想在微博朋友圈受歡迎？千萬不要這樣做！

Analysis: They feel the need to convince someone like themselves, or perhaps felt a pang of love and instead of telling the beloved, they felt the whole world should be in on it.

1.炫耀無需聲明的愛：“我太太太太愛我的女兒了!”

分析：這種人是在尋求認同感。他們不把這種愛告訴至親，卻選擇昭告全世界。

2.Mundane details about their day appearing as milestones: “Going to dinner and a movie!!!”

Analysis: A very boring life.

2.事無巨細地匯報每日行程：“要去吃晚餐看電影啦!”

分析：實在是無趣的人生阿。

3.Giving details about health along with emoticon to verify feelings about it: “Feeling sick today :("

Analysis: Bored, and too stupid to just play Words with Friends.

3.發(fā)一些跟健康有關的內容，再配上相應的表情：“今天感覺不太好:(”

分析：無聊，連填字游戲都玩不明白。

4. Emotional rant directed at no one in particular, but so specific that everyone knows they’ve been screwed over: “Never trust people who tell you they will pick you up at 6 just to make you wait an hour. Some people will never be mature enough to be in a relationship, so maybe they should be dumped.”

Analysis: Well, they can’t really give the person’s name or address them directly.

4.情感責罵，并不明確指向任何人，但話說的太明白所有人都知道他們玩完了：“永遠不要相信那些說6點來接你結果害你白白等一個小時的人。有些人就是太不成熟，活該被甩。”

分析：可他們從來不把那個人的名字或者地址直接說出來。

5.Pictures of feet.

Analysis: I have no idea why people do this. It’s weird.

5.自己腳的照片

分析：完全搞不懂人們?yōu)槭裁匆@么做，太怪了。

6. Pictures of mundane plates of food in front of them.

Analysis: "I’m eating. You have to see what I’m eating!" Well, maybe it looked better at the restaurant.

6.面前單調食物的照片。

分析：“我吃著呢，你看我吃著呢!”天阿，可能在餐廳這頓飯看起來還能好點。

7. Dozens of trivial pictures of people and their new boyfriends/girlfriends smiling and posing.

Analysis: This is a very interesting phenomenon. Women typically begin a relationship and immediately start accumulating evidence of it. The more insecure the woman, the more evidence there will be. You can gage how invested in the relationship your female partner is by counting the pics.

7.和新男友/女友一起擺拍的無聊照片。

分析：這是一個很有趣的現(xiàn)象。女人一旦開始一段感情就會立即積累關于它的點滴。她越沒安全感，就會發(fā)越多的照片。數(shù)一數(shù)你的女友發(fā)了多少張照片，你就能知道她對這段感情有多認真了。

8.White girls wearing a lot of makeup and trying to strike a badass pose.

Analysis: They wish they were badass, or at least half Chicano, but they’re just ridiculous.

8.有的白人女孩喜歡畫著濃妝，擺一個不羈的pose。

分析：她們倒是希望自己是痞子型的了，至少也得有一半奇卡諾人(指墨西哥裔美國人或在美國的講西班牙語的拉丁美洲人后裔)的血液。然而她們只是荒誕罷了。

9. Persuasive proclamations of life being good: “I’m loving life right now.”

Analysis: Life is not good.

9.認為人生美好的斷言：“我現(xiàn)在很熱愛生活。”

分析：人生不如意十有八九哦。

10. Persuasive proclamations about God. “I feel blessed to be alive on this glorious day, and I owe it all to God. Make God your only Savior and you will never be sad.”

Analysis: Religious people need to spend more time in church and less time on Facebook.

10.對上帝的斷言。“能生活如此美好，我覺得自己非常幸運。是主給了我一切，希望主能拯救你，使你永不悲傷。”

分析：如果你真的虔誠，多花點時間在教堂里，少花點時間在Facebook上。

11. Updates about how much they drink and how excited they are to be drinking: “LOL…it’s only 8:30 and look at us!! We’re already drunk!! LOL!

Analysis: “I’m having fun. I swear. I'm not an alcoholic. I just don't know any other way of self-proclaiming my sense of being cool.”

11.更新他們喝了多少酒，心情又有多激動：“天吶太開心了!才8:30!瞧瞧我們!都已經醉了!哈哈哈!”

分析：“我發(fā)誓，我們很開心。但我們不是癮君子。我只是覺得自己酷酷的，得表達出來!”

12. Updates of mundane activities written as though they are jokes: “I had to stop and get gas and then wait an hour for a prescription. Then I lost my keys and couldn’t get back in my car. Hahaha.”

Analysis: “It’s funny, right? Please say it’s funny.”

12.更新一些日常活動，盡管只是笑話：“我停下來給車加油，然后等處方等了一個小時。然后我鑰匙就丟了，現(xiàn)在沒辦法回車里了。哈哈。”

分析：“很搞笑對吧?拜托快笑兩聲。”

13. Updates written as though the page-bearer never had an English class, not even in elementary school.

Analysis: They failed English but finally found a way to express incomprehensible thoughts.

13.寫的東西錯誤連篇，跟沒上過學似的。

分析：他們英語學得不好，不過好在找到了法子表達令人費解的想法。

14. Quoted clichés from various thinkers: “It’s better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.” –Unknown.

Analysis: "I can’t think of anything amazing to say while I comfort myself, and I can’t find my iPod to quote some Lady Gaga."

14.從“思想者”那里抄來的“名句”：“愛過再失去，總好過從沒愛過。”——無名氏

分析：“自我安慰時實在是想不出什么刻骨銘心的話說阿，而且我ipod哪去了?抄不到Lady Gaga的歌詞了。”

15. Quoted song lyrics from really bad songwriters written as though it's philosophy: “I set fire to the rain, and I threw us into the flames, where I heard somethin’ die” –Adele

Analysis: “Adele is amazing! She is NOT a preconceived commercial scheme of the music industry. She’s not!”

15.引用不怎么地的作曲家寫的歌詞，就像它很有哲理一樣：“我放火燒了雨， 而我把我們投入到火焰中,我感覺到什么東西死亡了。”——阿黛爾

分析：“阿黛爾太棒了!她絕不是你們想的那樣只是音樂產業(yè)的商品!她不是!”

16. Political rants about random things: “Why should churches have to pay for abortions? Obama is a terrible president and a terrorist.”

Analysis: I don’t know. I hate politics.

16.關于隨便什么的政治觀點 ：“為什么教堂要為流產買單?奧巴馬是個差勁的總統(tǒng)，是個恐怖分子!”

分析：我不懂，我討厭政治。

17.Unusual excitement about seeing someone: “OMG I can’t wait to see Lesley and Jaime and Kelly!!”

Analysis: Superficiality is the drug of the overabundancy.

17.不知道為什么看見個人就無比激動：“哦我的天吶我真的等不及見到萊斯利和杰米和凱利了!!”

分析：理智膚淺可以治愈情感過剩。