牛津書蟲系列 簡愛 chapter 1

Part One A child at Gateshead 1 The red room

第一部 蓋茨赫德的孩子 1 紅房子

We could not go for a walk that afternoon.There was such a freezing cold wind，and such heavy rain，that we all stayed indoors.I was glad of it.I never liked long walks，especially in winter.I used to hate coming home when it was almost dark，with ice-cold fingers and toes，feeling miserable bccause Bessie，the nursemaid，was always scolding me.All the time I knew I was different from my cousins，Eliza，John and Georgiana Reed.They were taller and stronger than me，and they were loved.

那天下午，我們不能出去散步。寒風(fēng)刺骨，大雨瓢潑，大家都待在家里，我倒是因此感到高興。我從來不喜歡走長路，特別是在冬天。過去我最討厭回到家時天色已暗，手腳冰涼，女仆貝茜總是訓(xùn)斥我而使我痛苦不堪。無論何時我都懂得我和我的表兄妹——里德家的伊麗莎、約翰和喬治娜不一樣。他們不僅比我高大、強壯，而且還受寵。

These three usually spent their time crying and quarrelling，but today they were sitting quietly around their mother in the sitting-room.I wanted to join the family circle，but Mrs Reed，my aunt，refused Bessie had complainted about me.

這三個人常常吵鬧不休，但今天卻和媽媽一起靜靜地坐在起居室里。我也想?yún)⒓舆M去，可我的舅媽里德太太不允許。貝茜告了我的狀。

’No，I’m sorry，Jane.Until I hear from Bessie，or see for myself，that you are really trying to behave better，you cannot be treated as a good，happy child，like my children.’

“對不起，簡。如果不聽到貝茜說或是由我親眼看到你的確努力要學(xué)好，你就不能像我的孩子那樣，被當(dāng)成是快樂的好孩子。”

’What does Bessie say I have done?’I asked.

“貝茜說我干什么了?”我問。

’Jane，it is not polite to question me in that way.If you cannot speak pleasantly，be quiet.’

“簡，這樣問我是不禮貌的。如果你不能好好講話，就閉嘴。”

I crept out of the sitting-room and into the small room next door，where I chose a book full of pictures from the bookcase. I climbed on to the window-seat and drew the curtains，so that I was completely hidden.I sat there for a while.Sometimes I looked out of the window at the grey November afternoon，and saw the rain pouring down on the leafless garden.But most of the time I studied the book and stared，fascinated，at the pictures.Lost in the world of imagination，I forgot my sad，lonely existence for a while，and was happy，I was only afraid that my secret hiding-place might be discovered.

我悄悄退出起居室，走進隔壁的小房間，從書架上選了一本圖畫書。我爬上窗臺，拉好窗簾，把自己整個藏了起來。我坐了一會兒，時而望望窗外。11月的午后天氣陰沉，大雨傾瀉在禿枝枯葉的花園里。不過大部分時候，我認(rèn)真讀著書，完全被書中的圖畫吸引住了。我沉浸在想像的世界中，暫時忘掉了傷心和孤單，只感到快活。我唯一擔(dān)心的就是我的秘密藏身處可能會被發(fā)現(xiàn)。

Suddenly the door of the room opened.John Reed rushed in.

突然，門開了，約翰·里德沖了進來。

’Where are you，rat?’he shouted.He did not see me behind the curtain.’Eliza!Georgy!Jane isn’t here!Tell Mamma she’s run out into the rain—what a bad animal she is!’

“老鼠，你在哪兒?”他叫著，沒有看到窗簾后面的我。“伊麗莎!喬吉!簡不在這兒!告訴媽媽她跑出去淋雨了。真是個畜生!”

’How lucky I drew the curtain，’I thought.He would never have found me，because he was not very intelligent.But Eliza guessed at once where I was.

“幸好我拉上了窗簾，”我心想。他永遠(yuǎn)找不到我，因為他并不聰明?？墒?，伊麗莎一下子就猜出了我在哪里。

’She’s in the window-seat，John，’she called from the sitting-room.So I came out immediately，as I did not want him to pull me out.

“約翰，她坐在窗臺上。”她在起居室喊道。于是，我趕緊走了出來，因為我不愿意他來拽我。

’What do you want?’I asked him.

“你想怎樣?”我問道。

’Say，“What do you want，Master Reed”，’he answered，sitting in an armchair.’I want you to come here.’

“說’里德主人，您想要什么’，”他坐在椅子子說。“我要你過來。”

John Reed was fourteen and I was only ten.He was large and rather fat.He usually ate too much at meals，which made him ill.He should have been at boarding school，but his mother，who loved him very much，had brought him home for a month or two，because she thought his health was delicate.

約翰·里德已經(jīng)14歲了，而我只有10歲。他長得又高又胖，常常狼吞虎咽吃得太多，以致鬧玻他本該上寄宿學(xué)校的，可是他媽媽太寵他，把他接回家一兩個月，因為她覺得他身體弱。

John did not love his mother or his sister，and he hated me He bullied and punished me，not two or three times a week，not once or twice a day，but all the time.My whole body trembled when he came near.Sometimes he hit me，sometimes he just threatened me，and I lived in terrible fear of him.I had no idea about how to stop him.The servants did not want to offend their young master，and Mrs Reed could see no fault in her dear boy.

約翰既不喜歡他的母親，也不喜歡他的妹妹，對我更只有恨。他欺侮我，懲罰我，不是一星期兩三次，也不是一天里一兩次，而是隨時隨地。他一靠近，我就渾身打顫。他有時打我，有時嚇唬我，我整天生活在對他的恐懼中，我根本不知道如何阻止他。仆人們不愿得罪他們的小主人，而里德太太根本看不到她的心肝寶貝會有什么錯。

So I obeyed John’s order and approached his armchair，thinking how very ugly his face was.Perhaps he understood what I was thinking，for he hit me hard on the face.

于是，我服從了約翰的命令，走向他坐的椅子，心想他那張臉真是丑極了?？赡芩闯隽宋业男乃迹檬种刂氐卮蛟谖业哪樕?。

’That is for your rudeness to Mamma just now，’he said，’and for your wickedness in hiding，and for looking at me like that，you rat!’I was so used to his bullying that I never thought of hitting him back.

“這是罰你剛才對媽媽無禮，”他說，“罰你藏起來的鬼主意，罰你那么瞪著我，你這老鼠!”我已經(jīng)習(xí)慣了被他欺負(fù)，從沒想過要還手。

’What were you doing behind that curtain?’he asked.

“你在簾子后面干什么?”他問。

’I was reading，’I answered.

“我在讀書，”我答道。

’Show me the book.’I gave it to him.

“給我看看。”我將書遞了過去。

’You have no right to take our books，’he continued.’You have no money and your father left yor none.You ought to beg in the streets，not live here in comfort with a gentleman’s family.Aayway，all these books are mine，and so is the whole house，or will be in a few years’time.I’ll teach you not to borrow my books again.’He lifted the heavy book and threw it hard at me.

“你沒權(quán)拿我們的書。”他接著說。“你身無分文，你父親也沒給你留下一分錢。你應(yīng)該上街討飯，而不是在一位紳士家里過舒服日子。不管怎樣，這些書都是我的，幾年以后整幢房子也是我的了。我要教訓(xùn)你別再借我的書。”他舉起重重的書，狠狠地打在我身上。

It hit me and I fell，cutting my head on the door.I was in great pain，and suddenly for the first time in my life，I forgot my fear of John Reed.

我被打倒在地，頭碰在門上磕破了。我感到疼痛不堪，平生第一次突然忘記了我對約翰·里德的恐懼。

’You wicked，cruel boy!’I cried.’You are a bully!You are as bad as a murderer!’

“你這個殘忍的壞蛋!”我喊著，“你欺侮人!你像個劊子手!”

’What!What!’he cried.’Did she say that to me?Did you hear，Eliza and Georgiana?I’ll tell Mamma，but first…’

“什么!什么!”他叫嚷著，“她說我什么?伊麗莎，喬吉，你們聽到了嗎?我要告訴媽媽去，可是我先得……”

He rushed to attack me，but now he was fighting with a desperate girl.I really saw him as a wicked murderer.I felt the blood running down my face，and the pain gave me strength.I fought back as hard as I could.My resistance surprised him，and he shouted for help.His sisters ran for Mrs Reed，who called her maid，Miss Abbott，and Bessie.They pulled us apart and I heard them say，’What a wicked girl!She attacked Master John!’

他沖過來打我，不過現(xiàn)在他的對手是一個絕望的女孩子。我真的覺得他是個劊子手壞蛋。我感到血從臉上流下來，疼痛給了我力量，我使出全力還手了。我的反抗嚇了他一跳，他大聲求救。他的妹妹們跑去叫里德太太，里德太太又叫上了仆人阿伯特小姐和貝茜。她們把我們拉開，我聽到她們說：“多壞的小丫頭!她竟打了約翰主人!”

Mrs Reed said calmly，’Take her away to the red room and lock her in there.’And so I was carried upstairs，arms waving and legs kicking.

里德太太平靜地說：“把她帶到紅房子里鎖起來。”于是手腳并用、極力掙扎的我被抱到了樓上。

As soon as we arrived in the red room，I became quiet again，and the two servants both started scolding me.

一進紅房子，我又安靜下來，兩個仆人開始訓(xùn)斥我。

’Really，Miss Eyre，’said Miss Abbott，’how could you hit him?He’s your young master!’

“說真的，愛小姐，”阿伯特小姐說，“你怎么能打他呢?他是你的小主人啊!”

’How can he be my master?I am not a servant!’I cried.

“他怎么是我的主人?我又不是仆人!”我喊道。

’No，Miss Eyre，you are less than a servant，because you do not work，replied Miss Abbott.They both looked at me as if they strongly disapproved of me.

“不，愛小姐。你連仆人都不如，因為你不干活。”阿伯特小姐答道。她們都瞪著我，好像很不贊同我。

’You should remember，miss，’said Bessie，’that your aunt pays for your food and clothes，and you should be grateful.You have no other relations or friends.’

“小姐，你應(yīng)該記住，”貝茜說，“你的舅媽負(fù)擔(dān)你的衣食，你應(yīng)該感恩才對。你再沒有其他親戚朋友了。”

All my short life I had been told this，and I had no answer to it.I stayed silent，listening to these painful reminders.

在我短短的一生中，總是聽到這樣的活，而我又無以對答。我沉默著，痛苦地聽著她們的提醒。

’And if you are angry and rude，Mrs Reed may send you away，’added Bessie.

“如果你生氣、粗魯?shù)脑挘锏绿赡軙涯闼妥摺?rdquo;貝茜又說。

’Anyway，’said Miss Abbott，’God will punish you，Jane Eyre，for your wicked heart.Pray to God，and say you’re sorry.’They left the room，locking the door carefully behind them.

阿伯特小姐說：“不管怎樣，上帝會懲罰你這顆邪惡的心的，簡·愛。向上帝祈禱，說你抱歉。”她們把門仔細(xì)鎖好，然后走了。

The red room was a cold，silent room，hardly ever used，although it was one of the largest bedrooms in the house.Nine years ago，my uncle，Mr Reed，had died in this room，and since then nobody had wanted to sleep in it.

紅房子陰冷、寂靜，盡管是最大的臥室之一，卻很少使用。九年前，我舅舅里德先生就死在這里。從此，沒人再愿睡在里面了。

Now that I was alone I thought bitterly of the people I lived with.John Reed，his sisters，his mother，the servants，they all accused me，scolded me，hated me.Why could I never please them?Eliza was selfish，but was respected.Georgiana had a bad temper，but she was popular with everybody because she was beautiful John was rude，cruel and violent，but nobody punished him.I tried to make no mistakes，but they called me，naughty every moment of the day.Now that I had turned against John to protect myself，everybody blamed me.

我孤單單的，心里痛苦地思量著和我一起生活的這些人。約翰·里德，他的妹妹們，他的母親，仆人——他們所有的人都指責(zé)我、訓(xùn)斥我、恨我。為什么我總不能讓他們高興呢?伊麗莎自私，卻得到尊重。喬治娜脾氣壞卻人人喜歡，因為她長得漂亮。約翰粗魯、殘忍、兇暴，卻沒人懲罰他。我盡量不犯錯誤，可他們每時每刻都說我搗亂?，F(xiàn)在我為了保護自己反抗了約翰，更成了眾矢之的。

And so I spent that whole long afternoon in the red room asking myself why I had to suffer and why life was so unfair.Perhaps I would run away，or starve myself to death.

整整一個漫長的下午，我都待在紅房子里問自己，為什么我非得受苦，為什么生活如此不公平。也許我應(yīng)該跑掉或干脆餓死。

Gradually it became dark outside.The rain was still beating on the windows，and I could hear the wind in the trees.Now I was no longer angry，and I began to think the Reeds might be right.Perhaps I was wicked.Did I deserve to die，and be buried in the churchyard like my uncle Reed?I could not remember him，but knew he was my mother’s brother，who had taken me to his house when my parents both died.On his death bed he had made his wife，aunt Reed，promise to look after me like her own children.I supposed she now regretted her promise.

天漸漸黑了，雨點仍然拍打著窗戶，還可以聽到風(fēng)在樹枝間呼嘯。我已經(jīng)不生氣了，甚至開始覺得也許里德一家是對的。也許我真的挺壞，我是不是應(yīng)該死，然后像里德舅舅一樣被埋在教堂的院子里?我已記不起他了，但我知道他是我媽媽的哥哥。我雙親過世后，他收留了我。臨死前，他要妻子里德太太保證像照顧自己的孩子一樣照顧我。我想她現(xiàn)在后悔自己的許諾了。

A strange idea came to me.I felt sure that if Mr Reed had lived he would have treated me kindly，and now，as I looked round at the dark furniture and the walls in shadow，I began to fear that his ghost might come back to punish his wife for not keeping her promise.He might rise from the grave in the churchyard and appear in this room!I was so frightened by this thought that I hardly dared to breathe.Suddenly in the darkness I saw a light moving on the ceiling.It may have been from a lamp outside，but in my nervous state I did not think of that.I felt sure it must be a ghost，a visitor from another world.My head was hot，my heart beat fast.Was that the sound of wings in my ears?Was that something moving near me?Screaming wildly，I rushed to the door and shook it.Miss Abbott and Bessie came running to open it.

我產(chǎn)生了一個怪念頭。我能肯定如果里德先生仍在世，他會好好待我的。現(xiàn)在我環(huán)顧黑暗中的家具和墻壁，開始害怕他的鬼魂會回來因他的妻子不能信守諾言而懲罰她。他可能從教堂院子里的墳?zāi)棺叱鰜恚霈F(xiàn)在這間屋里!我被這念頭嚇壞了，連氣都不敢喘。突然，黑暗中我看到一道光閃過屋頂，可能是外面的燈光，可我在驚恐之中，沒想到這些。我覺得那一定是鬼魂，是來自另一個世界的人。我的頭脹起來，心狂跳不已。我耳朵聽到的是不是翅膀的聲音?是不是有什么東西在靠近我?我尖叫著沖到門口，使勁地?fù)u門，阿伯特小姐和貝茜趕緊跑來開門。

’Miss Eyre，are you ill?’asked Bessie.

“愛小姐，你病了嗎?”貝茜問。

’Take me out of here!’I screamed.

“把我放出去!”我尖叫著。

’Why?What’s the matter?’she asked.

“為什么?怎么了?”她問。

’I saw a light，and I thought it was a ghost，’I cried，holding tightly on to Bessie’s hand.

“我看到一道光，我覺得那是鬼。”我哭著緊緊抓住貝茜的手。

’She’s not even hurt，’said Miss Abbott in disgust.’She screamed just to bring us here.I know all her little tricks.’

“她連傷都沒有，”阿伯特小姐厭惡地說。“她叫喊就是要我們來。我知道她的小把戲。”

’What is all this?’demanded an angry voice.Mrs Reed appeared at the door of the room.’Abbott and Bessie，I think I told you to leave Jane Eyre in this room till I came.’

“這是怎么了?”一個聲音憤怒地問。里德太太出現(xiàn)在門口。“阿伯特，貝茜，我不是告訴你們我來之前讓簡待在這屋子里嗎?”

’She screamed so loudly，ma’am，’said Bessie softly.

“太太，她叫得太兇了，”貝茜輕聲說。

’Let go off her hands，Bessie，’was Mrs Reed’s only answer.’Jane Eyre，you need not think you can succeed in getting out of the room like this.Your naughty tricks will not work with me.You will stay here an hour longer as a punishment for trying to deceive us.’

“貝茜，讓她松開手，”里德太太答道。“簡·愛，你別以為這樣就可以離開這屋子，你的搗蛋把戲?qū)ξ倚胁煌?。你再在這里關(guān)一個鐘頭，罰你企圖欺騙我們。”

’Oh aunt，please forgive me!I can’t bear it!I shall die if you keep me here…’I screamed and kicked as she held me.

“噢，舅媽，請原諒我!我受不了!你把我關(guān)在這兒，我會死的……”我尖叫著，在她手中掙扎著。

’Silence!Control yourself!’She pushed me，resisting wildly，back into the red room and locked me in.There I was in the darkness again，with the silence and the ghosts.I must have fainted.I cannot remember anything more.

“安靜!自制一點兒!”她把拼命反抗的我又推進房間里鎖了起來。我重新陷入了黑暗，伴著寂靜和鬼魂。我一定是昏過去了，其他的什么也記不起來了。