六級高分作文_幸福源于內(nèi)心
幸福源于內(nèi)心
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on the source of happiness by commenting on the remark, “Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you. Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within .” You can cite examples to illustrate your point. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.
審題立意
1. 導(dǎo)語解讀：要求考生從評論題目中引述的話入手，就“幸福的源泉”這一話題展開論述。
2. 文章立意：幸福是人發(fā)自內(nèi)心的感受，因此，幸福來自于內(nèi)心，而不是來自于外界的力量或受外界的影響。
寫作思路
1. 第一段簡要解釋引言的含義，然后提出論點(diǎn)：幸福源于內(nèi)心。
2. 第二段通過對比論證的方式闡述真正的幸福源于內(nèi)心和自己的努力。
3. 第三段呼應(yīng)開頭，再次強(qiáng)調(diào)幸福源于自身。
參考范文
“Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you. Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within.” The remark means that happiness comes from within your heart instead of from others or circumstances around you. 1 In my opinion, that’s absolutely true. 2
If you depend on others to attain happiness, you’ll find that you are at a disadvantage and may lose yourself. Genuine happiness doesn’t lie in driving a fancy race car bought by your parents, or living in a well decorated luxury mansion given by your parents, or receving a large amount of wealth inherited from your parents. 3 Instead, genuine happiness comes from your own pursuit of life. If you work hard and try your utmost to earn money, you can drive a luxury car of your own, live in a big house you buy for yourself and do whatever you want to do. All these successes, whether big or small, will make you happy. 3
In a word, happiness comes from yourself, your hard work, your persistence in your dream, and your creation of your beautiful life. 4
“能決定幸福的不是身邊發(fā)生的事，而是你內(nèi)心所產(chǎn)生的情緒。大部分人依賴于他人獲得幸福，但事實是，幸?？偸侨Q于自身?！边@句話的意思是幸福源于內(nèi)心，而不是源自其他人或者是你身邊的各種境況。在我看來，這無疑是正確的。
如果你依賴于他人獲得幸福，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)自己處于一種不利的境地，而且你或許會迷失自我。真正的幸福不在于開你父母買給你的花哨的跑車，或者是住在父母給你的豪宅里，又或是從父母那里收到一筆數(shù)額巨大的遺產(chǎn)。相反，真正的幸福源自于你自身對于生活的追求。如果你努力并竭盡全力地掙錢，你可以開自己買的豪車，住自己買的豪宅，你可以做任何自己想做的事。所有這些成功，無論大小，都能使你感到幸福。
總之，幸福源于自身，源于你的刻苦努力，源于你對夢想的堅持，源于你對美好生活的創(chuàng)造。
范文點(diǎn)評
1. 開篇引入引言并加以解釋：幸福源于內(nèi)心。
2. 首段末句明確表達(dá)自己贊成引言所蘊(yùn)含的觀點(diǎn)。
3. 從正反兩個方面闡述自己的觀點(diǎn)，論據(jù)充分，論證有力。
4. 末段總結(jié)全文，重申觀點(diǎn)。
要點(diǎn)用法
disadvantage n. 缺點(diǎn)；不利條件
lie in 在于
luxury n. 豪華，奢華，奢侈
mansion n. 大廈；宅邸
heritage n. 遺產(chǎn)
genuine adj. 真實的；真正的
persistence n. 堅持不懈；執(zhí)著
句法點(diǎn)評
1. Genuine happiness doesn’t lie in driving a fancy race car bought by your parents, or living in a well decorated luxury mansion given by your parents, or receving a large amount of wealth inherited from your parents.
此句中用了三個并列的動名詞短語driving...or living...or receiving作介詞in的賓語，構(gòu)成排比。
2. All these successes, whether big or small, will make you happy.
句中使用了插入語whether big or small，意為“無論大小”，用在句中可以起到補(bǔ)充說明的作用，同時又賦予了句子節(jié)奏感。
