GRE作文 ETS官方Issue主題范文(二)
Test2
The typical Calvin Klein male models do not appear the way most men are naturally. This look is both unhealthy and atypical of most humans. Nevertheless, thanks to the media's coverage, including magazine advocating, newspapers ads, and commercials to sell products, a large portion of this society has done everything from liposuction to becoming bullimic to attain a supermodel look. If the media does not cover the indutrsy in such a manner, a growing number of people would not care about the skeletal look of kate Moss or any other unrealistic physical attrubutes that are usually genetically or surgically produced. The media creates this image of how men and women should look thereby creating the values of this society. These values would be totally different without the media's negative influence.
Television rates each show by the number of viewers. Shows that do not have a large audience are usually cancelled and then they can allow time for a new show. Successful shows are duplicated. For example, Star Trek was successful so it is the creation of many new Star Trek shows (Deep Space Nine, Voyager). Veiwers decide which shows stay or leave. What makes a successful or unsuccessful show? Usually if the audience can identify with an actor, or situation, etc. the show will gain popularity. Special effects make shows more interesting; but, if the plot is not acceptable, the show is usually doomed.
評(píng)價(jià)
This essay does not analyze the issue. Unlike many other essays at the 1 score level, this response is fairly easy to read and has, more or less, an overall coherence. The writer's position is that media have to "appeal to many people" in order "to become mainstream," and the brief discussion supports that position. The essay was scored a 1 because it does not address the basic issue presented in the topic: do the media create or reflect the values of a society?
Readers are told to read supportively, but when a writer merely writes about something in the topic (in this case, "the media") and ignores the issue, the response will probably not earn higher than a 1. Similarly, an essay that discusses only "values" (religion, for example, with no reference to media) or "a favorite television show" (with no reference to how television reflects or influences people's values), no matter how well written, could not earn a very high score.
The sentences are generally coherent, and the errors do not seriously interfere with meaning. It is not the control of syntax or conventions per se that keeps this essay at the 1 level but, as noted above, the inability of the writer to clearly address the issue.
Yes, the media is creating a bad influence in todays young people. But I believe that everything in the media can be overcome and ignored. We need to raise our children right.
評(píng)價(jià)
This response is simplistic in its analysis of the issue. The writer has much to say about the negative influence of media on children, arguing that the media "should do a better job in trying to create a good, healthy environment." However, the writer never seems to consider the complexities of the issue -- for example, whether, or to what extent, the topic's claim is accurate, or whether today's media can have a positive influence, or whether society has any influence on the media.
Also, some of the statements are not convincing. For example, when the writer asks, "Why do the T.V. shows tell juveniles that all they get for breaking the law is a slap on the hands?", many readers will immediately think of contradictory examples. The depth of thought is not sufficient for this essay to earn a score higher than 3.
There are problems in expression, as well. More precise language would express ideas more clearly, (e.g., "see all the things," "the bad stuff in our society," and "the awful things," and transitional phrases would help connect several important ideas whose relationship is unclear (e.g., "But I believe that everything in the media can be overcome and ignored. We need to raise our children right").
2、
"The media tend to create rather than reflect the values of a society", is true because society allow the media to pusrue this in such a way.
The American culture as a whole lives through the pulse of the media world and is enthralled by movies, lyrics and film. Because of the nature by which our society is dependant on the media, the media is able to create any senses of values adaptable by our society.
This is not to say that the media is solely responsible for the values of American culture, however, our society makes this creation possible. Although there are many who will disagree with the medias portrayal of many issues, our society as a whole fuels the fire to which the media thrives on. For the most part, books, films and music are produced to sell and the media knows to which audience they are targetting.
The way in which a culture enable the media to create it's values, ultimately reflects the values of a society.
評(píng)價(jià)
This is a seriously flawed response to the topic because the reasoning is weak and the ideas are unclear.
The writer's position on the issue seems clear enough, but the essay presents few reasons to support that position. And even those reasons are not explained clearly. For example, the writer often refers to the means by which the media influence society (e.g., "such a way," "the nature by which," and "the way in which") but fails to explain what those ideas mean or why they are important.
The reasoning is both seriously limited and unclear.
Problems in word choice frequently trip up the reader. For example, "our society as a whole fuels the fire to which the media thrives on" is an interesting idea, but the reader has to hesitate at the intrusive "to which." The same is true of this statement: "the media is able to create any senses of values adaptable by our society."
Also, many basic errors occur throughout the essay: subject-verb agreement (first and last paragraphs), comma splice (third paragraph), "medias'" for "media's" (third paragraph), and "it's" for "its" (last paragraph).
Both the lack of clear reasons and the poor use of language keep this essay at the 2 score level.
1、
The media is important and there are commercials for business reasons and news and entertainment.
For media to become mainstream, it must appeal to many people. The values expressed must be attractive to the audience, otherwise it will not sell. Example of specific media - Televison:
Lastly, when the media chooses to focus on pervers and negative, and unhealthy aspects of a society, then that part of society becomes the "values' of that society. Gangster rap or anorexic models could not possibly have made it without the media's concentrated coverage of either.
評(píng)價(jià)
This response presents an adequate discussion of the topic. After a succinct announcement of the writer's position on the issue, the essay presents two relevant examples to support that position: musicians ("gangster rappers") who have negatively influenced kids' behavior and superstar models who have negatively influenced people's self-image.
Although the examples are well chosen and support the writer抯 position, they are not always clearly explained. For example, the writer claims that "most women neither want to nor can look like Kate Moss" but then contradicts that claim by explaining that "a large portion of this society has done everything from liposuction to becoming bullimic to attain a supermodel look."
In general, the vocabulary is clear, but not particularly precise. The sentences are formed correctly, but they lack effective variety. Grammatical and mechanical errors occur, but they do not seriously interfere. In almost every way, this essay is a typical 4 response.
