吃飯時你應(yīng)該問你的孩子5個問題

吃飯時你應(yīng)該問你的孩子5個問題

It’s time to eat. Where are the kids?

該吃飯了。孩子們在哪里?

Parents: Do you routinely sit down to family meals? Research suggests doing so may be beneficial, helping bolster kids’ social skills while improving their eating habits. An American Academy of Pediatrics report in the journal Pediatrics last year noted that regular family meals may help ensure adolescents eat more fruits and veggies, and are associated with a decreased risk of developing eating disorders, particularly for girls.

父母:你經(jīng)常坐下來和家人一起吃飯嗎?研究表明，這樣做可能是有益的，有助于增強孩子的社交能力，同時改善他們的飲食習(xí)慣。美國兒科學(xué)會(American Academy of Pediatrics)去年在《兒科》(Pediatrics)雜志上發(fā)表的一份報告指出，定期的家庭聚餐可能有助于確保青少年多吃水果和蔬菜，并與降低飲食失調(diào)的風(fēng)險有關(guān)，尤其是對女孩而言。

What is something interesting ( or difficult) you did today?

你今天做了什么有趣(或困難)的事?

While questions you ask will vary depending on your child’s age, this can be a great place to start. “Sharing what your child's day was like and what is important to them grows your relationship,” says Dr. Gail Saltz, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the Weill Cornell Medical College in New York City.

雖然你問的問題會因孩子的年齡而有所不同，但這是一個很好的開始。“分享你孩子的一天是什么樣的，以及對他們來說什么是重要的，會增進你們之間的關(guān)系，”紐約市威爾康奈爾醫(yī)學(xué)院(Weill Cornell Medical College)的精神病學(xué)臨床副教授蓋爾薩爾茨(Gail Saltz)博士說。

What's on your mind today?

今天你在想什么?

Make it clear your children can talk about anything and that you’ll listen. This is not conversational entrapment – getting a kid to spill the beans, only to come down on the child. Experts say it’s important kids feel understood, and can openly share whatever may be on their minds. The topics needn’t be serious or heavy, either.

明確你的孩子可以談?wù)撊魏问虑?，你會傾聽。這不是對話陷阱——讓一個孩子說漏嘴，結(jié)果卻落在孩子身上。專家表示，讓孩子感到被理解是很重要的，他們可以公開分享自己的想法。話題不必太嚴(yán)肅或沉重。

If your child relays difficulties he’s having with certain classes, tell him about subjects you struggled with. And share age-appropriate stories from your childhood.

如果你的孩子轉(zhuǎn)述他在某些課程上遇到的困難，告訴他你曾經(jīng)在課程上遇到的困難。分享你童年時代與年齡相符的故事。

Who did you sit with at lunch today?

今天你和誰坐在一起吃午飯?

Experts emphasize parents ask questions that can't be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” “The reason you need to ask specific questions is because otherwise you will get one-word answers that won't really let you know how your child is doing,” says Susan Bartell, a child psychologist with a practice in Port Washington, New York.

專家強調(diào)，對父母提出的問題，不能簡單地用“是”或“不是”來回答。在紐約華盛頓港工作的兒童心理學(xué)家蘇珊·巴特爾說:“你需要問一些具體問題的原因是，否則你得到的答案只有一個詞，而不能真正讓你知道你的孩子在做什么。”

“Kids and teens don't really want to make the effort to share the details of school, especially when some of the details may be upsetting, embarrassing or unpleasant.” She adds: “Don't grill your child, but if you hit on something that seems concerning (‘I sat alone at lunch’) it's important to follow up.”

“孩子們和青少年并不是真的想要分享學(xué)校的細(xì)節(jié)，尤其是當(dāng)一些可能會令人沮喪、尷尬或不愉快的細(xì)節(jié)的時候。她補充道:“不要拷問你的孩子，但如果你偶然發(fā)現(xiàn)了一些似乎令人擔(dān)憂的事情(比如‘我獨自一人吃午飯’)，追究下去是很重要的。”

Can I tell you about something crazy that happened to me today?

我能告訴你今天發(fā)生在我身上的一件瘋狂的事嗎?

“Kids are developmentally quite self-centered. Learning to care about others starts at home, but only if they are shown how to care about the lives of others,” Bartell says.

“孩子在成長過程中非常以自我為中心。學(xué)會關(guān)心他人始于家庭，但前提是要向他們展示如何關(guān)心他人的生活。

“It is up to you to show them that it is important that they care about your world. This not only teaches them to think beyond themselves, it also helps them feel good that you want them as an audience. In the same way, you can ask their opinions, especially as they get a bit older.”

“你要讓他們知道，關(guān)心你的世界是很重要的。這不僅教會他們超越自我思考，還能幫助他們感覺良好，因為你想讓他們成為你的聽眾。用同樣的方法，你可以問他們的意見，尤其是當(dāng)他們長大一點的時候。”