My name is Bess Curle, but this is not my story. It is the story of my lady Mary,Queen of Scots.She wrote the story, and then she gave it to me. I am going to give it to her son.
She began the story a week ago. It was January 1587, and we sat here in our cold room in Fotheringhay Castle, in the north of England. We couldn't see much from the window.One or two houses, a river, some trees, some horses, and a road. That's all.
The road goes to London, the home of Queen Elizabeth of England. Mary sat with her little dog in her hands and watched it, all day long.
No one came along the road. Nothing happened. I watched Mary, unhappily.
‘Please, Your Majesty, come away from that window,'I said.‘ It doesn't help. No one is going to come. Queen Eliza-beth can't do it—Queens don't kill Queens.'
‘Don't they, Bess?'mary said.‘Then why are we here, in this prison?Why am I not free?'
‘Why, Your Majesty?Because Queen Elizabeth is afraid of you.'
‘That's right,'mary said.‘She's afraid of me, and she hates me too. She hates me because I am beautiful, and she is not; because I had three husbands, and she nevermarried.And because many people—good Catnolic people in England,F(xiàn)rance,Scotland,Spain—say that I, Mary, am the true Queen of England, not Elizabeth.And Elizabeth has no chil-dren, so, when she is dead, my son James…'
She came away from the window and stood in front of me.‘James,'she said quietly,‘my son.Does he think about me sometimes? He was only ten months old when I last saw him. It is nearly twenty years…'
‘Of course he thinks about you, Your Majesty,'I said. ‘You write to him often.How can he forget his mother?'
‘Then why doesn't he write to me?'mary asked.‘Does he want me to say here in an English prison?'
‘No, of course not, Your Majesty. But—he has a lot of work, Your Majesty.He is the King of Scotland, and…'
‘He is not the King of Scotland,Bess,'she said.‘Not be- fore I am dead.Remember that.'
‘No, Your Majesty, of course not. But perhaps people tell him things that areuntrue. You know what people say. Per-haps—perhaps he thinks you killed his father.'
Mary's face went white.She was very angry, and for a minute I was afraid.She said:‘You know that's a lie, Bess.It is a lie! I did not kill James's father—I knew nothing about it!'
‘I know that,Your Majesty.But perhaps James doesn't know it.He hears so many lies, all the time. He needs to know the true story.Why don't you write, and tell him?'
Mary sat down slowly. She looked old and tired.‘All right, Bess,'she said.‘Give me a pen, please. I'm going to write to James, and tell him the true story. You can give it to him when I'm dead.'
‘Dead, Your Majesty? Don't say that. You aren't going to die.'
Her old, tired eyes looked at me.‘Yes I am, Bess. You know what is going to happen. One day soon, a man is going to bring a letter from Queen Elizabeth. And then her men are going to kill me. But before I die, I would like to write to my son James. I want to tell him the story of my life.So give me a pen, please.'
I gave her a pen. This is what she wrote:
1 福瑟臨黑
我的名字叫貝斯·柯爾,但這不是我的故事。它是有關(guān)我的夫人瑪麗蘇格蘭女王的故事。她寫下了這個故事,便交給我。我將把它轉(zhuǎn)交給她的兒子。
她開始寫這個故事是在一個星期以前。那是在1587年的1月,我們坐在英格蘭北部福瑟臨黑城堡中的一間寒冷的屋子里。透過窗戶,我們看不到多少東西,一兩幢房屋,一條河流,一些樹木,幾匹馬和一條路,僅此而已。
這條路通往倫敦——英格蘭伊麗莎白女王的住宅。一整天瑪麗都坐著,手里抱著她的小狗,兩眼望著這條路。
沒有人從這條路上走來,什么也沒有發(fā)生。我望著瑪麗,心里很悲哀。
“陛下,請您離開那扇窗戶吧,”我說道。“那沒有用。不會有人來的。伊麗莎白女王不能那樣做——女王不殺女王的。”
“難道他們不會嗎,貝斯?”瑪麗說。“那我們?yōu)槭裁磿谶@里,坐在這個監(jiān)獄里?為什么我不能自由?”
“您問為什么嗎,陛下?那是因為伊麗莎白女王害怕您。”
“對極了,”瑪麗說。“她怕我,并且還恨我。她恨我是因為我漂亮,而她不漂亮;是因為我有三個丈夫,而她從沒有結(jié)婚。還因為許多人——好心的英格蘭、法國、蘇格蘭、西班牙的天主教教徒們說我瑪麗才是英格蘭真正的女王,而非伊麗莎白。伊麗莎白沒有小孩,因此,她死后,我的兒子詹姆斯……。”
她離開窗口走過來坐在我的面前。“詹姆士,”她平靜地說,“我的兒子。有時他會想起我嗎?我最后一次見到他時他才10個月。都快20年了……”
“他當然會想您的,陛下,”我說。“你經(jīng)常給他寫信,他怎么可能忘記自己的母親呢?”
“那為什么他不給我寫信呢?”瑪麗問道。“他想讓我呆在英格蘭監(jiān)獄里嗎?”
“不,當然不,陛下。可是——他有許多事要做,陛下。他是蘇格蘭的國王,而且……”
“他不是蘇格蘭國王,貝斯,”她說。“我沒死,他就不是。記住這點。”
“是的,陛下,他當然不是??墒且苍S人們會告訴他一些不真實的情況。您知道人們會說什么。也許——也許他認為是您殺死了他的父親。”
瑪麗的臉一下子變白了。她很憤怒,那一會兒我真覺得害怕。她說:“你知道那是個謊言,貝斯。那是個謊言!我沒有殺死詹姆斯的父親——我對那一無所知!”
“我知道,陛下??墒且苍S詹姆斯不知道。他總是聽到那么多謊言,他需要知道真實的情況。您為什么不寫信告訴他呢?”
瑪麗慢慢地坐了下來。她看起來又蒼老又疲憊。“好吧,貝斯,”她說。“請給我一枝筆,我這就給詹姆斯寫信,告訴他真實的故事。我死后,你可以把信交給他。”
“死?陛下,不要那樣說。您不會死。”
她看著我眼神蒼老而疲憊說道,“不,我會死的,貝斯。你知道將會發(fā)生什么。不久的一天,一個人帶來伊麗莎白女王的一封信。隨后,她的人便殺了我。但在我死之前,我要給我的兒子詹姆斯寫信。我要告訴他我一生的故事。來,給我一枝筆吧。”
我拿給她一枝筆。這就是她所寫的: