MANYA at fourteen was not yet as pretty as her sisters. Bronia was quite grown up with long sweeping skirts and her golden hair done up into a bun at the back. She had taken her mother's place and looked after the housekeeping and the lodgers. Hela was sixteen and a beauty, fair and tall and graceful. Joseph was also fair and tall and handsome. He was at the university studying medicine.
The girls would have liked to think of themselves as going to the university also, but in Russian Poland no woman was allowed to go to any university. If they wanted to learn more than they learned at school, they had to get their learning from books for themselves or in another country.
For the moment, Manya was content for herself. She had gone on to the High School and was as happy as a squirrel with all the nuts it needed; but she was worried about Bronia. What would Bronia do without a university? Couldn't she, Manya, invent a scheme to get Bronia to some country where girls could learn what they wanted to know? She made up her mind to work and earn money to keep her elder sister. Well, the high road to earning was to get through school successfully! Manya, that particular morning, would be late for school unless she finished breakfast quickly, cut up the sandwiches for school lunch, saved, yes saved, the meat from Lancet who had interrupted her thoughts by a quick grab at the last of the mutton which was waiting to be cut up for those sandwiches. Lancet was the red setter, the adored of the household. He was very beautiful and did everything he shouldn't. He had golden feathers on ears and tail and feet and should have been a most obedient shooting dog, but he had had no education. Manya, her brother and sisters spoilt him all day, kissed him, even made a lap dog of him. He slept in the chairs, brushed vases down with his tail, ate other people's lunch, upset visitors with his uproarious welcome, took their hats and gloves for them with the politest air—gloves and hats that looked sadly the worse for wear when they were returned to their owners.
At last lunch having been safely wrapped up, her satchel slung on her back and Lancet persuaded to stay at home, Manya ran off to school.
At the blue palace where Count Zamoyski lived, she stopped, hesitated before the great bronze lion guarding one of its old stone courtyards and put her hand on the heavy ring in its mouth to turn it over its nose.
“Don't run away, Manyusia,” called a voice from a window; “Kazia'll be there in a minute.” Manya always picked up Kazia, who was the daughter of the Count's librarian, on her way to school; but if her friend were late, she turned the bronze ring up and went on. Then Kazia could be in no doubt whether she had passed.
“Come to tea this afternoon,” called Kazia's mother; “there'll be your favourite iced chocolate.”
“Of course you're coming to tea,” said Kazla. “Oh! Aren't we late? Come on!”
So the two hurried along the narrow street and through the park, neither of them conscious of the difference everyone else could see in them. Kazia was so well dressed, so obviously the petted daughter of two devoted parents, while Manya was a little left to herself, a little shabby.
It was a long way to school and they had plenty of time for chatter, time too to play certain games. In the wet weather they made a point of trailing their goloshes through the deepest parts of the puddles; in the dry, they played the “green” game.
“Do come to the shops and buy a new exercise book,” said Manya. I have seen some awfully jolly ones with green covers that will…”
But Kazia wasn't caught. At the word green and before Manya could finish her sentence she handed her a piece of green velvet she was keeping ready for the purpose in her pocket. She escaped a forfeit and for the moment nothing more followed. Manya seemed to have given up the game. She began talking about their last history lesson in which the professor had gone out of his way to tell them that Poland was a mere province of Russia and the Polish language a Patois.
“Still he seemed uncomfortable,” she remarked. “Did you see that he dared not look at us and turned quite pale?”
“Yes!” said Kazia; “he was almost green.” And immediately, she saw Manya twiddling a young green chestnut leaf under her nose.
“We've passed the monument!” a cry of horror from Manya. “Oh, well! We've got to go back”; and back they went right to Saxe Square where there was a lofty column supported by four lions. On it was written “To the Poles faithful to their Monarch.” The Czars had erected the monument to those Poles who, traitors to their own country, had died fighting on the side of the oppressor. It had become the duty of all Poles who were faithful to Poland to spit at the monument every time they passed it and Manya and Kazia would not leave that duty undone even if it meant retracing their steps or being late for school.
“Are you coming to watch the dancing tonight?” asked Manya. Naturally Kazia was going. Every week a few families met to dance at the Sklodovskis; but only the girls who were “out” were allowed to dance. Kazia and Manya were obliged to sit still and watch. Nevertheless they were getting hints of how to do it, studying the steps, discussing the movements, learning the tunes; and when the grown-up dancing was over, they practised by themselves.
They were eagerly discussing the joys of coming out as they walked under the school archway into the courtyard. Girls from every direction were trooping into the great bare, three-storied building; there were laughter and chatter and gaiety and many greetings. But one girl was hurrying in alone as if she wished to escape notice. As the two caught her up, they saw that her eyes were swollen and red and her clothes were untidy as if she had scrambled into them anyhow.
“What's the matter with Kunicka?” they asked one another and one of them slipped an arm round the girl.
“What's the matter, Kunicka?”
Kunicka could scarcely answer, her pale face was drawn with pain. “It's my brother,” she stammered. “He's been caught in a plot… For three days we hadn't had any news of him…They're... they're going to hang him at dawn to-morrow.”
The words seemed to have no meaning. The two drew Kunicka out of the crowd; bending over her, they tried to understand, tried to comfort her. But there was no comfort for someone whose brother was going to be hanged to-morrow! Manya and Kazia knew the young, gay brother. He was their friend. He had done nothing wrong. How could he be going to die?
“Make haste, children! Enough talking!” It was the hated voice of the German superintendent, Miss Mayer, and the three were obliged to bury their grief and go into school.
It was no longer the private school to which Manya had gone as a little girl, but the government High School, run by the Russian government. In it, everything except the pupils were Russian. The Polish children were obliged to attend it, because only by so doing could they get a certificate of any sort which would enable them to get work. They attended, but they were rebels and freer to express their opinions than their elders. Manya and Kazia took delight in inventing witticisms against their Russian professors, their German master and especially against Miss Mayer who detested Manya only a little less than Manya detested her.
Little and dark Miss Mayer used to go about in soft slippers not to be heard and the better to spy on the girls.
“It's no more use speaking to that Sklodovska girl,” she said, “than throwing green peas at a wall!”
“Look at your ridiculous, frizzy, disorderly head, Marya Sklodovska! How often have you been told to confine your curls? Come here and let me brush them down and make you look like a decent school girl.” “Like a German Gretchen!” thought Manya, but she said nothing. So with the brush that brushed everybody's hair, she set on Manya's head with good hard blows. But however hard she brushed, the curls were rebels still—those light, capricious, exquisite curls that framed Manya's round, rebellious face.
“I won't have you look at me like that!” Miss Mayer would shout. “You have no right to look down on me!”
“I can't help it,” said Manya truthfully, for she was a head taller than Miss Mayer. No doubt she was glad that words sometimes have two meanings.
But the girls liked some of their teachers, for some were Polish. In some of the Russians also, to their dumb surprise, they found Polish sympathies. They began to understand that even in Russia there were rebels. One Russian master had gone so far as to give as a prize a book of revolutionary poems. That silent act became the talk of the school and the pupils watched him with wondering, admiring eyes. Poles could live with Russians. Oh, yes! Were not the pupils in that city school Russians, Poles, Germans, Jews? And were they not all happy together? In school they found no difference in the races. Outside school each nation kept apart, for all feared spies.
In spite of everything Manya loved her school; a little shamefacedly she confessed it. “Do you know, Kazia,” she wrote one holiday, “I like the school. Are you going to laugh at me? I like it. I even like it very much. I am not longing for it. No! But I am not sad at the thought of term and two years more of it is no horrible thought.”
But on that particular day, when Miss Mayer called the girls in from the courtyard, Manya had no thought for school. In the sunny morning, she had been dreaming of music and dance and jesting. Suddenly the world had changed. While the dim words of unheard lessons floated around her ears, she could see nothing but the young eager boy whom she knew… and a cold, pictured dawn with a gallows.
There was no thought of dancing at the Sklodovskis that night. Manya, Bronia and Hela, Kazia and Ula, her sister, all went to sit up the night through with Kunicka, keeping watch in the long night, thinking of the boy who had to die. That keeping watch is a Catholic custom, it is just staying awake to think. The six children sat with Kunicka. We who are happier cannot imagine what they thought or felt. It is so different when someone we love dies naturally, even children understand that; but this other—to sit and wait while the minutes pass and the hour of man's exceeding cruelty comes nearer to stain the dawn with wrong—that was horror indeed. They must have watched in silence, for there was nothing to say, nothing to do, only plenty to think, rebel thoughts for the hearts of six young rebels. From time to time, they did what they could for Kunicka, their own hearts breaking with sympathy. They tried to get her to drink something warm; gently they put their arms around her or tried to dry her tears. Then suddenly they realised that the new light was no longer candlelight. There was a red line in the sky. The red dawn had come. The six buried their terrified faces in their hands and threw themselves on their knees to pray for the young rebel who was dead.
十四歲的瑪妮雅出落得還沒有姐姐們漂亮。布朗尼婭已經(jīng)日漸成熟,穿著拖地長裙,金黃的頭發(fā)在腦后束成發(fā)髻。她接任了母親在家的角色,照看家務(wù)和寄宿學(xué)生。海拉已經(jīng)十六歲,出落成了一個美人,白皙高挑、光彩照人。約瑟夫也長得高大帥氣,他已經(jīng)上了大學(xué),在學(xué)習(xí)醫(yī)藥專業(yè)。
女孩們也憧憬著自己有朝一日能上大學(xué),但在俄國統(tǒng)治下的波蘭,女人是不能上大學(xué)的。如果她們想在中學(xué)的基礎(chǔ)上再有所深造,便只能從書本中獲得,或者去其他國家學(xué)習(xí)。
此時,瑪妮雅對自己還比較滿意。她上到了高中,就像小松鼠撿到了堅果一樣快樂;但她有點兒擔(dān)心布朗尼婭。上不了大學(xué),布朗尼婭該怎么辦?瑪妮雅能不能想個辦法把布朗尼婭送到某個國家,在那里女孩能學(xué)習(xí)她們想了解到的一切?她下定決心,要努力工作賺錢供養(yǎng)姐姐。然而,賺錢最快的方法就是順利畢業(yè)!一天早晨,瑪妮雅如果不快點吃完早飯,上學(xué)就會遲到,她切好午餐吃的三明治,最后正準(zhǔn)備切做三明治用的羊肉時,朗斯特一個箭步跑來搶肉吃,這打斷了瑪妮雅的思緒,但她救出了——是的,她從朗斯特嘴里救出了羊肉。朗斯特是一條赤毛獵犬,是全家人的寵兒。它十分漂亮,淘氣地做盡了一切不該做的事。它的耳朵、尾巴和四肢上長著金毛,本應(yīng)做一條溫順的獵狗,但卻絲毫未被馴化?,斈菅胚€有兄弟姐妹們都十分寵溺它,經(jīng)常親吻它,把它寵得像條哈巴狗。它在椅子上呼呼大睡,尾巴一掃打碎了花瓶;偷吃別人的午餐;對來客張牙舞爪、惹人心煩,悄無聲息地叼走客人的帽子和手套——等再找回來時,那帽子和手套幾乎都戴不成了。
瑪妮雅終于安全地包好午餐,把書包往背后一背,叫朗斯特乖乖待在家后,便連忙往學(xué)校跑去。
經(jīng)過扎莫伊斯基伯爵住過的藍(lán)色宮殿時,瑪妮雅停下腳步,在一座守護(hù)著古老石頭庭院的大青銅獅子前駐足,用手將獅子嘴上掛著的重銅環(huán)推到鼻子上。
“瑪妮莎,先別走,”窗邊傳來一個聲音,“卡西婭馬上就來。”瑪妮雅經(jīng)常來接卡西婭一起上學(xué),那是伯爵圖書管理員的女兒;如果卡西婭來晚了,她就會把青銅環(huán)推上去,然后先走。這樣卡西婭就能知道她是不是先走了。
“今天下午來喝茶,”卡西婭的媽媽說道,“還有你們最喜歡的冰可可?!?/p>
“你一定要來喝茶哦,”卡西婭說道,“哦!我們是不是要遲到了?快走吧!”
于是,兩個人沿著狹窄的街道一路狂奔,穿過公園,但都沒能像路人一樣觀察到彼此之間的差別??ㄎ鲖I穿著精致得體,一看就是父母特別寵愛的小公主,而相比之下瑪妮雅穿得就有些寒酸了。
上學(xué)的路很長,她們有足夠的時間閑聊,也有足夠的時間玩點兒小游戲。在多雨的日子里,兩個人穿著膠鞋踩過水洼最深處,拖出一道長長的水??;天氣晴朗的時候,她們就玩“綠色”游戲。
“咱們?nèi)ド痰曩I個新練習(xí)本吧,”瑪妮雅說道,“我之前見到一些特別漂亮的練習(xí)本,綠色封皮的那種……”
但卡西婭并未上當(dāng)。還沒等瑪妮雅把話說完,她一聽到“綠色”這兩個字就從兜里摸出早就準(zhǔn)備好的一塊綠色天鵝絨遞給瑪妮雅。卡西婭成功避開了懲罰,不過游戲沒有繼續(xù)下去。瑪妮雅好像并不想玩游戲。她講起了上次的歷史課,課堂上老師一反常態(tài)地告訴學(xué)生波蘭只是俄國的一個省,波蘭語也只是一種方言。
“不過老師看上去有些不自在,”瑪妮雅評論道,“你難道沒注意到老師根本就不敢直視咱們,而且面色有些蒼白嗎?”
“沒錯!”卡西婭說道,“他幾乎都臉色發(fā)綠了?!辈幌凰查g,她就看見瑪妮雅在她眼皮子底下捻動著嫩綠的栗子葉。
“我們都走過紀(jì)念碑了!”瑪妮雅驚慌地叫道,“哎喲,天?。∥覀兊泌s快往回走!”她們回過頭時剛好就在薩克斯廣場,看見四只石獅子上立著一根高柱子。柱子上面寫著“獻(xiàn)給忠君愛主的波蘭人”。沙皇讓人立起柱子,警示那些背叛國家的波蘭人,他們?yōu)橹С謮浩日叨鴬^斗至死。每次經(jīng)過紀(jì)念碑,忠心愛國的波蘭人都會向石碑吐唾沫,這已經(jīng)成為他們的職責(zé)?,斈菅藕涂ㄎ鲖I每次都會盡心履職,哪怕是走路折返或是上學(xué)遲到。
“你今晚要來看跳舞嗎?”瑪妮雅問道??ㄎ鲖I當(dāng)然會去。每周都會有幾家人來斯克沃多夫斯基家里聚會跳舞;不過只有長大成人的女孩們才能跳舞??ㄎ鲖I和瑪妮雅只能靜靜地坐在一旁看。然而,她們光是看也能學(xué)會一些技巧,研究舞步,探討移動姿勢,熟悉曲調(diào);等大人們跳完舞,她倆就開始自己練習(xí)。
她們穿過學(xué)校里的拱門走進(jìn)庭院,邊走邊熱切地聊著“長大成人”的趣事。女孩們從四面八方擁進(jìn)庭院。她們一個挨著一個走到空地上,走進(jìn)三層樓的建筑里;人群中充滿了歡聲笑語和興高采烈的寒暄問候。但其中有一個女孩,獨自一人行色匆匆,盡量避免惹人注意?,斈菅藕涂ㄎ鲖I迎面走向她,發(fā)現(xiàn)她雙眼紅腫,而且衣衫不整,好像匆忙穿上來不及收拾一樣。
“庫妮卡是怎么了?”她們互相問道,其中一人用胳膊摟住了她。
“庫妮卡,你怎么啦?”
庫妮卡幾乎說不出話,她蒼白的臉上滿是痛苦。“我哥哥出事了,”她斷斷續(xù)續(xù)地說道,“他被秘密逮捕了……已經(jīng)整整三天了,我們沒有他任何消息……他們……他們明天黎明時分就要把他絞死?!?/p>
這些話聽完只會讓人覺得大腦一片空白。兩個人將庫妮卡從人群中攙到一邊;俯下身來,試圖仔細(xì)理解她說的話,努力安慰她。但對于哥哥明天就要被絞死的人來說,任何安慰都無濟(jì)于事!瑪妮雅和卡西婭認(rèn)識那個年輕活潑的男孩。他是她們的朋友。他什么也沒做錯??伤趺淳鸵懒四??
“快回去上課,同學(xué)們!也聊夠了吧!”耳邊傳來德國督學(xué)邁爾小姐那惡狠狠的聲音,三人不得不掩藏起痛苦,回去上課。
這已經(jīng)不再是瑪妮雅孩童時期上學(xué)的那所私立學(xué)校了,如今變成了俄國政府統(tǒng)治下的公立學(xué)校。在這所學(xué)校里,除了學(xué)生,一切都是俄國的。波蘭學(xué)生只能上這所學(xué)校,他們別無選擇,因為只有這樣才能獲得一紙文憑、找到工作。他們還在上學(xué),所以能比大人們更加反叛,并且可以更加自由地表達(dá)思想?,斈菅藕涂ㄎ鲖I喜歡編俏皮話來打趣她們的俄國老師、德國校長,尤其是邁爾小姐,并以此為樂。邁爾小姐討厭瑪妮雅,而瑪妮雅對她的厭惡更是有過之而無不及。
小個子、黑皮膚的邁爾小姐,為了不讓人發(fā)覺,總是穿著軟底鞋到處走,以便更好地監(jiān)視女孩們。
“沒必要再和那個叫斯克沃多夫斯卡的女孩廢什么話,”她說,“跟她講話就是用青豆砸墻,絲毫不起作用!”
“看看你那愚蠢可笑、任性妄為、曲曲拳拳的頭發(fā),瑪妮雅·斯克沃多夫斯卡!你多長時間梳一次頭?過來,我給你梳梳,最起碼讓你看上去像個大方得體的女學(xué)生?!薄澳遣畔竦聡娴默敻覃愄啬?!”瑪妮雅在心里嘀咕道,但她嘴上什么也沒說。于是,邁爾小姐拿著那把不知梳過多少人頭發(fā)的梳子,蠻橫生硬地梳著瑪妮雅的頭。不過無論她怎么用力,那些鬈發(fā)就像和她作對一般——那一頭光亮精致且固執(zhí)任性的鬈發(fā)仍舊原模原樣地勾勒著瑪妮雅那張叛逆的小圓臉。
“別用那樣的眼神盯著我!”邁爾小姐吼道,“你沒有權(quán)力低頭輕視我!”
“我也無能為力。”瑪妮雅如實說道,她比邁爾小姐高出整整一個頭。有些話能夠一語雙關(guān),這無疑讓瑪妮雅一陣竊喜。
不過,學(xué)校里的某些老師還是受人愛戴的,他們中有一些是波蘭人。而在一些俄國老師身上,學(xué)生們也驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)存在著對波蘭的同情之心。于是他們開始慢慢理解,即使在俄國,也存在反叛之人。一位俄國老師竟然將一本革命詩集作為獎勵贈予學(xué)生。這一無聲舉動迅速成為校園里熱議的話題,學(xué)生們也充滿好奇與敬仰地打量起這位老師。波蘭人與俄國人可以和平共處。是的,沒錯!學(xué)校里的學(xué)生本不就是有俄國人、波蘭人、德國人、猶太人嗎?在學(xué)校他們絲毫感覺不到種族的區(qū)分。而在校外,各國人彼此之間保持距離,以防間諜。
盡管這樣,瑪妮雅還是熱愛自己的學(xué)校;帶著一絲羞愧,她坦白了這一切?!翱ㄎ鲖I,你知道嗎?”她有次放假寫信時寫道,“我喜歡學(xué)校。你會因此嘲笑我嗎?我喜歡學(xué)校,甚至非常喜歡。我雖然沒有極度渴望上學(xué),肯定沒有!但我也不會因為一個又一個的學(xué)期而苦惱,更不會因為還要上很多年學(xué)而感到害怕?!?/p>
但就在那一天,當(dāng)邁爾小姐將學(xué)生們從庭院里叫回來時,瑪妮雅卻根本無心上學(xué)。在這個陽光明媚的早晨,她滿腦子本來想的都是音樂、跳舞和玩樂。但忽然之間,世界天翻地覆。課堂上晦澀的內(nèi)容全都左耳朵進(jìn)右耳朵出,她什么也看不到,眼前只浮現(xiàn)出自己認(rèn)識的那個熱血少年……以及帶有絞刑架的寒冷黎明。
當(dāng)晚,斯克沃多夫斯基一家根本無心跳舞?,斈菅拧⒉祭誓釈I、海拉、卡西婭和她姐姐烏拉都陪著庫妮卡通宵坐到天明,守望著漫漫長夜,心念著那個即將失去生命的男孩。守夜是天主教的習(xí)俗,讓人保持清醒以便思考。六個孩子包括庫妮卡在內(nèi)圍坐在一起。我們旁觀者根本無法體會她們當(dāng)時的所思所感。這與親人的自然死亡截然不同,即便是孩童也能領(lǐng)會自然死亡;但這種——只能坐等時間的靜靜流逝,等待昭顯人類殘酷冷漠的時刻步步逼近,等待人類用不義的行為污染黎明——的確令人毛骨悚然。這場守夜一定是沉默寂靜的,因為無言可訴、無事可為,唯有思緒萬千,唯有六顆年輕反叛的心所擁有的反抗思想。她們時不時竭盡所能地安慰庫妮卡,也因為同情而心如刀絞。她們試圖勸慰庫妮卡喝些熱水;輕柔地?fù)е驇退粮蓽I水。忽然間,她們覺察到有燭火之外的亮光射進(jìn)房間。天際緋紅。紅色的黎明已經(jīng)到來。六人將充滿恐懼的面龐深深埋藏在臂彎中,跪臥在地上,為那個逝去的男孩祈禱。
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