牛津書蟲系列 簡愛 chapter 2

2 Leaving Gateshead

2 離開蓋茨赫德

I woke up to find the doctor lifting me very carefully into my own bed.It was good to be back in my familiar bedroom，with a warm fire and candle-light.It was also a great relief to recognize Dr Lloyd，who Mrs Reed called in for her servants(she always called a specialist for herself and the children).He was looking after me so kindly.I felt he would protect me from Mrs Reed.He talked to me a little，then gave Bessie orders to take good care of me.When he left，I felt very lonely again.

我醒來時，發(fā)現(xiàn)醫(yī)生正小心地把我抱回我的床上?；氐阶约菏煜さ摹⒂袦嘏臓t火和燭光的臥室，真是太好了。見到洛依德醫(yī)生也是極大的安慰。里德太太總是請他為仆人看病(她和她的子女請的是?？拼蠓?。他仔細(xì)護理著我，我覺得他可以在里德太太面前保護我。他和我說了會兒話，然后告訴貝茜要好好照顧我。他走了，我又感到非常孤獨。

But I was surprised to find that Bessie did not scold me at all.In fact she was so kind to me that I became brave enough to ask a question.

但令我驚奇的是貝茜根本沒有訓(xùn)斥我。實際上，她待我很好，我竟壯著膽子問了她一個問題。

’Bessie，what’s happened?Am I ill?’

“貝茜，發(fā)生了什么事?我病了嗎?”

’Yes，you became ill in the red room，but you’ll get better，don’t worry，Miss Jane，’she answered.Then she went next door to fetch another servant.I could hear her whispers.

“是的，你在紅房子里病倒了，不過你會好起來的，別擔(dān)心，簡小姐。”她答道，然后到隔壁屋里叫來了另一個仆人，我能聽得到她悄悄的說話聲。

’Sarah，come in here and sleep with me and that poor child tonight.I daren’t stay alone with her，she might die.She was so ill last night!Do you think she saw a ghost?Mrs Reed was too hard on her，I think.’So the two servants slept in my room，while I lay awake all night，trembling with fear，and eyes wide open in horror，imagining ghosts in every corner.

“莎拉，今晚到這兒來陪我和這個小可憐一起睡。我不敢單獨陪她，她可能會死的，昨晚她病得很厲害。你認(rèn)為她看到鬼了嗎?我覺得里德太太待她太狠了。”于是，兩個仆人睡在了我的房里。我躺著一夜不曾合眼，渾身驚恐地打顫，兩眼因害怕睜得大大的，想象著每個角落里都有鬼魂。

Fortunately I suffered no serious illness as a result of my terrible experience in the red room，although I shall never forget that night.But the shock left me nervous and depressed for the next few days.I cried all day long and although Bessie tried hard to tempt me with nice things to eat or my favourite books，I took no pleasure in eating or even in reading.I knew I had no one to love me and nothing to look forward to.

幸運的是，我沒有因紅房子里的可怕經(jīng)歷而害一場大病，但我永遠(yuǎn)忘不了那個晚上。后來的幾天里，由于驚嚇我變得非常緊張和憂郁，整天哭泣著。盡管貝茜想盡辦法用好吃的和我喜歡的書吸引我，我卻不愿意吃東西，甚至不想讀書。我知道沒有人愛我，沒什么可指望的。

When the doctor came again，he seemed a little surprised to find me looking so miserable.

醫(yī)生又來了，他看到我痛苦的樣子感到很吃驚。

’Perhaps she’s crying because she couldn’t go out with Mrs Reed in the carriage this morning，’suggested Bessie.

“她哭，也許是因為今天早晨不能和里德太太一起坐馬車。”貝茜猜測著。

’Surely she’s more sensible than that，’said the doctor，smiling at me.’She’s a big girl now.’

“她比這懂事得多，”醫(yī)生邊說邊沖我笑著。“她已經(jīng)是大孩子了。”

’I’m not crying about that.I hate going out in the carriage.’I said quickly.’I’m crying because I’m miserable.’

“我不是因為這個哭。我討厭坐馬車出門。”我馬上說。“我哭是因為我很痛苦。”

’Oh really，Miss!’said Bessie.

“噢，真的嗎，小姐?”貝茜說。

The doctor looked at me thoughtfully.He had small，grey，intelligent eyes.Just then a bell rang for the servants’dinner.

醫(yī)生關(guān)切地看著我，他那雙灰色的小眼睛充滿智慧。這時鈴響了，叫仆人們?nèi)コ燥垺?/p>

’You can go，Bessie，’he said.’I’ll stay here talking to Miss Jane till you come back.’

“貝茜，你可以走了，”他說，“我在這兒和簡小姐說話，等你回來。”

After Bessie had left，he asked，’What really made you ill?’

等貝茜走后，他問：“你究竟是怎么病的?”

’I was locked up in a room with a ghost，in the dark.’

“我被關(guān)在有鬼的黑房子里。”

’Afraid of ghosts，are you?’he smiled.

他笑了：“怕鬼，是嗎?”

’Of Mr Reed’s ghost，yes.He died in that room，you know.Nobody ever goes in there any more.It was cruel to lock me in there alone without a candle.I shall never forget it!’

“是的，怕里德先生的鬼魂。你知道，他是在那間屋里去世的，誰都不再進去。把我單獨關(guān)在里面，又不點蠟燭，真是太殘酷了，我永遠(yuǎn)忘不了!”

’But you aren’t afraid now.There must be another reason why you are so sad，’he said，looking kindly at me.

“可是你現(xiàn)在并不怕呀!你這么難過一定另有原因。”他說著，和藹地看著我。

How could I tell him all the reasons for my unhappiness!

我怎么能向他訴說什么讓我難過呢!

’I have no father or mother，brothers or sisters，’I began.

“我沒有父親、母親，也沒有兄弟、姐妹，”我說。

’But you have a kind aunt and cousins.’

“可是你有好心的舅媽和表兄妹呀。”

’But John Reed knocked me down and my aunt locked me in the red room，’I cried.There was a pause.

“但是，是約翰·里德把我打倒的，是舅媽把我關(guān)起來的。”我哭了，無法再說下去。

’Don’t you like living at Gateshead，in such a beautiful house?’he asked.

“你不喜歡住在蓋茨赫德、住在這么漂亮的大房子里嗎?”他問。

’I would be glad to leave it，but I have nowhere else to go.’

“我很樂意離開這里，但是無處可去。”

’You have no relations apart from Mrs Reed?’

“除了里德太太，你沒有其他親戚嗎?”

’I think I may have some，who are very poor，but I know nothing about them，’I answered.

“也許有幾個，都很窮，但我對他們一無所知。”我答道。

’Would you like to go to school?’he asked finally.I thought for a moment.I knew very little about school，but at least it would be a change，the start of a new life.

他最后問：“你想上學(xué)嗎?”我想了一會兒。我對學(xué)校幾乎根本不了解，但那至少是個變化，是新生活的開始。

’Yes，I would like to go，’I replied in the end.

我最后說：“是的，我想上學(xué)。”

’Well，well，’said the doctor to himself as he got up，’we’ll see.The child is delicate，she ought to have a change of air.’

“好了，好了，”醫(yī)生自言自語著站了起來。“我們想想辦法。孩子太脆弱了，她該透透氣了。”

I heard later from the servants that he had spoken to Mrs Reed about me，and that she had agreed immediately to send me to school.Abbott said Mrs Reed would be glad to get rid of me.In this conversation I also learned for the first time that my father had been a poor vicar.When he married my mother，Miss Jane Reed of Gateshead，the Reed family were so angry that they disinherited her.I also heard that my parents both died of an illness only a year after their wedding.

后來我從仆人那兒聽說，他和里德太太談了我的事，她立刻就答應(yīng)送我去學(xué)校。阿伯特說里德太太把我打發(fā)走了才高興呢。談話中我還生平第一次得知我的父親曾是個窮牧師。他和媽媽——蓋茨赫德的簡·里德小姐——結(jié)婚時，里德一家非常生氣，取消了她的繼承權(quán)。我還得知我的父母在結(jié)婚一年后就雙雙因病去世。

But days and weeks passed，and Mrs Reed still said nothing about sending me to school.One day，as she was scolding me，I suddenly threw a question at her.The words just came out without my planning to say them.

時間一天天、一星期一星期地過去了，可是里德太太還是不提送我上學(xué)的事。一天，她訓(xùn)斥我時，我冷不防向她提了個問題。我事先并無準(zhǔn)備，話就這么從我嘴里溜出來了。

’What would uncle Reed say to you if he were alive?’I asked.

“如果里德先生活著，他會怎么說?”我問。

’What?’cried Mrs Reed，her cold grey eyes full of fear，staring at me as if I were a ghost.I had to continue.

“什么?”里德太太叫道，她冷漠的灰眼睛充滿恐懼地盯著我，好像我是個鬼。我必須接著說下去。

’My uncle Reed is now in heaven，and can see all you think and do，and so can my parents.They know how you hate me，and are cruel to me.’

“我的里德舅舅現(xiàn)在在天堂，可以知道你所想的和你干的事，我父母也知道。他們知道你多么恨我，對我多么殘忍。”

Mrs Reed smacked my face and left me without a word.I was scolded for an hour by Bessie as the most ungrateful child in the world，and indeed with so much hate in my heart I did feel wicked.

里德太太給了我一個耳光，一言不發(fā)地走開了。貝茜訓(xùn)了我一個鐘頭，說我是世界上最不感恩的孩子。的確，我心中充滿仇恨，連自己都覺得自己壞。

Christmas passed by，with no presents or new clothes for me.Every evening I watched Eliza and Georgiana putting on their new dresses and going out to parties Sometimes Bessie would come up to me in my lonely bedroom，bringing a piece of cake，sometimes she would tell me a story，and sometimes she would kiss me goodnight.When she was kind to me I thought she was the best person in the world，but she did not always have time for me.

圣誕節(jié)過去了，我沒有禮物，也沒有新衣服。每天晚上，我都看著伊麗莎和喬治娜換上新裙子去參加舞會。貝茜有時到我孤零零的臥室來，帶塊蛋糕或講個故事，有時吻吻我，與我道晚安。她對我好時，我覺得她是世界上最好的人，但她不是總有時間陪我。

On the morning of the fifteenth of January，Bessie rushed up to my room，to tell me a visitor wanted to see me.Who could it be?I knew Mrs Reed would be there too and I was frightened of seeing her again.When I nervously entered the breakfast-room I looked up at a black column!At least that was what he looked like to me.He was a tall，thin man dressed all in black，with a cold，stony face at the top of the column.

1月15日早晨，貝茜跑到我的房間里，說有個客人要見我。是誰呢?我知道里德太太也會在場，我怕再見到她。我害怕地走進早餐室，抬起頭來，看到的是一根黑柱子!至少，在我看來他的模樣就是這樣。他又高又瘦，身穿黑衣，上端是一張冰冷、僵硬的臉。

’This is the little girl I wrote to you about，’said Mrs Reed to the stony stranger.

“這就是我信中提到的女孩。”里德太太對冷冰冰的陌生人說。

’Well，Jane Eyre，’said the stranger heavily，’and are you a good child?’

“啊，簡·愛，”陌生人低沉地說，“你是個好孩子嗎?”

It was impossible to say yes，with Mrs Reed sitting there，so I was silent.

里德太太坐在那里，我不可能答“是”，于是只好沉默。

’Perhaps the less said about that，the better，Mr Brocklehurst，’said Mrs Reed，shaking her head.

“布魯克赫斯特先生，這點最好少提。”里德太太邊說邊搖頭。

’I’m sorry to hear it，he answered.’Come here.Jane Eyre，and answer my questions.Where do the wicked go after death?’

“真遺憾。”他說。“簡·愛，到這兒來回答我的問題。壞人死后去哪里?”

’They go to hell，’I answered.

“進地獄。”我答道。

’And what must you do to avoid going there?’he asked.

“你應(yīng)該做什么才能不進地獄呢?”他問。

I thought for a moment，but could not find the right answer.

我想了想，但找不到正確的答案。

’I must keep in good health，and not die，’I replied.

“我必須保持健康，不要死去。”我答道。

’Wrong!Children younger than you die all the time.Another question.Do you enjoy reading the Bible?’

“不對，隨時都有比你還小的孩子死去。另一個問題，你喜歡讀《圣經(jīng)》嗎?”

’Yes，sometimes，’I replied，hesitating.

“是的，有時喜歡。”我猶豫著答道。

’That is not enough.Your answers show me you have a wicked heart.You must pray to God to change it，if you ever want to go to heaven.’

“這還不夠，你的回答表明你有顆邪惡的心。如果你想進天堂，你就要向上帝祈禱改變它。”

’Mr Brocklehurst，’interrupted Mrs Reed，’I mentioned to you in my letter that this little girl has in fact a very bad character.If you accept her at Lowood school，please make sure that the headmistress and teachers know how dishonest she is.She will try to lie to them of course.You see，Jane，you cannot try your tricks on Mr Brocklehurst.’

里德太太打斷他說：“布魯克赫斯特先生，我在信中已向你說起這孩子性情很壞。如果你收她進洛伍德學(xué)校，就得讓所有女學(xué)監(jiān)和教師知道她有多么不老實，她肯定會對她們?nèi)鲋e。簡，你瞧!你不能在布魯克赫斯特先生那兒?；ㄕ?。”

However hard I had tried to please Mrs Reed in the past，she always thought the worst of me.It was not surprising that I had come to hate her.Now she was accusing me in front of a stranger.My hopes of starting a new life at school began to fade.

無論過去我下了多大功夫取悅里德太太，她總是往最壞里想我。我變得這么恨她也就沒什么奇怪的了?，F(xiàn)在她又當(dāng)著生人的面指責(zé)我，我到學(xué)校開始新生活的愿望開始破滅了。

’Do not worry，madam，’Mr Brocklehurst said，’the teachers will watch her carefully.Life at Lowood will do her good.We believe in hard work，plain food，simple clothes and no luxury of any kind.’

“太太，不必?fù)?dān)心。”布魯克赫斯特先生說。“教師們會嚴(yán)密監(jiān)督她，洛伍德的生活對她有好處。我們信仰的是刻苦耐勞、節(jié)衣簡食，無任何奢侈可言。”

’I will send her as soon as possible then，Mr Brocklehurst.I hope she will be taught according to her low position in life.’

“布魯克赫斯特先生，我會盡快把她送去。我希望你們能根據(jù)她的低下身份教導(dǎo)她。”

’Indeed she will，madam.I hope she will be grateful for this opportunity to improve her character.Little girl，read this book.It tells the story of the sudden death of a young girl who was a liar.Read and pray.’

“的確是這樣，太太。我希望她能為得到改造其品性的機會而表示感激。小姑娘，讀讀這本書，其中講的是一個撒謊的女孩突然死去的故事。讀吧，祈禱吧!”

After Mr Brocklehurst had given me the book and left，I felt I had to speak.Anger was boiling up inside me.I walked up to Mrs Reed and looked straight into her eyes.

布魯克赫斯特先生把書遞給我，然后走了。我覺得我必須說話，怒火在我胸中燃燒。我走到里德太太面前，直盯著她的眼睛。

’I do not deceive people!If I told lies，I would say I loved you!But I don’t，I hate you!I will never call you aunt again as long as I live.If anyone asks how you treated me，I will tell them the truth，that you were very cruel to me.People think you are a good woman，but you are lying to them!’

“我不騙人。如果我真的撒謊，我會說我愛你!可是，我不愛你，我恨你!只要我活著，我不會再叫你舅媽。如果有人問我你是怎么待我的，我會以實相告，告訴他們你待我很兇。大家都把你當(dāng)好人，可是你卻在騙他們。”

Even before I had finished I began to experience a great feeling of freedom and relief.At last I had said what I felt!Mrs Reed looked frightened and unhappy.

話還沒說完，我就已經(jīng)感到無比輕松和自由，我終于說出了我的感受。里德太太看上去既害怕又難受。

’Jane，I want to be your friend.You don’t know what you’re saying.You are too excited.Go to your room and lie down.’

“簡，我想做你的朋友，你不明白你都說了些什么。你太激動了，回房里躺下歇會兒吧。”

’I won’t lie down.I’m quite calm.Send me to school soon，Mrs Reed.I hate living here.’

“我不躺下，我很冷靜。里德太太，快把我送去上學(xué)，我討厭住在這里。”

’I will indeed send her soon，’murmured Mrs Reed to herself.

里德太太自語道：“我是得盡快讓她走。”