你當(dāng)過(guò)好友的“情感垃圾桶”嗎？

Emotional dumping is when you verbally offload the intense rage, fear or sadness you feel onto someone you think should care.

Emotional dumping指你把自己的憤怒、恐懼或者悲傷一股腦兒地說(shuō)給一個(gè)你認(rèn)為在乎你的人聽(tīng)，字面意思是“情感傾倒”。其實(shí)就是把不開(kāi)心的事拿出來(lái)跟好友傾訴。

也就是說(shuō)，你把這個(gè)朋友當(dāng)成了你的“情感垃圾桶”(emotional trashcan)，各種負(fù)面情緒都會(huì)傾倒給Ta。

For example, if you've been the target of workplace bullying, you might express your outrage onto HR or senior managers, expecting them to do something immediately but become even more upset when they react in an oppositional way.

比如，你在辦公室一直被欺凌，你去找人力或者上一級(jí)的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)發(fā)泄一通，希望他們能立即有所行動(dòng)，結(jié)果，他們完全不予理會(huì)。這讓你更加難過(guò)。

Or, if you just broke up with your boyfriend, and you felt heartbroken.

或者，你剛剛跟男友分手，你覺(jué)得自己心都碎了。

You might call your best friend, calling your HR and manager all the bad names, or talking about all the best memories you have had with your ex and how sad you were at the moment. All your friend needs to do is to listen.

這個(gè)時(shí)候，你可能會(huì)給你最好的朋友打電話，放肆地咒罵公司人力和經(jīng)理，或者跟好友傾訴你跟男友曾經(jīng)有多美好，而你此刻有多傷心。你的朋友只需要靜靜聽(tīng)著就可以了。

For example:

Jill called today and took the longest emotional dumping on me. He said he misses Jane and he wanted her back.

Jill今天給我打電話了，跟我傾訴了好長(zhǎng)時(shí)間。他說(shuō)他很想念Jane，他想跟她合好。

不過(guò)，心理學(xué)家表示，情感垃圾聽(tīng)多了會(huì)對(duì)自己的情緒狀態(tài)產(chǎn)生負(fù)面影響，別人跟你傾訴完以后，心情輕松，繼續(xù)開(kāi)心地生活了，而作為聽(tīng)眾的你，可能因?yàn)槁?tīng)得太專注而導(dǎo)致情緒低落。