散文佳作108篇 第62期:Divorce and Kids 離婚與孩子

Divorce and Kids

離婚與孩子

Barbara Dafoe Whitehead

巴巴拉·達(dá)福·懷特黑德

Divorce is transforming the lives of American children.In the past World War 2 generation, morethan 80 percent of children grew up with both biological parents. Today only half will do so.Each year more than a million children experience family breakup: about as many are born outof wedlock.

離婚正在改變美國兒童的生活。二次世界大戰(zhàn)后的一代人中，80%以上的兒童都在親生父母身邊長大。今天只有半數(shù)是如此。每年有一百多萬兒童的家庭破裂，這與非婚生兒的數(shù)量大體相同。

At the same time, the problems associated with family disruption have grown. Overall child well-being has declined,despite historically high public spending. The teen suicide rate has almosttripled. Juvenile crime has increased and become more violent. School performance has beenpoor.

與此同時，家庭破裂帶來的問題層出不窮。盡管政府的開支歷來很大，兒童總的生活水平卻有所下降。青少年的自殺率幾乎增長了兩倍。青少年犯罪率上升，而且暴力案件越來越多，而學(xué)業(yè)成績甚差。

Given such a dramatic impact on children’s lives, one might expect today’s high divorce rate tobe viewed more widely as a national crises. Yet, those who argue that it poses a serious threatare dismissed as being pessimistic or nostalgic, unwilling to accept the new facts of life. Thedominant view in the popular culture is that the changes in family structure are, on balance,positive. And until recently there was little hard evidence to confirm or dispute thisassumption.

兒童的生活既然受到如此顯著的影響，有人可能把當(dāng)今的高離婚率視作一場全國性的危機(jī)。然而，持有這種觀點(diǎn)的人卻被斥之為過分悲觀或懷舊，被認(rèn)為是不愿接受新的生活現(xiàn)實(shí)。大眾文化普遍認(rèn)為，家庭結(jié)構(gòu)的變化總的說來是積極的。但直到最近還沒有什么確鑿的證據(jù)可以證實(shí)或反駁這種說法。

A 1940s book on divorce asserted:” Children are entitled to the affection and association oftwo parents, not one.” In the 1950s most Americans believed parents should stay in anunhappy marriage to avoid damaging the children.

40年代的一本論述離婚的書曾稱：“孩子有權(quán)享有父母雙方而不是其中一方的寵愛和關(guān)懷”。50年代，多數(shù)美國人認(rèn)為，做父母的即使婚姻不美滿，也要維持下去，以免傷害孩子。

But by mid-1970s what had once been regarded as hostile to children’s best interests wasconsidered essential to adults’ happiness. “A two-parent home is not the only emotionalstructure within which a child can be happy and healthy,” a popular divorce book of this eraproclaimed. “The parents who take care of themselves will be best able to take care of theirchildren.”

但到70年代中期，人們的觀念有所改變，原先說離婚會傷害子女們的最高利益，此時則認(rèn)為離婚是關(guān)乎成人幸福的大事。當(dāng)年一本論述離婚的暢銷書聲稱：“雙親家庭并不是唯一能讓孩子過得健康快樂的情感寄托所，做父母的只有照顧好自己才能更好地照顧好孩子。”

As this optimistic view took shape, many expects believed that the psychological impact ofdivorce on children was like a bad cold. There was a phase of acute discomfort, then a shortrecovery。 Kids would be back on their feet in no time, with no lasting harm.

這種樂觀的看法一形成，就有許多專家認(rèn)為，離異對孩子心理上的影響好比患了重感冒：開始一段時間會極不舒服，接著是短暫的恢復(fù)期。不久孩子得到康復(fù)，痛苦漸漸消失。

By the early 1980s, however, nearly two decades had passed since the changes in family life hadbegun. During the intervening years a fuller body of empirical research had emerged: studiesthat used large samples, or followed families through time, or did both. Moreover, several of thestudies offered a child’s-eye view of family disruption.

然而到80年代初，家庭生活中發(fā)生的這種婚姻變化已經(jīng)歷了近二十個年頭。在此期間，大量以經(jīng)驗(yàn)為依據(jù)的研究工作脫穎而出：或廣泛調(diào)查大批實(shí)例，或長期跟蹤家庭進(jìn)行研究，或雙管齊下。而且，不少研究還提供了孩子對家庭破裂的看法。

In 1971 Judith Wallerstein, a clinical psychologist, and her staff began interviewing middle-class children in the San Francisco area at the time their parents broke up. She discovered thechildren seemed to be doing worse. Five years after breakup, her research shows, more than athird of the children were experiencing moderate or severe depression. At ten years asignificant number to be troubled, drifting, underachieving. At 15 years many, now adults,were struggling to establish strong love relationships of their own.

1971年，臨床心理學(xué)家朱迪斯·沃勒斯坦及其工作人員開始走訪舊金山地區(qū)一些中產(chǎn)階級家庭的孩子——當(dāng)時他們父母的關(guān)系已破裂，有的已離異一年之久。她并沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)孩子的感情有什么奇跡般的恢復(fù);事實(shí)上，這些孩子的情況似乎每況愈下。

Five years after breakup, her research shows, more than a third of the children wereexperiencing moderate or severe depression. At ten years a significant number appeared tobe troubled, drifting, underachieving. At 15 years many, now adults, were struggling toestablish strong love relationships of their own.

她的研究表明，在家庭破裂5年后，三分之一以上的孩子患有中度或嚴(yán)重的抑郁癥。10年后，有一大批孩子表現(xiàn)得心情苦惱，變化無常，學(xué)習(xí)成績差，15年后，許多人都已成年了，就拼命建立自己真正心愛的牢固關(guān)系。

Research shows that girls in single-parent families are at greater risk for teenage marriage,nonmarital birth, and divorce than girls in two-parent families---and that this is true regardlessof race or income. Also, children in disrupted families are nearly twice as likely to drop out ofhigh school. Boys are at greater risk of dropping out than girls and are more prone toaggressive behavior.

研究表明，單親家庭女孩的冒險性大于雙親家庭的女孩：性早熟，十幾歲結(jié)婚，少年懷孕，非婚生育，離婚 —— 而且不分種族、膚色和收入，都是如此。再者，家庭分裂的孩子中學(xué)退學(xué)率幾乎要高出一倍。男孩比女孩更容易退學(xué)，更好尋釁鬧事。

Scholars also find significant difference in educational attainment. According to a 1980 study bythe National Association of Elementary School Principals, 30 parent of Two-parent elementarystudents ranks as high achievers, as compared with 17 percent of single-parent of single-parent students. The children in single-parent families were also more likely to be truant orreceive disciplinary action.

學(xué)者們還發(fā)現(xiàn)，在學(xué)業(yè)成績上也有顯著差異。根椐1980年全國小學(xué)校長協(xié)會的一項(xiàng)調(diào)查，在雙親家庭的小學(xué)生中，有百分之三十為優(yōu)等生，而在單親家庭的孩子中只有百分之十七為優(yōu)等生。單親家庭的子女逃學(xué)或受處分的情況也屢見不鮮。

Since most children live with their mothers after divorce, one might expect that the mother-childbond would even be strengthened. Yet research shows that only half the children whosemothers were protective before a divorce. Moreover, the mother-child relationships deterioratedover time.

由于多數(shù)孩子在父母離婚后跟母親過，有人以為母子關(guān)系會因此而加深，但研究表明，僅有半數(shù)孩子的母親在離婚后還能保持離婚前的那種慈幼關(guān)系。何況這種母子關(guān)系是隨時間而衰退的。

Family disruption has been suggested as a central cause of many vexing social problems, aswell.

有人提出，家庭破裂還是引發(fā)許多惱人的社會問題的主要原因。

Nationally, over 70 percent of juveniles in state reform institutions come from homes withoutboth parents present. Family breakup is thought to be an important source of high crime ratesin the nation’s cities. And, according to one study, its influence is independent of race orincome.

從全國來看，在州立管教所中，有百分之七十的少年犯來自非雙親家庭。家庭破裂是全國城市犯罪率高的一個重要原因。有一項(xiàng)調(diào)查還說，其影響所及，非種族或收入所能限制。

Nowhere has the impact of family breakup been more profound than in our schools. Acrossthe nation, principals report a dramatic rise in the aggressive, acting-out behaviorcharacteristic of children living in single-parent families.

我們的學(xué)校受到家庭破裂的影響最大。校長們的報告指出，在全國范圍內(nèi)，住在單親家庭中的孩子所特有的那種尋釁鬧事的發(fā)泄行為已明顯增加。

Over the past 25 years Americans have been conducting a vast natural experiment in family life.The results are becoming clear. Adults have benefited from the changes, but not children.Indeed, this may be the first generation to do worse psychologically and socially than theirparents.

在過去的25年里，美國人一直在家庭生活中進(jìn)行著一項(xiàng)龐大而又順乎自然的試驗(yàn)。其結(jié)果日見明朗。成從變化中得益，兒童則不然。說真的，這一代子女，也許是心理上、社會上都不如自己父母的第一代人。

The novelist Pat Conroy has observed that"each divorce is the death of a small civilization. "Noone feels this more acutely than children.

小說家帕特·康洛伊說過：“每一起離異都是一小點(diǎn)文明的泯滅。”痛感于此者，莫過于兒童了。