我在掌著舵,好幾個鐘頭不聲不響地引著這艘火輪向海上前進(jìn)的時候,我就有這么個看法。我那時雖然被包裹在黑暗里,然而卻能更清楚地看到其他一些人的紅彤彤、瘋狂而可怕的面孔。我看到的盡是不絕如縷的幢幢鬼影,在濃煙里,在烈火里半隱半現(xiàn),最后弄得我的心靈里盡是這些類似的幻影,我本人在午夜掌舵時分就很容易打盹,這樣一來,我馬上就開始昏昏沉沉地睡著了。
But that night, in particular, a strange (and ever since inexplicable) thing occurred to me. Starting from a brief standing sleep, I was horribly conscious of something fatally wrong. The jaw-bone tiller smote my side, which leaned against it; in my ears was the low hum of sails, just beginning to shake in the wind; I thought my eyes were open; I was half conscious of putting my fingers to the lids and mechanically stretching them still further apart. But, spite of all this, I could see no compass before me to steer by; though it seemed but a minute since I had been watching the card, by the steady binnacle lamp illuminating it. Nothing seemed before me but a jet gloom, now and then made ghastly by flashes of redness. Uppermost was the impression, that whatever swift, rushing thing I stood on was not so much bound to any haven ahead as rushing from all havens astern. A stark, bewildered feeling, as of death, came over me.
尤其是那天晚上,我竟碰到了一件古怪的事情(直到如今還很費解)。我打小睡里驚醒過來,站在那里,就滿懷恐怖地覺察到有什么致命的不對頭的事兒了。我腰間靠著的那支骨制舵柄竟猛擊起我的腰際來;耳朵里聽到篷帆開始在風(fēng)里抖索,發(fā)出一陣低沉的哼哼聲;我心想,我的眼睛是張開的;我半信半疑地把我的手指湊到眼皮上,硬把它撐得更大。但是,這都不頂事;我根本看不到我面前那只掌舵用的羅盤;雖然好象我在一分鐘以前,還靠著那盞堅定的羅盤燈光望過那羅盤面。在我面前似乎什么都看不到,光是一股陰森森的噴水,不時地給赤熱的火光照耀得鬼一般可怕。首先掠過我心里的念頭是,盡管我多快多急地筆直駛?cè)?,但與其說是要奔向前邊的任何避難所,不如說是要趕緊離開后邊一切的避難所。我突然感到非?;袒鬅o措,好象死了一般。