散文佳作108篇 第81期:Luck 好運(yùn)氣

好運(yùn)氣

Mark Twain

馬克·吐溫

I was at a dinner in London given in honor of one of the most celebrated English military menof his time. I do not want to tell you his real name and titles. I will just call him LieutenantGeneral Lord Arthur Scoresby. I cannot describe my excitement when I saw this great andfamous man. There he sat, the man himself, in person, all covered with medals. I could not takemy eyes off him. He seemed to show the true mark of greatness. His fame had no effect onhim. The hundreds of eyes watching him, the worship of so many people did not seem to makeany difference to him.

事情發(fā)生在倫敦的一次宴會(huì)上。這次宴會(huì)是為當(dāng)代英國(guó)威名顯赫的兩三位軍事將領(lǐng)之一舉行的。由于下面即將說(shuō)明的原因，我將不提他的真實(shí)姓名和各種頭銜。我將稱他為陸軍中將阿瑟·斯考茲比勛爵、皇家護(hù)衛(wèi)騎士、巴斯爵士，等等，等等，等等。鼎鼎大名的人物具有多大的魅力130年前他在克里米亞戰(zhàn)役中嶄露頭角，名聲大噪，歷久不衰。從那時(shí)以后我曾無(wú)數(shù)次聽見人們談到他，而此刻他本人就坐在那兒。我盯著這位半神半人似的人物，看呀，看呀，看呀，好像這就是我的美酒佳肴。我注視著他，搜尋他的一切特點(diǎn)并默記在心：他的面部表情安詳、矜持、高貴、嚴(yán)肅;他的氣質(zhì)中具有樸素、誠(chéng)實(shí)的品格，這是一眼就看得出的;他對(duì)自己的豐功偉績(jī)雖然躊躇滿志，但卻不露聲色——好像不知道成百雙充滿崇敬之情的眼睛正注視著他;好像不知道出自人們內(nèi)心的一股深厚的愛慕之情，一種真誠(chéng)的崇拜，正朝他涌來(lái)。

Next to me sat a clergyman, who was an old friend of mine. He was not always a clergyman.During the first half of his life he was a teacher in the military school at Woolwich. There was astrange look in his eye as he leaned toward me and whispered – "Privately – he is a completefool." He meant, of course, the hero of our dinner.

坐在我左邊的牧師是我的老相識(shí)。他現(xiàn)在是牧師，可前半輩子卻是在戎馬生涯中度過(guò)的，而且還當(dāng)過(guò)伍立奇軍事學(xué)校的教官。就在我剛談到的這個(gè)時(shí)刻，他眼中隱隱約約閃現(xiàn)出一種十分離奇的目光，一邊用手勢(shì)指著宴會(huì)上的那位英雄，一邊俯過(guò)頭來(lái)輕輕地，但卻是滿有把握地對(duì)我說(shuō)：“私下說(shuō)說(shuō)一他是個(gè)頭號(hào)大傻瓜。”

This came as a shock to me. I looked hard at him. I could not have been more surprised if hehas said the same thing about Nepoleon, or Socrates, or Solomon. But I was sure of two thingsabout the clergyman. He always spoke the truth. And, his judgment of men was good.Therefore, I wanted to find out more about our hero as soon as I could.

這個(gè)評(píng)語(yǔ)使我大吃一驚。如果他說(shuō)的是拿破侖、蘇格拉底或是所羅門，我也不會(huì)感到更驚奇了。有兩點(diǎn)我是清楚的：這位牧師說(shuō)話句句真實(shí)可靠;而且他很有知人之明。因此我斷定，毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)，世人是錯(cuò)看了這位英雄：他的確是個(gè)傻瓜。于是我就想在方便的時(shí)候向這位孤身獨(dú)處的牧師問(wèn)清楚，他是怎樣發(fā)現(xiàn)這個(gè)秘密的。

Some days later I got a chance to talk with the clergyman, and he told me more. These are hisexact words:

過(guò)了些日子，機(jī)會(huì)來(lái)到了，下面就是這位牧師告訴我的話：

About forty years ago, I was an instructor in the military academy at Woolwich, when youngScoresby was given his first examination. I felt extremely sorry for him. Everybody answeredthe questions well, intelligently, while he – why, dear me – he did not know anything, so tospeak. He was a nice, pleasant young man. It was painful to see him stand there and giveanswers that were miracles of stupidity.I knew of course that when examined again he wouldfail and be thrown out. So, I said to myself, it would be a simple, harmless act to help him asmuch as I could. I took him aside and found he knew a little about Julius Ceasar's history. But,he did not know anything else. So, I went to work and tested him and worked him like a slave. Imade him work, over and over again, on a few questions about Ceasar, which I knew he wouldbe asked.If you will believe me, he came through very well on the day of the examination. Hegot high praise too, while others who knew a thousand times more than he were sharplycriticized. By some strange, lucky accident, he was asked no questions but those I made himstudy. Such an accident does not happen more than once in a hundred years. Well, all throughhis studies, I stood by him, with the feeling a mother has for a disabled child. And he alwayssaved himself by some miracle.

大約40年前，我在伍立奇軍事學(xué)校當(dāng)教官。年輕的斯考茲比參加初試時(shí)，我在他那個(gè)小組。班上別的學(xué)員回答問(wèn)題都很漂亮，而他一一唉，天啊，他可說(shuō)是一無(wú)所知，我的憐憫之心不禁為之大動(dòng)。誰(shuí)都看得出他是個(gè)好孩子，可親可愛，又很天真;此刻他站在那兒，呆若木雞，回答問(wèn)題時(shí)的愚昧無(wú)知真是荒謬絕倫，叫人看了十分痛心。我的憐憫心都被他激發(fā)起來(lái)了。我暗自思忖，復(fù)試時(shí)他肯定是要被刷掉的;既然如此，盡我所能來(lái)減輕他摔下來(lái)的痛苦，也就只不過(guò)是一種無(wú)害的慈悲舉動(dòng)而已。我把他叫到一旁，發(fā)現(xiàn)他還知道一點(diǎn)兒愷撒大帝的歷史，既然他別的什么也不知道，于是我就輔導(dǎo)他，逼他像奴隸船上的奴隸一樣拼命準(zhǔn)備有關(guān)愷撒大帝的一些老生常談的問(wèn)題，而我知道這些問(wèn)題是會(huì)考到的。信不信由你，考試那天他居然名列前茅!就憑這點(diǎn)兒純釋是表面功夫的“死記硬背”他過(guò)了關(guān)，而且還受到贊揚(yáng);而別人呢，雖然比他強(qiáng)一千倍，卻被淘汰了。由于某種奇妙幸運(yùn)的機(jī)遇一—這種機(jī)遇—百年也難碰到第二次，除了他準(zhǔn)備的狹窄范圍之外，沒其妙。這么說(shuō)吧，自始至終我都守護(hù)著他，我對(duì)他的感情就像一位母親對(duì)待自己的瘸腿小孩一樣;但他卻總是能從困境中自己解脫出來(lái)——明擺著全是憑奇跡。

I thought that what in the end would destroy him would be the mathematics examination. Idecided to make his end as painless as possible. So, I pushed facts into his stupid head forhours. Finally, I let him go to the examination to experience what I was sure would be hisdismissal from school. Well, sir, try to imagine the result. I was shocked out of my mind. Hetook first prize! And he got the highest praise.

當(dāng)然啰，到頭來(lái)揭穿他、要他命的還是數(shù)學(xué)。我打定主意盡量叫他死得痛快點(diǎn)兒;于是我選定了考官最可能出的題目的路子對(duì)他反反復(fù)復(fù)進(jìn)行填鴨式的硬灌，然后讓他聽天由命。您想想那結(jié)果吧：叫我大吃一驚，他居然榮獲頭獎(jiǎng)!全場(chǎng)向他熱烈鼓掌祝賀。

I felt guilty day and night – what I was doing was not right. But I only wanted to make hisdismissal a little less painful for him. I never dreamed it would lead to such strange, laughableresults. I thought that sooner or later one thing was sure to happen: The first real test once hewas through school would ruin him.

睡覺?一個(gè)星期我都睡不著。我日日夜夜受著良心的折磨。我做的這一切純粹是出于惻隱之心，只是為了讓這可憐的小伙子別摔得太慘。我做夢(mèng)也沒有想到，事情的結(jié)果竟是如此之荒唐透頂。我感到像弗蘭肯斯坦一樣有罪，難過(guò)。我讓一個(gè)呆瓜可能有機(jī)會(huì)青云直上，榮膺重任;而結(jié)局只能是：時(shí)機(jī)一到，他和他的事業(yè)前程都會(huì)一塊兒完蛋。

Then, the Crimean War broke out. I felt that sad for him that there had to be a war. Peacewould have given this donkey a chance to escape from ever being found out as being sostupid. Nervously, I waited for the worst to happen. It did. He was appointed an officer. Acaptain, of all things! Who could have dreamed that they would place such a responsibility onsuch weak shoulders as his.

克里米亞戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)這時(shí)剛剛爆發(fā)。我暗中想，當(dāng)然得有一場(chǎng)戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)。要是在和平時(shí)期，就沒有機(jī)會(huì)叫這頭蠢驢在死之前不露出本相。我等著火山爆發(fā)?；鹕焦槐l(fā)了?？墒腔鹕奖l(fā)時(shí)卻驚得我目瞪口呆。官方公報(bào)上發(fā)表他為作戰(zhàn)團(tuán)隊(duì)的一名上尉!比他強(qiáng)的人服役到老，頭發(fā)都灰白了，才能爬到這樣高的位置誰(shuí)又預(yù)料得到他們竟會(huì)把責(zé)任如此重大的一副擔(dān)子放在這樣稚嫩而不堪勝任的肩膀上?要是他們叫他當(dāng)一名扛大旗的軍士，我還勉強(qiáng)受得了;可是叫他當(dāng)上尉一想想看!這真把我嚇了個(gè)半死。

I said to myself that I was responsible to the country for this. I must go with him and protectthe nation against him as far as I could. So, I joined up with him. And anyway we went to thefield.

我是個(gè)愛好安逸、不好活動(dòng)的人，可是想想看我干了件什么事。我自思自想，這件事我要對(duì)國(guó)家負(fù)責(zé)，我一定得跟他一起去盡我所能保護(hù)國(guó)家不受他的禍害。于是我拿出歷年辛辛苦苦工作、點(diǎn)點(diǎn)滴滴節(jié)省下來(lái)的一點(diǎn)積蓄，嘆了口氣，跑到他那個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)買了個(gè)扛大旗的差使，跟部隊(duì)一起開赴戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)。

And there – oh dear, it was terrible. Mistakes, fearful mistakes – why, he never did anythingthat was right – nothing but mistakes. But, you see, nobody knew the secret of how stupid hereally was. Everybody misunderstood his actions. They saw his stupid mistakes as works ofgreat intelligence. They did, honestly! His smallest mistakes made a man in his right mind cry,and shout and scream too – to himself, of course. And what kept me in a continual fear wasthe fact that every mistake he made increased his glory and fame. I kept saying to myself thatwhen at last they found out about him, it will be like the sun falling out of the sky.

哎喲喲，真可怕。犯錯(cuò)誤?——他可只會(huì)犯錯(cuò)誤，別的什么也干不出來(lái)。但是你得明白，這家伙的秘密誰(shuí)也沒窺破過(guò)。大伙兒都錯(cuò)看了他，并且對(duì)他的所作所為每次都必然做出錯(cuò)誤的解釋。結(jié)果是，他們把這個(gè)白癡所犯的大錯(cuò)竟然當(dāng)成是天才的杰作。我一點(diǎn)也不瞎說(shuō)，他們就是這樣胡搞的!他最微小的錯(cuò)誤也足夠叫一個(gè)頭腦清醒的人大喊起來(lái);這些錯(cuò)誤的確叫我大喊起來(lái)——這叫我私下里大發(fā)雷霆、破口大罵。老是使我直冒冷汗的是，每次他犯下一個(gè)新的錯(cuò)誤，他的英名就愈加大放異彩!我不斷地對(duì)自己說(shuō)，他這樣青云直上，、有朝一日真相揭穿的時(shí)候，那會(huì)像太陽(yáng)從天上掉下來(lái)。

He continued to climb up, over the dead bodies of his superiors. Then, in the hottest momentof one battle down went our colonel. My heart jumped into my mouth, for Scoresby was thenext in line to take his place. Now, we are in for it, I said…

他的上級(jí)不斷陣亡，他也就踏著他們的尸體步步高升。最后，在某戰(zhàn)役最熾烈的時(shí)刻，我們的上校也犧牲了。我嚇得心都快從口里跳出來(lái)了，因?yàn)樗箍计澅仁堑诙娿曌罡叩能姽?瞧吧，我說(shuō)，不到十分鐘咱們?nèi)嫉玫降鬲z里報(bào)到，沒錯(cuò)。

The battle grew hotter. The English and their allies were steadily retreating all over the field. Ourregiment occupied a position that was extremely important. One mistake now would bringtotal disaster. And what did Scoresby do this time – he just mistook his left hand for his righthand…that was all. An order came for him to fall back and support our right. Instead, he movedforward and went over the hill to the left. We were over the hill before this insane movementcould be discovered and stopped. And what did we find? A large and unsuspected Russian armywaiting! And what happened – were we all killed? That is exactly what would have happened inninety-nine cases out of a hundred. But no – those surprised Russians thought that no oneregiment by itself would come around there at such a time.

戰(zhàn)斗打得異常激烈，聯(lián)軍在整個(gè)戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)上節(jié)節(jié)敗退。我們團(tuán)隊(duì)所踞的陣地十分重要;此刻出錯(cuò)必會(huì)招致全軍覆沒。在這一發(fā)千鈞之際，，這個(gè)頭號(hào)大傻瓜是怎樣指揮的呢?他把團(tuán)隊(duì)從陣地撤出，下令向鄰近的一座小山包發(fā)起沖鋒，而那里連一個(gè)敵兵的影子也沒有!“一錯(cuò)再錯(cuò)!”我自言自語(yǔ)地說(shuō)，“這下子到底是全完蛋啦。”我們一個(gè)勁兒往前沖，敵人還來(lái)不及發(fā)現(xiàn)和制止我們的瘋狂行動(dòng)，我們就已經(jīng)沖上了山脊。我們看到了什么呢?誰(shuí)也想不到竟是俄軍整整一個(gè)軍的后備隊(duì)!結(jié)果如何呢?是不是把我們吃掉了呢?百分之九十九的情況下，那必然是我們的下場(chǎng)。但是，不，那些俄國(guó)人推測(cè)：在這種時(shí)刻，單單一個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)是決不會(huì)像羊群放牧似的在這兒出現(xiàn)的。

It must be the whole British army, they thought. They turned tail, away they went over the hilland down into the field in wild disorder, and we after them. In no time, there was the greatestturn around you ever saw. The allies turned defeat into a sweeping and shining victory.

必定是英軍全軍出擊，必定是俄軍的詭計(jì)已被識(shí)破而不能得逞;因此他們就掉頭亂跑，從山上跑到山下，混亂不堪，我們則尾追不舍;他們自己破壞了俄軍堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的中央陣地，撕開了一個(gè)缺口，于是俄軍立即全線大潰敗，那情形真是少見，結(jié)果聯(lián)軍反敗為勝，獲得了偉大、輝煌的勝利!坎羅伯特元帥看到這一切，又驚又喜，贊嘆不已，立即召見斯考茲比，擁抱他，在戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)上當(dāng)著全軍的面給他授勛!

The allied commander looked on, his head spinning with wonder, surprise and joy. He sentright off for Scoresby, and put his arms around him and hugged him on the field in front of allthe armies. Scoresby became famous that day as a great military leader – honored throughoutthe world. That honor will never disappear while history books last.

那一次斯考茲比犯的是什么錯(cuò)誤?只不過(guò)是把右手當(dāng)成了左手——如此而已。命令叫他往后靠，支援我方右翼;而他呢，他卻往前靠，越過(guò)小山包向左方運(yùn)動(dòng)。但是那一天，他卻一舉成名，成了一位神奇的天才軍事家，譽(yù)滿全球。只要世上還有歷史書存在，這種榮譽(yù)就永放光芒。

He is just as nice and pleasant as ever, but he still does not know enough to come in out of therain. He is the stupidest man in the universe. Until now, nobody knew it but Scoresby andmyself. He has been followed, day by day, year by year, by a strange luck. He has been ashining soldier in all our wars for years. He has filled his whole military life with mistakes. Everyone of them brought him another honorary title. Look at his chest, flooded with British andforeign medals. Well, sir, every one of them is the record of some great stupidity or other.They are proof that the best thing that can happen to a man is to be born lucky. I say again, asI did at the dinner, Scoresby's a complete fool.

他是一位非常和藹可親、平易近人的好人，但他就是不知道下雨了應(yīng)當(dāng)進(jìn)屋躲躲。這話一點(diǎn)不假。他是宇宙間夭字第一號(hào)的蠢驢;半個(gè)鐘頭以前除了他自己和我之外還沒有旁人知道內(nèi)情。日復(fù)一日，年復(fù)一年，他交的全是好運(yùn)，一種極不尋常的、令人驚嘆不已的好運(yùn)。在一代人的時(shí)期內(nèi)，他參加過(guò)我們的歷次戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，戰(zhàn)功彪炳;他在戎馬生涯中始終不斷犯錯(cuò)誤，然而這些錯(cuò)誤總是使他榮膺爵士、從男爵、勛爵或是別的什么稱號(hào)。瞧他的胸脯兒，嘿，密密麻麻掛滿了本國(guó)和外國(guó)的勛章。你瞧，每枚勛章都是某件荒唐透頂?shù)拇朗碌挠涗洠@些勛章加在一起就證明：人生在世所能碰到的最最好的事就是一出娘胎就交上好運(yùn)氣。我在宴會(huì)上說(shuō)過(guò)，我現(xiàn)在再說(shuō)一遍，斯考茲比是個(gè)頭號(hào)大傻瓜。