The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily Newspaper:
"Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league softball and soccer. Over 80,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league softball players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure from coaches and parents. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages apparently outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."
滿分范文賞析
This letter concludes that Parkville should not allow children under age nine to participate in organized competitive sports because of the rate of injury, psychological pressure on children from adult organizers and the reduction in time available for academic pursuits.
【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument開頭段結(jié)構(gòu),即:C – E 的開頭結(jié)構(gòu)。概括原文的C(Conclusion)同時給出原文為了支持他的結(jié)論所引用的主要E(evidence)?!敬硕喂δ堋?/p>
本段作為Argument開頭段,具體功能就在發(fā)起攻擊。首先,概括原文的結(jié)論:Parkville(簡稱P)地區(qū)不能讓9歲以下兒童參與競技體育活動。接下來分別列舉了原文為了支持這個結(jié)論引用的證據(jù):rate of injury, pschological pressure和academic time減少,論據(jù)的歸納用于鋪墊出正文段的具體攻擊。
One of the major problems with the argument is that it relies on the assumption that the nationwide statistics about the incidence of sports injuries among youngsters applies equally to Parkville's children—this might not be the case. Perhaps Parkville maintains more stringent safety standards than the national norm. Maybe children's sporting events in Parkville are better supervised. These peculiarities may offset the national averages. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author cannot justifiably conclude that Parkville has a sports-injury problem to begin with.
【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu),即:概括第一個邏輯錯誤的錯誤類型和原文犯錯位置,接下來給出合理的理由和他因來反駁原文。
【此段功能】
本段作為正文第一段,攻擊文章犯的主要邏輯錯誤:調(diào)查類錯誤。作者認(rèn)為意向關(guān)于運動受傷的nationwide數(shù)據(jù)不能用來說明Parkville的情況。接下來,作者指出Parkville地區(qū)可能存在的與其他地區(qū)不同的因素來駁斥原文觀點。例如P地區(qū)有more stringent safety standards,或者P地區(qū)兒童在體育鍛煉時被很好的監(jiān)護。在沒有排除這些可能性的情況下,引用全國調(diào)查是不可靠的。
Another troubling issue is that the argument assumes that in Parkville parents and coaches unduly pressure youngsters to win organized athletic competitions. The only evidence the author provides to substantiate this assumption are the reports from "big city" children—there is no information present on the conditions in Parkville. Perhaps people who live in big cities are generally more competitive than other people. If so, and if Parkville is not a big city, then the author cannot justifiably rely on these reports.
【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu),即:概括第二個邏輯錯誤的錯誤類型和原文犯錯位置,接下來給出合理的理由和他因來反駁原文。
【此段功能】
本段作為正文第二段,攻擊文章犯的主要邏輯錯誤:調(diào)查類錯誤。作者認(rèn)為原文中“P地區(qū)的父母教練在競技體育中給孩子很大的壓力”存在邏輯錯誤。作者提出,原文引用的是一個關(guān)于“big city”報告,而沒有提出關(guān)于P地區(qū)的證據(jù)。進一步,作者給出其他可能性來反駁原文觀點,例如大城市的人要比P地區(qū)更competitive,而P地區(qū)不是大城市。
A third problem with the argument is that it assumes that children do not benefit academically from participating in competitive sports. It is entirely possible that such sports provide children with a break from academics that helps them to be more productive academically. It is also possible that the competitive drive that these sports may instill in young children carries over to their academics and spurs them on in their studies. Without considering the potential academic benefits of organized sports, the author cannot reasonably conclude that for young children the disadvantages of participating in athletic competition outweigh the benefits.
【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】
本段采用了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu),即:概括第三個邏輯錯誤的錯誤類型和原文犯錯位置,接下來給出合理的理由和他因來反駁原文。
【此段功能】
本段作為正文第三段,攻擊文章犯的主要邏輯錯誤:錯誤因果(忽略他因)。原文中關(guān)于“參加競技體育活動對兒童的學(xué)習(xí)沒有幫助”的論點存在邏輯錯誤。作者提出其他可能性來反駁這一觀點,例如:體育運動給兒童break,使他們學(xué)習(xí)效率更高;競技體育活動使兒童在學(xué)習(xí)中更有上進心。