他其實沒那么喜歡你 第52期:清醒的時候才算數(shù)

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如果你不相信格雷格

100% of men polled said they have never vomited inthe bed of a woman they were really into. (Apparently these guys don't know how to have agood time. )

百分之百的男士在調(diào)查中稱他們從未在與心愛之人同床共枕之時嘔吐過。(很顯然這些人不知道如何享樂。)

What You Should Have Learned in This Chapter

在本章中你應(yīng)該學(xué)到的

It doesn't count unless he says it when he's sober. An "I Love You" (or any semblance thereof)while under the influence of anything stronger than grape juice won't hold up in court or in life.

除非是他在清醒狀態(tài)下說的話，否則不算數(shù)。一句在比葡萄汁更烈的東西的影響下說出的“我愛你”(或者其它類似的表達)都無法在法庭上或者生活里維持下去。

Drinking and drug use are not a path to one's innermost feelings.

喝酒和吸毒并不是闡述內(nèi)心情感的途徑。

Otherwise people wouldn't smash empty beer cans against their skulls or stick their fingers infire to see if they can feel anything.

否則人們不會用空啤酒瓶砸腦袋、把手伸進火里來看是否他們能還有感覺。

If he only wants to see you, talk to you, have sex with you, etc. , when he's inebriated, it ain'tlove—it's sport.

如果他在酩酊大醉的時候想見你，想跟你聊天，想跟你做愛等等，那不是愛——是肢體運動。

Bad boys are actually bad.

壞男孩兒的確很壞。

You deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to get loaded to be around you.

你值得一個不需要喝醉了才呆在你身邊的人。

Our Super-Good Really Helpful Exercise

我們超級有用的練習(xí)

There's often a lot of drinking during the early stages of a relationship.

戀愛初期往往會涉及到很多喝酒的時候。

It may be hard to first even notice that you actually haven't ever seen your dude sober. Or,then figure out if it's a problem (for you) .

也許開始你很難發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的另一半從未清醒過。或者弄清楚這對你來說是不是一個問題。

So here is what we suggest. Go get yourself a calendar, draw a crown face in every day of theweek.

這就是我們的建議。給自己拿本日歷，在每天畫一個小丑的臉。

Shade the clown nose for every day you see him intoxicated. (That includes pot, musclerelaxers, whippets, Oxycontin, Xanax, and too much Red Bull. )

每次看見他不清醒的時候就給小丑的鼻子上色。(包括吸大麻，肌肉松弛劑，惠比特，奧施康定，阿普唑侖，和太多的紅牛。)

Only you can decide what's too much or too little for you.

只有你自己能決定是太多還是太少。

But at least you'll have the clown's habits in front of you in black and white.

但是至少你會有面前白紙黑字畫小丑的習(xí)慣。