雙語全文 ● 魯迅 吶喊 自序

Preface to Call to Armsc

When I was young I， too， had many dreams. Most of them I later forgot，but I see nothing in this to regret. For although recalling the past may bring happiness， at times it cannot but bring loneliness， and what is the point of clinging in spirit to lonely bygone days? However， my trouble is that I cannot forget completely， and these stories stem from those things which I have been unable to forget.

For more than four years I frequented， almost daily， a pawnshop and pharmacy. I cannot remember how old I was at the time， but the pharmacy counter was exactly my height and that in the pawnshop twice my height. I used to hand clothes and trinkets up to the counter twice my height， then take the money given me with contempt to the counter my own height to buy medicine for my father， a chronic invalid. On my return home I had other things to keep me busy， for our physician was so eminent that he prescribed unusual drugs and adjuvants： aloe roots dug up in winter， sugar­cane that had been three years exposed to frost， original pairs of crickets，and ardisia that had seeded ... most of which were difficult to come by. But my father’s illness went from bad to worse until finally he died.

It is my belief that those who come down in the world will probably learn in the process what society is really like. My eagerness to go to Nand study in the K— Academy seems to have shown a desire to strike out for myself， escape， and find people of a different kind. My mother had no choice but to raise eight dollars for my travelling expenses and say I might do as I pleased. That she cried was only natural， for at that time the proper thing was to study the classics and take the official examinations. Anyone who studied “foreign subjects” was a social outcast regarded as someone who could find no way out and was forced to sell his soul to foreign devils. Besides， she was sorry to part with me. But in spite of all this， I went to Nand entered the K— Academy; and it was there that I learned of the existence of physics， arithmetic， geography， history， drawing and physical training. They had no physiology course， but we saw woodblock editions of such works as A New Course on the Human Body and Essays on Chemistry and Hygiene. Recalling the talk and prescriptions of physicians I had known and comparing them with what I now knew， I came to the conclusion that those physicians must be either unwitting or deliberate charlatans; and I began to feel great sympathy for the invalids and families who suffered at their hands. From translated histories I also learned that the Japanese Reformation owed its rise， to a great extent， to the introduction of Western medical science to Japan.

自　序

我在年青時(shí)候也曾經(jīng)做過許多夢(mèng)，后來大半忘卻了，但自己也并不以為可惜。所謂回憶者，雖說可以使人歡欣，有時(shí)也不免使人寂寞，使精神的絲縷還牽著已逝的寂寞的時(shí)光，又有什么意味呢，而我偏苦于不能全忘卻，這不能全忘的一部分，到現(xiàn)在便成了《吶喊》的來由。

我有四年多，曾經(jīng)常常，——幾乎是每天，出入于質(zhì)鋪和藥店里，年紀(jì)可是忘卻了，總之是藥店的柜臺(tái)正和我一樣高，質(zhì)鋪的是比我高一倍，我從一倍高的柜臺(tái)外送上衣服或首飾去，在侮蔑里接了錢，再到一樣高的柜臺(tái)上給我久病的父親去買藥。回家之后，又須忙別的事了，因?yàn)殚_方的醫(yī)生是最有名的，以此所用的藥引也奇特：冬天的蘆根，經(jīng)霜三年的甘蔗，蟋蟀要原對(duì)的，結(jié)子的平地木，……多不是容易辦到的東西。然而我的父親終于日重一日的亡故了。

有誰從小康人家而墜入困頓的么，我以為在這途路中，大概可以看見世人的真面目;我要到N進(jìn)K學(xué)堂去了，仿佛是想走異路，逃異地，去尋求別樣的人們。我的母親沒有法，辦了八元的川資，說是由我的自便;然而伊哭了，這正是情理中的事，因?yàn)槟菚r(shí)讀書應(yīng)試是正路，所謂學(xué)洋務(wù)，社會(huì)上便以為是一種走投無路的人，只得將靈魂賣給鬼子，要加倍的奚落而且排斥的，而況伊又看不見自己的兒子了。然而我也顧不得這些事，終于到N去進(jìn)了K學(xué)堂了，在這學(xué)堂里，我才知道世上還有所謂格致，算學(xué)，地理，歷史，繪圖和體操。生理學(xué)并不教，但我們卻看到些木版的《全體新論》和《化學(xué)衛(wèi)生論》之類了。我還記得先前的醫(yī)生的議論和方藥，和現(xiàn)在所知道的比較起來，便漸漸的悟得中醫(yī)不過是一種有意的或無意的騙子，同時(shí)又很起了對(duì)于被騙的病人和他的家族的同情;而且從譯出的歷史上，又知道了日本維新是大半發(fā)端于西方醫(yī)學(xué)的事實(shí)。

These inklings took me to a medical college in the Japanese countryside. It was my fine dream that on my return to China I would cure patients like my father who had suffered from the wrong treatment， while if war broke out I would serve as an army doctor， at the same time promoting my countrymen’s faith in reform.

I have no idea what improved methods are now used to teach microbiology， but in those days we were shown lantern slides of microbes;and if the lecture ended early， the instructor might show slides of natural scenery or news to fill up the time. Since this was during the Russo-Japanese War， there were many war slides， and I had to join in the clapping and cheering in the lecture hall along with the other students. It was a long time since I had seen the compatriots， but one day I saw a news reel slide of a number of Chinese， one of them bound and the rest standing around him. They were all sturdy fellows but appeared completely apathetic. According to the commentary， the one with his hands bound was a spy working for the Russians who was to be beheaded by the Japanese military as a warning to others， while the Chinese beside him had come to enjoy the spectacle.

Before the term was over I had left for Tokyo， because this slide convinced me that medical science was not so important after all. The people of a weak and backward country， however strong and healthy they might be， could only serve to be made examples of or as witnesses of suchfutile spectacles; and it was not necessarily deplorable if many of them died of illness. The most important thing， therefore， was to change their spirit;and since at that time I felt that literature was the best means to this end， I decided to promote a literary movement. There were many Chinese students in Tokyo studying law， political science， physics and chemistry，even police work and engineering， but not one studying literature and art. However， even in this uncongenial atmosphere I was fortunate enough to find some kindred spirits. We gathered the few others we needed and after discussion our first step， of course， was to publish a magazine， the title of which denoted that this was a new birth. As we were then rather classically inclined， we called it Vita Nova (New Life).

因?yàn)檫@些幼稚的知識(shí)，后來便使我的學(xué)籍列在日本一個(gè)鄉(xiāng)間的醫(yī)學(xué)專門學(xué)校里了。我的夢(mèng)很美滿，預(yù)備卒業(yè)回來，救治像我父親似的被誤的病人的疾苦，戰(zhàn)爭時(shí)候便去當(dāng)軍醫(yī)，一面又促進(jìn)了國人對(duì)于維新的信仰。我已不知道教授微生物學(xué)的方法，現(xiàn)在又有了怎樣的進(jìn)步了，總之那時(shí)是用了電影，來顯示微生物的形狀的，因此有時(shí)講義的一段落已完，而時(shí)間還沒有到，教師便映些風(fēng)景或時(shí)事的畫片給學(xué)生看，以用去這多余的光陰。其時(shí)正當(dāng)日俄戰(zhàn)爭的時(shí)候，關(guān)于戰(zhàn)事的畫片自然也就比較的多了，我在這一個(gè)講堂中，便須常常隨喜我那同學(xué)們的拍手和喝采。有一回，我竟在畫片上忽然會(huì)見我久違的許多中國人了，一個(gè)綁在中間，許多站在左右，一樣是強(qiáng)壯的體格，而顯出麻木的神情。據(jù)解說，則綁著的是替俄國做了軍事上的偵探，正要被日軍砍下頭顱來示眾，而圍著的便是來賞鑒這示眾的盛舉的人們。

這一學(xué)年沒有完畢，我已經(jīng)到了東京了，因?yàn)閺哪且换匾院?，我便覺得醫(yī)學(xué)并非一件緊要事，凡是愚弱的國民，即使體格如何健全，如何茁壯，也只能做毫無意義的示眾的材料和看客，病死多少是不必以為不幸的。所以我們的第一要著，是在改變他們的精神，而善于改變精神的是，我那時(shí)以為當(dāng)然要推文藝，于是想提倡文藝運(yùn)動(dòng)了。在東京的留學(xué)生很有學(xué)法政理化以至警察工業(yè)的，但沒有人治文學(xué)和美術(shù);可是在冷淡的空氣中，也幸而尋到幾個(gè)同志了，此外又邀集了必須的幾個(gè)人，商量之后，第一步當(dāng)然是出雜志，名目是取“新的生命”的意思，因?yàn)槲覀兡菚r(shí)大抵帶些復(fù)古的傾向，所以只謂之《新生》。

When the time for publication drew near， some of our contributors dropped out and then our funds ran out， until there were only three of us left and we were penniless. Since we had started our venture at an unlucky hour， there was naturally no one to whom we could complain when we failed; but later even we three were destined to part， and our discussions of a future dream world had to cease. So ended this abortive Vita Nova.

Only later did I feel the futility of it all. At that time I had not a clue. Later it seemed to me that if a man’s proposals met with approval， that should encourage him to advance; if they met with opposition， that should make him fight back; but the real tragedy was for him to lift up his voice among the living and meet with no response， neither approval nor opposition， just as if he were stranded in a boundless desert completely at a loss. That was when I became conscious of loneliness.

And this sense of loneliness grew from day to day， entwining itself about my soul like some huge poisonous snake.

But in spite of my groundless sadness， I felt no indignation; for this experience had made me reflect and see that I was definitely not the type of hero who could rally multitudes at his call.

However， my loneliness had to be dispelled because it was causing me agony. So I used various means to dull my senses， to immerse myself among my fellow nationals and to turn to the past. Later I experienced or witnessed even greater loneliness and sadness which I am unwilling to recall，preferring that it should perish with my mind in toe dust. Still my attempt to deaden my senses was not unsuccessful—I lost the enthusiasm and fervour of my youth.

《新生》的出版之期接近了，但最先就隱去了若干擔(dān)當(dāng)文字的人，接著又逃走了資本，結(jié)果只剩下不名一錢的三個(gè)人。創(chuàng)始時(shí)候既已背時(shí)，失敗時(shí)候當(dāng)然無可告語，而其后卻連這三個(gè)人也都為各自的運(yùn)命所驅(qū)策，不能在一處縱談將來的好夢(mèng)了，這就是我們的并未產(chǎn)生的《新生》的結(jié)局。

我感到未嘗經(jīng)驗(yàn)的無聊，是自此以后的事。我當(dāng)初是不知其所以然的;后來想，凡有一人的主張，得了贊和，是促其前進(jìn)的，得了反對(duì)，是促其奮斗的，獨(dú)有叫喊于生人中，而生人并無反應(yīng)，既非贊同，也無反對(duì)，如置身毫無邊際的荒原，無可措手的了，這是怎樣的悲哀呵，我于是以我所感到者為寂寞。

這寂寞又一天一天的長大起來，如大毒蛇，纏住了我的靈魂了。

然而我雖然自有無端的悲哀，卻也并不憤懣，因?yàn)檫@經(jīng)驗(yàn)使我反省，看見自己了：就是我決不是一個(gè)振臂一呼應(yīng)者云集的英雄。

只是我自己的寂寞是不可不驅(qū)除的，因?yàn)檫@于我太痛苦。我于是用了種種法，來麻醉自己的靈魂，使我沉入于國民中，使我回到古代去，后來也親歷或旁觀過幾樣更寂寞更悲哀的事，都為我所不愿追懷，甘心使他們和我的腦一同消滅在泥土里的，但我的麻醉法卻也似乎已經(jīng)奏了功，再?zèng)]有青年時(shí)候的慷慨激昂的意思了。

In S— Hostel was a three-roomed house with a courtyard in which grew a locust tree， and it was said that a woman had hanged herself there. Although the tree had grown so tall that its branches were now out of reach，the rooms remained deserted. For some years I stayed here， copying ancient inscriptions. I had few visitors， the inscriptions raised no political problems or issues， and so the days slipped quietly away， which was all that I desired. On summer nights， when mosquitoes swarmed， I would sit under the locust tree waving my fan and looking at specks of blue sky through chinks in the thick foliage， while belated caterpillars would fall， icy-cold， on to my neck.

The only visitor to drop in occasionally for a talk was my old friend Jin Xinyi. Having put his big portfolio on the rickety table he would take off his long gown and sit down opposite me， looking as if his heart was still beating fast because he was afraid of dogs.

“What’s the use of copying these?” One night， while leafing through the inscriptions I had copied， he asked me for enlightenment on this point.

“There isn’t any use.”

“What’s the point， then， of copying them?”

“There isn’t any point.”

“Why don’t you write something?...”

I understood. They were bringing out New Youth， but since there did not seem to have been any reaction， favourable or otherwise， no doubt they felt lonely. However I said：

Imagine an iron house having not a single window and virtually indestructible， with all its inmates sound asleep and about to die of suffocation. Dying in their sleep， they won’t feel the pain of death. Now if you raise a shout to wake a few of the lighter sleepers， making these unfortunate few suffer the agony of irrevocable death， do you really think you are doing them a good turn?”

“But if a few wake up. You can’t say there is no hope of destroying the iron house.”

S會(huì)館里有三間屋，相傳是往昔曾在院子里的槐樹上縊死過一個(gè)女人的，現(xiàn)在槐樹已經(jīng)高不可攀了，而這屋還沒有人住;許多年，我便寓在這屋里鈔古碑?？椭猩儆腥藖恚疟幸灿霾坏绞裁磫栴}和主義，而我的生命卻居然暗暗的消去了，這也就是我惟一的愿望。夏夜，蚊子多了，便搖著蒲扇坐在槐樹下，從密葉縫里看那一點(diǎn)一點(diǎn)的青天，晚出的槐蠶又每每冰冷的落在頭頸上。

那時(shí)偶或來談的是一個(gè)老朋友金心異，將手提的大皮夾放在破桌上，脫下長衫，對(duì)面坐下了，因?yàn)榕鹿?，似乎心房還在怦怦的跳動(dòng)。

“你鈔了這些有什么用?”有一夜，他翻著我那古碑的鈔本，發(fā)了研究的質(zhì)問了。

“沒有什么用。”

“那么，你鈔他是什么意思呢?”

“沒有什么意思。”

“我想，你可以做點(diǎn)文章…”

我懂得他的意思了，他們正辦《新青年》，然而那時(shí)仿佛不特沒有人來贊同，并且也還沒有人來反對(duì)，我想，他們?cè)S是感到寂寞了，但是說：

“假如一間鐵屋子，是絕無窗戶而萬難破毀的，里面有許多熟睡的人們，不久都要悶死了，然而是從昏睡入死滅，并不感到就死的悲哀?，F(xiàn)在你大嚷起來，驚起了較為清醒的幾個(gè)人，使這不幸的少數(shù)者來受無可挽救的臨終的苦楚，你倒以為對(duì)得起他們么?”

True， in spite of my own conviction， I could not blot out hope， for hope belongs to the future. I had no negative evidence able to refute his affirmation of faith. So I finally agreed to write， and the result was my first story “A Madman’s Diary.” And once started I could not give up but would write some sort of short story from time to time to humour my friends， until I had written more than a dozen of them.

As far as I am concerned， I no longer feel any great urge to express myself; yet， perhaps because I have not forgotten the grief of my past loneliness， I sometimes call out to encourage those fighters who are galloping on in loneliness， so that they do not lose heart. Whether my cry is brave or sad， repellent or ridiculous， I do not care. However， since this is a call to arms I must naturally obey my general’s orders. This is why I often resort to innuendoes， as when I made a wreath appear from nowhere at the son’s grave in “Medicine，” while in “Tomorrow” I did not say that Fourth Shan’s Wife never dreamed of her little boy. For our chiefs in those days were against pessimism. And I， for my part， did not want to infect with the loneliness which I had found so bitter those young people who were still dreaming pleasant dreams， just as I had done when young.

It is clear， then， that my stories fall far short of being works of art; hence I must at least count myself fortunate that they are still known as stories and are even being brought out in one volume. Although such good fortune makes me uneasy， it still pleases me to think that they have readers in the world of men， for the time being at any rate.

So now that these stories of mine are being reprinted in one collection，for the reasons given above I have chosen to entitle it Call to Arms.

Beijing

3-Dec-22

“然而幾個(gè)人既然起來，你不能說決沒有毀壞這鐵屋的希望。”

是的，我雖然自有我的確信，然而說到希望，卻是不能抹殺的，因?yàn)橄Ｍ窃谟趯?，決不能以我之必?zé)o的證明，來折服了他之所謂可有，于是我終于答應(yīng)他也做文章了，這便是最初的一篇《狂人日記》。從此以后，便一發(fā)而不可收，每寫些小說模樣的文章，以敷衍朋友們的囑托，積久就有了十余篇。

在我自己，本以為現(xiàn)在是已經(jīng)并非一個(gè)切迫而不能已于言的人了，但或者也還未能忘懷于當(dāng)日自己的寂寞的悲哀罷，所以有時(shí)候仍不免吶喊幾聲，聊以慰藉那在寂寞里奔馳的猛士，使他不憚?dòng)谇膀?qū)。至于我的喊聲是勇猛或是悲哀，是可憎或是可笑，那倒是不暇顧及的;但既然是吶喊，則當(dāng)然須聽將令的了，所以我往往不恤用了曲筆，在《藥》的瑜兒的墳上平空添上一個(gè)花環(huán)，在《明天》里也不敘單四嫂子竟沒有做到看見兒子的夢(mèng)，因?yàn)槟菚r(shí)的主將是不主張消極的。至于自己，卻也并不愿將自以為苦的寂寞，再來傳染給也如我那年青時(shí)候似的正做著好夢(mèng)的青年。

這樣說來，我的小說和藝術(shù)的距離之遠(yuǎn)，也就可想而知了，然而到今日還能蒙著小說的名，甚而至于且有成集的機(jī)會(huì)，無論如何總不能不說是一件僥幸的事，但僥幸雖使我不安于心，而懸揣人間暫時(shí)還有讀者，則究竟也仍然是高興的。

所以我竟將我的短篇小說結(jié)集起來，而且付印了，又因?yàn)樯厦嫠f的緣由，便稱之為《吶喊》。

一九二二年十二月三日，魯迅記于北京。