家長和孩子Parents and Kids

Many parents who welcome the idea of turning off TV and spending more time with the family are still worded that without TV they would constantly be on call as entertainers for their children. They remember thinking up all sorts of things to do when they were kids. But their own kids seem different,less resourceful, somewhat.When there's nothing to do,these parents observe regretfully, their kids seem unable to come up with anything to do besides turning on TV.

One father, for example, says,"When I was a kid, we were always thinking up things to do. We certainly never complain in an annoying way to our parents: 'have nothing to do! ' "He compares this with his own children today:"They're simply lazy. If someone doesn't entertain them, they' II happily sit there watching TV all day."

There is one word for this father's disappointment: unfair. He deplores his children' s lack of inventiveness, as if the ability to play were something innate that his children are missing. In fact, while the tendency to play is built into the human species.

Such disappointment, however, is not only unjust, it is also destructive. Sensing their parents' disappointment, children come to believe that they are, indeed, lacking something, and that this makes them less worthy of admiration and respect. Giving children the opportunity to develop new re-sources, to enlarge their horizons and discover the pleasures of doing things on their own is, on the other hand, a way to help children develop a confident feeling about themselves as capable and interesting people.

許多家長表示對關(guān)掉電視花更多時間陪家人表示贊同，這樣他們可以花更多時間陪孩子而不是看電視。當(dāng)他們還是孩子的時候他們會想到更多事情去做，但是自己的孩子似乎不同，有時候更少的足智多謀。當(dāng)沒有什么可做的時候，家長們遺憾的是，他們的孩子除了打開電視想不到任何的其他事情。

例如，一位父親說:“當(dāng)我還是個孩子的時候，我們總是思考事情要做。我們不會抱怨父母:“沒什么可做”比起他們自己的孩子：“他們只是懶惰。如果有人不招待他們，他們將開心得一整天坐著看電視。”

有一個詞可以形容這個父親的失望，不公平。他譴責(zé)他的孩子缺乏創(chuàng)造力，好像能力是天生的，他的孩子們玩失蹤。事實上，玩耍是人類特有的傾向。

然而這種失望，不僅是不公平的，也是破壞性的。感受到父母的失望，孩子們開始相信，實際上，缺乏一些東西，而這讓他們更值得欽佩和尊重。給孩子們機(jī)會開發(fā)新資源，擴(kuò)大眼界，發(fā)現(xiàn)自己做事情的樂趣，另一方面，幫助孩子開發(fā)一個自信的自我感覺有能力和有趣的人。