致命的大錯(cuò)
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
"Qualifications: No education or experience."
"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
"Fired because I fought for lower pay."
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6"5" .
" "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word "paranoia." I prefer toelaborate privately."
打字錯(cuò)誤與語法錯(cuò)誤
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line ofwork."
"Accounting cleric."
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
"Suspected to graduate early next year."
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
不應(yīng)有的幽默
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-pacedsetting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)
"But wait...there"s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing thatis second nature."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
"My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job"-and I like your companyin particular."
"Title: Another resume from the "Profiles in Excellence" series."
"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."
"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."
"Let"s meet so you can "ooh" and "ahh" over my experience."(
瘋狂英語 英語語法 新概念英語 走遍美國 四級(jí)聽力 英語音標(biāo) 英語入門 發(fā)音 美語 四級(jí) 新東方 七年級(jí) 賴世雄 zero是什么意思西安市府東小區(qū)英語學(xué)習(xí)交流群