To Bernice the next week was a revelation. With the feeling that people really enjoyed looking at her and listening to her came the foundation of self-confidence. Of course there were numerous mistakes at first. She did not know, for instance, that Draycott Deyo was studying for the ministry; she was unaware that he had cut in on her because he thought she was a quiet, reserved girl. Had she known these things she would not have treated him to the line which began“Hello, Shell Shock!” and continued with the bathtub story—“It takes a frightful lot of energy to fix my hair in the summer—there's so much of it—so I always fix it first and powder my face and put on my hat; then I get into the bathtub, and dress afterward. Don't you think that's the best plan?”
Though Draycott Deyo was in the throes of difficulties concerning baptism by immersion and might possibly have seen a connection, it must be admitted that he did not. He considered feminine bathing an immoral subject, and gave her some of his ideas on the depravity of modern society.
But to offset that unfortunate occurrence Bernice had several signal successes to her credit. Little Otis Ormonde pleaded off from a trip East and elected instead to follow her with a puppylike devotion, to the amusement of his crowd and to the irritation of G. Reece Stoddard, several of whose afternoon calls Otis completely ruined by the disgusting tenderness of the glances he bent on Bernice. He even told her the story of the two-by-four and the dressing-room to show her how frightfully mistaken he and every one else had been in their first judgment of her. Bernice laughed off that incident with a slight sinking sensation.
Of all Bernice's conversation perhaps the best known and most universally approved was the line about the bobbing of her hair.
“Oh, Bernice, when you goin' to get the hair bobbed?”
“Day after to-morrow maybe,” she would reply, laughing. “Will you come and see me? Because I'm counting on you, you know.”
“Will we? You know! But you better hurry up.”
Bernice, whose tonsorial intentions were strictly dishonorable, would laugh again.
“Pretty soon now. You'd be surprised.”
But perhaps the most significant symbol of her success was the gray car of the hypercritical Warren McIntyre, parked daily in front of the Harvey house. At first the parlor-maid was distinctly startled when he asked for Bernice instead of Marjorie; after a week of it she told the cook that Miss Bernice had gotta holda Miss Marjorie's best fella.
And Miss Bernice had. Perhaps it began with Warren's desire to rouse jealousy in Marjorie; perhaps it was the familiar though unrecognized strain of Marjorie in Bernice's conversation; perhaps it was both of these and something of sincere attraction besides. But somehow the collective mind of the younger set knew within a week that Marjorie's most reliable beau had made an amazing face-about and was giving an indisputable rush to Marjorie's guest. The question of the moment was how Marjorie would take it. Warren called Bernice on the phone twice a day, sent her notes, and they were frequently seen together in his roadster, obviously engrossed in one of those tense, significant conversations as to whether or not he was sincere.
Marjorie on being twitted only laughed. She said she was mighty glad that Warren had at last found some one who appreciated him. So the younger set laughed, too, and guessed that Marjorie didn't care and let it go at that.
One afternoon when there were only three days left of her visit Bernice was waiting in the hall for Warren, with whom she was going to a bridge party. She was in rather a blissful mood, and when Marjorie—also bound for the party—appeared beside her and began casually to adjust her hat in the mirror, Bernice was utterly unprepared for anything in the nature of a clash. Marjorie did her work very coldly and succinctly in three sentences.
“You may as well get Warren out of your head,” she said coldly.
“What?” Bernice was utterly astounded.
“You may as well stop making a fool of yourself over Warren McIntyre. He doesn't care a snap of his fingers about you.”
For a tense moment they regarded each other—Marjorie scornful, aloof; Bernice astounded, half-angry, half-afraid. Then two cars drove up in front of the house and there was a riotous honking. Both of them gasped faintly, turned, and side by side hurried out.
All through the bridge party Bernice strove in vain to master a rising uneasiness. She had offended Marjorie, the sphinx of sphinxes. With the most wholesome and innocent intentions in the world she had stolen Marjorie's property. She felt suddenly and horribly guilty. After the bridge game, when they sat in an informal circle and the conversation became general, the storm gradually broke. Little Otis Ormonde inadvertently precipitated it.
“When you going back to kindergarten, Otis?” some one had asked.
“Me? Day Bernice gets her hair bobbed.”
“Then your education's over,” said Marjorie quickly. “That's only a bluff of hers. I should think you'd have realized.”
“That a fact?” demanded Otis, giving Bernice a reproachful glance.
Bernice's ears burned as she tried to think up an effectual come-back. In the face of this direct attack her imagination was paralyzed.
“There's a lot of bluffs in the world,” continued Marjorie quite pleasantly. “I should think you'd be young enough to know that, Otis.”
“Well,” said Otis, “maybe so. But gee! With a line like Bernice's—”
“Really?” yawned Marjorie. “What's her latest bon mot?”
No one seemed to know. In fact, Bernice, having trifled with her muse's beau, had said nothing memorable of late.
“Was that really all a line?” asked Roberta curiously.
Bernice hesitated. She felt that wit in some form was demanded of her, but under her cousin's suddenly frigid eyes she was completely incapacitated.
“I don't know,” she stalled.
“Splush!” said Marjorie. “Admit it!”
Bernice saw that Warren's eyes had left a ukulele he had been tinkering with and were fixed on her questioningly.
“Oh, I don't know!” she repeated steadily. Her cheeks were glowing.
“Splush!” remarked Marjorie again.
“Come through, Bernice,” urged Otis. “Tell her where to get off.”
Bernice looked round again—she seemed unable to get away from Warren's eyes.
“I like bobbed hair,” she said hurriedly, as if he had asked her a question, “and I intend to bob mine.”
“When?” demanded Marjorie.
“Any time.”
“No time like the present,” suggested Roberta.
Otis jumped to his feet.
“Good stuff!” he cried. “We'll have a summer bobbing party. Sevier Hotel barber-shop, I think you said.”
In an instant all were on their feet. Bernice's heart throbbed violently.
“What?” she gasped.
Out of the group came Marjorie's voice, very clear and contemptuous.
“Don't worry—she'll back out!”
“Come on, Bernice!” cried Otis, starting toward the door.
Four eyes—Warren's and Marjorie's—stared at her, challenged her, defied her. For another second she wavered wildly.
“All right,” she said swiftly, “I don't care if I do.”
An eternity of minutes later, riding down-town through the late afternoon beside Warren, the others following in Roberta's car close behind, Bernice had all the sensations of Marie Antoinette bound for the guillotine in a tumbrel. Vaguely she wondered why she did not cry out that it was all a mistake. It was all she could do to keep from clutching her hair with both bands to protect it from the suddenly hostile world. Yet she did neither. Even the thought of her mother was no deterrent now. This was the test supreme of her sportsmanship; her right to walk unchallenged in the starry heaven of popular girls.
Warren was moodily silent, and when they came to the hotel he drew up at the curb and nodded to Bernice to precede him out. Roberta's car emptied a laughing crowd into the shop, which presented two bold plate-glass windows to the street.
Bernice stood on the curb and looked at the sign, Sevier Barber-Shop. It was a guillotine indeed, and the hangman was the first barber, who, attired in a white coat and smoking a cigarette, leaned nonchalantly against the first chair. He must have heard of her; he must have been waiting all week, smoking eternal cigarettes beside that portentous, too-often-mentioned first chair. Would they blindfold her? No, but they would tie a white cloth round her neck lest any of her blood—nonsense—hair—should get on her clothes.
“All right, Bernice,” said Warren quickly.
With her chin in the air she crossed the sidewalk, pushed open the swinging screen-door, and giving not a glance to the uproarious, riotous row that occupied the waiting bench, went up to the first barber.
“I want you to bob my hair.”
The first barber's mouth slid somewhat open. His cigarette dropped to the floor.
“Huh?”
“My hair—bob it!”
Refusing further preliminaries, Bernice took her seat on high. A man in the chair next to her turned on his side and gave her a glance, half lather, half amazement. One barber started and spoiled little Willy Schuneman's monthly haircut. Mr. O'Reilly in the last chair grunted and swore musically in ancient Gaelic as a razor bit into his cheek. Two bootblacks became wide-eyed and rushed for her feet. No, Bernice didn't care for a shine.
Outside a passer-by stopped and stared; a couple joined him; half a dozen small boys' nose sprang into life, flattened against the glass; and snatches of conversation borne on the summer breeze drifted in through the screen-door.
“Lookada long hair on a kid!”
“Where'd yuh get 'at stuff? 'At's a bearded lady he just finished shavin'.”
But Bernice saw nothing, heard nothing. Her only living sense told her that this man in the white coat had removed one tortoise-shell comb and then another; that his fingers were fumbling clumsily with unfamiliar hairpins; that this hair, this wonderful hair of hers, was going—she would never again feel its long voluptuous pull as it hung in a dark-brown glory down her back. For a second she was near breaking down, and then the picture before her swam mechanically into her vision—Marjorie's mouth curling in a faint ironic smile as if to say:
“Give up and get down! You tried to buck me and I called your bluff. You see you haven't got a prayer.”
And some last energy rose up in Bernice, for she clinched her hands under the white cloth, and there was a curious narrowing of her eyes that Marjorie remarked on to some one long afterward.
Twenty minutes later the barber swung her round to face the mirror, and she flinched at the full extent of the damage that had been wrought. Her hair was not curly and now it lay in lank lifeless blocks on both sides of her suddenly pale face. It was ugly as sin—she had known it would be ugly as sin. Her face's chief charm had been a Madonna-like simplicity. Now that was gone and she was—well frightfully mediocre—not stagy; only ridiculous, like a Greenwich Villager who had left her spectacles at home.
As she climbed down from the chair she tried to smile—failed miserably. She saw two of the girls exchange glances; noticed Marjorie's mouth curved in attenuated mockery—and that Warren's eyes were suddenly very cold.
“You see”—her words fell into an awkward pause—“I've done it.”
“Yes, you've—done it,” admitted Warren.
“Do you like it?”
There was a half-hearted“Sure”from two or three voices, another awkward pause, and then Marjorie turned swiftly and with serpentlike intensity to Warren.
“Would you mind running me down to the cleaners?” she asked. “I've simply got to get a dress there before supper. Roberta's driving right home and she can take the others.”
Warren stared abstractedly at some infinite speck out the window. Then for an instant his eyes rested coldly on Bernice before they turned to Marjorie.
“Be glad to,” he said slowly.
接下來的這個禮拜使伯妮斯大感意外。伯妮斯覺得人們真的渴望見到她,喜歡聽她說話,她因此有了滿滿的自信。當然,一開始她頻頻出錯。比如,她不知道德雷克特·德約正在研修牧師職位;她不知道,他來和她跳舞是因為他原本認為她是個文靜、矜持的姑娘。如果她知道這些,就不會用這樣的臺詞和他打招呼:“嗨,彈震癥!”也不會給他講洗浴的事——“夏天,要花大量精力盤頭——頭發(fā)太多了——所以,我總是先盤好頭,再往臉上撲粉,再戴帽子;然后跳進浴缸,最后再穿裙子。難道你不認為這是最完美的做法嗎?”
盡管德雷克特·德約正在苦苦鉆研浸禮的事,因此有可能發(fā)現(xiàn)兩者之間存在某種聯(lián)系,然而,不得不承認,他并沒發(fā)現(xiàn)。他認為談論女人洗浴有悖傳統(tǒng)道德,便向她表達了現(xiàn)代社會腐化墮落的觀點。
然而,伯妮斯也取得了幾個不同凡響的、值得稱道的成就,抵消了這些不快的經(jīng)歷。小奧迪斯·奧蒙德懇求她允許他取消他的東方大學之旅,寧愿像忠誠的小狗一樣追隨她,這一方面令他的那幫朋友覺得好笑,另一方面又讓G.李斯·斯托達德很惱火。有幾個下午,G.李斯·斯托達德去拜訪伯妮斯的時候,每次都遇到奧迪斯俯著身子,令人作嘔地、含情脈脈地看著伯妮斯,使他的愿望泡了湯。奧迪斯甚至還給伯妮斯講了木棍和女更衣室的事,意在向她表明,他和其他所有人起初對她的看法是多么荒謬。聽到這些話,伯妮斯的情緒稍稍有些低落,但她還是一笑了之。
在伯妮斯所有的談話中,最有名也最受人追捧的是那句關于剪短發(fā)的臺詞。
“嗨,伯妮斯,你打算什么時候去剪頭發(fā)?”
“也許后天吧,”她會笑著這樣回答,“你們會來看我剪頭發(fā)嗎?因為我可是對你們寄予厚望的啊,你們知道的?!?/p>
“我們會去嗎?那還用說!不過,你最好快點!”
關于剪短發(fā)的事,伯妮斯完全沒當回事,所以她會用大笑一次次搪塞過去。
“快了。保證讓你們大吃一驚?!?/p>
然而,也許,伯妮斯獲得成功的最重要的標志是,眼光極為挑剔的沃倫·麥金泰爾的灰色轎車每天都停在哈維家的門前。起初,聽到他問起伯妮斯而不是瑪嬌麗,瑪嬌麗家負責應門的女傭非常吃驚;一個禮拜后,她告訴廚子,伯妮斯小姐搶走了對瑪嬌麗小姐忠心耿耿的小伙子。
伯妮斯小姐的確干了這件事。或許,一開始,沃倫只是為了激起瑪嬌麗的妒忌;或許,伯妮斯的言談之間有著熟悉的瑪嬌麗的影子,雖然一時還難以覺察;或許,兩者兼而有之,而且除此之外,還存在著某種真誠的愛慕之意。然而,無論如何,一個禮拜之內(nèi),年輕人們都知道了曾經(jīng)對瑪嬌麗癡心不改的情郎令人吃驚地突然改變了主意,毫不猶豫地投入了瑪嬌麗的座上客的懷抱。眼前的問題是,瑪嬌麗將怎樣接受這個事實。沃倫每天給伯妮斯打兩個電話,給她寫信,經(jīng)常有人看見他倆一起坐在沃倫的跑車里,顯然一次又一次地沉浸于嚴肅的、至關重要的、諸如他是否真誠之類的話題里。
當大家嘰嘰喳喳地拿這件事開瑪嬌麗的玩笑時,她也只是付之一笑。她說她很開心,沃倫終于找到一個欣賞他的人。因此,年輕人們也一笑了之,他們認為,瑪嬌麗并不在意,也就隨其發(fā)展了。
伯妮斯結束拜訪的日子快要到了,在離回家還有三天的那個下午,她在客廳里等沃倫,她要和他一起參加一個橋牌派對。她心情很好,當瑪嬌麗——她也要一起去——來到她身邊,對著鏡子不經(jīng)意地梳著頭發(fā)時,伯妮斯對即將爆發(fā)的風暴還毫無準備。瑪嬌麗用三句簡短的話冷靜而干脆利落地展開了攻擊。
“你最好不要對沃倫癡心妄想?!彼淅涞卣f。
“什么?”伯妮斯完全蒙了。
“你最好不要在沃倫·麥金泰爾這兒丟人現(xiàn)眼。你在他心里什么也不是?!?/p>
她們對視片刻,雙方劍拔弩張——瑪嬌麗面帶嘲弄、高高在上;伯妮斯一臉驚詫,一半是出于生氣,一半是出于害怕。就在這時,兩輛小轎車開到了瑪嬌麗家的門前,一起鳴著喇叭。她們兩人都輕輕地倒抽一口氣,同時轉過身,匆匆地走出屋子。
在整個牌局中,伯妮斯都在枉然地努力控制著越來越不安的情緒。她冒犯了瑪嬌麗這個獅身人面的女魔頭。懷著世界上最正常不過的愿望,她在無意之中偷走了瑪嬌麗的財產(chǎn)。她突然覺得非常內(nèi)疚。打完橋牌,他們隨便圍成一圈坐著,漫無邊際地談著話,風暴就在他們的談話過程中慢慢醞釀成熟。小奧迪斯·奧蒙德無意間突然引發(fā)了這場風暴。
“奧迪斯,你什么時候再去讀幼兒園?”一個人問道。
“我?伯妮斯剪頭發(fā)的那天吧?!?/p>
“那么,你就別想再受教育了,”瑪嬌麗趕緊接上話茬,“伯妮斯只是隨口說說而已,我以為你已經(jīng)意識到了。”
“真的嗎?”奧迪斯問道,責怪地看了伯妮斯一眼。
伯妮斯的兩只耳朵在發(fā)熱,同時,她想努力挽回局面。但是,面對這樣針鋒相對的攻擊,她的想象力癱瘓了。
“世界上騙人的把戲多了去了,”瑪嬌麗繼續(xù)得意地說,“你太嫩了,還不懂這些,奧迪斯?!?/p>
“好吧,”奧迪斯說,“也許是這樣。但是,呃,就像伯妮斯說的——”
“真的嗎?”瑪嬌麗打了個哈欠,“她最近都說了什么至理名言呀?”
似乎沒人知道。事實上,伯妮斯近來把她的繆斯女神的情郎迷得神魂顛倒,竟沒有說出任何值得銘記的東西。
“真的只是一句戲言嗎?”羅伯塔好奇地問道。
伯妮斯躊躇著。她覺得她必須以某種方式表現(xiàn)出她的機智,然而,在表姐凌厲、冷漠的注視下,她完全喪失了能力。
“不知道?!彼氯?。
“干脆點!”瑪嬌麗說道,“承認吧!”
伯妮斯看見沃倫的目光離開了他正在擺弄的尤克里里琴,用詢問的眼神死死地盯著她的臉。
“哦,我不知道?!彼廊恢貜椭鴦偛诺脑?。她的面頰在燃燒。
“干脆點!”瑪嬌麗又說道。
“說出來,伯妮斯,”奧迪斯催促道,“讓她知道不該那么講話?!?/p>
伯妮斯再次看向四周——她似乎無法離開沃倫的眼睛。
“我喜歡短發(fā),”她飛快地說,仿佛在回答他的問題,“而且我打算把頭發(fā)剪掉?!?/p>
“什么時候?”瑪嬌麗問道。
“隨時都可以。”
“現(xiàn)在就最好。”羅伯塔提議。
奧迪斯跳起來。
“好極了!”他大聲說,“我們要舉行一個夏季短發(fā)派對。塞維爾旅館理發(fā)店,記得你說過的。”
頃刻之間,所有人都站了起來。伯妮斯的心怦怦亂跳。
“什么?”她喘著氣。
人群中傳出瑪嬌麗的聲音,非常清晰,非常不屑。
“激動什么呢——她要打退堂鼓了!”
“快點吧,伯妮斯!”奧迪斯叫道,開始向門口走去。
四只眼睛——沃倫的和瑪嬌麗的——都盯著她,向她挑戰(zhàn),公然地蔑視她。她再次劇烈地顫抖了一下。
“好,”她飛快地說,“不就是把頭發(fā)剪短嘛?!?/p>
真是漫長的幾秒鐘!然后,伯妮斯坐在沃倫的副駕上,車子在暮色蒼茫中駛向市區(qū),其他人坐在羅伯塔的車里緊隨其后。伯妮斯覺得自己就像坐在囚車里被押往斷頭臺的絕代皇后瑪麗亞·安托瓦內(nèi)特一樣?;秀敝?,她感到奇怪,她為什么不大聲呼喊:這完全是個錯誤。她可以用兩只手緊緊地護住自己的頭發(fā),來避開這個突然背離她的世界。然而她什么也沒有做。甚至她母親的意見也無法阻止她。這件事是證明她是否光明磊落的關鍵;也標志著她是否能步入無人能夠撼動的、備受青睞的、星光璀璨的女孩陣營。
沃倫沉默不語,令人捉摸不透。到達旅館的時候,他把車停在人行道邊,朝伯妮斯點點頭,示意伯妮斯先下車。坐在羅伯塔車里的一群人笑笑嚷嚷地下了車,涌進理發(fā)店。理發(fā)店的兩扇厚厚的玻璃窗在街上特別醒目。
伯妮斯站在人行道上,看著理發(fā)店的牌子:塞維爾理發(fā)店。它的確是個斷頭臺,而劊子手就是第一個理發(fā)師,他身穿白大褂,抽著雪茄,冷漠地靠在第一把椅子上。他一定聽說過她的事;他一定在這把不祥的、經(jīng)常被提到椅子旁沒完沒了地抽著雪茄等了她一個禮拜了。他們是不是要蒙住她的雙眼?不,他們是要用一塊白布勒住她的脖子,以免她的血——胡說——頭發(fā)——落到她的衣服上。
“別擔心,伯妮斯?!蔽謧惖恼Z速很快。
伯妮斯昂著頭穿過人行道,推開從兩面都可以推拉的紗窗門,對坐在等候席上的那排喧囂的看客們不屑一顧,徑直朝第一個理發(fā)師走去。
“請把我的頭發(fā)剪短。”
第一個理發(fā)師的嘴巴不由微微地張了張,嘴里的雪茄掉在了地上。
“???”
“我的頭發(fā)——剪掉它!”
無須再啰唆,伯妮斯直接坐到高高的椅子上。鄰座的一個男的側身看了她一眼,分不清是激動還是驚訝。一個理發(fā)師吃了一驚,毀掉了每月理一次發(fā)的小威利·舒恩曼的發(fā)型。最后一把椅子上的奧雷利先生的臉被刮刀劃破了,他哼了一聲,用音樂般的古蓋爾語罵起人來。兩個擦鞋匠的眼睛瞪得大大的,朝她的雙腳撲了過去。不,伯妮斯才不愿意讓他們擦鞋呢。
外面,一個路人停下腳步,盯著她看;一對情侶也加入了看客的行列;五六個小男孩的鼻子突然伸到玻璃窗上,都被壓扁了;人們的議論聲一陣一陣地隨著夏季的微風透過紗窗門,飄進理發(fā)店里。
“瞧,那個孩子長著那么長的頭發(fā)!”
“你從哪兒弄的這東西?是他剛從那個長滿胡子的女人臉上刮下來的。”
然而,伯妮斯什么也看不到,什么也聽不到。她僅存的知覺告訴她,這個穿白大褂的男人把一把玳瑁梳子拿開,接著又拿開了一把;他的手指拿著他不熟悉的發(fā)夾笨拙地抓來抓去;她的頭發(fā),她的美麗動人的頭發(fā),消失了——她那閃著深棕色光澤的長發(fā)再也不會垂到背上,給她帶來心醉的感覺了。頃刻之間,她幾乎崩潰了,然后,眼前機械地出現(xiàn)了一幅畫面——瑪嬌麗撇著嘴,帶著含而不露的嘲笑,仿佛在說:
“放棄吧,認輸吧!你想和我作對,我就揭穿你的老底。你瞧,你根本就不是我的對手?!?/p>
伯妮斯突然迸發(fā)出最后一絲力氣,白布下面的兩只手攥得緊緊的,眼睛里有一種令瑪嬌麗捉摸不透、久久難以忘懷的東西。
二十分鐘后,理發(fā)師把椅子轉過來,讓她對著鏡子??吹矫婺咳堑陌l(fā)型,她害怕了?,F(xiàn)在,她的頭發(fā)不再卷曲有致,而是直挺挺地、毫無生氣地貼在她那突然毫無血色的雙頰上。難看極了——她早知道會這樣。以前,她的魅力主要在于擁有圣母瑪利亞般的嫻靜質(zhì)樸?,F(xiàn)在,這點魅力也不復存在了,而她——哎,變得相貌平平——不是像在演戲,就是讓人覺著滑稽,活像一個找不著眼鏡的格林尼治村婦。
她從椅子上爬下來,想擠出點笑容——不幸失敗了。她瞥見兩個姑娘交換了一下眼色;注意到瑪嬌麗嘲弄地撇著嘴——而沃倫的眼神突然之間變得冷若冰霜。
“你們看——”她突然感到一陣難堪,沉默了一下,“我做到了?!?/p>
“沒錯,你——做到了?!蔽謧惔_認了她的話。
“你們喜歡嗎?”
“當然?!庇袃扇齻€人言不由衷地敷衍道。又是一陣令人難堪的沉默,然后,瑪嬌麗突然轉過身,陰郁地緊盯著沃倫。
“介意把我送到洗衣店嗎?”她問,“晚飯前我必須把裙子取回來。羅伯塔正好要回家,其他人可以搭她的車?!?/p>
沃倫心不在焉地看著窗外蒼茫的夜色,突然冷冷地看了一眼伯妮斯,然后把目光轉向瑪嬌麗。
“樂意效勞。”他緩緩地說。