Letters Live 丨英國(guó)版《見字如面》——You, Dead, Are So Much Better Than Anyone Else Alive

You, Dead, Are So Much Better Than Anyone Else Alive

 

 

D' Arline,

親愛的阿琳，

I adore you, sweetheart.

我愛你，親愛的。

I know how much you like to hear that

我知道你多喜歡聽到這句話。

but I don't only write it because you like it

但我寫這句話不是因?yàn)槟阆矚g，

I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

而是因?yàn)樗屛胰砼摹?/p>

It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you

距我上次給你寫信已經(jīng)過(guò)去了很久，

almost two years but I know you'll excuse me

快兩年了，但我知道你會(huì)原諒我的。

because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

因?yàn)槟懔私馕沂嵌嗝吹墓虉?zhí)和現(xiàn)實(shí)，所以我覺(jué)得寫信完全沒(méi)有意義。

But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do so what I have delayed in doing,

但現(xiàn)在我明白了，我一直遲遲不做的事情其實(shí)才是正確的事，

and that I have done so much in the past.

而且在過(guò)去我已經(jīng)做了很多。

I want to tell you that I love you.

我想告訴你我愛你。

I want to love you. I always will love you.

我想愛你。我一直愛你。

I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead

我很難理解在你死后愛你有何意義，

but I still want to comfort and take care of you

但我仍想安撫你，照顧你，

and I want you to love me and care for me.

我也想讓你愛我，照顧我。

I want to have problems to discuss with you

我想和你討論問(wèn)題，

I want to do little projects with you.

我想和你一起做課題。

I never thought until just now that we can do that.

直到現(xiàn)在我才想到我們可以做這些，

What should we do.

我們本該一起做的。

We started to learn to make clothes together

我們開始一起學(xué)做衣服，

or learn Chinese—or getting a movie projector.

學(xué)漢語(yǔ)，或者去買個(gè)電影放映機(jī)。

Can't I do something now?

現(xiàn)在我自己不能做嗎？

No. I am alone without you

不能，沒(méi)有你我孤身一人。

and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.

你是出點(diǎn)子的那個(gè)人，是我們所有瘋狂冒險(xiǎn)的發(fā)起者。

When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed.

你生病時(shí)，你很擔(dān)心你不能給我我想要的，因?yàn)槟阌X(jué)得我需要。

You needn't have worried.

你不必?fù)?dān)心。

Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much.

正如我曾經(jīng)告訴過(guò)你，我沒(méi)有什么需要，因?yàn)槲覑勰愕姆绞接泻芏喾N。

And now it is clearly even more true—you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else

現(xiàn)在看來(lái)這再正確不過(guò)了，現(xiàn)在你無(wú)法給予我什么，但我依然愛你，愛到我無(wú)法再愛別人。

but I want you to stand there.

我想讓你站在這里。

You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

雖然你已死去，卻強(qiáng)于任何活著的人。

 

 

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don't want to be in my way.

你肯定會(huì)認(rèn)為我很愚蠢，你希望我獲得幸福，不想妨礙我。

I'll bet you are surprised that I don't even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years.

我打賭你會(huì)很驚訝兩年后我還沒(méi)有女朋友（除了你，親愛的）。

But you can't help it, darling, nor can I

但你控制不了，親愛的，我也不能。

I don't understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don't want to remain alone

我不懂，我遇到過(guò)很多女孩，非常好的女孩，我也不想單身。

but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes.

但兩三次見面后，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)她們都是虛有其表。

You only are left to me. You are real.

我只有你。你是真實(shí)的。

My darling wife, I do adore you.

我親愛的妻子，我愛你。

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

我愛我的妻子，我的妻子去世了。

Rich.

理查

PS Please excuse my not mailing this—but I don't know your new address.

另外，請(qǐng)?jiān)忂@封信無(wú)法寄出，因?yàn)槲也恢滥愕男碌刂贰?/p>