生活大爆炸第一季第十六集Leonard的生日派對事件

[00:00.00] [00:04.20]- I got him! - Take him down! - 超過他了! - 打敗他! [00:03.76]- He's got you, sheldon. - Look at this move! - 他超過你了 Sheldon - 瞧這下! [00:05.00]He's completely schooling you. 他完全超過你了 [00:08.88]Hey, guys, guys, some of the other waitresses wanted me to ask you something. 嘿 伙計們 伙計們 別的女服務(wù)生要我問你們點事 [00:10.76]It's called tressling. 這叫Tressling [00:12.76]It combines the physical strength of arm wrestling with the mental agility of tetris 是一項將掰手腕的體力和 玩俄羅斯方塊的 [00:15.68]into the ultimate sport. 思維能力集為一體的運動 [00:18.28]Yeah, that's terrific, but what they wanted me to ask you is to cut it the hell out. 嗯 聽起來很厲害 但是她們叫你們快別玩了 [00:22.40]Great. Come here, guys. Come on. 很好 來吧 伙計們 來吧 [00:24.96]Happy birthday to you 祝你生日快樂 [00:27.96]we might as well stop. It's a stalemate. 我們最好停下吧 陷入平局了 [00:30.44]You're beating me in tetris, but you've got the upper body strength of a keebler elf. 俄羅斯方塊上你贏了我 但你的上肢力量就像Keebler餅干玩偶 [00:30.44]美國著名餅干品牌 主要形象是小玩偶 [00:35.28]Keebler elf? I've got your keebler elf right here. Keebler玩偶? 讓你瞧瞧Keebler玩偶的厲害 [00:41.44]okay, it's a stalemate. 好吧 平局 [00:46.56]So, leonard, will we be seeing you on saturday for your free birthday cheesecake? 那么 Leonard 周六帶免費芝士蛋糕去見你? [00:50.16]He can't eat cheesecake. He's lactose intolerant. 他不能吃芝士蛋糕 他不吃乳糖的 [00:51.60]Okay, he can have carrot cake. 好吧 他可以吃胡蘿卜蛋糕 [00:53.64]What about the cream cheese frosting? 那層奶油干酪怎么辦? [00:55.88]He can scrape it off. 可以刮掉嘛 [00:58.96]Forget about the cake. How do you know that my birthday's saturday? 別管蛋糕了 你怎么知道周六是我生日? [01:02.00]I did your horoscope, remember? 我?guī)湍闼氵^星座 記得不? [01:01.28]I was going to do everybody's, until sheldon went on one of his typical psychotic rants. 我本來要幫所有人算的 但Sheldon開始了他的瘋言瘋語 [01:07.92]For the record, "that psychotic rant" 請注意 你所謂的"瘋言瘋語" [01:10.04]was a concise summation of the research of bertram forer, 是巴納姆效應(yīng)的簡明總結(jié) [01:13.40]who, in 1948, proved conclusively through meticulously designed experiments 他在1948年經(jīng)過精密的設(shè)計性實驗得出 [01:15.00]that astrology is nothing but pseudo-scientific hokum. 占星學(xué)只不過是一堆偽科學(xué)的廢話 [01:19.96]Blah, blah, blah. Typical taurus. 廢話好多 典型的金牛座 [01:21.08]So, seriously, are we going to see you saturday? 說真的 我們周六能見到你嗎? [01:24.76]Uh, I don't think so. 呃 我不這么認(rèn)為 [01:26.28]Why not? 為什么不? [01:26.28]I don't celebrate my birthday. 我不慶祝生日的 [01:28.60]Shut up. Yeah, you do. 少來 咋會不慶祝呢 [01:28.68]It's no big deal; it's just the way I was raised. 就是普通日子嘛 我就這么長大的 [01:32.32]My parents focused on celebrating achievements, 我父母注重于慶祝巨大成就 [01:32.72]and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them. 我從產(chǎn)道里蹦出來對他們來說 并不是什么成就 [01:39.00]that's so silly. 這太愚蠢了 [01:38.08]Sheldon: It's actually based on very sound theories. 實際上這基于非常有力的理論 [01:40.44]His mother published a paper on it. 他母親還就此發(fā)表了論文 [01:44.92]Well, what was it called? 哦? 叫什么題目? [01:45.84]"I hate my son and that's why he can't have cake"? "我討厭我兒子 所以他不能吃蛋糕"? [01:48.72]Sheldon: It was obviously effective. 這樣做顯然很有效果 [01:48.24]Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist. Leonard長大成為一個實驗物理學(xué)家 [01:51.76]Perhaps if she'd also denied him christmas, he'd be a little better at it. 也許 如果她也不讓他過圣誕節(jié) 他就會比現(xiàn)在更優(yōu)秀 [01:55.56]Thank you. 謝謝你 [01:59.76]Well, I love birthdays. 我喜歡過生日 [01:59.84]Waking up to mom's special french toast breakfast, 早上起來吃媽媽特制的法國吐司 [02:02.04]wearing the birthday king crown, playing laser tag with all my friends... 頭戴生日王冠 和所有的朋友一起玩激光搏擊... [02:05.28]yeah, see? That's what kids should have. 是啊 瞧見沒? 孩子就應(yīng)該這么過 [02:07.68]Actually, that was last year. 實際上 說的是我去年的生日 [02:14.68]So you really never had a birthday party? 你真的 從來沒有 辦過生日派對? [02:16.60]No, but it was okay. 沒有 不過沒關(guān)系 [02:20.64]I mean, when I was little, 我是指 在我還小的時候 [02:21.56]I'd think maybe my parents would change their mind and surprise me with a party. 我曾想也許我父母會改變主意 然后給我一個驚喜派對 [02:24.68]Like this one birthday I came home from my cello lesson 比如有次生日 我剛學(xué)完大提琴回家 [02:27.12]and I saw a lot of strange cars parked out front. 我看到很多陌生車停在門外 [02:27.80]When I got to the door, I could hear people whispering 走到門口 還聽見人們在小聲說話 [02:29.28]and I could smell german chocolate cake, which is my favorite. 而且還聞到了德國巧克力蛋糕的味道 那是我最喜歡的蛋糕 [02:35.52]And? 然后呢? [02:37.56]It turns out my grandfather had died. 結(jié)果是我爺爺去世了 [02:38.64]Oh, my god. That's terrible. 噢 我的天哪 這太恐怖了 [02:41.72]Well, it was kind of like a birthday party. 但我覺得也算個生日派對了 [02:45.48]I got to see all my cousins, and there was cake, so... 我見到了所有的表兄弟 也有蛋糕 所以... [02:50.28]that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. 這是我聽過最可憐的事了 [02:50.20]You think? 你這么覺得? [02:53.92]Go ahead, tell her about your senior prom. 來吧 告訴她你的畢業(yè)舞會 [02:55.84] [03:15.24]The Big Bang Theory Season01 Episode16天才理論傳 第一季 第16集 [03:22.60]********Remember-- no peanuts. 一定要記得--不要放花生 [03:24.92]Howard, every thai restaurant in town knows you can't eat peanuts. Howard 城里每個泰國餐廳 都知道你不能吃花生 [03:28.48]When they see me coming, they go, "ah, no-peanut boy!" 他們一看到我去 就會說"啊 不要花生的男孩!" [03:43.96]Hello, penny. Leonard just left. 你好 Penny Leonard剛剛出門 [03:45.88]I know. I want to talk to you. 我知道 我想要跟你談?wù)? [03:47.36]What would we talk about? 我們談些什么? [03:49.72]We have no overlapping areas of interest I'm aware of. 我想 我們還沒發(fā)現(xiàn)興趣的交集 [03:52.00]As you know, I don't care for chitchat. 你知道的 我不喜歡閑談 [03:52.100]Can you just let me in? 能讓我進(jìn)去嗎? [03:54.04]Well, all right, but I don't see this as a promising endeavor. 好吧 但我不覺得這招管用 [03:60.56]Okay, here's the deal. 好吧 事情是這樣的 [04:01.40]We are going to throw leonard a kick-ass surprise party for his birthday on saturday. 我們周六給Leonard辦個 超驚喜的生日派對 [04:02.12]I hardly think so. 我很難同意 [04:04.28]Leonard made it very clear he doesn't want a party. Leonard說的很清楚 他不要派對 [04:06.92]Did someone say... "party"? 剛才有人說..."派對"? [04:10.64]He just doesn't know he wants one 'cause he's never had one. 他并不知道自己想要 因為他從沒有過生日派對 [04:14.56]I suppose that's possible, but for the record, 就算是的 但請注意 [04:15.72]I've never had a threesome and yet I still know I want one. 我從沒玩過3P 但我知道我想要 [04:20.40]Howard, here's the difference-- Howard 這兩者的區(qū)別是-- [04:22.04]the possibility exists that leonard could have a birthday party before hell freezes over. 在地獄結(jié)冰之前 Leonard過生日派對存在可能性 [04:28.08]Fine. If I do have a threesome, you can't be part of it. 好吧 如果我真的玩3P 你不能參加 [04:34.12]I'm just kidding. Yes, you can. 我開玩笑的 你當(dāng)然能參加了 [04:37.44]Can you bring a friend? 能再帶個朋友嗎? [04:40.08]I think a birthday party's a terrible idea. 我覺得生日派對是個糟糕的想法 [04:44.04]I envy leonard for growing up without that anguish. 我很羨慕Leonard 成長過程中沒有這種痛苦 [04:46.60]Anguish? 痛苦? [04:46.72]Year after year, I had to endure wearing comical hats 年復(fù)一年 我必須強(qiáng)忍戴上滑稽的帽子 [04:49.36]while being forced into the crowded, sweaty hell of bouncy castles. 被迫擠在人群中 弄得滿身大汗 [04:54.68]Not to mention being blindfolded and being spun toward a grotesque tailless donkey 更別提要被蒙上眼睛 轉(zhuǎn)著走向那頭碩大的無尾驢 [04:54.68]游戲: 給無尾驢安上尾巴 [04:58.48]as the other children mocked my disorientation. 走錯了方向 更要被其他孩子嘲笑 [05:03.04]Okay, sweetie, I understand you have scars that no nonprofessional can heal, 好吧 親愛的 我知道你心里的傷 一般人治不了 [05:06.56]but, nevertheless, we're going to throw leonard a birthday party. 但我們?nèi)耘f要給Leonard辦個生日派對 [05:09.96]Have I pointed out that I'm extremely uncomfortable with dancing, 我說過嗎? 我極度地不喜歡跳舞 [05:11.68]loud music and most other forms of alcohol-induced frivolity? 還包括吵鬧的音樂 以及大多數(shù)人在酒后的輕佻行為 [05:16.24]Nevertheless, we're... 雖然如此 我們... [05:16.52]- in addition, I really don't think that leonard wants... - okay, here's the deal: - 而且 我覺得Leonard才不會希望... - 好吧 這樣如何: [05:18.36]You either you help me throw leonard a birthday party or, so help me god, 你要么幫我給Leonard 辦一個生日派對 否則 [05:22.28]I will go in youour droom and unbag all of your most valuable, mint-condition comic books. 我會到你的臥室里把你最珍貴的 完好無損的漫畫書統(tǒng)統(tǒng)倒出 [05:25.20]And on one of them-- t u won'yoknow which-- I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink. 在其中任選你不知道的一頁-- 用墨水在上面畫個迷你笑臉 [05:32.88]You can't do that. If you make a mark in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint. 你不能那么干 你在完好無損的書上 做記號 那就不再是完好無損了 [05:37.56]Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail? Sheldon 你腦里有勒索這個概念嗎? [05:37.100]Well, of course, I... oh. 當(dāng)然 我...噢 [05:42.80]Yeah, I have an idea. 對 我有辦法了 [05:43.60]Let's throw leonard a kick-ass birthday party. 我們給Leonard辦個 超贊的生日派對 [06:05.88]that's not the secret knock. 暗號不對 [06:09.48]This is the secret knock. 看我的正確演示 [06:14.28]what difference does it make? 有什么不同的效果呢? [06:16.92]The whole point of a secret knock is to establish a non-verbal signal 暗號的精髓就在于 建立一種非言語的暗號 [06:20.84]to verify the identity of one's co-conspirators. 用于查證同謀們的身份 [06:21.76]Penny: Is that raj and howard? 是Raj和Howard? [06:22.84]Possibly, but unverified. 有可能 查證中 [06:27.00]Will you just let us in. 還打算讓我們進(jìn)去嗎 [06:27.12]Luckily for you, this is not a nuclear reactor. 你們很幸運 我們不是在搞核反應(yīng)堆 [06:31.76]So what'd you get the birthday boy? 你們給壽星準(zhǔn)備了什么呢? [06:32.20]Well, raj got him an awesome, limited edition dark knight sculpture Raj給他準(zhǔn)備的是限定版的 黑暗騎士人偶 非常之棒 [06:35.64]based on alex ross's definitive batman. 按照AlexRoss's詮釋的 終極蝙蝠俠 [06:37.64]And I got him this amazing autographed copy of the feynman lectures on physics. 我給他準(zhǔn)備的是費曼物理學(xué)講義 題署本 絕對讓人驚喜 [06:42.84]Nice. I got him a sweater. 不錯嘛 我準(zhǔn)備的是一件毛衣 [06:46.28]Okay, well, he might like that. I've seen him get chilly. 他可能會喜歡的 我見他有些怕冷 [06:49.96]Sheldon, I didn't see your present. Sheldon我還沒有看到你的禮物呢 [06:53.40]That's because I didn't bring one. 因為我根本沒準(zhǔn)備 [06:54.08]- Why not? - Don't ask. - 為什么? - 別問他 [06:56.48]The entire institution of gift-giving makes no sense. 整個俗世的禮尚往來完全沒有意義 [06:57.24]Too late. 又晚了一步 [06:59.40]Let's say I go out and I spend $50 on you. 如果說我出門然后為了花上50美元 [07:02.20]It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need, 這活動很費勁 因為我得想著 你需要什么呢 [07:06.76]whereas you know what you need. 實際上你自己最清楚你需要什么 [07:06.52]Now, I could simplify things-- just give you the $50 directly, 那么 我何不將事情簡單化-- 直接給你50美元不就行了 [07:10.64]and then you could give me $50 on my birthday, 今后我的生日 你也可以送我50美元嘛 [07:11.76]and so on, until one of us dies, leaving the other one old and $50 richer. 如此禮尚往來 直到有個人離開人世 丟下另外一個多50美元錢的老人 [07:20.04]And I ask you, is it worth it? 請問 這樣做有意義嗎? [07:23.68]Told you not to ask. 說了不要問的嘛 [07:25.96]Well, sheldon, you're his friend. Sheldon 你可是他的朋友呀 [07:27.40]Friends give each other presents. 朋友們就該是互贈禮物的呀 [07:29.84]I accept your premise; I reject your conclusion. 我同意你的提論 但不認(rèn)同你的結(jié)論 [07:31.100]Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention. 試試讓他明白這是 不依個人意志的社交慣例吧 [07:35.96]- What? - Just do it. - 什么? - 照做就是了 [07:40.68]it's a non-optional... social convention. 這是不依個人意志的... 社交慣例 [07:46.84]Fair enough. 說的有道理 [07:50.20]He came with a manual. 他嘛 有隨機(jī)附送的使用手冊 [07:53.32]Question-- how am I going to get leonard a present before the party? 提問--我怎樣才能在派對前 給Leonard準(zhǔn)備禮物呢? [07:55.100]I don't drive and the only things available within walking distaenc 我開不來車 那么步行范圍內(nèi) 唯一可行的 [07:58.16]are a thai restaurant and a gas station. 就是泰國菜餐館和加油站 [08:00.52]I suppose I could wrap up an order of mee krob and a coup e of ttery scratchers. 也許我可以帶一份米制面條 外加一張即刮彩券 [08:06.36]Okay let's do this-- I will drive sheldon to get a present. 我們這么安排-- 我載 Sheldon去買禮物 [08:09.76]And howard, you need to get rid of leonard for about two hours. Howard 你得拖住Leonard 大概兩個鐘頭時間 [08:12.04]No problem. 沒問題 [08:11.32]And then, raj, you bring the stuff across the hall and start setting up. 然后 Raj 你把這些東西 拿到走廊去 把它們裝飾好 [08:17.52]What if guests show up? 要是客人們來了呢? [08:19.08]Entertain them. 好好招待 [08:20.60]What if they're women? 如果是女客人呢? [08:23.44]Stare at them and make them feel uncomfortable. 死盯她們 弄得她們不自在 [08:40.72]- How's it goin'? - Fine. - 玩得如何? - 很好 [08:42.88]So listen, the nuart is showing the revised, definitive cut of blade runner. 我聽說 Nuart劇院正在上映 銀翼殺手最終剪輯版 [08:47.36]Seen it. 看過的 [08:47.60]No, you've seen the 25th anniversary final cut. 不 你看的那是25周年 紀(jì)念的最終剪輯版本 [08:53.84]This one has eight seconds of previously unseen footage. 這一次有長達(dá)八秒的未公映片段 [08:54.16]They say it completely changes the tone of the film. 他們說 這八秒完全改變了電影的基調(diào) [08:59.52]pass. 算了吧 [08:59.44]Come on. Afterwards, there's a q & a with harrison ford's body double. 不是吧 片尾還有 哈里森·福特替身的訪談問答 [09:06.72]Look, I'm in the halo bale of my life here. 你看 我正在到了光暈游戲的 要緊關(guān)頭 [09:08.32]There's this kid in copenhagen-- he has no immune system, 這個哥本哈根的孩子-- 沒有免疫功能 [09:09.12]so all he does is sit in his bubble and play halo 24-seven. 所以他只好整天坐在防菌隔膜里 玩光暈游戲 [09:13.08]Can't you play him some other time? 你就不能改天和他玩嗎? [09:17.24]Not if you believe his doctors. 除非你不相信他的醫(yī)生的話 [09:23.28]Oh, my god, do you smell gas? 天啦 你聞到煤氣味了嗎? [09:24.76]- No. - Yeah, no. - 沒 - 的確 沒有 [09:33.80]You know, they have dvds over there. DVD是在那邊的 [09:34.12]Yes, but they have rndvd buers over here. 對 但DVD刻錄機(jī)在這邊的 [09:38.20]Leonard needs a dvd burner. Leonard需要DVD刻錄機(jī)的 [09:41.28]Sheldon, a gift shouldn't be something someone needs, it should be something fun. Sheldon 禮物不是滿足別人 的需要的 而是充滿快樂的東西 [09:44.64]You know, something they wouldn't buy for themself. 是那些 他們不會買給自己的東西 [09:47.48]You mean like a sweater? 比如說 毛衣? [09:51.04]It's a fun sweater. 是件充滿樂趣的毛衣 [09:52.52]It's got a bold geometric print. 上面印有狂野的幾何圖形 [09:56.64]- Is it the geometry that makes it fun? - Okay... - 幾何圖形讓它具有了樂趣? - 好吧... [09:58.48]the point is one of the ways we show we care about people 最重要的是能讓人們 體會到我們的關(guān)心 [10:02.72]is by putting thought and imagination into the gifts we give them. 通過禮物傳達(dá)我們 對他們的美好想法 [10:05.72]Okay, I see. So, not a dvd burner. 好吧 我明白了 那就不買刻錄機(jī) [10:08.28]Exactly. 很正確 [10:11.96]Something he wouldn't buy for himself. Something fun. 他不會給自己買的 能給他帶來快樂的東西 [10:14.24]Something like... an 802-11n wireless router! 比如... 802-11的無線路由器! [10:21.24]Here you go, copenhagen boy. 該你了 哥本哈根小鬼 [10:22.80]How about a taste of hans christian hand grenade? 試試看德國產(chǎn)的手榴彈滋味如何? [10:26.100]Oh, that could not feel good. 那感覺一定很糟 [10:33.16]Come on, come... oh, you clever... 來呀 來呀...你這個機(jī)靈... [10:39.12]come on. Come on. Take that! 來 來吧 看我的! [10:52.28]- What's the matter? - This granola bar, it has peanuts in it! - 怎么了? - 這燕麥卷棒 上面有花生粒! [10:52.28]Oh, my god. Why did you eat it? 天啦 為什么你還要吃? [10:56.88]I don't know. It was just there! 我哪知道 它剛好就在那兒! [10:56.88]If I had a gun there, would you have shot yourself? 如果那兒是把槍 你會崩了自己嗎? [10:60.84]Don't yell at me! I've got to go to the emergency room! 別罵我! 我得去急診科! [11:03.44]Now? 現(xiàn)在去? [11:03.08]No, after my tongue has swollen to the size of a brisket! 等我的舌頭腫成雞胸脯那樣再去!? [11:07.16]All right, uh, just let me get my keys. 好吧 我去拿鑰匙 [11:12.16]Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god! 天呀 天呀 天呀... [11:14.04]The laundry is out of the hamper. 衣服已經(jīng)騰出盥洗籃 [11:21.92]Okay, sheldon, what was it supposed to be? 拜托 Sheldon 你說還能是什么意思? [11:24.12]Fine. It's out of the washer! 好吧 是洗衣機(jī)還不行嘛! [11:26.60]I'll call you when it's in the dryer. 等進(jìn)入烘干機(jī)我再給你打電話 [11:29.64]All right, let's go. 好了 咱們走 [11:44.28]what do you think? 你覺得呢? [11:43.96]Um, that one. 唔 買那個 [11:44.88]- Because of the two additional ethernet ports? - Sure. - 因為有兩個附加的以太網(wǎng)端口? - 沒錯 [11:49.40]He doesn't need them. He's already got a six-port ethernet switch. 他不需要 他已經(jīng)有個6端口轉(zhuǎn)換器了 [11:52.28]- Oh, okay, then this one. - Why? - 好 那就買這個吧 - 為什么? [11:54.28]I don't know. The man on the box looks so happy. 我不知道 包裝上這男的笑得很開心 [11:56.40]Penny, if I'm going to buy leonard a gift, I'm going to do it right. Penny 如果我要給Leonard買禮物 我就要買好它 [12:01.48]I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did. 我不想讓他遭受我童年的精神創(chuàng)傷 [12:04.16]I know I'm gonna regret this, but: What trauma? 我知道我會后悔問的 是什么精神創(chuàng)傷? [12:09.48]On my 12th birthday, I really wanted a titanium centrifuge so, 我12歲生日時 非常想得到一個鈦金屬離心機(jī) [12:11.56]you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes. 我就能分離放射性同位素了 [12:16.32]Of course. 當(dāng)然 [12:17.76]Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me... 我父母沒有給我買鈦金屬離心機(jī) 而是... [12:19.44]wow, this is hard. 唉 難以啟齒 [12:23.16]They got me a motorized dirt bike. 他們給我買了輛機(jī)動山地車 [12:27.68]No! 不是吧 [12:31.12]What 12-year-old boy wants a motorized dirt bike? 哪個12歲男孩想要機(jī)動山地車? [12:33.44]All of them? 每一個 [12:36.84]- Really? - Yeah. - 真的嗎? - 對呀 [12:41.80]Okay, so we're getting this one? 好啦 我們就買這個了? [12:43.72]- Yeah, I suppose. - All right, let's go. - 嗯 我想是的 - 很好 咱們走 [12:45.92]Exexse me. 打擾一下 [12:47.76]Do you know anything about this stuff? 你對這個東西有了解嗎? [12:48.96]I know everything about this stuff. 我對這個東西了如指掌 [12:51.72]Woman: Okay, I have my own wholesale flower business 好的 我開了一家鮮花批發(fā)店 [12:53.84]and I want to hook up my computer in the front entrance with the one in my refrigerated warehouse. 我想把前臺和冷凍倉庫的電腦 連接在一起 [12:58.12]Here, buy this one: Look, it's the one we're getting. See? Happy guy. 買這個 我們買的就是這個 看他笑得多開心 [12:60.48]No, no, no, she doesn't want that. 不不不 她不能買那個 [13:02.80]She needs a point-to-point peer network with a range extender. 她需要的是有區(qū)域擴(kuò)展功能的點對點網(wǎng)絡(luò) [13:06.44]Thank you. 謝謝 [13:06.68]Which hard drive do I want-- firewire or usb? 我要買哪個硬件 蘋果火線還是USB? [13:10.16]It depends on what buss you have available. 這取決于你用的什么總線(公交車)了 [13:15.76]I drive a chevy cavalier. 我開的是雪弗萊跑車 [13:19.72]Oh, dear lord. 上帝啊 [13:22.76]- Sheldon, we have to go. - Not now, penny. This poor man needs me. - Sheldon 我們得走了 - 現(xiàn)在不行 Penny 這個可憐人需要我 [13:24.92]You, hold on. I'll be right with you. 你等等 我一會兒就幫你 [13:28.16]What computer do you have? 你的電腦是什么樣的? [13:29.12]And please don't say "a white one." 別跟我說"是白色的" [13:36.48]Excuse me. 打擾一下 [13:37.96]Fill this out. Have a seat. 填表 坐著等 [13:40.04]No, listen. See, we're throwing my friend a surprise party 不 聽著 我們要給朋友 開一個驚喜派對 [13:40.68]and I'm supposed to keep him out of his apartment for two hours. 我得把他騙出公寓兩個小時 [13:43.24]Fill this out and have a seat. 填表 坐著等 [13:47.64]No, see, the only way I could gehit m to leave was to tell him I ate a peanut 不 你瞧 我騙他離開的唯一辦法 就是告訴他我吃了花生 [13:50.44]because I'm allergic to peanuts. 因為我對花生過敏 [13:50.16]Well, in that case, fill this out and have a seat. 好 這樣的話 填表 坐著等 [13:56.92]Look, all I need from you is to take me in the back and give me a band-aid 拜托 我需要你帶我到后面去 給我貼個創(chuàng)可貼 [13:57.68]so I can pretend I had a shot of epinephrine, 我可以假裝打了一針腎上腺素 [13:59.04]and then you tell my friend you need to keep me under observation for about an hour, hour and a half. 你可以告訴我朋友 我需要留下觀察 一小時 或一個半小時 [14:02.88]- Is that all you need? - Yes. - 你就想要這個? - 是的 [14:04.84]Get out of my er. 離我遠(yuǎn)點兒 [14:06.24]No, you don't understand. 不 你不明白 [14:07.60]Oh, I understand, but unfortunately, this hospital is not equipped to treat stupid. 我明白 算你倒霉 這醫(yī)院不給傻子治病 [14:14.24]Okay, I get it. I know how the world works. 好吧 我懂了 我知道這社會怎么回事兒 [14:15.84]How about if I were to introduce to you to the man who freed your people? 我給你一位解放了你們同胞的人怎么樣? (林肯解放了黑奴 5美元鈔票上有他的頭像) [14:25.08]Unless my people were freed by benjamin franklin and his five twin brothers, 除非我的同胞是富蘭克林(100美元鈔票上頭像) 和他的五個孿生兄弟解放的 [14:30.96]you are wasting your time. 你在浪費時間 [14:34.08]Hey, sorry, I couldn't find a parking spot. How are you doing? 對不起 我一直沒找到停車位 你怎么樣了? [14:36.24]Bad, very bad. 糟糕 非常糟糕 [14:37.08]Really? You don't look like you're swelling up at all. 真的嗎? 你看上去一點都不腫啊 [14:40.20]Maybe we should just pick up some benadryl at the drugstore and go home. 或許我們應(yīng)該去藥店 買些抗組織胺藥然后回家 [14:42.00]- We can't go home. - Why not? - 我們不能回家 - 為什么不能? [14:46.08]Because... 因為... [14:47.60]because... 因為... [14:50.64]brisket! Brisket! 雞胸脯! 雞胸脯! [14:53.16]Water! Need water! 水! 我要喝水! [14:55.96]I'll be right back. 我馬上回來 [14:59.48]penny, listen, I've got a problem. Penny 聽著 我有麻煩了 [15:02.96]Yeah, well, so do I. Look, you gotta stall leonard a little longer. 唔 我也是 你得多拖住Leonard一會兒 [15:04.96]I don't think I can. 我想我做不到 [15:06.40]You have to. We all have to be there at the same time to yell surprise. 必須做到 我們要同時到給他個驚喜 [15:08.60]Okay, you have to understand something. 你要了解情況 [15:09.24]We're in a hospital right now. 我們現(xiàn)在在醫(yī)院 [15:12.84]Why? Is leonard okay? 為什么? Leonard還好嗎? [15:14.88]Leonard's fine. I'm fine. Leonard很好 我很好 [15:16.32]Thanks for asking, by the way. 謝謝你關(guān)心 順便說一聲 [15:16.44]Okay, I don't need your attitude. 你別發(fā)脾氣 [15:18.04]Listen, just hold him there a little longer. 聽著 再多拖住他一會兒 [15:20.52]Look, I've done my best, but he wants to go home and I don't know how to stop him. 我已經(jīng)盡力了 他想回家 我不知如何阻止他 [15:23.76]Okay, how about this? 這個建議怎樣? [15:26.16]You keep himhere a little longer, and when you get to the party, 你多拖住他一會兒 等你到了派對上 [15:28.16]I'll point out which of my friends are easy? 我會告訴你 我朋友里哪個比較隨便 [15:40.16]Don't toy with me, woman. 別耍我啊 丫頭 [15:43.36]I got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem, 我認(rèn)識一個減肥成功 而且沒有自尊的辣妹 [15:45.36]I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around 和一個為了懲罰她爸爸 而和別人亂搞的女孩 [15:47.16]and alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat. 還有一個酒鬼妹 在兩杯龍舌蘭下肚后任你擺布 [15:54.16]Thy will be done. 我會搞定的 [16:05.80]I'm doing this for you, little buddy. 我可是為了你才做的 小伙計 [16:15.60]Okay, we don't have that in stock... 我們現(xiàn)在沒有存貨... [16:18.36]but I can special-order it for you. 不過可以為你專門預(yù)定 [16:21.52]Him. 就是他 [16:22.60]Excuse me, sir. You don't work here. 對不起先生 你不在這里工作 [16:27.52]Yes, well, apparently, neither does anyone else. 沒錯 顯然沒人在這里工作 [16:30.24]- Eldon, we have to go. - Why? - Sheldon 我們得走了 - 為什么? [16:32.48]Well, for one thing, we're late for leonard's birthday party, 第一 Leonard的派對我們要遲到了 [16:33.00]and for another, I told him to call security. 第二 我讓他去叫保安了 [16:39.48]Good luck. 祝你好運 [16:41.48]By the way, a six-year-old could hack your computer system. 順便說一下 6歲孩子都能黑了你的電腦 [16:43.40]Keep walking. 快走 [16:44.72]"1234" is not a secure password. 1234做密碼可不安全 [16:51.24]Excuse me-- my friend is having an allergic reaction to peanuts. 對不起 我朋友對花生過敏了 [16:53.84]- No, he's not. - Yes, he is. - 不 他沒有 - 他真的過敏了 [16:56.36]Look, sir, we are very busy here, and I... 先生 我們很忙 我... [16:58.04]holy crap! 我的媽呀! [17:02.40]Please help me! 請救救我! [17:04.12]Code four! I need a gurney! 急救! 這里需要擔(dān)架! [17:06.12]- Right away! Right away! - Thank you. - 在這里 在這里 - 謝謝你 [17:14.40]Say what you will about the healthcare system in this country, 雖然你對醫(yī)療體系充滿期待 [17:17.64]but when they're afraid of lawsuits, ********* 可他們怕吃官司 還是會做系統(tǒng)的檢查 [17:19.80]I really don't think the colonoscopy was necessary. 結(jié)腸鏡檢查真沒必要 [17:27.96]You know, before you got all swollen up, 要知道 在你腫起來之前 [17:27.88]I actually thought you were trying to keep me out of the apartment 我以為你要騙我出公寓 [17:31.80]so you could throw me a surprise party. 好為我開一個驚喜派對 [17:33.60]Oh, right, it's your birthday. 也是哦 今天是你生日 [17:35.28]I had no idea it was your birthday. I completely forgot. 我不知道是你生日 我完全忘記了 [17:38.04]Wow, what a lousy way to spend a birthday. Well, it's all over now. 這個生日過得太糟了 現(xiàn)在全都完了 [17:45.88]There is a party, isn't there? 確實有派對 是嗎? [17:47.40]Maybe. 可能吧 [17:48.48]Howard? Howard? [17:52.20]Are you mad? 你生氣了? [17:51.20]How could I be mad? 我怎么會生氣呢? [17:53.92]You actually risked your life because you care about me. 你可是冒了生命危險 因為你關(guān)心我 [17:58.28]Yeah, that's why I did it. 對 所以我才這么做的 [18:03.24]All right. Here we go. 好的 咱們瞧瞧 [18:09.76]My first birthday party. 我第一個生日派對 [18:12.48]* I see your true colors * * 我看到了你的本色 * [18:15.20]* and that's why I love you.* * 這就是為什么我愛你 * [18:21.68]Dude, everybody left an hour ago. 兄弟 大家一小時前就走了 [18:27.96]Surprise! 驚喜! [18:33.88]******* I am on your birthday party. 快看 Leonard 我在你的生日派對上 [18:38.04]I don't know where you are, dude, but it's really kick-ass! 我不知道你在哪兒 哥們兒 這個派對棒呆了! [18:42.44]Everyone is very, very drunk and... 每個人都喝得很醉很醉 而且... [18:47.68]oh, and look, there's a girl taking her shirt off! 快看 那個女孩把上衣脫了! [18:50.96]That's my friend carol. 她是我朋友Carol [18:52.64]Remind me-- I gotta introduce her to howard. 差點忘了 我要把她介紹給Howard [18:57.48]Oh, sweet krishna, shake that rupee maker! 親愛的克利須那神啊! 快搖起你那寶貝來! [19:01.84]I'm so sorry you didn't get your party. 對不起 你沒趕上自己的派對 [19:04.76]Oh, it's okay. 沒關(guān)系 [19:06.88]Well, happy birthday, anyways. 不管怎樣 還是祝你生日快樂 [19:18.28]Hey, penny, wh-wh-when's your birthday? Penny 你什么時候過生日? [19:22.96]

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