Is it worse to be called lazy or smelly?

被抱怨懶或是臭，哪一樣更糟?

In personal interactions in Japan, it’s common for people to avoid confrontations rather than charge into them. On top of that, mainstream attitudes generally work out so that women are, on average, more accommodating and deferential than men.

在日本的人際交往中，人們通常會(huì)避免與他人發(fā)生沖突，以免讓自己陷入麻煩。加之，主流觀念的影響十分深遠(yuǎn)，一般來說，相比于男性，女性整體更加隨和、順從。

That doesn’t mean that married life in Japan is all “I have prepared your supper, Honored Husband,” and “Shall I draw you a bath?” though. When their displeasure passes a certain threshold, Japanese women are as capable of spitting angry fire at their spouses as anyone else.

但這并不意味著日本人的婚后生活中每天都會(huì)上演“親愛的老公，晚飯已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備好了”、“需要我為你搓澡嗎?”之類的橋段。當(dāng)日本女性的不滿情緒超過自己的底線時(shí)，她們和別人一樣都會(huì)向自己的配偶發(fā)泄心中的憤怒。

But which particular brands of vitriol burn the worst? To find out, Internet portal R25 polled 200 Japanese men between the ages of 20 and 39, presenting them with a list of 23 commonly voiced complaints from frustrated wives, and asked them to pick the ones that would hurt the most to hear. Each respondent’s top selection received three points, with two points going to his second pick and one to his third.

那么，究竟哪句刻薄話最傷人呢?為了找到答案，一家互聯(lián)網(wǎng)門戶網(wǎng)站R25在200名20至39歲的日本男性中展開了民意調(diào)查。該網(wǎng)站列出了一份清單，上面寫著情緒沮喪的妻子通常會(huì)說的23句抱怨話，然后發(fā)給每位受訪者，讓他們各自選出最為傷人的幾句話。每個(gè)人的第一選擇得三分、第二得兩分、第三選擇得一分。

Let’s take a look at the top 10:

讓我們來看看排行前十位：

10 “Stop wasting so much money on things you don’t need!”(26 points)

第十名. “不要把這么多錢浪費(fèi)在你不需要的東西上!”(26分)

In many Japanese households, the husband turns his paycheck over to his wife, who manages the family finances. She in turn gives him an allowance to spend, but as with any limit, there’s sometimes going to be pressure to stay well under it.

在大多數(shù)日本家庭中，丈夫會(huì)把自己的薪水交給妻子，所以妻子掌握著家里的財(cái)政大權(quán)。反過來，她也會(huì)給丈夫零用錢，但是零用錢也有上限，有時(shí)候妻子就會(huì)向丈夫施加壓力，讓他省著點(diǎn)花。

9. “Stop being such a lazy fatso!”(28 points)

第九名. “不要再做懶胖子啦!”(28分)

It’s not unusual for people to put on a few pounds as they get older, and all the beers at those company drinking sessions aren’t exactly low-calorie beverages. Still, such a harsh indictment of weight-gain is going overboard in the eyes of some respondents, including one who called it “cold-hearted.”

隨著年齡的增加，加上公司酒水間提供的啤酒都不是真正的低卡飲料，體重增加是再平常不過的事情了。對(duì)于妻子關(guān)于“長(zhǎng)胖”的刻薄控訴，一些受訪者認(rèn)為是難以接受的，甚至有人說這話講得有些“無情”。

8. “I don’t want to share a grave with you!”(33 points)

第八名. “我才不要跟你埋在一起!”(33分)

Rather than having individual final resting places, Japanese families share a monument where their ashes are entombed. The family distinction is done by marriage, not birth, and since the traditional attitude is that the wife marries into the husband’s family, her remains will be placed in the same grave as his when the time comes, to be together for all eternity. Finding out your wife isn’t interested in being along for that ride would, therefore, be a pretty big shock.

比起用一個(gè)單獨(dú)的安息地，日本家庭更傾向于共用一個(gè)掩埋骨灰的墓地。日本家庭是依據(jù)婚后家庭，而不是出生家庭來定義的。而且，按照日本傳統(tǒng)觀念，女方嫁入男方家庭后，她在去世之后骨灰將和丈夫的骨灰放入同一個(gè)墳?zāi)怪?，這樣夫妻二人就能永遠(yuǎn)在一起。因此，當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的妻子并不愿意和你死后共埋一方，這可是個(gè)相當(dāng)大的打擊。

7. “At least take care of the dishes after we eat dinner!”(39 points)

第七名. “吃完飯你至少洗一下碗吧!”(39分)

Assuming that your wife made said dinner, then yeah, it would be pretty embarrassing to have her call you out for limiting your involvement in the meal to strictly the “eating” part. Can’t say she doesn’t have a point, though.

試想一下，你的妻子做好了飯菜，然后她赤裸裸地揭露了你想吃完就走的心態(tài)，這還是挺尷尬的。盡管她提出的要求不無道理。

6. “Take care of the cooking once in a while!”(43 points)

第六名. “你好歹做一頓飯呀!”(43分)

“I wouldn’t be able to understand her thinking, since she knows I can’t cook,” offered one participant by way of excuse. Honestly though, dude, it’s not that hard to boil some pasta and open a jar of premade spaghetti sauce.

一位受訪者回應(yīng)了這么一個(gè)托辭：“她明明知道我不會(huì)做飯還這么說，我真不能理解她到底是怎么想的。”不過，說實(shí)話，伙計(jì)，煮一些意大利面，然后拌上一點(diǎn)現(xiàn)成的罐裝意大利面醬，這不是很難吧?

5. “Show more appreciation for the things I do!” (85 points)

第五名. “為我所做的事情你該表示一些感謝呀!”(85分)

At first this seems like a surprisingly high ranking for a situation that sounds like it should be more hurtful for the wife, but the men who selected this response predicated it on the fact that they do, in fact, feel a deep gratitude towards their better halves. “It would hurt to know those feelings aren’t coming across,” explained one man.

這句話排名如此靠前，一開始令人感到吃驚，因?yàn)檫@句話聽起來傷得更深的應(yīng)該是妻子那一方。但選擇這句話的男士回應(yīng)稱，實(shí)際上，他們確實(shí)對(duì)自己的妻子心存感激。一位男士解釋道：“當(dāng)知道妻子并不能感受到自己的感激之情時(shí)，讓人很心碎。”

4. “If we didn’t have kids, I’d totally have divorced you by now!”(97 points)

第四名,“要不是我們有了孩子，我現(xiàn)在早就和你離婚了!”(97分)

“That would have me thinking we should split up,” said one respondent. Another was slightly less calm, asserting “There are some things you’re just not supposed to say!”

一名男性回應(yīng)稱：“這話真會(huì)讓我產(chǎn)生離婚的念頭”。另一位男性就沒有這么淡定，宣稱“有些話你就不該說出口!”

3. “I made a huge mistake marrying you!”(166 points)

第三名,“嫁給你我真是瞎了眼了!”(166分)

Yep, that would sting. “I don’t think I’d be able to say anything at all in response,” one participant imagined.

是的，這句話著實(shí)傷人。一名男士回應(yīng)：“我都想不出我能回?fù)粢痪涫裁丛挕?rdquo;

2. “You stink!”(201 points)

第二名. “你渾身臭烘烘的”(201分)

And no, this isn’t to say that the husband is poor at some task or skill set, but that he just plain smells bad. Thankfully, this complaint can usually be avoided by applying soap, shampoo, and deodorant before it becomes an issue. For those with a health issue-caused body odor, though, or who work in an industry or environment where they can’t avoid coming home with an unpleasant scent stuck to their hair and skin, this has to be tough to hear.

這不合理呀，這話并不是在抱怨你丈夫在某方面任務(wù)完成得不好或技能上很遜色，而僅僅只是他身上的氣味難聞。謝天謝地，通常只要多用點(diǎn)香皂、洗發(fā)水、除臭劑，身上就不會(huì)發(fā)出難聞的氣味了，妻子們也就不會(huì)抱怨了的。但是，如果丈夫是因?yàn)樯眢w狀態(tài)發(fā)出的體臭，或者，丈夫工作場(chǎng)所不可避免的難聞氣味滲入了發(fā)膚，回家臭烘烘的，妻子說這話確實(shí)難聽。

1. “Earn more money!”(230 points)

第一名 “多賺點(diǎn)錢” (230分)

Even though more Japanese women are working now than in previous generations, there’s still a societal expectation for a married man to be the breadwinner, and often once children enter the picture, the wife will quit her job to take care of them full-time. As such, it’s not entirely unreasonable for Japanese wives to be concerned about the income their husband brings into the household. But since Japan is already a notoriously hard-working society, being told that you’re still not doing enough to get ahead can hit a guy right where it hurts.

盡管現(xiàn)在日本工作的女性相較于之前大有增加，但社會(huì)上仍然存在一種觀念：已婚男性就應(yīng)該賺錢養(yǎng)家，而且，一旦家里有了小孩，妻子就要辭去工作當(dāng)全職太太，照顧小孩。正因如此，對(duì)日本家庭主婦來說，她們?nèi)绱岁P(guān)心自己丈夫給家庭帶來的收入并不是沒有道理的。但由于日本社會(huì)本來就以工作拼命而著稱，當(dāng)被人說自己還不夠努力地往上爬，男性會(huì)覺得有損男子漢尊嚴(yán)。

“It would damage my pride as a man,” one respondent succinctly explained, and we imagine that would go double if it were combined with complaint #10.

一位受訪者簡(jiǎn)單地解釋道：“這話有損我作為男人的尊嚴(yán)。”試想一下，如果同時(shí)說這句話和排名第十的話，殺傷力肯定翻倍。