他穿著隨意,破案時通常一襲黑衣,深藍圍巾,頭戴禮帽;他頭腦反應迅速,洞察每一個細節(jié),擅長推理、小提琴和格斗術;他性格堅強、自信、孤傲、厭惡權勢,跟現(xiàn)實格格不入......這樣一個才華橫溢的偵探,如果送給你作男友怎么樣?但是,這個除了破案,對其他任何事物都不感興趣的神探夏洛克,真的不是擇偶的首選。
Now let me show you why!
1. You’d spend ages making a cosy little love nest only to find blood on the carpet and bullet holes in the wall.
你花了半天時間整理好舒適的愛巢,迎接你的卻是地毯上的血跡和墻上的槍痕。
2. If you put on weight he’d noticed straight away.
如果你變胖了,他一眼就能看出來。
3. He’d always hog the bed clothes.
他永遠獨占床褥。
4. Forget romantic lunch dates – you’d get a packet of Quavers and be grateful.
別癡心妄想什么浪漫午餐約會了——你得到的只能是一包速食餅干,還要對此心懷感激。
5. Forget trying to surprise him with a birthday present, he wouldn’t need to unwrap it to know what it is
不要嘗試給他什么驚喜的生日禮物,因為他不拆包裝就知道里面裝著什么。
6. Forget sexting, everything you said would be “Wrong!”
別想著短信調情,你說的一切都是“錯的”!
7. Forget trying to impress him with sexy clothes and make-up.
別想著用性感的衣服和妝容取悅他。
8. You’d be waiting for those three little words… but they might not be the ones you were hoping for.
你可能很期待那浪漫的三個字... 不過你聽到的那個詞可能和你心里想的不太一樣。
9. However hard you tried, Sherlock would only have eyes for one person.
最重要的是,不論你怎樣努力,夏洛克的眼里都永遠只有那一個人。