英語(yǔ)視頻暢談歐美人文風(fēng)情13：學(xué)這招傾聽(tīng)技巧,讓你在職場(chǎng)上無(wú)往不利
Stephen Covey wrote a book called The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People few years ago. Some of you may be familiar with it. He had a lot of really great stuff on listening in his book. Amongst that, he had five...he identified five levels of listening.
Stephen Covey 幾年前寫過(guò)一本叫做“高效率人們的七種習(xí)慣”。你們某些人可能對(duì)那很熟悉。他在書里有許多關(guān)于傾聽(tīng)真的很棒的東西。在那之中，他有五個(gè)...他訂定傾聽(tīng)的五個(gè)等級(jí)。
Now the first three levels are kind of waffling. None of you should be listening at that level. It's the last two—active and empathic listening—that I want to talk about.
現(xiàn)在前面三個(gè)等級(jí)有點(diǎn)不清不楚的。你們之中沒(méi)有任何一人應(yīng)該要以那種等級(jí)傾聽(tīng)。最后兩個(gè)--積極和同理傾聽(tīng)--正是我想要談?wù)摰摹?/p>
Active listening is when you are actively engaged, so you might be asking questions; you might be nodding; you might be making listening sounds, uh huh, uh huh, hmm...that's interesting.
積極傾聽(tīng)是當(dāng)你正積極投入時(shí)，所以你也許會(huì)問(wèn)問(wèn)題;你也許會(huì)點(diǎn)頭;你也許會(huì)發(fā)出在傾聽(tīng)的聲音：嗯哼、嗯哼、嗯...那很有趣。
And paraphrasing is also involved in active listening. Paraphrasing is great, because when you repeat the words back to someone that they have said in your own words, it gives them a chance not only to clarify but also to let them know that you're listening. So active listening is nice.
改述同樣也包括在積極傾聽(tīng)中。改述很棒，因?yàn)楫?dāng)你用自己的話向某人覆述他剛剛說(shuō)過(guò)的話，這給了他們不只能澄清的機(jī)會(huì)、還能讓他們知道你在傾聽(tīng)。所以積極傾聽(tīng)很好。
But Covey says we should be working towards the big one—empathic listening—and that is listening with your left and your right brain. Now what that means is listening with your left brain for the words, and listening with your right brain for the emotion.
但 Covey 說(shuō)我們應(yīng)該要朝向更重大的那一種去努力--同理傾聽(tīng)--那是用你的左腦和右腦傾聽(tīng)。現(xiàn)在那表示用你的左腦傾聽(tīng)話語(yǔ)，并用你的右腦傾聽(tīng)情緒。
So if you listen with your right brain, you might hear things in body language. So, it's my son. You might hear things like tension in a voice, tiredness in the slump of a shoulder. If you learn to listen for emotion, you're gonna pick up a whole heap more information.
所以如果你用你的右腦傾聽(tīng)，你也許會(huì)聽(tīng)到肢體語(yǔ)言中的內(nèi)容。所以，那是我兒子。你也許會(huì)聽(tīng)出像是聲音中的緊張情緒、肩膀垂下中的疲累感的東西。你學(xué)會(huì)傾聽(tīng)情緒，你就會(huì)得到整個(gè)更大批的資訊。
So what do we do about listening? How do we become better listeners? Well, one thing is listen for repetitive words. People repeat the stuff that's important to them. So I feel like I had to ask my husband; I feel like this is sounding really good; I feel like this is the right choice for me, right? Feeling is important to that person. They've also given you some extra information, because if someone is using the word "feeling" a lot, it also means they have quite been on a preference.
所以我們對(duì)于傾聽(tīng)要做些什么?我們?nèi)绾纬蔀楦玫膬A聽(tīng)者?這個(gè)嘛，其中一件事是去傾聽(tīng)重復(fù)的話語(yǔ)。人們重復(fù)對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)很重要的東西。所以我覺(jué)得我好像要去問(wèn)問(wèn)我丈夫;我覺(jué)得這聽(tīng)起來(lái)非常不錯(cuò);我覺(jué)得這對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)是正確的選擇，對(duì)吧?“感覺(jué)”對(duì)這個(gè)人來(lái)說(shuō)很重要。他們同樣也給了你額外的資訊，因?yàn)槿绻橙撕艹Ｊ褂?ldquo;覺(jué)得”這個(gè)字，這同樣代表他們頗偏好使用它的。
People also emphasize stuff that's important to them. I'm gonna snap! I'm at the end of my tether! Listen for emphasis.
人們通常強(qiáng)調(diào)對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)重要的事物。我要發(fā)瘋了!我實(shí)在無(wú)計(jì)可施了!傾聽(tīng)強(qiáng)調(diào)之處。
See? This is the stuff that we can't do if we're doing all the talking.So if you listen through a repetition, listen for emphasis, you're going to start honing in on the stuff that's really important to them.
看到了嗎?如果我們?nèi)荚谡f(shuō)話，這就是我們做不到的事。所以如果你傾聽(tīng)重復(fù)、傾聽(tīng)強(qiáng)調(diào)之處，你會(huì)開(kāi)始專注于對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)確實(shí)很重要的事物上。
Try and focus on the big picture, and this is particularly when you're with people who ramble a lot, you know, people live in a stream of consciousness—I'm sure you know the one—the person who comes in and says, "Hi, I'm thinking about going on a trip to Bali, because bikini stores at the Bali was really great. And I was gonna get to Seminyak, because I heard it's got all the bars and all the fun over there. But, you know, my boy sort of likes surfing, so I thought that maybe we should go to Dekuta. In fact, Terry's been surfing since he was six. You should see him. Can I show you the photos? I was thinking about going to Phuket." Right, you know the ones I'm talking about?
嘗試并專注于重點(diǎn)上，而這特別是當(dāng)你和很常碎碎念的人在一起時(shí)，你知道，生活在意識(shí)流中的人--我相信你認(rèn)識(shí)這種人--那種人會(huì)進(jìn)來(lái)然后說(shuō)：“海，我在想要去峇里島旅游，因?yàn)閸Q里島的比基尼商店都很棒。我還要去 Seminyak，因?yàn)槲衣?tīng)說(shuō)那兒有酒吧和所有有趣的東西。但是，你知道的，我兒子有點(diǎn)喜歡沖浪，所以我想也許我們應(yīng)該去 Dekuta。事實(shí)上，Terry 從他六歲就開(kāi)始沖浪。你應(yīng)該看看他。我可以給你看照片嗎?我在想要改去普吉島。”好的，你知道我在說(shuō)的那種人嗎?
Focus on your big picture, get right up in a helicopter and try just to listen for the message.
專注于你的大局面，直接登上直升機(jī)然后就傾聽(tīng)那訊息。
Don't dominate the conversation. You know who you are. People who like to talk too much and like to just throw all their information in, don't dominate.
別主導(dǎo)對(duì)話。你知道我在說(shuō)誰(shuí)吧。就是那些喜歡說(shuō)太多話、喜歡就丟出所有他們資訊的人，別主導(dǎo)對(duì)話。
If you've ever had a time, and I'm sure you have, because most of us have been through this when you've told a story, you stop your story, and there's just the silence, like crickets chirping on the Simpsons, right? No one was listening. How do you feel? We don't feel good when we're not listened to. So don't dominate. Learn to harness yourself and stop and listen.
如果你曾有過(guò)這種時(shí)候，我信你們都有，因?yàn)槲覀兇蠖嗳硕冀?jīng)歷過(guò)這個(gè)，當(dāng)你講個(gè)故事，你停下你的故事，然后那里就一片寂靜，像是辛普森家庭(卡通)里只有蟋蟀唧唧叫的樣子，對(duì)吧?沒(méi)人在聽(tīng)。你感覺(jué)如何?當(dāng)沒(méi)人傾聽(tīng)時(shí)，我們感受很差。所以不要主導(dǎo)。學(xué)習(xí)控制自己，并停下來(lái)傾聽(tīng)。
Finally, listen without judgement. It's a really difficult thing to do, because we tend to, as human beings, we judge. Let someone get that thought out first before you come back to judge.
最后，不帶著意見(jiàn)去傾聽(tīng)。這是很難做到的事，因?yàn)槲覀儍A向于，身為人類，我們傾向于去批判。在你回來(lái)評(píng)判之前，讓某人先說(shuō)出那想法。
And finally, Hugh Mackay the social researcher says that listening is a gift, a generous gift that we give the other person, a very respectful generous gift. And if you shut down all the folders in your mind and listen like a lion, and focus on the one person speaking to you, it is a gift. And you equally will get an enormous gift back with all the information that comes your way.
最后，社會(huì)研究員 Hugh Mackay 表示傾聽(tīng)是種禮物，一份我們給予他人大方的禮物，一份帶著敬意非常大方的禮物。如果你關(guān)上腦中所有儲(chǔ)存想法的文件夾，并像獅子狩獵般傾聽(tīng)，并專注于跟你說(shuō)話的那一個(gè)人身上，這是份禮物。你同樣也會(huì)得到一份極大的回禮，帶著送到你面前的所有資訊。
