TED：千萬不要在你年輕的時候去選擇安逸
I did everything I was supposed to do. I got good grades in high school, I took AP classes, I went to a good college, I got a great job, I climbed the career ladder.
我做了我應(yīng)該做的一切。我高中成績很好，參加了AP課程，上了一所好大學(xué)，找到了一份好工作，我爬上了職業(yè)階梯。
On paper I had it all. I was making $70,000 a year at the age of 28. I was working for the federal government. I had health care, I had benefits, I had job security. You literally can’t get fired from working for the government. Trust me, there are people that should.
紙上談兵，我把一切都掌握了。我28歲的時候每年掙7萬美元。我在聯(lián)邦政府工作。我有醫(yī)療保健，有福利，有工作保障。你真的不能因為為政府工作而被解雇。相信我，有些人應(yīng)該這樣做。
My parents were impressed. My friends were impressed. My boss told me I was doing a great job. I would go to Happy Hour and tell everyone I was the Special Assistant to the Director of Global Operations at the U.S. Peace Corps, and everyone thought that was so cool. They asked for my business card.I got to sit in on meetings at the White House.
我父母朋友都給我留下了很深的印象。我老板告訴我我做得很好。我會去歡樂時光告訴大家，我是美國和平隊全球行動部主任的特別助理，大家都認(rèn)為這很酷。他們要我的名片。我還要去白宮參加會議。
Everything was perfect about my job except for one tiny, kind of important thing:I was miserable. How did I know I was miserable? Every single morning when my alarm would go off at 6:30 AM in the morning to NPR, I’d feel a shooting pain go up and down my back. I felt this pain when I was getting out of bed, when I was brushing my teeth, when I was getting dressed and putting on my shirt and tie, when I was taking the bus down to work, when I scanned my ID badge in at the office, when I rode up the elevator up to my desk, when I was sitting at my desk typing memos, when my boss would invite me to meetings and we’d talk about best practices, and when my boss would email me every night on my Blackberry at 10 PM.
除了一件很小很重要的事讓我很痛苦外，我的工作一切都很完美。我怎么知道我很痛苦？每天早上6點30分，當(dāng)我要去全國廣播電臺的時候，我的鬧鐘會響起。我會感到腰酸背痛。我下床的時候，刷牙的時候，穿衣服穿襯衫打領(lǐng)帶的時候，坐公共汽車上班的時候，在辦公室里掃描身份證的時候，坐電梯到辦公桌的時候，坐在辦公桌上打備忘錄的時候，老板讓我開會的時候，我感到很痛苦。當(dāng)我的老板每天晚上10點在我的黑莓手機上給我發(fā)電子郵件時，我們會討論最佳實踐。
The pain was so bad I developed shingles on my side. Shingles is a nerve disease common in people over the age of 70, not 20-somethings. This was the pain of confusion. It was the pain of climbing this career ladder to success and realizing that I was nowhere. I was somewhere I didn’t want to be. I was stuck in aquarter-life crisis.
疼痛太嚴(yán)重了,我的一側(cè)長出了帶狀皰疹。帶狀皰疹是一種神經(jīng)疾病，常見于70歲以上的人，而不是20多歲的人。這是困惑的痛苦。這是爬上這個通往成功的職業(yè)階梯的痛苦，我意識到自己無處可逃。我已經(jīng)到了自己不想去的地方。我人生的四分之一已經(jīng)陷入危機。
And I was spending a lot of time on Facebook overdosing on FOMO,Fear of Missing Out, comparing myself to what my friends were doing. So there was my friend going off to business school and I was like,“Maybe I should get my MBA.”And there was my friend going to teach at a charter school, and I was like,“Maybe I should go work at a charter school.”And there was my friend opening a food truck, and I was like,“Maybe I should open a food truck, even though I’m an awful driver and a really bad cook.”
我在facebook上花了很多時間在fomo上，擔(dān)心錯過機會，把自己和朋友的所作所為做比較。所以有個朋友上了商學(xué)院，我就想，“也許我該拿個MBA學(xué)位?！边€有個朋友要在特許學(xué)校教書，我就想，“也許我該去特許學(xué)校工作?！边€有個朋友開了一輛餐車，我就想，“也許我應(yīng)該開一輛餐車，即使我是個糟糕的司機，廚藝也很差勁?！?/p>
And so there was a buddy of mine, he’d already graduated from one of the top law schools in the country, he got this amazing job at one of the top corporate firms, making well over six figures, and he’s got it all figured out, and there he is traveling with his girlfriend in Peru, getting engaged at sunset in front of Machu Picchu.
And I’m like“Man! This guy has got it all figured out. He’s got this amazing job, he’s already going to get married, he’s at Macchu Picchu, I hate my job, I hate my life, I can’t even get a date on OkCupid, my life is ruined!”I’m a goner!
And it was only when I met other young people going through the exact same thing I was that I was able to turn my quarter-life crisis into a breakthrough.
So this talk is going to teach you a few lessons I learned on my journey that can help anyone that’s stuck in a quarter-life crisis or help all of you avoid your quarter-life crisis and find meaningful work.
Find believers
So the first lesson I learned:find believers. Surround yourself with people that believe in the beauty of their dreams, because I used to come home in D.C. every night to my roommate Dan, and I’d be like“Dan, I hate my job, I don’t want to do this anymore,
I want to move across the country, I want to live in San Francisco, I’ve always wanted to live there, I want to start writing, I want to start being creative, I want to support social entrepreneurs, I want to start supporting young people that are going after their dreams.”
And Dan would look at me, stare, roll his eyes, take a swig of beer, and say“Smiley, suck it up. Everyone hates their job, it’s part of life.”
And I was like,“Man! You know, that’s kind of brutal.”I was 28 at the time which is old, but it’s not that old. I didn’t want to spend the next 40 years of my life depressed. But you know what?
The majority of the world thinks like Dan. 70% of Americans are disengaged at their jobs. 70%! One-fifth of those people are so disengaged, they’re actively undermining their coworkers’work. They’re literally getting paid to mess things up for the company that they work for.
And this is a shame. It’s a shame because millions of people wake up every day unfulfilled, depressed, not showing up fully for themselves, their families, their communities, or the world at large.
So then I met believers. I went to a leadership program that brings together 20-somethings that are interested in creating social change, that are interested in social entrepreneurship, that are interested in using business for good. The program was calledStartingBlocand at StartingBloc I met believers.
I met people like Debbie.Debbie was startingGoldieBlox, a toy company that teaches young girls engineering skills. I met people like Ted.
Ted startedMoneyThink, which is a nonprofit that teaches financial literacy and entrepreneurship to urban youth. I met people like Tom.
Tom startedRising Tide Car Wash, a small business in South Florida with his father, that employs people with autism.
So I met these believers and they’re like,“Wait a second, wait a second, Smiley, you want to leave D.C., you want to move to San Francisco,
you want to start writing, you want to start supporting social entrepreneurs? You have to do that, the world needs you to do that!”
Because a crazy thing happens when you find believers: you find accountability.
Now normally in the real world, you tell someone you’re going to quit your job and they’re like,“Yeah dude, you said that six months ago. Everyone’s going to quit their job.
Whatever. You’re not going to do it.”You tell someone you’re writing a book:“Everyone’s writing a book, I’ll believe it when I see it.”Not when you tell believers, because when you tell believers you have accountability.
I told my buddy Evan that I was going to quit my job at StartingBloc. And you know what he asked me? One simple question: when? When are you going to have the talk with your boss? And he texted me every single week after the program: Have you had the talk with your boss yet? Have you had the talk with your boss yet?…
I’d be in meeting with senior officials at the White House getting texts and calls from this guy and I was like,“Stop calling me, you’re going to get me arrested!”
But you know what? The only reason I did have that talk with my boss, the only reason I did quit my job, the only reason I did move across the country to a city I wanted to live in, the only reason I did write a book, the only reason I did start supporting social entrepreneurs, and the only reason I’m standing here right now is because people like Evan held me accountable. Because when you find believers, you find accountability. Thank you.
Now, people like Debbie and Ted and Tom weren’t talking about making lots of money.
They weren’t talking about rising up the corporate ladder, they weren’t talking about getting featured inTechCrunchorFast Company.
They were talking about making the world more innovative, compassionate, and sustainable.
They were talking about using their access, their privilege, and their skills to empower people less fortunate than them.
Because the success symbol for my generation, for our generation, isn’t climbing the career ladder, it’s doing work that matters. So we’re not the“me me me”generation.
50% of millennials, that’s most of you in this room, would take a pay cut to find work that matches their values. 90% of millennials want to use their skills for good. Despite unprecedented levels of unemployment and student debt, our generation wants to work with purpose.
Stop comparing yourself to others and start pursuing what is meaningful to you
So how do you actually find meaningful work?Well, the second lesson I learned is that you have to stop comparing yourself to others and start pursuing what is meaningful to you. So I went back and I interviewed my friend, the corporate lawyer that had it all figured out, was married, they got engaged at Machu Picchu.
I was like“Man, you got this great job, you’re making all this money, what’s the secret?”And you know what he told me? He told me that after three years of law school, hundreds of thousands of dollars in student debt, and now making all this money at the corporate firm, that he was miserable as a corporate lawyer, and that he was going back to grad school at the age of 30 to become a high school social studies teacher. Right? Which is great for him, but what’s the lesson? What’s the lesson? Nobody knows what they’re doing. Nobody has it figured out. The grass is always greener.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, instead of comparing yourself to everyone on Facebook, start figuring out what it is that you want. Don’t climb the career ladder to nowhere; build a career that matters to you. So why are you here?
What do you want to do for others? How can you align your own gifts, your unique gifts, with the impact you want to have on the world in a way that supports your desired quality of life?
And you know what the beautiful thing about meaning is? The beautiful thing about alignment? There is no one answer. No two peoples’definitions are the same. I don’t know what’s right for you. I’m still trying to figure out what’s right for myself.
Now, Debbie, she started GoldieBlox because of the discrimination she faced as one of the only female engineering students at Stanford University.
Ted started MoneyThink because when he was growing up in Chicago, he realized he had a lot of opportunities due to his privilege that his peers simply didn’t have. And Tom started Rising Tide Car Wash because he saw how hard it was for his own brother to find a job because his own brother has autism. So they had a personal connection to their work.
Start hustlingMeaning is personal, so what makes you tick? Not your parents, not your boss, not your friends on Facebook. What makes you tick? Why are you here? How will you create your own path? The third lesson I learned is that you have to start hustling. You have to start hustling with intention, you have to start hustling with purpose.
A lot of people like to call our generation lazy,‘the lazy generation.’It’s like, are you kidding me? Lazy? I’ve been working for 10 years since college and I still owe Sally Mae $10,000 in student loans. So Sally Mae if I ever see you on Tinder, I’m swiping left.
Now, Debbie, and Ted and Tom, they weren’t working four hours a week, they were working 40, 50, 60 hours a week on something they cared about. Now why would you want to automate something that brings you joy? Why would you want to automate something that impacts the world, that impacts others? These people weren’t automating, they were hustling. They were working hard on something that matters.
I was working four different jobs when I was writing a book because I had to pay rent and pay my loans. A lot of people hear my story and they’re like,“I got to quit my job tomorrow, I’m out! Peace!”That’s not my message, that’s not what I’m saying.
A lot of you may have heard of Debbie and heard of GoldieBlox, but what you might not know is she had a full time job while she was starting that company. She was working as the marketing director for a jewelry company in San Francisco. She stayed on at that job for nine months after she had the idea for GoldieBlox.
Why? First of all, she knew she was going to start her own business so she needed to save money, a very practical reason, but second of all, she felt like she was getting paid to go to business school.
Rather than pay a lot of money to go get an MBA, she was earning a paycheck and learning invaluable skills in marketing, retail, distributions, sales that she knew she would be able to apply to her own business when she left and started her own company. So you don’t have to quit your job tomorrow.
As a matter of fact, you don’t even need to have a job. I am going to tell the story of my friend Bernat. So I met this crazy guy once in San Francisco. I’m biking home and all of a sudden this stranger starts talking to me. He’s like,“Hey man, how’s your day going?”
I’m like,“I don’t know, leave me alone, I don’t know you.”He keeps biking alongside and is like,“Hey, I just got here from Spain, I’m looking for a job. I’m like,“I don’t know you, leave me alone.”He’s like,“I just moved from Barcelona, I’m a UX/UI designer, a really good designer, I am trying to find a job, I’ve had six interviews this week.
If I don’t get a job I have to go back to Spain, I need a work visa to stay here in the U.S. There’s not that many jobs in Spain, I really want to stay.”
And I was like,“Well, actually, my best friend was living in Barcelona, it’s a beautiful city, let me check out your website,”
And he was like,“Well, what are you working on?”
And I was like,“Well, I’m writing this book.”
And he goes,“Well, do you have a cover designer?”
And I was like,“No, not yet.”
So I go home, I check out his website and I was like,“Wow, this guy is a pretty good designer. He’s got pretty kick-ass, he’s awesome.”So I was like,“Hey Bernat, maybe you could design my book cover.”
And then I posted on Facebook,“Hey, just met this crazy guy, Bernat from Barcelona, does anyone need a designer? I know a lot of people in startups, maybe Bernat can help you.”
About five minutes later my friend Yi comments. He was like,“Actually my friends are starting a startup in Palo Alto, there’s three of them, they don’t really know what they’re doing, they are figuring out, they could use a designer.”
So Bernat meets with this team, they hit it off, he gets hired as their lead designer, it’s a four person team. He’s super excited, he texts me,“Smiley, thank you, I got this job!”
And I’m like“Thank you, man, you made the ask.”So it goes by, he helps me design this book cover, and then about six or seven months later I got a text from Bernat: He’s like,“Smiley, I’m taking you out to dinner, anywhere you want to go.”
I was like, awesome, I want to get taken out to dinner, great. So we go to dinner and I am like,“What’s going on man? What’s up? Why are you taking me out? I have some money, I’m a writer, I’m mostly broke, but we can split the check or something.”
And he goes,“Well, the company I started working for after I met you?”
I was like,“Yeah.”
“They had just been acquired by Yahoo for $80 million”. Right? It’s a small team, so Bernat had equity, it was like four or five person team, he was one of the first people on the team. And he was thanking me and I was like,“You should thank yourself.”You know why?
Because Bernat made the ask. He talked to a random stranger on a bike in a city that he didn’t live in, in a country that he’s not even from. He made the ask. So do not let being a beginner limit your hustle. Take a risk, sign up for the class, volunteer, go abroad, work abroad, launch a crowdfunding campaign. Thank you.
Start the blog, build that website, make the ask. People will support you when you start working with purpose. Now this isn’t about finding your one calling or your one purpose, because I don’t think that that’s possible. I think I’ve already had eight callings, and I’m only 31, which is not that old, I swear.
But I am saying that if you find believers now, if you stop comparing yourself to others now, and if you hustle to pursue what is meaningful to you now, you will change your life, you will change the lives of others, and you will change the world.
People like Debbie and Ted and Tom changed my life. They’re the only reason I’m standing here right now and not sitting at home on Facebook depressed, worrying about what all my friends are doing, worrying about my friend, the corporate lawyer that doesn’t even want to be a corporate lawyer. Because when you pursue meaningful work, you inspire others to as well.
You ensure that the workforce of the future will be spending its days empowering girls to become engineers, teaching financial literacy and entrepreneurship to urban youth, employing people with disabilities, and ensuring that every single person in this room and those not in this room reaches their full potential.
So you can call us idealistic, you can certainly call me idealistic, I mean my name is Smiley but we are not the“me me me”generation. We are the purpose generation, and we will be engaged with our work because we have to. The challenges facing our generation are simply too serious to ignore.
They’re too serious to only worry about on the weekend, or too serious to only worry about after 5 PM. We can’t be stuck in a high school crisis, a quarter-life crisis, a third-life crisis, or a mid-life crisis. We can’t climb the career ladder to nowhere. The stakes are too damn high.
Thank you
