生活英語(yǔ)聽(tīng)力文章：丹尼斯威特力的14種方法來(lái)構(gòu)建你的自尊
14種方式建立起你的自尊——丹尼斯-韋特利
Recently I listened to an interview between Denis Waitley*, one of the greatest teachers in human achievement and Darren Hardy, publisher of Success Magazine. One of the questions Hardy asked Waitley was, “How can people improve their self-esteem?”
Waitley first defined the term by saying, “Your self-esteem is the deep-down, inside-the-skin feeling of your own worth, regardless of how you look or where you came from. It is the feeling of worthiness—just being glad you are you. It’s the feeling of identity—finding something unique about yourself. It has the feeling of competency—if I do something and it works out, it gives me the courage to do something more.”
Continuing, Waitley listed fourteen ways that people can strengthen their self-esteem.
1. Lead with your hand. When you walk into a room always lead with your hand by offering a firm handshake. This gives you a feeling of self-assurance and indicates to others that you are confident in who you are.
2. Make eye contact. Making eye contact indicates you are a caring person capable of holding the glass of another person.
3. Offer Your Name First When meeting people, always introduce yourself by saying your name.
4. Smile. A smile indicates there’s a light on in your window and that you are a caring and sharing person inside.
5. Dress your best. Always dress your best—not necessarily in designer clothing—and take pride in how you look. It’s the outside of the package that draws people in.
6. Ask engaging questions. When you ask questions you are demonstrating your genuine interest in others.
7. Sit in front. When you attend meetings, sit up front and be an active participant.
8. Walk with confidence. Walk with a spring in your step—a certain type of charisma and feeling about yourself.
9. Use a positive explanatory style. Listen carefully to how people describe themselves, as that often tells a lot about how people feel about themselves. Do they say negative things? Do they make excuses? Always explain yourself with a positive explanatory style.
10. Accept compliments. When you graciously accept compliments, you are accepting yourself for who you are rather than making excuses about yourself.
11. Keep your self-talk positive. We are all our own worse critics. No eyes are as critical as our own. We don’t like pictures and videos of ourselves. There is no voice or set of eyes that has the power to discourage like your own. Look for the good in you, not the bad, and when you look in the mirror count your blessings, not your blemishes.
12. Look at what you do well. When things aren’t going well, look back at the things you have done well. When we focus on what’s good about ourselves, we feel good about ourselves. When we focus on our faults, mistakes and weaknesses, we naturally feel poorly about ourselves.
13. Hang around the right people. Our circle of influence is our circle of influencers that have a powerful impact on how we feel about our abilities and ourselves. Hang around people with the same goals, rather than the same problems. Play with better golfers and bowlers. Spend your time with people who have been more successful in the same fields.
14. Expect good things from yourself. You will not do anything or reach any goal you don’t expect to achieve. Our expectations are at the root of all our achievements, and our achievements have a profound impact on how we view and feel about ourselves.
I encourage you to print out Denis Waitley’s list of ways to improve your self-esteem and read the linked Little Things Matter posts that edify his ideas. I then challenge you to be intentional about implementing each of them into your daily lives.
As you focus on building your self-esteem, remember the wise words from Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
最近我收聽(tīng)了《成功雜志》的出版商達(dá)倫-哈代對(duì)丹尼斯-韋特利的訪談，后者是人類成就學(xué)領(lǐng)域最杰出的講師之一。(其中)哈代問(wèn)惠特利的一個(gè)問(wèn)題是：“人們?nèi)绾翁嵘宰鸶?” 惠特利首先對(duì)“自尊”做了定義，說(shuō)“你的自尊是內(nèi)心深處對(duì)于自我價(jià)值的感知，它不受制于你的長(zhǎng)相或你的出身。它是對(duì)(自我)價(jià)值的鑒賞，為自我的存在感到快樂(lè)。它是對(duì)(自我)身份的鑒賞，發(fā)覺(jué)自己的獨(dú)特魅力。它有著對(duì)(自我)能力的鑒賞，即如果我把一件事做得很好，這就使我有了勇氣去做更多的事情。” 接著，惠特利列舉了14種方式，都是幫助人們加強(qiáng)自尊的。
1. 從手開(kāi)始。當(dāng)你走進(jìn)一個(gè)房間，你要時(shí)常先給對(duì)方一個(gè)堅(jiān)定的握手。這能給你自我肯定的感覺(jué)，也給他人展現(xiàn)出你的自信。
2. 眼神交流。眼神的交流顯示了你是一個(gè)關(guān)切他人的人，能夠幫助他人。
3. 先報(bào)上名。當(dāng)你和人會(huì)面時(shí)，應(yīng)該時(shí)常自報(bào)姓名地介紹自己。
4. 保持微笑。一個(gè)微笑就像一窗戶上的一道光，表示你是真心關(guān)懷和分享的人。
5. 漂亮穿衣。永遠(yuǎn)要穿你最漂亮的衣服——不一定是名牌的——為自己的打扮感到自豪。外在的包裝也拉近人的距離。
6. 魅力提問(wèn)。當(dāng)你提問(wèn)時(shí)，你是在展示你對(duì)他人真正所感興趣的地方。
7. 坐在前面。當(dāng)你參加會(huì)議時(shí)，要坐在前排，做積極的與會(huì)人。
8. 步伐自信。走路步伐要輕快——領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者的一個(gè)典型特征，自我鑒賞。
9. 積極闡述。認(rèn)真地聽(tīng)別人闡述自己，這通常也表明他們?nèi)绾慰创麄冏约?。他們?huì)說(shuō)自己的負(fù)面信息嗎?他們給自己找托詞嗎?你要一直用積極的言語(yǔ)闡述你自己。
10. 接受贊許。當(dāng)你和藹地接受贊許時(shí)，你是在自我接受，而不是為自己找臺(tái)階。
11. 積極自詡。我們都是自己的“惡評(píng)員”。沒(méi)有誰(shuí)的眼睛比我們自己的更挑剔。我們(往往)不喜歡自己的照片或視頻。沒(méi)有誰(shuí)的聲音或眼睛更能挫敗我們自己了。你要學(xué)會(huì)去看自己好的一面，而不是糟糕的一面，當(dāng)你照鏡子的時(shí)候，看自己的美，而不是瑕疵。
12. 關(guān)注成功。當(dāng)事情進(jìn)展不順利時(shí)，回想自己的成功。當(dāng)我們關(guān)注自己的優(yōu)勢(shì)時(shí)，我們會(huì)賞識(shí)自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn)。當(dāng)我們聚焦自己的缺點(diǎn)、錯(cuò)誤和弱點(diǎn)時(shí)，我們很自然地會(huì)自我貶低。
13. 結(jié)交益友。我們的朋友圈對(duì)我們的影響可以延伸到我們?nèi)绾慰创约旱哪芰臀覀儽旧?。結(jié)交與我們志趣相投的朋友，而不是同病相憐的人。和更棒的高爾夫球手、更好的保齡球手一起玩兒。多花時(shí)間和那些你的領(lǐng)域中有更多成就的在人一起。
14. 自我期待。你不會(huì)做自己不想做的事，也不會(huì)達(dá)成自己不想要的一個(gè)目標(biāo)。我們的期望是我們成功的根源，而我們的成功會(huì)深深地影響我們對(duì)自己的看法和認(rèn)知。 我鼓勵(lì)你們將丹尼斯-韋特利的這些建議打印出來(lái)，并閱讀相關(guān)的細(xì)節(jié)例子，提升自尊意識(shí)。然后我要求你們用心地將它們付諸實(shí)踐到生活中去。 在你專注提升自尊的時(shí)候，請(qǐng)記得拉爾夫·瓦爾多·愛(ài)默生的至理名言，他說(shuō)，“我們的過(guò)去和我們的將來(lái)如何都很渺小，因?yàn)槲覀儍?nèi)心如何才更關(guān)鍵。”
When you concentrate on positive actions and attitudes, not only will you achieve greater personal and professional success, but you will also enjoy the powerful side effect of an improved self-image.
當(dāng)你關(guān)注積極的事情和心態(tài)時(shí)，你不僅可以收獲個(gè)人和職業(yè)上的更偉大的成功，你還將享受隨之而來(lái)的更好的自我評(píng)價(jià)。
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