The end of my sophomore year was approaching. Mom called me at the dorm one muggy evening during the last week of May. My summer break would be spent with grandma and grandpa, helping out around their farm. The arrangement made good sense to all the family. I wasn't fully convinced of that myself but figured it was just one summer. Next year would be my little brother's turn.
I packed my car after my last exam and said my good-byes until the fall. My friends would keep until then. Most of them were going home for the summer any-way.
The farm was about a three-hour drive from school. My grandparents were both in their 70s, and I knew they really needed the help around the farm. Getting in the hay would be something grandpa couldn't do by himself. He also needed help with repairs to the barns and a host of other chores.
I arrived late that afternoon. Grandma had fixed more food than the three of us could possibly eat. She doted over me entirely too much. I figured all the attention would taper off once she got used to having me around, but it didn't. Grandpa wanted to bring me up to date on literally everything. By the time I settled in for bed that night, I'd decided things would be okay. After all, it was just for one summer.
The next morning, Grandpa fixed breakfast for the two of us. He told me Grandma had tired herself out yesterday and was going to rest in bed a little longer. I made a mental note to myself to not ask her to do things for me while I was there. I was there to help, not be a burden.
Grandpa surprised me that morning. Once we were out of the house, he seemed more in his own element. The farm was his domain. Despite his age, there was confidence in the way he moved about the place. He didn't seem like the same person who had fallen asleep last night on the couch before the six o'clock news was finished. As we walked the pastures getting a close-up look at the livestock, Grandpa seemed to know each cow. And there were nearly 200 of them!
We didn't do much real work that first day, but I gained a sense of appreciation for what Grandpa had done all those years before I was even born. He wasn't an educated man, but he had raised and provided for four children on this farm. I was impressed by that.
Weeks passed. By June we had already baled one cutting of hay and gotten it safely into the barn. I gradually settled into a routine of daily work with Grandpa. He had a mental schedule of things that needed doing, and we worked on part of it each day. In the evenings I usually read or talked with Grandma. She never grew tired of hearing about college or anything I was involved in. She told me stories about her childhood, family and the early years after she and Grandpa had married.
The last Saturday in June, Grandpa suggested we go fishing, since we were caught up on everything. The pond was in a low pasture near the woods. Years before, Grandpa had stocked it with fish. We drove the pickup to the pond that day, looking over the livestock as we went. We hadn't expected what we saw when we got to the pond that morning: One of the swans was dead. Grandpa had given the pair of swans to Grandma on their 50th anniversary. "Why don't we see about buying another one," I suggested, hoping the situation could somehow be righted. Grandpa thought for a few moments before answering.
He finally said, "no... it's not that easy, Bruce. You see, swans mate for life." He raised his finger to point, holding the fishing pole in his other hand. "There's nothing we can do for the one that's left. He has to work it out for himself."
We caught enough fish that morning for lunch. On the way back to the house, Grandpa asked me not to tell Grandma about the swan. She didn't get down to the pond much anymore, and there was no sense in her knowing about it right away.
A few days later, we drove by the pond while doing our morning check on the cows. We found the other swan lying near the same spot we had found the first one. It, too, was dead.
The month of July started with me and Grandpa putting up a new stretch of fence. Then July 12 came. That was the day Grandma passed away. I'd overslept that morning. Grandpa had not knocked on my door, either. It was nearly eight o'clock by the time I could hurriedly dress myself and get down to the kitchen. I saw Dr. Morgan sitting at the kitchen table. He was a neighbor of my grandparents' age, long since retired. He'd come to the house several times before on social calls. I immediately knew something was wrong. This morning, his tattered old black bag was by his feet, and my grandfather was obviously shaken. Grandma had died suddenly that morning of a stroke. By the afternoon, my parents were there. The old house was soon crowded with relatives and Grandpa's friends.
The funeral was held the next day. Grandpa had insisted on having it as soon as possible. On the second day after the funeral, Grandpa announced at the breakfast table, "This is a working farm. We have a lot of things to do. The rest of you should get back to your own lives." Most of the family had already left, but this was Grandpa's way of telling the rest it was time for them to go home. My parents were the last to leave after lunch.
Grandpa was not a man who could outwardly express his grief around others, and we all worried about him. There had been talk of his giving up the farm. My parents thought he was too old to live out there alone. He wouldn't hear of it, though. I was proud of the way the old man had stood his ground. The rest of the summer flowed by. We stayed busy working. I thought there was something different about Grandpa but couldn't quite put my finger on it. I started to wonder if he would be better off living with someone after all, but I knew he could not leave the farm.
September was nearing, and part of me did not want to leave. I thought of skipping the fall semester and staying around a few more months. When I mentioned it, grandpa quickly told me that my place was back at college.
The day finally came for me to pack my car and leave. I shook his hand and chanced a hug. As I drove down the driveway, I saw him in the rear view mirror. He waved to me and then walked to the pasture gate to start the morning livestock check.
Mom called me at school on a blustery October day to tell me Grandpa had died. A neighbor had stopped by that morning for coffee and found him in the kitchen. He died of a stroke, same as Grandma. At that moment, I understood what he'd clumsily tried to explain to me about the swan on that morning we fished together by the pond.
大學(xué)二年級就快結(jié)束了。五月最后一個星期一個悶熱的晚上,母親打電話到我宿舍來,想讓我去外公外婆那兒度暑假,幫他們做做農(nóng)場的活。她說這樣安排對全家都有好處。雖然我并不這樣認(rèn)為,但想想不過是一個夏天而已。 明年就該輪上我弟弟去了。
最后一場考試考完我將打好的行裝放進(jìn)車?yán)?,跟大家告別時說秋天見。我的朋友們到那時才能見到,他們多數(shù)人也要回家過暑假。
從學(xué)校到農(nóng)場開車去約三個小時。 我的外公外婆都七十多歲了。我知道他們農(nóng)場確實也需要個幫手。 把干草收進(jìn)來外公一個人是干不了的。他也需要人幫他修理谷倉以及干其他許多經(jīng)常要干的雜活。
那天下午我到得晚,外婆做了許多吃的,我們?nèi)烁揪统圆煌?。外婆疼我疼得過分了。我想等我呆久了,她習(xí)慣了,就不會這樣操心了,可情況并非如此。外公想讓我了解一切,什么都不漏地和我講。晚上到了睡覺的時候,我告訴自己一切都會很順利,不會有什么問題。畢竟,只是一個夏天而已。
第二天早晨,外公為我們倆準(zhǔn)備了早餐。他對我說外婆昨天累著了,今天要多睡一會兒。 我心里記住在這兒的日子里千萬不要她再為我操勞了。我是來幫忙的,不是為他們增加負(fù)擔(dān)的。
那天上午,外公讓我吃了一驚。我們一離開家,他看上去就頗為得意。農(nóng)場就是他的領(lǐng)地。盡管年紀(jì)大了,他走到哪兒都信心十足的樣子. 他好像完全換了一個人,不像昨晚那樣,六點鐘的新聞還沒有播完他就在躺椅上睡著了。我們走過牧場去查看放牧的牲畜,外公似乎認(rèn)得每一頭母牛。牧場的牲口差不多有二百頭呢!
第一天我們沒有干多少活,但我對外公這么多年所干的事情,甚至我出生前干過的事情,開始有點認(rèn)識了。他沒有念過書,但就在這農(nóng)場上他養(yǎng)育了四個子女,這一點使我印象很深。
幾周過去了。到六月份我們已經(jīng)砍了第一批干草并打成捆,安全運進(jìn)谷倉了。我和外公一起干活已逐漸上了軌道,每天例行的事也熟悉了。要做的事外公在腦子里都想好了,每天做一部分。晚上我一般看看書或和外婆聊聊天。我和她講大學(xué)里的事,講我自己的一些事,她都愛聽。她和我談她的童年,她的娘家,她和外公結(jié)婚最初幾年的情況。
六月最后一個星期六,外公提議去釣魚,因為事情都趕著做完了。幾年前外公已經(jīng)在里面放了魚苗。那天我們開了那輛小貨車去池塘,一路上還查看了牲畜的情況。那天上午到達(dá)池塘?xí)r見到了一件意外的事:一只天鵝死了。這是一對中的一只,這對天鵝是他們結(jié)婚五十周年時外公送給外婆的。我說:“干嗎不再買一只?”希望那可以彌補一下這種狀況。
外公想了一會兒才回答。他說:“不,……沒那么簡單,布魯斯。你知道嗎,天鵝是終生為伴。” 他一手拿著釣竿,另一手抬起來指了一指。“對于留下來的這只我們無能為力,只好靠它自己了。”
那天上午我們釣了不少魚供午餐用?;丶业穆飞?,外公要我別向外婆提及天鵝的事。她現(xiàn)在不常來池塘這邊,沒有必要讓她馬上知道。
幾天以后的一個清晨,我們驅(qū)車去查看母牛時從池塘邊走過。在離第一只天鵝死的地方不遠(yuǎn),我們見到另一只天鵝躺在那兒。它也死了。
七月初我和外公建造了一堵新圍欄。七月十二那天,外婆過世了。那天早晨我睡過了頭。外公也沒有敲我的門。差不多八點了我才匆匆穿好衣服,下樓來到廚房。我見到摩根醫(yī)生坐在廚房桌子邊。他是外公家鄰居,和外公差不多年紀(jì),也早就退休了。他曾來過外公家串過幾次門。我立刻感到出了事。那天早晨,他腳邊放著他那破舊的黑包,外公的身子直發(fā)抖。外婆那天早晨突然患中風(fēng)逝世了。下午我父母來了。那間老屋一下子親友云集,顯得很擁擠。
第二天舉行葬禮。外公堅持盡快舉行。葬禮后的第二天,外公在早餐時宣布:“農(nóng)場要干活,我們有很多事要做。你們剩下的人都請回吧。” 家族大多數(shù)人已經(jīng)走了,而外公就用這種方法告訴剩下的人是回去的時候了。我父母吃過午飯后離開了,他們是最后走的人。
外公不會在人前表現(xiàn)自己的悲痛,我們都為他擔(dān)憂。已經(jīng)有人在談?wù)撍艞夀r(nóng)場。我父母認(rèn)為他年紀(jì)太大,不宜一個人單獨住在那兒,但他聽不進(jìn)去。老人家如此堅持我倒為此感到驕傲。夏天剩下的日子像流水似地過去了。每天忙忙碌碌,我感到外公和過去有所不同了,卻又說不出一個所以然來。我開始在想是不是還是有人陪著外公一起住更好些,可是我也知道他離不開農(nóng)場。
九月臨近了,我有點不想離開。我想秋季這學(xué)期不上學(xué),在這兒再呆幾個月。我向外公提出這個想法時,外公馬上就說我應(yīng)當(dāng)返校讀書。
終于到了我離開的時候。我把行李裝上車,和他握手道別,還偶然擁抱了一下。車子從車道上開走時,我從后視鏡里看到他。他向我揮揮手,然后走向牧場門,開始一上午對牲口的巡查。
十月的一個刮大風(fēng)的日子,媽媽打電話到學(xué)校里告訴我外公死了。那天早晨鄰居上他家喝咖啡時發(fā)現(xiàn)他在廚房里。和外婆一樣,他也是患中風(fēng)死的。我這才明白,我和他在池塘釣魚的那天早晨,為何他設(shè)法笨拙地向我解釋天鵝之死。