他其實(shí)沒(méi)那么喜歡你 第37期:愛(ài)情中的性與愛(ài)

Here's Why This One is Hard, by Liz

它為何如此艱難，莉茲

Well, duh. It's about sex. Talking about sex. Askingabout sex. Asking for sex. Jeez. That's really fun.

好吧。這事關(guān)于性。談?wù)撔?，?wèn)詢(xún)性，索要性。天吶，真有趣。

And I don't know about you, but I would muchrather believe, any day of the week, that a man istoo scared, too stressed, too sad, too spiritual, tooangry, too fat, too crazy, too in love with his ex-girlfriend, too scared, too sensitive, too sunburned, too in love with his mother, too homicidal,too anything, than find out that he's really just not attracted to me.

我不了解你，但是我寧愿相信，不管一個(gè)禮拜的哪一天，一個(gè)男人太害怕，壓力太大，太難過(guò)，太精神，太生氣，太胖，太瘋狂，過(guò)于深?lèi)?ài)前女友，太恐懼，太敏感，曬太黑，過(guò)于深?lèi)?ài)母親，太嗜殺，太怎么樣，而不是你對(duì)他沒(méi)有吸引力。

Or that he doesn't want to have sex with me because then it will mean we're in a realrelationship, and actually he doesn't really like me that much.

或者他不想跟我做愛(ài)是因?yàn)檫@意味著我們將正式步入戀情，實(shí)際上他并沒(méi)有那么愛(ài)我。

It's extra confusing because we're talking about sex (embarrassing) mixed with emotions(mortifying) mixed with our own insecurities (nightmare) .

這更令人困惑，因?yàn)槲覀冋诎研?好尷尬)與情感(好窘迫)以及我們自己的不安全感(噩夢(mèng))混為一談。

And in the case of long-term relationships, people always tell you the sex goes away anyway, sowhat does it really matter if it goes away a little sooner than you wanted it to?

而且就長(zhǎng)久的戀情而言，人們會(huì)說(shuō)做愛(ài)是必然的事，所以它發(fā)生的早一些有什么關(guān)系?

Isn't the other stuff much more important, like being compatible and him being a good personand potentially a great father?

難道別的東西不是更加重要么?比如說(shuō)二者和睦共處，他會(huì)變成一個(gè)好人以及一個(gè)好父親。

Because it's such a psychologically complex issue and talking about it is so excruciating, Iwould almost be able to settle for the relationship with the guy who only likes sleepovers, orthe boyfriend with the presumed low sex drive.

因?yàn)檫@是一個(gè)十分復(fù)雜的心理問(wèn)題，討論它讓人感覺(jué)很難以忍受，我情愿和這個(gè)只喜歡過(guò)夜者的男人或低性欲的男朋友定下戀愛(ài)關(guān)系。

I mean, he still enjoys my company.

我是說(shuō)，他依然喜歡我的陪伴。

I might be able to sleep next to the guy who has stopped wanting to have sex with me, withoutsaying a peep.

我可以和一個(gè)只想跟我做愛(ài)的人一起睡，啥都不說(shuō)。

Or keep dating the guy who seems to want to be my boyfriend but doesn't seem to have anyinterest in ever seeing me naked.

或者繼續(xù)和這個(gè)看起來(lái)想當(dāng)我男朋友但是對(duì)我裸體毫無(wú)性趣的人戀愛(ài)。

I might even be able to exist in a peaceful marriage with a wonderful man who is more like abest friend than a husband.

我也許甚至?xí)鸵粋€(gè)更似好友而不是丈夫的好男人開(kāi)展平靜的婚姻。

If it wasn't for those goddamn happy couples I know.

如果我不知道那些該死的幸福夫妻的話(huà)。

And I'm not talking about the ones you see on the streets slobbering all over each other.

而且我說(shuō)的并非那些在街道上對(duì)著對(duì)方流口水的人。

Who knows what they're like behind closed doors.

誰(shuí)知道他們關(guān)上門(mén)會(huì)變成什么樣。

I'm talking about my friends who I know quite well, who manage to juggle work, careers,intimacy, even kids, and still manage to have sexy, loving relationships.

我說(shuō)的是我一個(gè)很了解的朋友，她兼顧工作，事業(yè)，性，甚至孩子，還能有性感，有愛(ài)的戀情。

I could easily settle for less if I happened to be the type of person, upon seeing these couples,just thought, What's the big deal about that?

如果我是那種看到這些夫妻后，只是想想這并沒(méi)什么大不了的類(lèi)型，我會(huì)很容易知足安定。