生活英語(yǔ)聽(tīng)力文章：消極與積極的抱怨

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　　消極與積極的抱怨

　　Psychologists say that people generally complain for one of two reasons—as a way of enlisting people to agree with their point of view, or as a means of making conversation since negative observations often yield a bigger response than positive comments. (Sadly, that is true.)

　　心里學(xué)家說(shuō)人們通常抱怨有兩方面的原因：一個(gè)是來(lái)爭(zhēng)取別人的觀點(diǎn)和自己的一致，或作為一種交談因?yàn)樨?fù)面觀察往往比積極評(píng)價(jià)產(chǎn)生更大的反應(yīng)。(可悲的是，這是真的。)

　　Today, I’m going on record as saying that neither of these reasons are valid enough to outweigh the fact that no one likes being around people who are chronic complainers.

　　今天,我要公開(kāi)說(shuō),這些原因都是正當(dāng)?shù)?，而且比沒(méi)有人喜歡被周?chē)艘恢北г怪@一事實(shí)更有價(jià)值。

　　Whining Damages Reputations

　　抱怨損害名譽(yù)

　　Whining is a childish trait and can be a very difficult habit to break once it has become a part of a person’s communication style. Nevertheless, breaking the habit of complaining is essential if we wish to be viewed as people whose words carry weight and whose opinions matter.

　　抱怨是一種非常幼稚的行為習(xí)慣，一旦養(yǎng)成就很難打破這種壞習(xí)慣，它將成為人們交際風(fēng)格的一部分。然而，改正抱怨的習(xí)慣是非常必要的，如果我們希望被別人視為那種說(shuō)話和觀點(diǎn)有分量的人。

　　Some forms of complaints are obvious, but other forms are often disguised as commentary or critique. They may appear more subtle but are just as damaging to your reputation.

　　有些抱怨的形式是非常明顯的，但也有其他形式常常被偽裝成評(píng)論或批判。它們的出現(xiàn)可能是微妙的，但是卻可以損害你的名譽(yù)。

　　Complaint Etiquette

　　抱怨禮儀

　　When you do have a legitimate complaint to communicate, you can do so in a productive manner by following these guidelines.

　　當(dāng)你確實(shí)有一個(gè)合理的抱怨需要進(jìn)行溝通,你可以以富有成效的方式遵循這些準(zhǔn)則。

　　1. Have a purpose. Having an objective for complaining means that you wish to accomplish something that is both reasonable and specific.

　　1.有目的性的。有一個(gè)客觀的抱怨意味著你想有所成就,這是合理而又明確的。

　　Complaints without purpose include things like:

　　沒(méi)有目的的抱怨的事情有：

　　The way your favorite NFL team played on Sunday

　　The weather

　　The traffic on the Interstate

　　These things may bother you to a degree, but you can’t do anything about any of them, so why spend your time (and someone else’s) complaining about them?

　　您最喜歡的美國(guó)國(guó)家足球聯(lián)盟的球隊(duì)在周日比賽;天氣;州級(jí)公路上的交通;有些事可能影響你的學(xué)位，但是你又不能對(duì)他們做任何事，因此為什么你要花費(fèi)你的(和別人的)時(shí)間來(lái)抱怨他們呢?

　　2. Offer a proposed solution. Whenever you complain, be prepared to offer a reasonable solution.

　　2.提供一種解決方案。無(wú)論你什么時(shí)候抱怨，去準(zhǔn)備提供一種合理的解決方法。

　　3. Be understanding. People are not perfect and most employees are doing the best they can. It’s also important to recognize that what may be logical to you, may not be logical to someone else.

　　3.理解性的。人都是不完美的，但是員工們盡他們最大的努力去做事。同樣重要的是，認(rèn)識(shí)到什么對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)是合理的，或許這些對(duì)別人來(lái)說(shuō)不是合理的。

　　Make a point to accept and value the differences in people. Recognize that we all come from different backgrounds and have different life experiences. Specifically, have a little more patience; be a little more forgiving of others.

　　強(qiáng)調(diào)接受和價(jià)值的差異。要承認(rèn)我們都是來(lái)自不同的背景，有著不同的生活經(jīng)歷。具體來(lái)說(shuō)，要多一點(diǎn)耐心，學(xué)會(huì)更加寬容別人。

　　If you find yourself being overly critical of others or the world at large (which leads to the habit of complaining), let me encourage you to start being more aware of this and work on improving your attitude in this area.

　　如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己過(guò)于批判別人或者整個(gè)世界(這就是導(dǎo)致你形成抱怨的習(xí)慣)，讓我來(lái)鼓勵(lì)你開(kāi)始有意識(shí)的對(duì)待這些，這樣會(huì)改變你在這些方面的態(tài)度。

　　4. Treat others with respect and kindness. If you must complain in such circumstances such as being served cold food in a restaurant, discovering a billing error, or challenging a warranty discrepancy, describe your situation in a way that shows respect to the individual listening to your complaint.

　　4.要尊重和善待他人。如果你一定要在這種環(huán)境中抱怨，例如飯館的食物太涼，發(fā)現(xiàn)記錯(cuò)賬，或者是遇到一個(gè)具有挑戰(zhàn)性的矛盾，描述你的情況，來(lái)顯示對(duì)聽(tīng)你抱怨的聆聽(tīng)者們的尊重。

　　Often times, it’s not their fault. And even if it is, there is no reason to speak to them like they are stupid or incompetent. Doing that will only make matters worse and reflect poorly on you.

　　通常，這不是他們的錯(cuò)。即使是這樣，也沒(méi)有理由去說(shuō)他們是愚蠢的或者是無(wú)能的。這樣做只會(huì)讓事情變得更糟糕，會(huì)反映出你惡劣的心情。

　　How to Break the Destructive Habit

　　如何去改正這些不好的習(xí)慣?

　　The good news is that breaking the habit of complaining is something we can all do on our own. Here are a few tips to get you started.

　　最好的方法是我們自己去改正這些對(duì)事情抱怨的習(xí)慣。這有一些小貼士來(lái)幫助你開(kāi)始改正。

　　For the next 24 hours, make an effort to catch yourself each time you complain—at home, at work, and out in the community. Being aware of your tone and how much you verbalize your dissatisfaction with other people or things is the first step toward ridding yourself of this bad habit.

　　Listen to the people around you, especially out in public. Notice how they speak to servers, customer service representatives, and other workers. What does this tell you about them? What does the way you speak to people in public say about you?

　　The next time you find it necessary to lodge a legitimate complaint, make sure it meets the criteria discussed above—purposeful, solution-oriented, understanding, kind, and whine-free.

　　Complaining is harmful to your reputation. If you must complain, make sure your words are constructive and that you handle yourself in a way that reflects positively on your character.

　　在接下來(lái)的24個(gè)小時(shí)里，努力你發(fā)現(xiàn)你每次抱怨的時(shí)間，在家里，在工作時(shí)，還是在外面的社區(qū)。改正壞習(xí)慣的第一步是注意你的語(yǔ)氣和你對(duì)別人或者事情不滿意的嘮叨。聽(tīng)你周?chē)娜苏f(shuō)，尤其是在公共場(chǎng)合。注意他們對(duì)服務(wù)員、客戶服務(wù)代表和其他工人說(shuō)話的語(yǔ)氣。別人對(duì)你說(shuō)話的方式取決于你在公共場(chǎng)合對(duì)別人說(shuō)話的方式。接下來(lái)你要找到一個(gè)讓你抱怨正當(dāng)理由，確保它符合上述標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，目的明確面向方案，善良和自由的。抱怨對(duì)你的名譽(yù)是有損害的。如果你一定要抱怨，確定你說(shuō)的話是有教育意義的，你的處理方式反映了你積極的性格。