Letters Live 丨英國(guó)版《見(jiàn)字如面》——羅茲讀信：貝多芬寫給兄弟們的信(1)

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《Letters Live》(見(jiàn)信如晤) ，又稱英國(guó)版《見(jiàn)字如面》。節(jié)目邀請(qǐng)音樂(lè)、影視、文藝界的名人,如卷福、抖森等,現(xiàn)場(chǎng)朗讀近一個(gè)世紀(jì)以來(lái)令人難忘的書信。以下是Letters Live 丨英國(guó)版《見(jiàn)字如面》——羅茲讀信：貝多芬寫給兄弟們的信(1)的資料，希望對(duì)你有所幫助！

For my brothers Carl and Johann Beethoven
獻(xiàn)給我的兄弟卡樂(lè)和約翰貝多芬

Oh you men who think or say that I am malevolent, stubborn, or misanthropic, how greatly do you wrong me.
啊，世人！你們將我視為或者描述成一位脾氣古怪，懷揣敵意的厭世者，這對(duì)我而言何其不公！
You do not know the secret cause which makes me seem that way to you.
你們不了解我外表下隱藏的秘密。
From childhood on, my heart and soul have been full of the tender feeling of goodwill, and I was even inclined to accomplish great things.
從童年起，我對(duì)別人出于善意的溫情總是欣然接受，滿懷感激；我甚至奢求做出一番驚天動(dòng)地的事業(yè)（以回報(bào)他們的厚愛(ài)）。
But, think that for six years now I have been hopelessly afflicted, made worse by senseless physicians, from year to year deceived with hopes of improvement, finally compelled to face the prospect of a lasting malady (whose cure will take years or, perhaps, be impossible).
但是，請(qǐng)換位思考，六年來(lái)我備受無(wú)望的折磨，庸醫(yī)的治療導(dǎo)致我的病情惡化。我年復(fù)一年懷著的好轉(zhuǎn)的希望，全部落空；最后不得不面對(duì)這場(chǎng)曠日持久的病癥（治愈需要耗費(fèi)數(shù)年時(shí)間；也或許就是不治之癥了）。

Though born with a fiery, active temperament, even susceptible to the diversions of society, I was soon compelled to isolate myself, to live life alone.
我生就一副火熱和活潑的性格，甚至容易受到社會(huì)的干擾。但我很快就被迫把自己孤立起來(lái)，去過(guò)孤獨(dú)的生活。
If at times I tried to forget all this, oh, how harshly was I flung back by the doubly sad experience of my bad hearing. Yet it was impossible for me to say to people, "Speak Louder, shout, for I am deaf".
有時(shí)我也想將一切置身事外，我那糟糕的聽(tīng)力所帶來(lái)的雙重痛苦的經(jīng)歷又將我無(wú)情擊潰。我畢竟不能向人高呼：喂，請(qǐng)大聲點(diǎn)說(shuō)！因?yàn)槲沂莻€(gè)聾子！
Oh, how could I possibly admit an infirmity in the one sense which ought to be more perfect in me than others, a sense which I once possessed in the highest perfection, a perfection such as few in my profession enjoy or ever have enjoyed.
啊，我如何愿意承認(rèn)，自身的某個(gè)感官出了問(wèn)題。這種感官理應(yīng)比別人更完美；這感官在我身上曾經(jīng)到達(dá)了巔峰，其完美的程度過(guò)去或現(xiàn)在很少能有人匹敵。
Oh I cannot do it; therefore forgive me when you see me draw back when I would have gladly mingled with you.
哦，無(wú)法承認(rèn)！所以，如果你們看到我這個(gè)一向愛(ài)和你們一起相處的人躲開，請(qǐng)你們必須原諒我。

My misfortune is doubly painful to me because I am bound to be misunderstood; for me there can be no relaxation with my fellow men, no refined conversations, no mutual exchange of ideas.
要是我此時(shí)被人誤解，我的不幸會(huì)讓我加倍痛苦。對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，我已無(wú)法與同行進(jìn)行深入而輕松的交談，我已不再能與人互吐衷腸。
I must live almost alone, like one who has been banished. I can mix with society only as much as true necessity demands. If I approach near to people a hot terror seizes upon me, and I fear being exposed to the danger that my condition might be noticed.
我?guī)缀跬耆陋?dú)，像被驅(qū)逐了！即使當(dāng)我處于十分必要而不得不與人接觸時(shí)，我也感到完全地孤獨(dú)。我象一個(gè)流放者那樣生活著。一旦接近人群，我就害怕萬(wàn)分，惟恐我的惡疾被人注意。

Thus it has been during the last six months which I have spent in the country. By ordering me to spare my hearing as much as possible, my intelligent doctor almost fell in with my own present frame of mind, though sometimes I ran counter to it by yielding to my desire for companionship.
我在鄉(xiāng)下住了半年，情況與此相仿。我那明智的醫(yī)生要我盡量保護(hù)聽(tīng)覺(jué)，他的建議差不多迎合了我此時(shí)的心境。盡管有時(shí)我受到想與人交際的沖動(dòng)的驅(qū)使，禁不住去找人作伴。
But what a humiliation for me when someone standing next to me heard a flute in the distance and I heard nothing, or someone standing next to me heard a shepherd singing and again I heard nothing.
但是，當(dāng)別人站在我的身旁，聽(tīng)到了遠(yuǎn)方的笛聲，而我卻聽(tīng)不到，別人聽(tīng)到了牧人的歌唱，而我還是一無(wú)所聞；這對(duì)我是何等地屈辱啊！
Such incidents drove me almost to despair; a little more of that and I would have ended my life.
這類事件已使我瀕于絕望，差一點(diǎn)我只能用自殺來(lái)收?qǐng)觥?br /> It was only my art that held me back. Oh, it seemed to me impossible to leave the world until I had forth all that I felt was within me.
是藝術(shù)留住了我。哦！我認(rèn)為，在我還沒(méi)有完成交給我的全部使命以前，就離開這個(gè)世界，這簡(jiǎn)直是不可能的。