他其實(shí)沒那么喜歡你 第91期:男人古怪的對(duì)待

The Rare and Exotic "He's Afraid of the Intimacy ofSleep" Excuse

稀奇又古怪的“他害怕同床親密”的借口

Dear Greg, I have been dating a guy for a year whocan't sleep in the same bed with me.

親愛的格雷格：我和一個(gè)不和我睡同一張床的人在一起一年了。

After we have sex, which is always nice and great, hehas to go sleep on the couch.

在我們發(fā)生超贊的性愛后，他就要在沙發(fā)上睡覺。

He tells me he just "can't deal. "

他告訴我他就是做不到。

Everything else is fine with our relationship.

我們戀愛的其他方面都挺合拍。

I just figure he has some intimacy issues that I have to be patient with.

我只是想指出他有親密接觸問題，我又不得不忍受這個(gè)問題。

Does this have to be a sign that he's just not that into me, or can I just see this through?

這是他其實(shí)沒那么喜歡我的信號(hào)嗎，或者我只是想不通?

Signed: Gloria

格洛麗亞

Dear Freak-Lover, Here's what I'd like to do: Put money down on the fact that everything is infact not fine with you and freak boy's relationship.

親愛的古怪愛人：我想這么做：把錢壓在這樣的事實(shí)上，實(shí)際上你和那個(gè)奇怪的男孩之間的所有事情都不正常。

He hasn't slept in the same bed with you for a year.

他一整年都沒有和你睡在同一張床上。

This is a freak who needs to be kicked off your freak-loving couch and shown the bottom of yourfreak-loving boot.

這是一個(gè)應(yīng)該從畸戀沙發(fā)上踹下去，把畸戀靴子底亮給他看的怪人。

The fact that you even care what this freak thinks of you is just proof that the world has indeedgone mad.

你甚至關(guān)心這個(gè)怪胎對(duì)你的想法，這個(gè)事實(shí)只是說明這個(gè)世界真的已經(jīng)瘋了。

Call it curtains on the freak show. Please.

為這個(gè)怪胎秀拉下帷幕吧。拜托了。

Hugs from here, Greg

抱一下，格雷格

If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks.

如果你去約會(huì)的話，你將會(huì)見到屬于你的怪胎和混蛋。

That is as sure as death and taxes.

這跟死亡與賦稅一樣肯定。

The only thing in your control is how long you allow these gentlemen to take up space in yourlife.

你唯一可以控制的就是你允許這些紳士們占用你的生活空間多長時(shí)間。

In case you're not sure, it should be about ten minutes from when they first display theircompletely unacceptable behavior (or lizard like tail) .

如果你不能確定，那就應(yīng)該是在他們第一次徹底展示不良行為行為(或是類似蜥蜴尾巴)后的十分鐘內(nèi)。

Ten minutes still gives you time to put on all your clothes and make sure you have deletedyour number from his cell phone.

十分鐘還可以讓你所有衣服穿好，確保把自己的號(hào)碼從他的手機(jī)里刪除。

It's So Simple.

這很簡單。

There's a difference between eccentric and insane.

古怪和失常是有區(qū)別的。

"Eccentric"will sometimes wear a velvet jacket.

“古怪”有時(shí)候會(huì)穿上天鵝絨夾克。

"Insane" will only have sex with you when wearing it.

失常的人穿上它的時(shí)候只知道和你做愛。

There's a difference between teasing and abuse.

嘲笑和辱罵之間是有區(qū)別的。

Teasing is" Bjork called. She wants her dress back. "

嘲笑是“比約克說：她想要回她的裙子”。

Abuse is "Boy, are you getting fat. "

辱罵就如“老兄，你變肥了。”

But the biggest difference is you.

但是最大的區(qū)別在于你。

You all are ultimately better than the treatment you are receiving from these men.

你現(xiàn)在受到這些男人古怪的對(duì)待，你其實(shí)應(yīng)該得到更好的。