午后咖啡unit04 The Rules of Game 游戲規(guī)則
Italians love women. Russians love Vodka. What do Americans love? They love rules. There are thousands of books dedicated to the idea that whatever you are doing, you can learn to do it better. And they all seem to come from the United States. In fact, the rules-based self-help book is one of America’s major cultural exports.
These books cover every area of life, from love to work and back again. But they can be divided into two basic kinds. The first takes a masculine approach, though not all readers are men. It reduces every one of life’s tasks into an engineering problem. Just follow these rules and your performance will improve. This is like turning up the engine on the car to make it go just that little bit faster.
The second kind tells you to change your life on a deeper level. These “feminine” books ask you to search deep inside yourself for the answers to life’s problems. They offer rules you can use to change the state of your heart. Change that, and everything else follows.
How do you change your inner self? California-based self-help guru Deepak Chopra thinks you should teach your molecules to vibrate in tune with the universe. He says that advanced physics proves this idea. Advanced physicists disagree. But Chopra is seriou. So are the millions of Americans who buy his books.
Most self-help books are more in tune with the visible world. A common technique is to apply ideas from foreign cultures and historical figures to modern situation. The wisdom of the famous Chinese general Sun Zi has been repackaged in several books designed to help modern-day businessmen. And it doesn’t stop there. “Sun Zi’s wisdom is the basis for a step-by-step program for taking charge, gaining a commitment, sustaining love, enlivening passion in a partnership” that is from the “Art of War for Lovers” by Donald Krause.
Maybe a famous general is the right person to help in the battles of the sexes. But the real leaders are two middle-aged blonde women. In 1997, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider published “The Rules: Time-tested Secrets” to win the heart of Mr. Right. Selling over 2 million copies, “The Rules” has become an official guidebook for romance to women across the western world. It is based on an old saying—“Treat them mean to keep them keen.”
According to “The Rules”, women should never ask for a date and never pay when they go on one. A woman should never phone a man, or see him more than three times a week. “Make Mr. Right obsessed with you by making yourself unattainable”.
Millions of women gave it a try. Then something happened. In March, 2001, Ellen Fein’s husband announced that he was divorcing her. His reason was abandonment. It seems that Mrs, Fein had spent so much time telling other women how to find potential husbands, she had forgotten about her actual husband.
The public reacted with amusement. It’s always nice to see the experts get things wrong. But there is no sign that people have stopped wanting to be told about how to live their lives. Some rules might not work. But “The Rules” go on forever.
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