來自一位父親的10堂人生經(jīng)驗(yàn)課

6. It’s impossible to love someone who doesn’t love himself or herself.

不自愛的人也無法愛別人

When someone doesn’t love who they are, they pretend to be someone else, and others end up falling in love with their mask, instead of who they really are. To keep the affection they keep pretending and performing behind this mask.

不愛自己的人總是偽裝成別人，其他人愛上的是這層面具，不是真實(shí)的他們。他們需要不斷地保持偽裝的熱情，戴著面具過日子。

If you see these masked tendencies in someone you care about, confront them before it’s too late. Because if they lock themselves behind a mask for too long they will grow attached to it – it will become their comfort zone. They will begin to enjoy theimprisonment, and if you try removing their mask to remind them of the truth, they will feel like you’re robbing them of their dignity.

如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)關(guān)心的人中出現(xiàn)了這樣的傾向，趕緊面對(duì)他們。一旦他們把自己鎖在面具之下太久，他們就會(huì)不愿意出來——這里儼然成為了他們的保護(hù)殼。他們會(huì)開始享受囚禁的過程，如果你試圖去揭開面具帶著他們回到現(xiàn)實(shí)，他們反而會(huì)覺得你傷害了他們的自尊。

Bottom line: Self love is the greatest gift – to live and to teach. The best way to love someone is to help them love themselves.

總結(jié):自愛是最大的禮物——去生活，去教人。愛別人最好的方式就是幫助他們?nèi)圩约骸?/p>

7. It’s impossible to know exactly how another feels.

不可能知道別人真正的感受

The hearts and minds of others are mysterious, dense forests, always, no matter how deep into them you venture.

別人的心中和腦中所想都是神秘的，是濃密的森林。無論你多么了解一個(gè)人，你都無法真正明白。

Even if you have known a person for a hundred years, it is impossible to know exactly what they are feeling. You can’t feel something for them, or know exactly how their mind is processing something. You could invest every bit of your energy over the course of your entire life in an attempt to achieve this understanding, but in the end you will fall short.

即使你認(rèn)識(shí)這個(gè)人一百年了，也不可能完全知道他們的感受。你無法代替他們?nèi)ジ惺?，或是知道他們腦海中到底在想些什么。你可以窮盡一生的力量來達(dá)到這個(gè)地步，但最終你還是會(huì)失敗。

What you can do is be a friend who listens, supports, and loves openly without judgment. Only then will you get a momentary, unfiltered glimpse into their soul.

你可以做的就是和那些傾聽你，支持你和無條件愛你的人做朋友。這樣你才能在那一瞬間，得以瞥見他們的靈魂。

8. Connecting with your purpose brings great results.

有的放矢能帶來好結(jié)果

Don’t allow others to convince your heart what to do. Your heart already knows. Listen to it. Don’t let anyone else distinguish what is right or wrong for you. You’ve got to stand up for something specific, on your own two legs, or you will achieve nothing great in life.

別讓別人說服你該去干什么。你的心早有答案。跟隨自己的心。別讓其他人替你判別孰是孰非。你必須用自己兩條腿站起來，為了心中所想的那件特定的事努力，否則一輩子都會(huì)一事無成。

Within you there is a formidable and undeniable sense of purpose. Success comes from making a solid and persistent connection to that purpose. When your intentions are supported by a ‘why’ that has meaning, you will find a way to bring them to life. Getting anything done is a matter of continuing to remember why you have chosen to do this thing in the first place.

你需要有一種深不可測(cè)無法衡量的目標(biāo)感。只有緊緊地抓住和堅(jiān)持那個(gè)目標(biāo)，成功才會(huì)到來。當(dāng)你的意圖都被賦予了有意義的”為什么“，那么你就真的能實(shí)現(xiàn)一個(gè)個(gè)的目標(biāo)了。做好每件事能讓你始終記住到底為什么一開始選擇做這件事。

In the end, focused and persistent effort always brings great achievement. When your efforts are driven by your purpose, you can keep these efforts going for as long as it takes to reach this achievement.

最后，堅(jiān)持不懈地努力能帶來最好的回報(bào)。當(dāng)你的努力由目標(biāo)驅(qū)使，你就可以向著這個(gè)目標(biāo)不斷地前進(jìn)努力。

9. A positive vision makes a big difference.

積極的想象會(huì)產(chǎn)生大影響

Don’t just see things the way they are. Envision yourself in the place you want to be, skillfully doing what you are capable of doing. Envision yourself in this place living the life you desire. Allow yourself to dream in full color, and know with certainty, that this dream is achievable if you want it to be.

別一成不變地看待問題。想象自己身處夢(mèng)想之中，做那些你有能力做的事情。想象自己過著一直盼望的生活。允許自己做個(gè)多彩的夢(mèng)，要堅(jiān)信，只要你堅(jiān)持，夢(mèng)想就能成真。

Envision the things you desire as being achievable and they will be. Envision yourself doing what your need to do, operating at your very best, and then hold that image firmly in your mind, day after day, moment by moment, as you step boldly in the direction of your vision.

想象你想做的每件事都是可達(dá)到的，并最終會(huì)達(dá)到。想象自己做那些你需要做的事情，并且做到最好，在腦海中不斷地去想象，日復(fù)一日，分分秒秒，這樣你就能緊緊的抓住自己的夢(mèng)想。

Give this vision all you’ve got, mentally and physically, and you’ll be amazed at the energy and excellence that comes out of you in the long run.

拼盡全力去為了這個(gè)目標(biāo)努力吧。你最終肯定會(huì)感嘆自己原來能釋放這么多的能量和智慧。

10. Your journey is ultimately what you make of it.

路是你自己走出來的

There’s no such thing as perfect happiness, just as there’s no such thing as perfect despair. What does exist is a continuous series of imperfect moments filled with infinite possibilities and opportunities for you to interpret them and do with them as you please.

沒有什么完美的幸福，就像沒有什么絕對(duì)的失望一樣。真正存在的是那些一連串連續(xù)的不完美的瞬間，夾雜著無限的可能性和機(jī)會(huì)，等著你去實(shí)現(xiàn)。

You can pave the road you travel with doubt and despair or hope and happiness. It’s your choice. Either way, you will eventually arrive at the same destination. The only question is: Do you want to arrive there with a frown or a smile?

你的道路可以帶有懷疑，失望抑或希望和幸福。這是你的選擇，無論選擇哪條路，最后都會(huì)到達(dá)同一個(gè)目的地。唯一的問題在于，你是想沮喪地到達(dá)還是微笑著到達(dá)呢?