來，看看婚前協(xié)議怎么談

How to Negotiate a Prenup

來，看看婚前協(xié)議怎么談

Sometimes in the thick of a messy and awkward prenuptial agreement negotiation, Laura A. Wasser, a Los Angeles-based family lawyer, reminds her clients: “This is not someone you got into a fender bender with. This is someone you want to spend your life with.” So be nice, for starters. Wasser pushes clients to sign all the paperwork at least a month before the wedding, but she suggests broaching the subject much earlier. “Sit down to talk with a good bottle of wine, but don’t drink so much that you end up drunk and fighting,” she says. “Bring it up when things are good, not when you’re bickering.”

有時，在一場混亂而尷尬的婚前協(xié)議談判進(jìn)行到最激烈的階段，洛杉磯的家庭事務(wù)律師勞拉·A·瓦塞爾(Laura A. Wasser)會提醒客戶：“對方不是與你發(fā)生車禍糾紛的人，而是你想要共度一生的人。”所以，首先要友善。瓦塞爾強(qiáng)烈建議客戶在婚禮的至少一個月之前簽署所有的文件，而開始討論這個話題的時間更應(yīng)早得多。“坐下來伴著一瓶上好的葡萄酒來談，但別喝太多，免得最后喝醉了爭吵起來，”她說。“在氣氛愉快的時候提出這個話題，不要在發(fā)生口角的時候提。”

If the idea of a prenup does not go over well, blame someone else: your parents or, if you have lawyers and business managers, your advisers. Before you hire a lawyer, though, learn about your state’s marriage and divorce laws. “It is amazing how many people go into the contract of marriage — and it is a contract — without knowing the terms,” she says.

如果婚前協(xié)議的想法沒有得到良好反饋，就把責(zé)任怪到別人頭上：你的父母，或者，如果你有律師或業(yè)務(wù)經(jīng)理人的話，也可以推到他們這些顧問身上。不過，在聘請律師之前，首先要了解你所在州的婚姻和離婚方面的法律。“有太多人不了解條款就締結(jié)了婚姻的契約——這的確就是一份契約——這可真讓人不可思議。”

Keep your proposed arrangement simple. “You hear about prenups that say, ‘If you don’t lose the baby weight, I get to divorce you,’ or, ‘If you cheat on me, I get this much money,’ ” says Wasser, whose clients have included Angelina Jolie and Britney Spears. Her firm refuses to include so-called lifestyle clauses — curtailing visits from in-laws or how often you have sex — because they are largely unenforceable in court.

讓你提出的條件簡單明了。“有的婚前協(xié)議甚至?xí)f，‘如果你不減掉嬰兒肥，我就跟你離婚，’或者‘如果你對我不忠，我就會獲得多少錢，’”瓦瑟爾說。她的客戶包括安吉麗娜·朱莉(Angelina Jolie)和布蘭妮·斯皮爾斯(Britney Spears)。瓦瑟爾的律所拒絕在協(xié)議中納入所謂的“生活方式條款”——比如限制親家串門次數(shù)或是規(guī)定做愛的頻率——因?yàn)檫@些在法庭上基本無法執(zhí)行。

Even if you and your betrothed are penniless or view prenuptial agreements as a sordid elevation of capital over love, all couples should make the time to talk about the big questions that prenups answer up front. “Who is paying for what? How much do you save? Are you going to go back to work after you have children? What happens when one of us dies?”

即使你和未婚夫或未婚妻窮得身無分文，或者認(rèn)為婚前協(xié)議是把金錢置于愛情之上的丑陋之舉，所有的情侶也都應(yīng)該花時間談?wù)摶榍皡f(xié)議會直接解答的那些重要問題：“誰來負(fù)擔(dān)哪些開銷?存多少錢?女方生完孩子要繼續(xù)工作嗎?一方離世了該怎么辦?”