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在阿姆斯特丹的特維德·赫爾摩斯街和E·C·惠金斯街的交合處,我看見一位將近三十歲的女士沿人行道推著自行車。她穿著灰色長(zhǎng)外套,里面是橘黃色套衫,腳下是褐色平跟鞋;她戴著一副很平常的眼鏡,赤褐色的頭發(fā)在腦后挽成一個(gè)髻。她大大方方地走著,沒有一點(diǎn)好奇,似乎這是她的城市。在自行車的車把上掛著一個(gè)籃子,里面放了一長(zhǎng)條面包和一盒果汁,果汁紙盒上印著“好胃口”(Goudappeltje)的字樣,這“好胃口”的拼寫中t和j是連在一起的,中間并無元音字母,對(duì)此,她已習(xí)以為常了。如果她是推著自行車去商店,或是走在高大的公寓街區(qū),可以看見公寓頂樓上吊運(yùn)家具的吊鉤,那么,我們不會(huì)感覺出任何的異國(guó)情調(diào)。
In Amsterdam, on the corner of Tweede Helmets Straat and Eerste Constantijn Huygens Straat, I notice a woman in her late twenties pushing a bicycle along the pavement. Her auburn hair is drawn into a bun; she is wearing a long grey coat, an orange pullover, flat brown shoes and a pair of practical-looking glasses. It seems that this is her part of town, for she walks confidently and without curiosity. In a basket attached to the handlebars of her bicycle is a loaf of bread and a carton on which is written Goudappeltje . She sees nothing peculiar in at and j stuck together without a vowel on her apple juice carton. There is nothing exotic for her about pushing a bicycle to the shops or in the tall apartment blocks with their hooks on the top floor for hoisting furniture.
好奇會(huì)驅(qū)使我們尋求理解。她上哪兒去?她在想些什么?她的朋友是誰?福樓拜和坎普乘船到馬賽,然后從那里換上一艘開往亞歷山大的班輪時(shí),福樓拜突然對(duì)另一位女人產(chǎn)生了類似的強(qiáng)烈好奇。船上別的乘客都在心不在焉地看風(fēng)景,福樓拜的眼睛盯住的卻是站在甲板上的一位女士。福樓拜在埃及旅行手記中寫道,她是“一個(gè)年輕、苗條的女子,戴著草帽,草帽上罩著長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的綠色面紗;她穿著一件緊身禮服,禮服外還套著一件短的絲質(zhì)上衣。禮服有絲絨領(lǐng)子,兩側(cè)都有口袋。她的雙手正插在口袋里。禮服正面,兩排鈕扣自上而下緊扣著,勾勒出了她的曲線,再往下,便是無數(shù)的褶裥。風(fēng)中,這些褶裥在她的膝部飄舞。她戴著緊緊的黑色手套,旅程中的多數(shù)時(shí)候,她都倚著船舷,看著河流兩岸的風(fēng)景……我常有一種沖動(dòng),想為我所遇上的人編故事,強(qiáng)烈的好奇心迫使我想知道她們過的是怎樣一種生活。我想知道她們的職業(yè),她們的國(guó)籍,她們的姓名;我想知道她們此時(shí)此刻在想些什么,她們生活中有何遺憾,她們的期求又是什么?我還想知道她們?cè)羞^怎樣的戀情,而現(xiàn)在她們的夢(mèng)想又是指向何方……如果碰巧遇上的是一位女士(特別是年輕的女士),這種好奇心的驅(qū)動(dòng)力就會(huì)變得尤為強(qiáng)烈。老實(shí)說,你迫不及待地想看到她赤裸時(shí)的樣子,想聽到她的傾心告白。你會(huì)想盡辦法打聽她從哪里來,又將到哪里去?為什么她現(xiàn)在身處此地而非他方?你的眼光不停地在她身上游走,腦子里想象著自己同她墜入情網(wǎng),認(rèn)定她非常癡情。你想象她的臥室,還有許許多多和她相關(guān)的事情……直至她下床時(shí)在臥室里穿的舊拖鞋”。
Desire elicits a need to understand. Where is she going? What are her thoughts? Who are her friends? On the river boat that carried Flaubert and Du Camp to Marseilles, whence they caught the steamer for Alexandria, Flaubert had been overcome by similar questions about another woman. While other passengers gazed absent-mindedly at the scenery, Flaubert fixed his eyes on a woman on deck. She was, he wrote in his Egyptian travel journal, 'a young and slender creature wearing a long green veil over her straw hat. Under her silk jacket, she had on a short frock coat with a velvet collar and pockets on either side in which she had put her hands. Two rows of buttons ran down her front, holding her in tightly and tracing the outline of her hips, from which flowed the numerous pleats of her dress, which rubbed against her knees in the wind. She wore tight black gloves and spent most of the journey leaning against the railing looking out at the banks of the river … I'm obsessed with inventing stories for people I come across. An overwhelming curiosity makes me ask myself what their lives might be like. I want to know what they do, where they're from, their names, what they're thinking about at that moment, what they regret, what they hope for, their past loves, their current dreams … and if they happen to be women (especially youngish ones) then the urge becomes intense. How quickly you would want to see her naked, admit it, and naked through to her heart. How you try to learn where she comes from, where she's going, why she's here and not elsewhere! While letting your eyes wander all over her, you imagine love affairs for her, you ascribe her deep feelings. You think of the bedroom she must have, and a thousand things besides … right down to the battered slippers into which she must slip her feet when she gets out of bed.'
在異域,一個(gè)有吸引力的人除了具有我們本國(guó)人所具有的魅力外,他所處國(guó)度的異域情調(diào)也讓他生輝不少。如果愛是尋求那些我們自身所不具備、卻為我們所愛之人獨(dú)有的個(gè)性魅力,那么,當(dāng)我們和異域情人相愛時(shí),我們更有理由期待自己融入一種我們自身文化所缺失的價(jià)值和觀念之中。
To the appeal that an attractive person might possess in our own country is added, in an exotic land, an attraction deriving from their location. If it is true that love is a pursuit in others of qualities we lack in ourselves, then in our love of someone from another country, one ambition may be to weld ourselves more closely to values missing from our own culture.
德拉克洛瓦所作與摩洛哥相關(guān)的油畫似乎就給我們傳遞了這樣的信息:對(duì)一個(gè)地方的向往是如何點(diǎn)燃我們對(duì)生活在那個(gè)地方的人的欲望。就拿《呆在家里的阿爾及爾女人》來說,看到這幅畫的人可能就像福樓拜對(duì)他所遭遇的女性一樣,急切地想知道“她們的姓名,想知道她們此時(shí)此刻在想些什么,她們的生活中有何遺憾,她們的期求又是什么?還想知道她們?cè)羞^什么樣的戀情,而現(xiàn)在她們的夢(mèng)想又是指向何方……”
In his Moroccan paintings, Delacroix appeared to suggest how desire for a place might fuel desire for the people within it. Of the subjects of his Women of Algiers in Their Apartment(1834), for example, the viewer might long to know, as Flaubert longed to know of the women he passed, 'their names, what they're thinking about at that moment, what they regret, what they hope for, whom they have loved, what they dream of … '
歐仁·德拉克洛瓦:《呆在家里的阿爾及爾女人》,1834年
福樓拜在埃及的傳奇般的性經(jīng)歷雖是一種近乎買賣的嫖妓行為,但并非與感情無涉。這次性經(jīng)歷發(fā)生在一個(gè)叫埃斯納的小鎮(zhèn)。埃斯納位于尼羅河西岸,盧克索以南約五十公里。福樓拜和坎普曾在那里留宿,并結(jié)識(shí)了一位有名的交際花——庫(kù)丘珂·哈娜姆。庫(kù)丘珂還以能歌善舞和見多識(shí)廣而知名?!凹伺币辉~是與庫(kù)丘珂尊貴的地位不相稱的。福樓拜對(duì)她一見鐘情:“她的皮膚,特別是軀體的皮膚,略帶咖啡色。彎腰時(shí),豐滿部位的肌膚呈波浪狀,宛若一道道古銅色的山脊。她有著黑色的大眼睛,黑色的眉毛,寬大的鼻孔,圓實(shí)的雙肩,雙乳則蘋果般飽滿突出……她的頭發(fā)也是黑色,卷曲蓬松,從前額開始中分,往兩邊梳至腦后……她右上方的一顆門牙似乎已被蟲蛀了。”
Flaubert's legendary sexual experience in Egypt was commercial, but not unfeeling. It took place in the small town of Esna, on the western bank of the Nile, some fifty kilometres south of Luxor. Flaubert and Du Camp had stopped in Esna for the night and been introduced to a famous courtesan, who also had a reputation as an almeh or learned woman. The word prostitute does not capture the dignity of Kuchuk Hanem's role. Flaubert desired her at first sight: 'Her skin, particularly on her body, is slightly coffee-coloured. When she bends, her flesh ripples into bronze ridges. Her eyes are dark and enormous. Her eyebrows black, her nostils open and wide; heavy shoulders, full, apple-shaped breasts … her black hair, wavy, unruly, pulled straight back on each side from a centre parting beginning at the forehead … she has one upper incisor, right, which is beginning to go bad.'
庫(kù)丘珂邀請(qǐng)福樓拜到她布置簡(jiǎn)單的家里。那晚,天空十分清朗,但格外地冷。在他的本子里,福樓拜有這樣的記載:“我們上床了……她把手放在我的手中,睡著了,微微地打著鼾。室內(nèi)桌燈如豆,一塊三角形的光斑,朦朧的金屬色,落在她漂亮的額頭上,而她面部的其他各處都在陰影里。她的小狗則在沙發(fā)上,睡在我的絲絨夾克衫上。她抱怨說有點(diǎn)咳嗽,因此我將自己的毛皮披風(fēng)加蓋在她的睡毯上……我則思緒翻涌,想起了很多的往事。她的腹部緊貼著我的屁股,我還感覺到她的胸脯,遠(yuǎn)比她的腹部暖熱,貼著我,像是熱乎乎的熨斗……我們就這樣緊擁在一起,這種身體的交流,勝過千言萬語。她睡著了,手和大腿自然地收縮著,似乎在禁不住地顫栗……當(dāng)你離開的時(shí)候,你確信自己已在身后留下了一份記憶,確信在眾多的曾在她的住處留宿的人中,她會(huì)更多地記起你,確信你會(huì)被她藏在心底,這是一件多么讓人得意和自傲的事情!”
Kuchuk invited Flaubert back to her modest house. It was an unusually cold night, with a clear sky. In his notebook, the Frenchman recorded: 'We went to bed … She falls asleep with her hand in mine. She snores. The lamp, shining feebly, casts a triangular gleam, the colour of pale metal, on her beautiful forehead; the rest of her face was in shadow. Her little dog slept on my silk jacket on the divan. Since she complained of a cough, I put my pelisse over her blanket … I gave myself over to intense reveries, full of reminiscences. Feeling of her stomach against my buttocks. Her mound warmer than her stomach, heated me like a hot iron … we told each other a great many things through touch. As she slept she kept contracting her hands and thighs mechanically, like involuntary shudders … How flattering it would be to one's pride if at the moment of leaving you were sure that you left a memory behind, that she would think of you more than of the others who have been there, that you would remain in her heart.'
福樓拜沿著尼羅河而下的整個(gè)行程中從未停止過對(duì)庫(kù)丘珂的懷念。在從菲萊到阿斯旺的返程中,福樓拜和坎普在埃斯納再度停留,并再次探訪了庫(kù)丘珂。這次見面只能讓福樓拜愈發(fā)傷感:“無邊的悲哀……這就是結(jié)局!我將再也不能見到她。記憶中,她的容顏將慢慢消失?!笔聦?shí)是,這以后,福樓拜終其一生都未忘卻庫(kù)丘珂的容顏。
Dreams of Kuchuk Hanem accompanied Flaubert down the Nile. On their way back from Philae and Aswan, he and Du Camp stopped off at Esna to visit her once more. The second meeting made Flaubert more melancholy than the first: 'Infinite sadness … this is the end; I'll not see her again, and gradually her face will fade from my memory.' It never did.
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