在一段關(guān)系中,我們花費(fèi)很多時(shí)間…
...pointing out what's wrong with the other person...
…指出對(duì)方哪里做錯(cuò)…
...and insisting on our blamelessness.
…并堅(jiān)持自己無(wú)可指責(zé)。
We imagine that's a good strategy for getting what we want...
我們認(rèn)為這個(gè)好方法可以讓我們得到理想的結(jié)果…
...and for being happy in a couple, but that's nonsense.
…并相處的快樂(lè),但這全是無(wú)稽之談。
Next time you feel strong enough that you can,...
下次當(dāng)你覺(jué)得自己足夠強(qiáng)大…
...for a moment, stop insisting you're always right.
…片刻就好,不要總是堅(jiān)持自己是對(duì)的。
Try a different tack.
試試看另一種方式。
Out of the blue, say, "Sorry I'm so anxious."
突如其來(lái)的說(shuō):對(duì)不起,我太焦慮了。
"Sorry I lose my temper."
對(duì)不起,我情緒失控了。
"Sorry I don't listen enough."
對(duì)不起,我沒(méi)有仔細(xì)傾聽(tīng)。
"Sorry I'm too preoccupied."
對(duì)不起,我分心了。
"Sorry I both want you close and push you away."
對(duì)不起,我既想要你接近我,卻又把你推開(kāi)。
"Sorry I'm not always balanced, sane or mature."
對(duì)不起,我并不總是能夠權(quán)衡,不夠理智也不夠成熟。
You think that might weaken you, make you hostage to the partner's vengeance.
你認(rèn)為道歉可能會(huì)讓你示弱,讓你被另一半的怨恨所傷害。
It never does.
并不是這樣的。
Everything always gets better from that point.
在這之后,每件事情都會(huì)好轉(zhuǎn)。
Give it a try.
試試看吧。
Sorry I'm so crazy.
對(duì)不起,我太瘋狂了。