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Look, I know you guys don't want to do this, but we have no choice.
我知道你們不想弄這事但我們沒得選好嗎
So, you can either bitch and whine or we can just get it over with.
你們大可以唧唧歪歪 浪費(fèi)時(shí)間也可以通力合作 早點(diǎn)搞定
I got "whine." I got the "b word."
我負(fù)責(zé)唧唧。我負(fù)責(zé)歪歪
Yeah, well, it's in our contract to serve on a university committee.
我們與學(xué)校的合約中注明了得為大學(xué)委員會(huì)服務(wù)
And frankly, this is one I believe in. Okay, here we go.
老實(shí)說 我也認(rèn)同這件事。主題就是
Encouraging more women to pursue a career in the sciences.
鼓勵(lì)更多女性加入科學(xué)領(lǐng)域
Come on, if I was any good at convincing women to do stuff,
拜托 我要有本事說服女人去做我想她們做的事
I wouldn't have spent so much of my 20s in the shower.
那我20多歲時(shí) 就不用常自己在浴室"自樂"了
If you ask me,this whole thing is a waste of our time.
要我說的話搞這事根本只是浪費(fèi)時(shí)間
Helping women? Yeah, helping anyone.
幫助女性浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎?幫人就是浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。
People should take care of themselves.
人們應(yīng)該自己照顧自己
Oh, like yesterday,when you made me drive you to the dry cleaners,the pharmacy and the post office?
比如像昨天你叫我載你去干洗店藥店跟郵局那樣嗎
I'm not saying people can't use tools.
我又沒說人們不能使用工具
Even an otter picks up a rock when he wants a clam.
連水獺想吃蛤蜊時(shí)都知道用石頭敲開了
You don't think it's worthwhile to try to get more women working in science.
你覺得花時(shí)間讓更多女性加入科學(xué)行業(yè)不好嗎
I think that's incredibly sexist of you.
我覺得你太有性別歧視了
I believe in a gender-blind society like in Star Trek, where women and men of all races and creeds work side by side as equals.
我相信在性別平等的社會(huì)比如《星際迷航》中 各個(gè)種族信仰各異的男女都平等地一起共事
You mean where they were advanced enough to invent an interstellar warp drive,but a black lady still answered the space phone?
你是說那個(gè)先進(jìn)到能發(fā)明出能進(jìn)行恒星際旅行的曲速引擎卻還是讓一個(gè)黑人女性接太空電話的世界嗎
Oh, I did spend a lot of my shower time with Lieutenant Uhura.
我的浴室"自樂"時(shí)間有不少是跟烏乎拉通訊官度過的
Howard's disturbing recollections aside, I don't appreciate being forced to do banal committee work.
先不管霍華德的下流回憶我不喜歡被逼去做這些平庸的委員會(huì)工作
Yes, I know, you're too smart for this.Exactly.
是是是 太大材小用了。沒錯(cuò)
It's like asking the Human Torch to heat up your frozen burrito.Got it.
就跟叫霹靂火(霹靂火是《神奇四俠》里的人物 能讓全身變成火焰)來熱你的冷凍玉米煎餅一樣。明白
All right, I'm thinking one way to counter bias in the peer-review process,
我想到了一個(gè)避免在同行評審階段遭受歧視的方法
is for papers to be submitted under gender-neutral names.
就是報(bào)告都用中性名字遞交
Like S. Smith instead of Samantha Smith.
比如S?史密斯而不是沙曼莎?史密斯
I suppose there is a history of professional women using their initials, so as not to be pre-judged.
專業(yè)領(lǐng)域的某些女性使用縮寫名來避免先入為主的批判 的確行之有年了
Harry Potter's J.K. Rowling,uh, Star Trek's D.C. Fontana.
《哈利波特》作者 J.K.羅琳《星際迷航》編劇 D.C.豐塔納
Van Nuys pole-dancer D.D. Melons.
范奈斯市的鋼管舞女 DD杯?麥倫(巨乳)
All right, I think we've really helped women today. Let's fire up the old Xbox.
好啦 我們今天有幫到女性了,來打電動(dòng)吧
Guys, please don't make this a school project where I'm the smart kid doing all the work while the slackers sit back and watch.
你們倆 拜托別讓歷史重演小時(shí)候做報(bào)告 聰明孩子做全部其他懶鬼就在旁邊看著
No, we're not.
我們才不是呢
This time you're the smart kid doing all the work while the even smarter kids sit back and watch.
這次是聰明孩子負(fù)責(zé)做全部工作而更聰明的孩子在旁邊看著
So, you think I'm one of the smarter kids?
你覺得我也是更聰明的孩子嗎
No, you're a tool I was using to make my point.
不是 你只是我用來證明論點(diǎn)的工具
Guys, our topic is "Encouraging Women in Science."
我們的主題是"鼓勵(lì)女性加入科學(xué)領(lǐng)域"
Can you at least play a less sexist game?
你們倆不能玩少點(diǎn)性別歧視的游戲嗎
How is it sexist?
這哪有歧視女性
My character wields a battle axe as well as any man.
我的角色能像男人一樣把大戰(zhàn)錘揮起來
Not to mention she has mammary glands that could nurse a family of 30.
更別說她有著超發(fā)達(dá)的乳腺足夠喂養(yǎng)一家三十口
And have enough milk left over to open a Baskin Robbins.
而且剩下來的量都?jí)蜷_冰激凌店用了
Mother, warrior-princess, franchise owner--I hear glass ceilings shattering all over town.
母親 戰(zhàn)士公主 冰激凌加盟店老板女性職場障礙全被打爆啊
Sheldon, you're always saying how much smarter you are than me.
謝爾頓 你老說你比我聰明無數(shù)倍
Spend five seconds and come up with one idea on how to get more women into science.
那你能用五秒鐘想出一個(gè)能讓更多女性加入科學(xué)領(lǐng)域的方法嗎
All your ideas address the issue at a university level.
你的所有點(diǎn)子都僅限于學(xué)術(shù)界階段的問題
By then it's too late.
但那階段已經(jīng)太晚了
You need to design an outreach program that targets girls at the middle school level
你應(yīng)該設(shè)計(jì)一個(gè)擴(kuò)展研究把目標(biāo)延伸到中學(xué)階段的少女們
and sets them on an academic track towards the hard sciences.
把她們導(dǎo)向追求學(xué)術(shù)邁向硬科學(xué)的道路之上
That's actually good. Why didn't I think of that?
還真是個(gè)好點(diǎn)子。我怎么就沒想到呢?
Some people are otters, some people are rocks.
有些人是水獺 而有些人就只是石頭
I wonder if there's a way we could give the idea a trial run.
有沒有什么方法可以先試驗(yàn)一下這點(diǎn)子呢
Maybe I could call my old middle school, see if we can talk to some of the female students.
我可以試試打電話給我以前的中學(xué)看我們能不能跟一些女學(xué)生聊聊
That's great-- try to set up something for the three of us to go over there. Oh, hold on.
這不錯(cuò)啊 安排一下讓我們?nèi)齻€(gè)去那里試試,先等等吧
While I'm comfortable speaking about science,
雖然我對談科學(xué)沒有任何問題
I'm not sure I know how to spark the interest of schoolchildren.
但我不確定能否勾起中學(xué)女孩的興趣
Better Google it. What exactly are you looking up?
我先上網(wǎng)搜搜吧。你打算搜什么關(guān)鍵句
"How do I get 12-year-old girls excited." No! No!
"如何讓12歲少女興奮"不要 快住手
Thanks again for letting me crash "girls' night."
再次感謝你們讓我參一腳"閨蜜之夜"
Are you kidding? You brought fancy wine and made fondue.
開什么玩笑?你帶來上好的紅酒 還給我們做芝士火鍋
I've slept with guys for less.It's a joke.
比這小的好處我都"睡"過了。開玩笑啦
Based on real events.
基于真實(shí)故事的玩笑
Anyway, I was hoping I could, uh,pick your brains a little.
總之 我希望可以向你們請教一下
I'm supposed to take Lucy out Friday and I need a killer first date.
我周五要跟露西約會(huì)我需要一個(gè)超棒的初次約會(huì)
Well, evolutionary biology says that women are attracted
進(jìn)化生物學(xué)說 女人容易被
to a man who is steady in the face of danger, so I recommend an unsafe environment.
臨危不亂的男人所吸引所以我建議去危險(xiǎn)的地方
Seedy bar on the wrong side of the tracks... picnic near a lunatic asylum... a wine tasting on Skid Row.
去貧民區(qū)破舊的酒吧去瘋?cè)嗽焊浇安腿ヘ毭窨咂肪?/div>
Eh, Lucy has some, uh, social anxiety issues.
露西有社交焦慮癥
Maybe we could start with something simpler.
或許我們可以從簡單點(diǎn)的地方著手
Why don't you take her to Disneyland?
你何不帶她去迪士尼樂園
You go on Space Mountain,you're in the dark, she's holding onto you.
你們可以玩室內(nèi)過山車兩人處于黑暗中 她緊緊抓住你
Yeah, but you just have to remember,that ride is shorter than you think
但千萬要記住那比你想象中還快結(jié)束
and they take a picture of you at the end,so make sure you got your clothes back on.
終點(diǎn)前還會(huì)給你倆拍照所以記得在那之前就穿回衣服
It's a joke. Based on real events.
開玩笑啦?;谡鎸?shí)故事的玩笑
Mm, Disneyland? I don't know.
迪士尼樂園 我不知道該不該去
With all the crowds and the weird characters walking around, just reminds me too much of India.
人擠人 還有奇怪的角色玩偶人四處游走會(huì)讓我有一種在印度的錯(cuò)覺
I haven't been to Disneyland since I was a kid.
我從來沒去過迪士尼
We should definitely go one weekend.
真應(yīng)該找個(gè)周末去玩玩
Weekends are too crowded.
周末人太多了
So, blow off work, go on a weekday. Hooky?
那就不去上班 工作日時(shí)去。翹班嗎?
I've never played hooky in my life.
我這輩子連課都沒翹過
My mom said that's how girls end up addicted to reefer and jazz music.
我媽說翹課的女生最后都會(huì)沉迷于大麻和爵士樂
It's more like how girls end up at a Best Western hotel with a 34-year-old guy named Luther.
其實(shí)翹課的女生更有可能在酒店跟一個(gè)34歲的老頭開房
Joke? I can laugh about it now. So, what do you say?
也是玩笑嗎?我現(xiàn)在對此能一笑置之了。你們覺得怎么樣
This Friday we ditch work and go to Disneyland?
周五我們放下工作去迪士尼 好嗎
I'm in. Me, too.
我贊成。我也贊成
Excuse me, I thought we were trying to solve my problem?
打斷一下,你們不是要幫忙解決我的問題嗎?
Oh, yeah, right. Wait, what was your problem again?
對哦,沒錯(cuò)。等下,你的問題是什么來著?
I am a man who can't talk to women,trying to figure out how to go on a romantic date with a girl
我是一個(gè)無法跟女性正常交流的男人試圖想出如何跟一個(gè)患有嚴(yán)重社交焦慮癥
who suffers from such crippling social anxiety she can't be around other people.
而無法跟人共處的女孩進(jìn)行一次浪漫約會(huì)
Yeah, that's a toughie.Let's think.
對哦 這還真有難度。我們好好想想
We doing just Disney or California Adventure, too?
我們是光去迪士尼 還是也去加州冒險(xiǎn)樂園呢
It's nice of your old school to let us try out our science talk on some female students.
真是太好了 你的母??献屛覀冊囼?yàn)在一群女學(xué)生面前宣講科學(xué)
Well, they're actually pretty excited.
他們其實(shí)挺開心的
I'm their most famous alum.
我是他們最出名的畢業(yè)生
If you don't count the serial killer who ate all those prostitutes.
如果不算那個(gè)奸殺妓女還吃掉她們的連環(huán)殺手的話
This must feel pretty good for you,coming back to your alma mater as an astronaut.
你的感覺一定很好吧以宇航員的身份榮歸母校
Yeah, last time I was here,I was just a scrawny little nerd.
那是 我上一次在這里時(shí)我只是個(gè)骨瘦如柴的小阿宅
And now you're also an astronaut. So many memories.
現(xiàn)在還是 不過是多了宇航員的身份。這里有我很多回憶
I mean, how many times in these hallways was I tripped, punched and spit on?
我經(jīng)常在這些走廊里被人絆倒 被人打 還被吐口水
Oh, look, here's my old locker.
瞧 這是我以前的儲(chǔ)物柜
I have a masters in engineering and I still can't figure out how Scott Kapinski got me and my briefcase to fit in there.
雖然我是工程學(xué)的碩士但我還是想不明白斯科特?坎賓斯基是怎么把我和我的公文包一起塞進(jìn)里面的
What?Nothing.Smart. We don't want any problems.
干嘛?沒事。明智 我們可不想惹麻煩
I can't believe I ditched work for Disneyland.
真不敢相信 我居然翹班去迪士尼
What did you tell your boss?
你怎么跟老板說的
Oh, I was very clever, I did it in stages.
我相當(dāng)聰明 一步一步鋪好哏
At 7:00 last night, I called about a problem at the lab and casually mentioned I was going out for seafood.
昨晚7點(diǎn),我打去跟他說實(shí)驗(yàn)室的問題然后不經(jīng)意地提到我要出去吃海鮮
At 9:30,I called and told him that one of my scallops tasted weird.
9點(diǎn)半我打去告訴他 我其中一個(gè)扇貝吃起來怪怪的
At 11:30 I called and told him thatI was throwing up like a fire hose.
11點(diǎn)半 我打過去說我吐得天昏地暗
At 12:45.I called and made nothing but dry heaving sounds,and now I'm going to Disneyland.
12點(diǎn)45分我打過去 什么也不說就一直干嘔而現(xiàn)在我在去迪士尼的路上了
Penny, what did you say?
佩妮 你怎么說的
I work at the Cheesecake Factory,I said "Bye."
我在芝士蛋糕工廠上班,說聲再見就能甩頭走人
So, what are we gonna do first?
我們先玩什么
I don't know about you guys,but I'm gonna make a beeline for the place that gives you a princess makeover.
我不知道你們倆想玩什么,但我要直奔一個(gè)地方可以把你裝扮成公主
Ooh, that sounds like fun. You're kidding, right?
聽起來很好玩。你說笑呢,對吧?
We're not just gonna get drunk and go on rides?
我們不是要喝個(gè)大醉 然后去坐游樂設(shè)施嗎
Come on, do it with us.All right, whatever. How does it work?
別這樣,和我們一起玩嘛。好吧,隨便吧。要怎么玩
Okay, so, you pick your princess-- Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Cinderella--they give you hair, makeup, the works.
你先選個(gè)公主睡美人 白雪公主 灰姑娘他們會(huì)幫你弄頭發(fā) 化妝 弄全套
Guess it would be fun to be Cinderella.Oh, I want to be Cinderella, too. Yeah.
打扮成灰姑娘肯定很好玩。我也想當(dāng)灰姑娘 對啊
We can't all be Cinderella.
我們不能都當(dāng)灰姑娘
Then how do we decide? Well, it's simple.
那要怎么決定呢?很簡單
This was my idea. I'm driving. I'm Cinderella.
這是我的主意,開車的是我。所以我是灰姑娘
You bitches got a problem with that,
你們兩個(gè)小賤貨要是有意見
we could stop the car right now.
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