他其實沒那么喜歡你 第18期:要和言行一致的人約會

The "He Just Says Things He Doesn't Mean" Excuse

“他只是言不由衷”的借口

Dear Greg,

親愛的格雷格，

I'm dating this guy who ends conversations saying he'llcall me at a certain time.

我正在約會的對象在談話結(jié)束后說他會在一段時間內(nèi)給我打電話。

Like, "I'll call you over the weekend." Or "I'll give you acall tomorrow."

比如說，“我會在周末給你打電話。”或者“我明天給你打電話。”

Or if he has to take a call on the other line, he promises, “I'll call you back in a few minutes."

或者如果他不得不接另一個電話的時候，他會承諾，“我會一會兒給你打電話。”

And then he doesn't. He always ends up calling, but almost never when he said he would.

然后他沒有打，他總是結(jié)束的時候說會打電話，但幾乎從來沒有打過。

Should I read something into this, or should I just know to ignore whatever he says when he'sgetting off the phone with me?

我是否應(yīng)該從這件事中有所明了，或是我應(yīng)該忽略他掛電話時說的話?

Sighed Annie

安妮

Dear Call Waiting,

親愛的等電話的人，

Yes, you should read something into it.

是的，你應(yīng)該懂得點什么。

In fact the very something is "He's just not that into you."

事實上，“他只是不那么喜歡你。”

Here's the deal. Most guys will say what they think you want to hear at the end of a date or aphone call, rather than nothing at all.

是這樣的。大多數(shù)人會說他們認(rèn)為你在掛電話的時候想聽到約會安排或電話約定，而不是什么都沒有。

Some guys are lying, some guys really mean it.

有些人在撒謊，有些人是認(rèn)真的。

Here's how you can tell the difference: You know they mean it when they actually do what they saidthey were going to do.

你應(yīng)該這樣分辨他們的差異：你知道當(dāng)他們說到做到的時候是認(rèn)真的。

Here's something else to think about: Calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick inthe house you are building of love and trust.

還有一個需要思考的問題：說了會打電話就要實行，這是構(gòu)建愛和信任的房子的第一塊磚。

If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna to have a house, baby. And it's coldoutside.

如果他無法鋪下這塊愚蠢的磚，你就永遠(yuǎn)不可能有一座房子，親愛的，外面很冷。

Wearing the jacket, Greg

穿著夾克的格雷格

We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don't mean. We make promises wedon't keep.

我們成了一堆邋遢的人。我們言不由衷。我們踐踏承諾。

"I'll call you." "Let's get together." We know we won't.

“我會打電話給你的。”“我們聚一聚吧。”我們知道我們其實并不會。

On the Human Interaction Stock Exchange, our words have lost almost all their value.

在人的互動交流證券交易所中，我們的話幾乎失去了所有的價值。

And the spiral continues, as we now don't even expect people to keep their word; in fact we mighteven be embarrassed to point out to the dirty liar that they never did what they said they weregoing to do.

漩渦在繼續(xù)，因為我們現(xiàn)在甚至不指望人們能信守諾言，事實上，我們甚至可能連指出從不信守諾言的骯臟騙子都感到尷尬。

So if a guy you're dating doesn't call when he says he's going to, why should that be such a bigdeal?

所以如果一個和你約會的人答應(yīng)了給你打電話卻沒打，那還有什么大不了的?

Because you should be dating a man who's at least as good as his word.

因為你至少要和一個能言行一致的人約會。