的書盡數(shù)收集來閱讀,這時才發(fā)現(xiàn)她的作品也不過就是那么點東西,沒有一本像我最初讀的那兩本那般精彩。在白天或夜間的空閑時間里,我感到空虛,卻苦于找不到好的作品消遣。后來,西默農(nóng)[6]的小說問世,一炮打響,才填補了這個空白。
我讀的西默農(nóng)的書,第一本不是《第一號船閘》就是《運河上的房子》,讓人手不釋卷。我覺得斯泰因小姐一定會喜歡西默農(nóng)的書,但是又不能百分百地肯定,因為那時的她雖然喜歡說法語,卻不喜歡看法語書。我讀的西默農(nóng)的頭兩本書,都是珍妮特·弗朗納[7]送給我的。珍妮特愛讀法語書,早在西默農(nóng)擔任報道犯罪案件的記者時,就讀他的作品了。
有三四年的時間,我和格特魯?shù)隆に固┮虮3种H密友好的關系,從沒聽她稱贊過哪個作家,只是對那些撰文吹捧過她的作品,對她的事業(yè)有所貢獻的人,她才另眼相看。不過,這里面羅納德·菲爾班克和后起之秀司各特·菲茨杰拉德[8]是個例外。
剛認識她時,聽她說起過舍伍德·安德森[9]。她談起舍伍德·安德森,不是談他的創(chuàng)作,而是大談特談他的為人和長相,說他有一雙熱情洋溢、美麗動人的意大利人的眼睛,說他心地善良,極具個人魅力。他有沒有熱情洋溢、美麗動人的意大利人的眼睛,我并不關心,但對于他的一些短篇小說我還是非常喜歡的。那些短篇筆鋒簡練,有些鬼斧神工的味道。他關心和了解自己所寫的人物,對他們有著深厚的感情。對他的作品斯泰因小姐避而不談,卻滔滔不絕地談他的為人和長相。
“你覺得他的長篇寫得怎么樣?”我問道。豈不知這樣問是犯忌的。她壓根就不愿談安德森的作品,正如她不愿談喬伊斯的作品一樣。只要你兩次提起喬伊斯,她就不會再邀請你去做客了。這就像在一位將軍面前稱贊另一位將軍。遇到這種情況,應該吃一塹長一智。不過,在和將軍交談時,你可以談另一位被他打敗過的將軍。這時,跟你交談的那位將軍就會大大稱贊自己的手下敗將,然后不厭其煩地詳細描述自己是如何打敗對方的。
安德森的短篇寫得太漂亮了,以此為話題會叫斯泰因小姐不高興的。所以,我打算跟她聊一聊他的長篇,準備說他的長篇簡直是涂鴉之作。誰知這樣也不行,因為這樣就等于是在抨擊她的一位鐵桿支持者了。后來,安德森寫了一部名為《黑色的笑聲》的長篇小說,差勁得不能再差勁了,忸怩作態(tài)、矯揉造作,我忍不住在一篇諷刺文章里對其口誅筆伐,結果惹得斯泰因小姐勃然大怒,因為我批評的人是她圈子里的成員。在這之前,她很長時間都沒有生過氣了。安德森的寫作生涯走到盡頭時,她親自出馬,為其大唱贊歌。
她曾生過埃茲拉·龐德[10]的氣,原因是后者把她的一把椅子壓壞了,那椅子又小又單薄,顯然很不舒適,也可能是故意留給他坐的,結果就壓壞了(大概是開裂了)。龐德是偉大的詩人,性情溫和,是個仗義疏財?shù)娜恕哟@樣的人,應該讓他坐大小適宜的椅子才對。她不喜歡龐德,多年后解釋原因時編造出了一些理由,把話說得很巧妙,里面包含著惡意。
那時,我們從加拿大回來后,住在圣母院大街。我跟斯泰因小姐仍是親密無間的朋友。一天,她提出了“迷惘的一代”之說法。當時,她駕駛的那輛老式福特T型汽車的點火裝置出了些毛病,到修理廠后,一個小伙子負責為她修車。小伙子在第一次世界大戰(zhàn)的最后一年曾服過兵役,修車時技術不夠熟練,或者說沒有打破先來先修、后來后修的規(guī)矩提前為斯泰因小姐修車。反正不管怎么說吧,斯泰因小姐對他頗有微詞,弄得他被修理廠的老板狠狠訓斥了一頓。
老板對他說:“你們都是迷惘的一代?!?/p>
“你就是這樣的人。你們?nèi)际?!”斯泰因小姐對我說,“你們這些年輕人,在戰(zhàn)爭中服過兵役,全都屬于迷惘的一代,無一例外。”
“真的嗎?”我說。
“的確如此,”她語氣堅定地說,“你們把什么都不放在眼里,一喝酒就醉個半死?!?/p>
“那個年輕的修理工醉了個半死嗎?”
“那倒沒有?!?/p>
“你見過我喝醉嗎?”
“沒有。但你的朋友是酗酒的。”
“其實,我喝醉過,”我說,“但一喝醉,我是不來這兒的?!?/p>
“當然不是那回事。這話可不是我說的?!?/p>
“也許,那個修理工的老板是個酒徒,上午十一點的時候喝了個酩酊大醉,”我說,“所以,酒后說了些胡話?!?/p>
“別跟我爭辯了,海明威,”斯泰因小姐說,“這根本沒有用。你們?nèi)敲糟囊淮囆蘩韽S的那個老板說得不錯?!?/p>
后來,在創(chuàng)作第一部長篇小說[11]時,我把斯泰因小姐引用汽車修理廠老板的那句話跟《傳道書》[12]的用語相比較,發(fā)現(xiàn)這一術語來自《傳道書》。話說那天夜里回家的路上,我想到了汽車修理廠的那個小伙子,不知道他是否跟我一樣,曾在戰(zhàn)爭中被拉去駕駛用普通車改裝成的救護車[13]。記得有一次運傷員,下山時司機們拼命踩剎車,把剎車片都燒壞了也不頂用,最后用了倒車擋才讓車停下。最后的幾輛車空車駛過了山腰,車上的傷員轉移到了大型菲亞特汽車上——那種車有性能良好的變速器以及全金屬的制動器??傊诜导业穆飞衔腋∠肼?lián)翩,想到了斯泰因小姐和舍伍德·安德森,想到了自我主義和思想的懶散,還想到了自我約束。末了,我不禁自問:“究竟哪些人才應該被稱為‘迷惘的一代’呢?”走近丁香園咖啡館時,我看見燈光正照在我的老朋友內(nèi)伊元帥[14]手持戰(zhàn)刀的雕像上——婆娑的樹影灑在這尊青銅雕像上,他孤零零地站在那兒,背后沒有一個人。正是這個人,在滑鐵盧戰(zhàn)役中一敗涂地。我心想:每一代人都有自己的“迷惘”,過去如此,今后也必然如此。想到這里,我在丁香園咖啡館留住了腳步,打算陪一陪這尊雕像,喝上一杯冰鎮(zhèn)啤酒,然后再回我那位于鋸木廠附近的公寓樓家中。但坐下來喝酒時,我心里又起波瀾,望著那尊雕像,想起莫斯科戰(zhàn)敗后,拿破侖帶著科蘭古[15]乘馬車倉皇撤退時,內(nèi)伊則率軍斷后,不知鏖戰(zhàn)了多少個日日夜夜。想起了斯泰因小姐是個多么熱情親切的朋友,想起了她對阿波里耐[16]的高度評價,想起了她在說到阿波里耐的死時是多么悲傷——阿波里耐死于1918年停戰(zhàn)的那一天,當時群眾在高喊“打倒紀堯姆”[17],身處彌留之際的阿波里耐以為自己成了眾矢之的。對于斯泰因小姐,我決定盡自己最大的力量為她效力,只要自己力所能及,就一定要還她一個公道,讓她的杰出的貢獻得到公正的對待。愿上帝和內(nèi)伊將軍祝我成功!話雖如此,但還是叫她的“迷惘的一代”之說以及所有的那些烏七八糟、信手拈來的標簽統(tǒng)統(tǒng)見鬼去吧!我回到家,走進院子,上了樓,見自己的妻子、兒子和小貓“F貓咪”都高高興興的,壁爐里生著火,我的心情也好了起來,便對妻子說:“不管怎么說,格特魯?shù)職w根結底還是個好人?!?/p>
“這是當然的,塔蒂?!?/p>
“不過,她有時說話說得很離譜?!?/p>
“我沒聽她跟我說過什么,”我的妻子說,“我是做妻子的。跟我說話的是她的那個同伴?!盵18]
注釋:
[1] “絞刑架幽默”是幽默或者笑話的一種形式,是針對自身的糟糕處境表達的一種幽默。
[2] 英格蘭作家。
[3] 英國小說家、批評家、詩人。代表作品有《兒子與情人》《虹》《戀愛中的女人》和《查泰萊夫人的情人》等。
[4] 美國著名出版商,常年僑居巴黎。她出版了詹姆斯·喬伊斯的有爭議的書《尤利西斯》。
[5] 英國小說家,擅長寫偵探小說。
[6] 世界聞名的法語偵探小說家,作品超過四百五十部,全球銷售超過五億冊,是全世界較為多產(chǎn)與暢銷的作家。
[7] 《紐約人》雜志社的新聞記者。
[8] 美國小說家,代表作是《了不起的蓋茨比》。
[9] 美國作家。
[10] 美國詩人和文學評論家,意象派詩歌運動的重要代表人物。他和艾略特同為后期象征主義詩歌的領軍人物。其代表作是《在地鐵站內(nèi)》。
[11] 指《太陽照常升起》。
[12] 《圣經(jīng)》中的“智慧書”。
[13] 第一次世界大戰(zhàn)爆發(fā)后,海明威辭掉了記者一職去意大利參戰(zhàn)。由于視力缺陷導致體檢不及格,只被調(diào)到紅十字會救傷隊擔任救護車司機。
[14] 拿破侖麾下最勇猛的一員戰(zhàn)將。
[15] 拿破侖的外交官。
[16] 法國詩人,前衛(wèi)文學藝術領域的領袖人物。
[17] 其實,群眾要打倒的是德皇威廉二世——“威廉”在法語中和“紀堯姆”讀音相似。
[18] 此話的言外之意:格特魯?shù)隆に固┮虻哪俏煌詰侔閭H充當著“妻子”的角色。
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