趣談?dòng)?guó)：你不得不知的社交距離法則

Among the English, gossip about one’s own private doings is reserved for intimates; gossip about the private lives of friends and family is shared with a slightly wider social circle; gossip about the personal affairs of acquaintances, colleagues and neighbours with a larger group; and gossip about the intimate details of public figures’ or celebrities’ lives with almost anyone. This is the distance rule. The more ‘distant’ from you the subject of gossip, the wider the circle of people with whom you may gossip about that person.

在英國(guó)人當(dāng)中，個(gè)人隱私一般只在親密朋友之間討論;關(guān)于朋友及其家人的一些瑣事也只會(huì)在稍微寬一點(diǎn)的社交圈子里討論;熟人軼事、同事以及鄰居等話題可以在更廣的社交圈子里談?wù)?如果是某位名人的個(gè)人隱私，那么絕對(duì)是街知巷聞。這就是社交距離的規(guī)則。當(dāng)你和談?wù)搶?duì)象的距離越遠(yuǎn)時(shí)，你就會(huì)和更大的社交圈子的人談?wù)撍麄兊氖隆?/p>

The distance rule allows gossip to perform its vital social functions – social bonding;clarification of position and status; assessment and management of reputations;transmission of social skills, norms and values – without undue invasion of privacy. More importantly, it also allows nosey-parker anthropologists to formulate their prying questions in such a roundabout manner as to bypass the privacy rules.

社交距離規(guī)則有助于八卦在社會(huì)中發(fā)揮重要作用——建立社會(huì)關(guān)系;澄清觀點(diǎn)和地位;認(rèn)同和管理個(gè)人的名譽(yù);傳播社會(huì)技巧和社會(huì)術(shù)語(yǔ)以及社會(huì)價(jià)值觀。更重要的是，這些談資也讓那些喜歡窺探別人隱私的社會(huì)學(xué)家巧妙地達(dá)到目的，同時(shí)不侵犯別人的隱私。

If, for example, you want to find out about an English person’s attitudes and feelings on a sensitive subject, such as, say, marriage, you do not ask about his or her own marriage – you talk about someone else’s marriage, preferably that of a remote public figure not personally known to either of you. When you are better acquainted with the person, you can discuss the domestic difficulties of a colleague or neighbour, or perhaps even a friend or relative. (If you do not happen to have colleagues or relatives with suitably dysfunctional marriages, you can always invent these people.)

但是，如果你想了解一個(gè)英國(guó)人關(guān)于某項(xiàng)敏感的話題，比如說(shuō)婚姻，那么你就不能直接詢問(wèn)他自己的婚姻，而應(yīng)該嘗試談?wù)撈渌说幕橐?，最好是那些彼此都認(rèn)識(shí)的名人的婚姻。當(dāng)你和此人更熟后，你可以和他談?wù)撘恍┥磉呁禄蛘哙従拥募沂?，乃至是親友的問(wèn)題也無(wú)妨。(如果你的同事或者親戚沒(méi)有不正常的婚姻，你可以編造一些人。)