Section B
Should I Have a Gun?
I own a black gun with a brown handle. It holds five bullets and stays loaded by my bed.
I've always advocated gun control; the odd thing is I still do. It wasn't ignorance of crime statistics that previously kept me from owning a gun nor thinking I was immune to violence.
1. What is the purpose for the writer to have a loaded gun since she is in favor of gun control?
I assumed because I didn't believe in violence, because I wasn't violent, I wouldn't be affected by violence. I believed my belief in the best of human nature could make it real.
I should transport the gun from my residence to my vehicle, but I don't. What the gun is capable of, what it is intended for, still frightens me more than what it may prevent. If I carry my gun and I am attacked, I must use it to kill, not just injure.
2. Why did the writer choose not to take her gun along with her since she has her gun loaded?
I have confronted an attacker in my imagination, not in reality. A man is walking down the street. I lock my car and walk to my apartment with my key ready. Before I reach the door, I think I hear a voice say, money. Before I open the door I hear a voice and turn to see the man with a gun.
He is frightened. I am frightened I will scare him and he will shoot, or I will give him my money and he will still shoot. I am also angry because a gun is pointed at me by someone I've never met and never hurt.
Something makes me uncomfortable about this imagined robbery, something I don't want to admit, something I almost intentionally omitted because I am ashamed.
3. What, do you think, is the something that makes the writer feel uncomfortable?
I understand why I imagined being robbed by a man: They're physically more dominating and I've never heard of anyone being robbed by a female.
But why is he a black man? Why is he a Negro male with a worn T-shirt and shining eyes? Why is he not a white man?
4. Why is it that the writer's imagined robber is always a man and especially a black man?
I imagine standing in a gas station on Claiborne and Jackson waiting to pay the cashier when a black man walks up behind me. I do not turn around. I stare ahead waiting to pay. I try not to reveal I feel anxiety just because a black man has walked up behind me in a gas station in a bad neighborhood and he does not have a car.
5. What does a bad neighborhood mean here?
I imagine another possibility. I am walking with my gun in my hand when I hear the voice. The man mustn't have seen my gun. I get angry because I am threatened, because someone is endangering my life for the money in my pocket.
I turn and without really thinking, angry and frightened, I shoot. I kill a man for $50 or perhaps $100. It doesn't matter that he was trying to rob me. A man has died for money, not my money or his money, just money. Who put that price on his life?
6. What is the writer's level of comfort with killing a robber in self-defense?
I remember driving one night with my friend in her parents' automobile. We stopped at a red light at Carlton and Tulane where a black man was crossing the street in front of us. My friend automatically locked the doors.
I am disgusted she saw the man as a reminder to lock her doors. I wonder if he noticed us doing so. I wonder how it feels when people lock their doors at the sight of you.
7. What does the writer intend to say when she finds her friend locking the doors at the sight of a black man?
I imagine another confrontation in front of my apartment. I have my gun when a man asks for money. I am angry and scared, but I do not use the gun. I fear what may happen if I don't use it, but am more afraid of killing another human being, more afraid of trying to live with the guilt of murdering another person. I bet my life that he will take my money and leave. I hope I win.
8. What does "I hope I win" mean?
Now I enter a gasoline station near my house. A black man is already waiting in line. He jumps and turns around. Seeing me, he relaxes and says I scared him because of the way things have become in this neighborhood.
Sorry, I say and smile. I realize I'm not the only one who is frightened.
Words: 700
NEW WORDS
handle
n. a part of something that is used for holding or opening it 柄,把手
vt. deal with or control 處理,處置,操縱
bullet
n. a small rounded piece of metal with a pointed end that is fired from a gun 槍彈,子彈
advocate
vt. advise or say that you support a particular plan or action 主張,擁護(hù),提倡
n. a person who supports a particular plan or action, especially in public 擁護(hù)者,提倡者
odd
a. strange; unusual; peculiar 奇怪的;奇特的
ignorance
n. lack of information or knowledge 無知,不知
crime
n. wrong moral behavior in general; something which is against the law 罪,罪行
statistics
n. 1. collected information shown in numbers 統(tǒng)計(jì)資料;統(tǒng)計(jì)
2. (with singular v.) the science of collecting and examining these numbers for patterns 統(tǒng)計(jì)學(xué)
previous
a. coming or happening before or earlier 以前的,先前的
previously
ad. before the present time 以前,先前(地)
violence
n. great roughness and force, especially that destroys, injures or damages 暴力(行為),強(qiáng)暴(行為),猛烈
violent
a. having, using, or showing great force 暴力的,強(qiáng)暴的,猛烈的
affect
vt. 1. influence or cause sb./ sth. to change in a particular way 影響
2. cause sb. to feel very sad, angry, etc.(在感情方面)打動(dòng),震動(dòng)
transport
vt. move sb./ sth. from one place to another (in a vehicle) 運(yùn)送,搬運(yùn)
residence
n. a person's home; the grand house of someone important 住處,住宅,大宅
capable
a. 1. having the ability of or quality for doing sth. 能……的,有……能力的
2. having (especially practical) ability; able 有能力的;有才能的
intend
v. 1. plan, mean or make sth. for a particular person or purpose (為……而)準(zhǔn)備,打算使……成為
2. plan or mean to do sth. 想要,打算,計(jì)劃
injure
vt. harm or hurt a person, an animal or part of the body 傷害,損害
confront
vt. 1. face or meet an enemy, difficulty, etc. 與……相對(duì),面臨,遭遇
2. make sb. face or consider someone or something unpleasant, difficult, etc. 使面對(duì),使面臨,使當(dāng)面作證
imagination
n. something only existing or happening in the mind, not in physical life 想像力,想像的事物
reality
n. that which is actual or physical and not imagined 現(xiàn)實(shí),實(shí)際
apartment
n. 1. a room 房間
2. a flat; a set of rooms for living in 一套公寓房間
intention
n. what someone intends or means to do; a plan or purpose 意圖,打算,目的
intentionally
ad. on purpose; not by chance 故意地,有意地
omit
vt. not include something 排除,省略
dominate
vt. have control over (a place or a person), or be the most important person or thing 支配,統(tǒng)治,在……中占首要地位
female
n. & a. a woman or a girl; an animal that can produce babies from its own body 女性(的); 雌性動(dòng)物
Negro
n. (offensive) a person belonging to, or born from, the black-skinned races of Africa (含岐視意味)黑人,具有黑人血統(tǒng)的人
male
n. & a. a man or a boy; an animal that cannot have babies 男性(的);雄性動(dòng)物
gas
n. 1. (=gasoline) the liquid that is used as fuel for motor vehicles such as cars and airplanes 汽油
2. a form of matter that is like air 氣,氣體
cashier
n. the person in a bank, shop, gas station, etc. that customers pay money to or get money from 出納員,收銀員
reveal
vt. make sth. known; show; allow to be seen 揭示,展現(xiàn),使顯露
anxiety
n. a feeling of worry or fear 焦慮,擔(dān)憂
neighborhood (英neighbourhood)
n. a particular part of a town and the people who live there 地段,地區(qū),居民點(diǎn)
possibility
n. something that might happen or be true; something that is possible; the state of being possible 可能的事,可能的情況;可能(性)
automobile (縮auto)
n. a car 汽車
automatic
a. 1. (used about a machine) that can work by itself without direct human control 自動(dòng)的,以自動(dòng)裝置完成的
2. (used about actions) done without thinking or like a machine 不經(jīng)思索的,機(jī)械的
automatically
ad. 1. without thinking about what is being done 不加思索地,無意識(shí)地
2. by the action of a machine, without a person making it work 自動(dòng)地
guilt
n. 1. the feeling of haveing done sth. wrong 內(nèi)疚
2. the fact of having broken a law 罪,犯罪
guilty
a. 1. having broken a law; being responsible for doing sth. wrong 有罪的;證明(或判決)有罪的
2. showing or having the feeling of having done sth. wrong 自知有過失的,內(nèi)疚的
bet
v. 1. risk money on the result of a race, game, match, or a future event 以(錢、物等)打賭
2. be very certain 確信,敢說
gasoline
n. the liquid that is used as fuel for motor vehicles such as cars and airplanes 汽油
PHRASES AND EXPRESSIONS
be immune to
not be affected by 不受……影響的,對(duì)……有免疫力的
believe in
consider (sth.) to be of worth or to be true; have faith or trust in 相信……可行,相信……的真實(shí)性,信任,信仰
be capable of
be able to do 有能力做,能做
hear of
learn about; gain information about 聽說
in front of
in a position further forward than but close to sb./ sth.; in the company of sb. 在……前面;在……面前
at the sight of
when seeing 一看見
PROPER NAMES
Claiborne
克萊爾本街(地名)
Jackson
杰克遜街(地名)
Carlton
卡爾頓街(地名)
Tulane
圖蘭街(地名)
我應(yīng)持槍嗎?
我有一支黑色手槍,手柄是棕色的。手槍就擱在我的床頭,里面裝著五顆子彈,并且總是上了膛的。
我一貫主張控制槍支,奇怪的是我現(xiàn)在依然主張控制槍支。以前我沒有槍,并不是因?yàn)槲覍?duì)有關(guān)犯罪的統(tǒng)計(jì)資料不了解,也不是因?yàn)槲易哉J(rèn)為可以不受暴力的襲擊。
以前我認(rèn)為自己不相信暴力,我自己也不粗暴,所以我不會(huì)受到暴力的侵襲。我還認(rèn)為我對(duì)人性本善的信念會(huì)使這一假想成為現(xiàn)實(shí)。
我應(yīng)該把槍從住所帶到車上,但是我沒有。這支槍的功能,以及使用它的目的比用它所能阻止的事件更讓我感到恐懼。 如果我?guī)е鴺尩臅r(shí)候遭到了襲擊,那我就必須用它來殺人,而不僅僅是傷人。
我曾想象自己遭遇歹徒的襲擊,不是真的遇到此事。一個(gè)男子正在街上走。我鎖上車,朝公寓走去,拿著鑰匙準(zhǔn)備開門。 還沒有走到門口,我覺得我聽到一個(gè)聲音在說, "錢。" 在我打開門之前我又聽到了一個(gè)聲音,然后我轉(zhuǎn)過身,看到了那個(gè)持槍的人。
他很害怕。我害怕我會(huì)嚇著他,從而致使他朝我開槍,我還擔(dān)心我把錢給他以后,他仍然會(huì)朝我開槍。 我同樣也很生氣,因?yàn)槟鞘且粋€(gè)我從未見過、也從未傷害過的人在用槍指著我。
我想象的這起搶劫中有某種令我不安的東西,這是我不愿承認(rèn)的東西,這是被我因?yàn)樾呃⒍幸馐∪サ臇|西。
我明白我為什么會(huì)想象自己遭到一個(gè)男子的搶劫:他們?cè)谏眢w上占有優(yōu)勢(shì),而且我也從沒聽說有誰遭到過一個(gè)女人的搶劫。
但為什么這個(gè)人是個(gè)黑人呢?為什么是個(gè)穿著破舊T恤, 雙眼發(fā)亮的黑種男子呢?為什么他不是個(gè)白人?
我想象當(dāng)我站在克萊爾本街和杰克遜街拐角處的一個(gè)加油站等待付款時(shí),一個(gè)黑人從我身后走來。 我沒有回頭,而是正眼朝前看,等著付款。我盡量不表現(xiàn)出自己的焦慮,而這種焦慮的產(chǎn)生僅僅是因?yàn)樵谝粋€(gè)位于名聲不好的街區(qū)的加油站有一個(gè)黑人從我身后走來,而且他沒有汽車。
我又想象另一種可能性。當(dāng)我聽見那個(gè)聲音時(shí),我正帶著槍在街上走。那人一定沒看見我的槍。 我很生氣,因?yàn)槲沂艿搅送{,因?yàn)橛腥藶榱说玫轿铱诖锏腻X而危及著我的生命。
于是我轉(zhuǎn)過身,既憤怒又恐懼,還未及細(xì)想就開了槍。我也許只是因?yàn)槲迨蛞话倜涝蜌⒘艘粋€(gè)人。 他曾試圖搶劫我,可這一點(diǎn)并不重要。一個(gè)人因?yàn)殄X而死,不一定是我的錢或者是他的錢,就是錢。是誰給他的生命如此標(biāo)價(jià)的呢?
我記得有一個(gè)晚上和朋友一起開著她父母的車停在了卡爾頓街和圖蘭街交叉的紅燈前,這時(shí)有一個(gè)黑人在我們前面橫穿馬路。 我的朋友便不由自主地鎖上了車門。
我很討厭她一看到那人就鎖上車門的舉動(dòng)。不知他是否注意到了我們這一舉動(dòng)。不知當(dāng)別人一看到你就鎖上車門,那會(huì)是一種什么樣的感覺。
我又設(shè)想另外一種在我的公寓前遭遇歹徒的情景。當(dāng)一個(gè)人向我要錢時(shí)我正帶著槍。 我很生氣又很害怕,但我沒有用槍。我害怕在我不使用槍的情況下可能發(fā)生的事情,但我更害怕殺死別人,更害怕在因?yàn)闅⒘巳硕夹脑馐軣o盡的譴責(zé)中活著。 于是我以生命做賭注,希望他拿了我的錢以后離開。但愿我能贏。
現(xiàn)在我走進(jìn)了我家附近的一家加油站。一個(gè)黑人已經(jīng)在排隊(duì)等侯。他突然跳起來并轉(zhuǎn)過身,在看見我以后才放松下來,對(duì)我說我嚇著他了,因?yàn)檫@一帶常出事。
"對(duì)不起,"我微笑著說。我意識(shí)到了:擔(dān)驚受怕的并不只是我一個(gè)人。