生活英語(yǔ)聽(tīng)力文章：對(duì)不起,道歉的藝術(shù)
I’m Sorry! 對(duì)不起，道歉的藝術(shù)
Apologizing is not as simple as saying “I’m sorry.” Truly thoughtful apologies repair and rebuild relationships but thoughtless or insincere apologies may do more harm than good.
道歉不僅僅是簡(jiǎn)單的說(shuō)句“對(duì)不起”。實(shí)際上考慮周到的道歉能有利于修復(fù)和重建關(guān)系然而輕率或是不真誠(chéng)的道歉可能會(huì)利大于弊。
Think of the last time you apologized for something you said or did. What words did you speak? Were they heartfelt and honest? Did your voice tone and body language send the same or a different message than your words? Were excuses and justifications mixed in with your apology?
回想一下你最后一次為某事而道歉的時(shí)候你說(shuō)了或做了些什么。你說(shuō)了些什么話?那些話是真心實(shí)意的嗎?你的語(yǔ)調(diào)和動(dòng)作與你所說(shuō)的話是傳達(dá)了相同還是相反的信息呢?在你的道歉中總是否參雜著各種理由和借口呢?
The way in which we apologize says a lot about our character. Do we accept full responsibly for the things we say and do or do we feel the need to explain the reason for our actions by pointing fingers? Do the words coming out of our mouths have real meaning or are we just apologizing because it’s expected of us?
道歉的方式與我們的性格有著很大的關(guān)系。我們是會(huì)為自己的所說(shuō)所做承擔(dān)全部的責(zé)任呢還是會(huì)覺(jué)得有必要把理由點(diǎn)出來(lái)為自己的行為解釋?我們道歉是因?yàn)檎f(shuō)出來(lái)的話里有著真實(shí)的意義呢還是覺(jué)得去道歉僅僅是因?yàn)閷?duì)方的需要?
We all make mistakes. No one’s perfect. But how we rebound from those mistakes and apologize for our behavior will play a critical role in the impressions we make and the respect we have from our friends, family and co-workers. If done correctly your apology will make a lasting impression and distinguish you as someone who accepts responsibility for your actions.
人人都犯過(guò)錯(cuò)，沒(méi)有人是完美的。但是我們回應(yīng)錯(cuò)誤和為自己行為道歉的方式將會(huì)在我們能否在親友、同事中獲得尊重和取得良好印象中起著至關(guān)重要的作用。如果處理的恰當(dāng)，你的道歉將會(huì)為你贏得一個(gè)持久的好印象并且會(huì)使你作為一個(gè)能為自己行為負(fù)責(zé)的人脫穎而出。
My wife and I have four children. So you can imagine there have been numerous times when we’ve had to remind them about how to give a proper apology. Today’s tips are based upon the lessons we have taught our children over the years and I give my wife full credit for helping all of us learn how to make things right.
我和我的愛(ài)人有四個(gè)孩子，因此你能想得到有很多時(shí)候我們必須去提醒他們?cè)鯓尤ソo出一個(gè)正當(dāng)?shù)牡狼浮，F(xiàn)如今的秘訣都是基于這些年我們教導(dǎo)孩子時(shí)所得到的教訓(xùn)上的，并且在對(duì)幫助大家學(xué)習(xí)怎樣去使事情變得更順利的方面，我覺(jué)得應(yīng)當(dāng)全部歸功于我的妻子。
Don’t Justify Your Actions Or Make Excuses
別為你的行為辯護(hù)或找借口
Don’t make the common mistake of giving an explanation or a justification when you apologize. It will cheapen and discount your apology.
千萬(wàn)別犯這種常見(jiàn)的錯(cuò)誤，當(dāng)你在道歉的時(shí)候還想著去找借口、找理由。這只會(huì)使你的道歉變得廉價(jià)。
The best way to apologize is to accept responsibility for your actions and start with the obvious words, “I’m sorry.” This won’t be easy, especially if your regrettable actions were in response to someone else’s actions. It takes a strong person to accept responsibility for their actions and not justify them. You are in control of your actions and blaming others is just a lame excuse.
道歉的最好方式就是去為你之前的行為承擔(dān)責(zé)任并且以“對(duì)不起”這種明顯的措辭開(kāi)始。然而這并不容易，尤其是如果你的這個(gè)抱歉舉動(dòng)是用來(lái)回應(yīng)別人的一些行為的話。強(qiáng)大的人是會(huì)為自己的行動(dòng)負(fù)責(zé)而不是為它們找理由。你才是自己行為的主導(dǎo)者，出錯(cuò)時(shí)責(zé)備別人只會(huì)是一個(gè)毫無(wú)說(shuō)服力的借口而已。
Mean What You Say
實(shí)話實(shí)說(shuō)
Be genuine and honest. If you try to fake your way through an apology, people will see right through it and it will only make the situation worse. If you have done something you shouldn’t have done or said something you shouldn’t have said, you have just made a negative impression.
保持真誠(chéng)和誠(chéng)實(shí)。如果你嘗試假道歉,人們將看到穿過(guò)它,它只會(huì)使情況變得更糟。如果你做了你不該做或說(shuō)一些你不該說(shuō),你剛剛作出了一個(gè)給人消極的印象。
An insincere apology is like pounding that negative impression in their head with a hammer. It’s a sure way to lose someone’s respect.
不真誠(chéng)的道歉,就像洶涌的負(fù)面印象的錘頭，肯定要失去別人的尊重。
Focus on making sure your tone and body language send the same messages as the words you speak. It’s also helpful to include some specifics in your apology beyond the words “I’m sorry”. Acknowledging what you did wrong conveys that you really understand the impact of your words or actions.
專注于確保你的語(yǔ)氣和肢體語(yǔ)言跟你說(shuō)的話發(fā)送相同的信息。也有助于包括一些在你的道歉中的細(xì)節(jié)而不僅僅是聲“對(duì)不起”。承認(rèn)自己做錯(cuò)了什么讓你真正了解你的言語(yǔ)和行為的影響。
You may need a little time to pass to collect your thoughts before delivering a genuine apology but don’t let the clock run out. When you know you need to apologize for something, the sooner you can do it effectively, the better.
你可能需要一點(diǎn)時(shí)間通過(guò)收集你的想法之前提供一個(gè)真正的道歉但是不要讓時(shí)鐘耗盡。當(dāng)你知道你需要道歉的事情,你能做到有效,越早越好。
Ask For Forgiveness
求得原諒
After you have apologized, then seek forgiveness. Offer to make amends if appropriate. And then hopefully the other person will agree to forgive you and you both can move on. It takes a strong person to apologize as I have described but doing so will be bring closure to your mistake and potentially restore a damaged relationship.
You can imagine what comes next. Who needs an apology from you? Do you have any damaged relationships? TODAY’s challenge is to make a call or set up an appointment with someone who you have wronged, offended or misguided. Think about the words you will use and the way you will deliver those words. Will you accept the challenge?
你可以想象接下來(lái)會(huì)發(fā)生什么。誰(shuí)需要道歉嗎?你有任何損壞的關(guān)系嗎?今天的挑戰(zhàn)是打電話或與你有委屈,冒犯或誤導(dǎo)的人約會(huì)。思考你將使用的話語(yǔ)和你將這些話的方式。你愿意接受挑戰(zhàn)嗎?
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