他其實(shí)沒那么喜歡你 第75期:情感上疏遠(yuǎn)對(duì)方

"Oh, if only I had played it better! He would still bemine!"

“噢，如果當(dāng)初我更高明些就好了!那他現(xiàn)在還是我的。”

Or simply, you're worried that he's dead on thestreet somewhere.

或者，你很擔(dān)心他會(huì)不會(huì)在街上或某個(gè)地方死掉了。

Why else would he just disappear like that?

要不然他怎么會(huì)突然人間蒸發(fā)呢?

So then, you want to call him and say something. Orwrite him.

接著，你就想打電話給他說點(diǎn)什么，或者給他寫信。

You're either angry or hurt, or still holding out hope that's he's in a coma at a hospitalsomewhere.

你要不就是感到很生氣或很受傷，或還殘存希望，他現(xiàn)在在某地醫(yī)院昏迷不醒。

But however you feel, you definitely think it is your right to either yell at him or find out whathappened.

但無論你是什么心情，你堅(jiān)信你有權(quán)利朝他大吼，或是找出真相。

What's worse than not knowing? Nothing. Except maybe not getting to tell him off.

有什么能比一無所知更糟糕呢?沒有。也許不能大罵他一頓除外。

Greg would say that the best revenge in this situation is not anger, but emotional distance,as quickly as possible.

格雷格會(huì)說，在此情況下，憤怒并不是最好的報(bào)復(fù)方式，盡快從情感上疏遠(yuǎn)對(duì)方才是。

Greg would say that we have the answer.

格雷格會(huì)說，我們知道答案。

He didn't want to stick around, and wasn't man enough to tell us to our face. Isn't that answerenough?

他不想留在我們身邊，也沒有膽量當(dāng)面跟我們說清楚。這還不足以說明問題嗎?

That's when I would say to Greg, "No, actually it's not. That answer's definitely not goodenough. I want to know why."

就是那時(shí)，我會(huì)告訴格雷格，“不，真的不夠。這個(gè)答案一點(diǎn)也不好。我想知道原因。”

And then Greg would say, "Really? Are you sure? Do you really need him to detail every lastreason why he didn't feel like seeing you ever again?"

然后格雷格會(huì)說，“真的嗎?你確定嗎?你真的要他仔仔細(xì)細(xì)跟你說清楚他不想再見你的全部原因嗎?”

I hate Greg.

我恨格雷格。

Breakups are horrible. But to me, what's truly devastating is to feel like you weren't evenworth a breakup.

分手很糟糕。但對(duì)我來說，更讓我備受打擊的是，自己好像連一個(gè)正式分手都不值。

Again, it's natural to want to do something about that.

重申一遍，想去做些什么是很正常的。

Greg just wants that "something" to be about moving on, as opposed to looking back.

格雷格希望那個(gè)“什么”是指向前看，與回首過去相反。

Not having closure is one of the most difficult things for me (and many people) to live with, so Iknow why it might be impossible not to call the cad.

對(duì)我而言，得不到了斷是我(和許多人一樣)最無法忍受的事情之一，所以我很清楚為什么不給那個(gè)混蛋打電話是不可能做到的。

But I guess Greg would lecture you again (he's such a know-it-all) , and say that before youmake that phone call or write that e-mail, you should at least play it out in your head.

但我猜格雷格會(huì)再教訓(xùn)你一頓(他自以為無所不知)，告訴你，在你撥那通電話或?qū)懩欠忄]件之前，至少在腦子里先預(yù)演一遍。

Will it really make you feel better? Do you think it will really change the way he feels aboutwhat he did, or you?

那真的會(huì)讓你感覺好些嗎?你真的以為那能改變他的看法嗎，對(duì)自己的所作所為或是對(duì)你?

Is it the only thing you can think of that will help you move on?

你只能想到這個(gè)辦法來讓自己向前看嗎?

If it is, then I say the hell with Greg—give the guy a call.

若果真如此，我會(huì)說，讓格雷格見鬼去吧——快給那個(gè)男的打電話。

But I guess the hope is (for me, at least) that when a guy no longer wants to communicatewith me, and doesn't have the manners or courage to tell me that to my face, he's given me allthe information I need.

但我猜，當(dāng)一個(gè)家伙再也不想和我交流，也沒有基本的禮貌或勇氣當(dāng)面跟我說，他其實(shí)已經(jīng)告訴了我所有信息。

It's the toughest one of all to put into practice.

而將其付諸行動(dòng)則是世上最難的事。

But I definitely like the kind of girl who could do it. Good luck to us all!

但我一定會(huì)喜歡那種能做得到的女孩兒。祝我們好運(yùn)!