大學(xué)里你學(xué)不到的7個(gè)人生技能

In far too many classes that I have taught over the last 5 years, I have heard the refrain from students, "This is the first time we are learning this." Or, even more disturbing, "I wish I had learned this earlier in my college career."

在過去5年的時(shí)間里，在我教過的課堂中，總能從學(xué)生那里聽到這樣的說法，“這是我們第一次學(xué)習(xí)這方面的知識(shí)。” 或者能聽到更令人不安的說法，“我希望在大學(xué)中我能早點(diǎn)學(xué)到這方面的知識(shí)。”

What are some of the life lessons I would teach every college student--and career professional--if I had the chance? Here are seven of the most important lessons I fervently wish everyone could have the chance to learn:

如果我有機(jī)會(huì)，我會(huì)教給每個(gè)大學(xué)生(也包括專業(yè)老師)哪些人生課呢?這里有七堂最重要的課程，我熱切希望每個(gè)人都能有機(jī)會(huì)學(xué)習(xí)一下：

1. It's a waste of time and energy to find the person, people or organization to "blame" for your troubles.

把自己面臨的困境歸咎于某個(gè)人、某群人或某個(gè)組織，這是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間和精力。

There are so many things in life that aren't fair; Why? Because you can't right all of the wrongs, and you won't ever be at peace if you are looking for fair. Does that mean you don't try to change things or fix yourself? Of course not! But, more importantly, focus on those things you can control and you can influence. Spend minimal time on those things that are completely out of your control. Instead of blaming and finger-pointing, figure out what you can do to make a difference.

生活中有很多事情不公平，為什么?因?yàn)槟悴荒芗m正全部錯(cuò)誤，如果你想要公平，你就不會(huì)內(nèi)心平靜。這是否代表你不應(yīng)該嘗試去改變什么，或是從自己身上做出調(diào)整改變呢?當(dāng)然不是!但是更重要的是，專注于那些你可以控制并能起到影響作用的事情上。在那些脫離你的控制的事情上用最少的時(shí)間。不是簡(jiǎn)單地挑挑毛病轉(zhuǎn)嫁責(zé)任逃避責(zé)任，你要弄清楚，到底自己能做些什么才能帶來改變。

2. Communication isn't natural and doesn't come easy to most people.

溝通并不是自然而然的事情，溝通對(duì)于多數(shù)人來說都不是件容易的事情。

Yes, we learn to talk at an early age and talking, as well as walking, is a natural function for most people. But talking and communicating are two different things. Communication takes focus and energy. It takes a sincere interest in the other person or people. It requires active and reflective listening. In other words, you need to actually care about others if you ever really want to communicate effectively.

對(duì)!我們從小就學(xué)會(huì)了說話、走路，對(duì)多數(shù)人來說，是一種本身自然具備的能力。但說話和溝通是兩碼事。溝通需要精力專注、待人真誠(chéng)，積極聽取他人意見和看法并對(duì)其做出反應(yīng)。換句話說，如果真的想做到有效溝通，需要真的在乎別人的感受。

3. Learn how to solve your own problems.

學(xué)會(huì)如何解決自己的問題。

Stuck in a rut? Many people are, at some point in their life. Not sure what to do next or how to get somewhere? It's a common occurrence. The question is whether you spend your time lamenting how stuck you are, or you devote your attention to finding a new, creative way out of your problem.Be a problem-solver, not a problem-maker.

停滯不前?很多人在生活的某一階段原地踏步停滯不前。不知道下一步該做什么?該怎么去往某個(gè)想去的地方?這都是常見現(xiàn)象。問題在于，你是把時(shí)間用在感嘆自己處于如此卡殼的狀態(tài)，還是把注意力轉(zhuǎn)移到尋找新的創(chuàng)造性的出路上。要成為問題解決者而不是成為麻煩制造者。

4. Become curious--about yourself, about other people and about the world around you.

保持好奇心——對(duì)自己、他人以及周遭世界

Don't take things at face value or believe everything you hear. Ask "why?" as often as a three-year-old. Be interested in what's underneath any information you hear, or learn. Where is it coming from? Why is it being passed along? What's the background or intention? This is different from being paranoid--instead, it's taking a sincere interest in learning. Life is a schoolhouse for those who want to learn and explore.

不要只看表面價(jià)值或相信你的耳聞，要像一個(gè)三歲孩子一樣經(jīng)常問“為什么?” 對(duì)你聽來的任何信息都感興趣想要了解一下。這個(gè)信息來自哪里?為什么傳出這個(gè)信息?這個(gè)信息的背景和目的又是什么?這并不是偏執(zhí)狂，而是對(duì)真心想了解學(xué)習(xí)的興趣。對(duì)于那些想要學(xué)習(xí)和探索的人而言，生活是一座校舍。

5. Never stop networking or making connections.

永遠(yuǎn)都不要停止社交或停止建立聯(lián)系。

For many people the world is small; it's their family or the place of work they visit each day. There is a world of people out there to connect with, to learn from and to engage with. You don't have to become a social butterfly, flitting from one event to another, but it's important to have connections and contacts. Keep in touch with people. Be interested in their lives and share information about yours. You never know when you will need a friend or colleague to help you somewhere along the way.

對(duì)很多人來說，世界很小，這個(gè)小小的世界是我們每天生活或工作的地方。這個(gè)世界的人們都有著千絲萬縷的聯(lián)系，人們互相聯(lián)系，相互學(xué)習(xí)，彼此接觸。你不必成為一名交際花，把每件事都靈活妥善處理好，但是與大家保持聯(lián)系很重要。要有興趣與大家分享你的生活和信息。你永遠(yuǎn)無法預(yù)料到在人生的某個(gè)時(shí)候，會(huì)需要朋友或同事幫你一把。

6. Share your talents.

分享你的才能。

Everyone has a gift to offer. It's a waste to keep your gifts hidden from the world. Find out what you are good at, or the talent you can share, and actively seek places to share those gifts.

每個(gè)人都有自己天生的才華，把自己的才華隱藏起來是一種浪費(fèi)。發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的長(zhǎng)處，或者找出你可以分享的才能，并積極尋求分享這些才華天賦的地方。

7. Give up being a naysayer.

不要做消極的否定者。

There are plenty of people who can tell you why something won't work, why it isn't possible and how negative to be. There are numerous newspapers and websites to tell you how dire circumstances are, and to encourage you to just give up. Instead, refuse to believe the naysayers and don't participate in their game. Find the positive in every day. Simply being able to walk, talk and breathe is a gift. Be a glass-half-full kind of person even when circumstances seem to tell you otherwise.

有很多人都告訴你：為什么這樣不行，為什么這樣是不可能的，又有多消極。在處于嚴(yán)峻情況的形勢(shì)下，多家報(bào)紙和網(wǎng)站都只是鼓勵(lì)你大不了放棄而已。不應(yīng)該這樣，你應(yīng)該拒絕相信這些消極的否定者，不要加入他們的游戲。每天去發(fā)現(xiàn)積極的東西。簡(jiǎn)單如會(huì)走路、會(huì)說話、能呼吸，都是生活中美好的禮物。即使情況似乎很糟糕，也要成為樂觀的人。

The most learned person can only gain so much from reading books, from laboratory testing and from sitting in class. Real learning comes from experiencing the world and seeing your place in it. Try and apply any one of these seven tips to forward your life and career.

即使是最有才華的人，也只能從讀書、從實(shí)驗(yàn)室實(shí)驗(yàn)中以及坐在課堂上聽課收獲知識(shí)。真正的學(xué)習(xí)來源于經(jīng)歷這個(gè)世界，看清自己身處其中的位置。在你的生活和職業(yè)中，嘗試應(yīng)用上述這七個(gè)人生小貼士。