百科知識視頻之煎蛋小學(xué)堂38 關(guān)于蝸牛的事實真相

這是關(guān)于蝸牛的一些事實真相。蝸牛就好比一個小人 恰巧外形像是一根脫離人體的舌頭。而且還裹著鼻涕膿。還有一個殼。蝸牛呼吸空氣就和人類一樣 而且同樣靠嘴巴吃飯。它用下方的一對觸角來聞氣味 上方的一對勉強(qiáng)解決視力問題。然而它卻沒有耳朵使得聽覺大打折扣。完全不可能 真的。它們是聾子。

But in all other ways,they're exactly like a tiny human being who happens to have a peins next to his face.And a vagina.Most land snails are hermaphodites meaning they have both mommy parts and daddy parts.This however does not mean that they can self baby make.When they mate,land snails circle around one another.Think full body French kiss,but with more mucus.

不過總的來說 它們完全就是縮小版的人類啊 只不過恰巧在臉旁邊長了根陰莖。還有個陰道。大多數(shù)的蝸牛都是雌雄同體 這意味著父母大人有的器官它們都有。但這并不是說它們就可以自己和自己 生寶寶。在交配的時節(jié) 蝸牛彼此之間會互相打探。想象一下全身心的法式舌吻 外加粘稠鼻膿。

As they do this,they're looking for opportunities to impale each other with their love darts.I wish this was a metaphor,but it's not.They actually have love darts.like actual darts.It's crazy.Land snails have a totally different level of kinky.These calcified darts,which look totally bad ass,are stored in the snail's dart sac,located right below the penis.When the darts impale the mate,they inhibit spermicidal secretions which makes the next part more effective.

在這一過程中 它們會等待最佳時機(jī)用愛神之箭射進(jìn)對方身體。我希望這只是個比喻 但它不是。它們真的是有愛神之箭。就像弓箭一樣 太暴力了。蝸牛的惡趣味等級和其他物種不同。這些石化的愛箭 好兇殘好狂野，它們被存放在蝸牛的箭囊之中 位于陰莖下方。當(dāng)愛箭射入伴侶體內(nèi)時它會抑制對方的精蟲殺手 這會使得之后的過程更高效。

After a spirited darting,the snails insert their penises into each other's vaginas and then the just hang out.and try not to laugh,because that might hurt the other snail's fellings.Even if all the junk is right there in your face,it's not nice to laugh.The snail holds onto sperm for multiple partners before fertilizing its eggs which makes paternity tests a bitch.The eggs are then laid into top soil and soon baby snails emerge.Thus completing the spiral of life.

在一頓亂箭飛舞之后蝸牛會把自己的陰莖插入彼此的陰道中 之后就開始刷無聊圖。而且還不能笑 因為這樣會傷害到小伙伴的感情。就算你的眼前是一堆雞雞你也不應(yīng)該笑場。在給它的蛋受精之前蝸牛會積攢多位小伙伴的精蟲 這樣你就不知道是哪個爹被坑了。之后蝸牛會把卵產(chǎn)在土壤里不久小蝸牛就孵化了.至此也就完成了繩命的螺旋。

See what I did there?Spiral of ...oh God,kill me.So next time you get anxious about sex or sexuality remember that when you meet someone you find attractive at least you don't have to worry about a dart getting shot into your head.

看我都說了啥?螺旋。。。尼瑪我去吃屎吧。下次如果你對性愛產(chǎn)生了焦慮 記住當(dāng)你遇見自己心儀的對象時 至少你不用擔(dān)心對方深藏弓和箭。