建立人脈膽子小：四個(gè)妙招讓你更討巧

You're standing face-to-face with a professional in your industry who can help you advance your career. This is your chance to wow this person with a strong handshake, bright smile and direct eye contact, followed by a witty comment that initiates a loud fit of laughter.

現(xiàn)在，你和一個(gè)行業(yè)專家正面對(duì)面站著，并且這個(gè)專家對(duì)促進(jìn)你的職業(yè)生涯有很大的幫助。這是一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)，你可以先通過一次有力的握手，燦爛的微笑以及直接的對(duì)視來博得他對(duì)你的稱贊，接著再以詼諧的話語引發(fā)彼此的開懷大笑。

However, you can't communicate well or make a good first impression when your mouth is dry, your palms are sweaty, your thoughts are scattered and you're blanking on that pitch you prepared.

但是，當(dāng)你嘴唇發(fā)干，手心冒汗，思維分散，而且突然記不起之前準(zhǔn)備的東西時(shí)，你就不可能表達(dá)得很好或者說給別人留下一個(gè)很好的第一印象。

Here's the good news: These nervous feelings and anxious thoughts are completely normal (and, in fact, very common), and there are ways to overcome them. Before you know it, you'll be shaking hands and expanding your network with ease and confidence.

這里有一個(gè)好消息：這些緊張的感覺和焦慮的情緒都是正常的(事實(shí)上，也很常見)，并且有許多方法可以克服它們。在你知道這點(diǎn)之前，你要一直握手，然后輕松自信地?cái)U(kuò)大你的人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)。

Here are some networking tips to put to use when you feel intimidated.

當(dāng)你膽怯的時(shí)候可以使用下列方法來建立你的人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)。

1. Forget about the business side

1. 忘記業(yè)務(wù)方面的事情

Remember that engaging in a professional relationship is not an immoral practice founded on dishonesty. Job seekers should focus on maintaining a casual mentality and they should approach networking with a genuine curiosity instead of a fear of failure (or the more complicated fear of success).

記住，構(gòu)建職業(yè)上的人情關(guān)系，并不是一種建立在欺騙基礎(chǔ)上的不道德行為。求職者們應(yīng)該注意保持漫不經(jīng)心的心態(tài)，他們應(yīng)該出于真正的好奇心來接觸同行，而不是因?yàn)楹ε率?或者是因渴望成功而產(chǎn)生的說不清道不明的恐懼感)。

In order to develop a relaxed mindset, job seekers should remind themselves that they are building a social network that is founded on mutual respect, genuine interest and a clear understanding of reciprocity.

為了培養(yǎng)放松的思維模式，求職者們應(yīng)該提醒自己他們所在建立的社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)是基于共同的尊重，真實(shí)的興趣和互惠原則。

In other words, you aren't just hunting for favors and begging for advice and advancement opportunities. Besides, the people you meet and get to know while networking are just that — people. They have families, obligations, fears and strengths — and they spill mustard on their shirts just like you.

換句話說，你不能只是為了尋求幫助，懇求建議和發(fā)展機(jī)會(huì)。另外，當(dāng)你建立人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)時(shí)你所見和所要結(jié)識(shí)的也是人。他們有家人，有責(zé)任，有憂懼和長處，也會(huì)像你一樣把芥末醬灑在他們的襯衫上。

Once you remind yourself of the dynamics of a professional relationship, you can initiate conversations with confidence. Use a warm smile that says, "I'm approachable, and I'm excited to meet you."

一旦你自己想起了職業(yè)關(guān)系上的互動(dòng)方式，你就可以發(fā)起一次自信的談話。一個(gè)溫暖的笑容可以說明，“我很友善，并且很高興認(rèn)識(shí)你。”

2. Nail down your pitch

2. 確定好你的選講內(nèi)容

According to a recent survey conducted by the University of Phoenix School of Business, 15% of working adults surveyed say they don't have enough experience to make networking worthwhile. Don't fall victim to missing out on a great opportunity just because your resume isn't robust. This is where preparation comes in.

根據(jù)菲尼克斯大學(xué)商學(xué)院(微博)最近的一項(xiàng)調(diào)查，百分之十五被調(diào)查的成年工作者表示，他們不知道如何讓人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)變得有價(jià)值。千萬別只是因?yàn)楹啔v不夠好而成為了錯(cuò)失絕好機(jī)會(huì)的受害者。從這里參與準(zhǔn)備吧。

Preparing a pitch can be tricky because it can sound like a sales tactic. Avoid clichés and slogans so the listener knows that you're sincerely presenting actionable solutions and not blowing smoke just to get a new job. Ultimately, a pitch should be a clear expression of your purpose and intentions. Here's how to prep the perfect pitch:

準(zhǔn)備個(gè)講稿可能是件棘手的事情，因?yàn)樗犉饋硐袷且粋€(gè)銷售策略。不要老生常談和喊口號(hào)，以便聽眾能知道你在真誠地提出可行的解決方案，而不只是為了得到一份新工作在那里大肆吹噓。最終，一次宣講應(yīng)能清楚地表達(dá)你的目的和意圖。下面將告訴你該如何準(zhǔn)備一次完美的宣講：

Self-reflection: The first step is to really think about your goals. What is your purpose for speaking with this person? While the end goal is to advance your career in some way, your real focus is keeping the listener intrigued. You want him or her to be hooked and listen to your entire story.

反?。旱谝徊骄褪且煤每紤]你的目標(biāo)。你和這個(gè)人說話的目的是什么?當(dāng)你最終的目標(biāo)是想在某種程度上促進(jìn)你的職業(yè)發(fā)展時(shí)，你真正的重點(diǎn)是要保持聽眾的興趣。你想要吸引他們，并且希望他們能夠聽完你的整個(gè)故事。

Tell your story: Write a clear introduction that describes who you are, what you do and how you plan on helping the listener. Identify the problem that he or she has and show how your solution is the best one. This is where storytelling abilities come into play. Introduce a challenge, describe how you solved it and explain what you learned.

講故事：寫一份清晰的自我介紹，內(nèi)容包括描述你是誰，你做什么的以及你計(jì)劃怎么幫助你的聽眾。在確定好他們有這個(gè)問題后，接著你要展示出你的解決方案是最棒的一個(gè)。此處講故事的能力就發(fā)揮了作用。你還要介紹下遇到的挑戰(zhàn)，描述出你是如何解決這個(gè)問題以及從中學(xué)到了什么。

Integrate a call to action: Finally, leave the listener with something actionable. This is where you schedule a follow up, such as grabbing a cup of coffee or going out to lunch.

決定與行為相結(jié)合：最后你留給聽眾的應(yīng)該是可執(zhí)行的方案，此處你要安排一個(gè)后續(xù)行動(dòng)，例如趕緊為他們弄杯咖啡或是帶他們出去吃飯。

Practice makes perfect: Once you have this pitch written, read through it and practice several times. This is a great method for learning what you need to cover, but don't try to memorize and recite it word for word — your delivery shouldn't feel contrived. You want to hit your strong talking points and deliver your pitch from a place of sincerity and confidence.

熟能生巧:一旦你寫好了講稿，要通讀你的講稿并進(jìn)行多次的練習(xí)。這是了解你還需要包含哪些內(nèi)容的最好的辦法。但是不要試圖逐字逐句地記憶和背誦——你的演說方式不應(yīng)該讓人感到不自然。你應(yīng)該準(zhǔn)確表現(xiàn)出你強(qiáng)有力的論據(jù)，并且以一種真誠自信的方式發(fā)表演講。

3. Relax and stand tall

3. 放輕松，自信點(diǎn)

All of these networking tips are only effective if you feel relaxed. People project their emotional states more than they realize through nonverbal cues. For example, crossed arms communicate resistance and a sense of defensiveness, whereas open arms make you appear more approachable.

所有這些建立人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)的技巧只有當(dāng)你感到放松的時(shí)候才會(huì)有效。通過非語言的暗示，人們所表現(xiàn)出的情緒狀態(tài)比他們意識(shí)到的要多。例如，雙臂交叉表示抵抗和防衛(wèi)意識(shí)。反之，雙臂張開會(huì)讓你顯得更加友善。

Body language is more than just a representation of our emotional state. It can even affect our mentality. A September 2014 study conducted by researchers at the University of Auckland and published in Health Psychology found that standing up straight reduces stress. Upright participants said that they felt less fear, higher self-esteem and an overall better mood. Be mindful of your posture and how your body language is being presented when you're approaching people to network with. They're reading you before you have a chance to speak.

肢體語言不僅僅是我們情緒狀態(tài)的體現(xiàn)。它甚至能影響我們的心態(tài)。2014年9月奧克蘭大學(xué)曾在健康心理學(xué)上發(fā)表過一份研究，這份研究顯示筆直站立能夠減少壓力。那些筆直站立了的參與者們說他們會(huì)感到不那么害怕，有更高的自尊并且整體上有一個(gè)更好的心情。當(dāng)你接近并和他們打交道的時(shí)候，請(qǐng)注意你的儀態(tài)以及你所展現(xiàn)的肢體語言。他們會(huì)在你和他們交談之前先猜測你。

There are several other simple techniques that can help reduce stress and put you in a relaxed mindset. Certain stretches can provide stress relief, such as ear-to-shoulder stretches, spine rotations and toe touching. A study published by Oxford University Press in June 2014 found that regularly practicing yoga and other physical activity provided evidence of stress relief.

其他一些簡單的技巧也可以幫助你減壓，讓你有個(gè)放松的思維模式。一些伸展動(dòng)作可以讓你的壓力得到緩解，比如從耳朵到肩部的伸展，脊椎轉(zhuǎn)體和腳尖碰觸。牛津大學(xué)出版社在2014年6月發(fā)表的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，定期做瑜伽練習(xí)和其他的物理運(yùn)動(dòng)證明了其能夠緩解壓力。

Also, practicing mindfulness through exercises like meditation, yoga and tai chi can increase self-awareness and build skills to manage stress. These exercises can also reduce negative emotions. The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine published a study in May 2014 providing evidence suggesting that consistent meditation practice improves a person's quality of life and general mental health. While incorporating practices like meditation into your daily routine would be the best practice, you should at least perform them leading up to a networking event or professional interaction.

同樣，你可以通過諸如冥想，練瑜伽和打太極拳的方法來練習(xí)定力，這可以增強(qiáng)自我意識(shí)，培養(yǎng)應(yīng)對(duì)壓力的技能。這些鍛煉也可以減少你的消極情緒。在2014年5月交替與補(bǔ)償醫(yī)學(xué)雜志發(fā)表了一項(xiàng)研究，該研究提供的證據(jù)顯示堅(jiān)持做冥想練習(xí)可以改善一個(gè)人的生活質(zhì)量和一般的心理健康。并入一些像冥想的練習(xí)到你的日常生活中將是最好的做法。在要和別人打交道或進(jìn)行工作上的互動(dòng)時(shí)你至少要做些這樣的練習(xí)。

Positive affirmations are a great way of shifting a negative mentality to a positive one. You can write your own by choosing a negative thought about yourself and writing the positive opposite that counteracts that belief. For example, if you're thinking, "I don't deserve this opportunity," you can write an affirmation like, "I deserve this, and I am excited to succeed." Affirmations like these are realistic and achievable perspectives that you can develop through repetition.

正面的肯定是一種轉(zhuǎn)變消極心態(tài)到積極心態(tài)的最好辦法。你可以寫下關(guān)于你自己的消極想法，再寫下積極的想法來抵消那種觀點(diǎn)。例如，如果你認(rèn)為“我不應(yīng)該得到這個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)”，你可以寫一個(gè)肯定的話“這是我應(yīng)得的，我很高興能夠成功”。類似這些的肯定是符合實(shí)際且可實(shí)現(xiàn)的想法，你可以通過重復(fù)來培養(yǎng)這種正確認(rèn)知。

4. Schedule the follow-up

4. 安排后續(xù)行動(dòng)

Now that you're relaxed and armed with an awesome pitch and confident mindset, you are able to apply these networking tips. You have a great opportunity to seize or squander — don't do the latter. Make sure that once you shake hands, introduce yourself and nail that pitch, you schedule a follow-up.

由于你很放松，也已備有極好的講稿和自信的思維模式，那么你就能運(yùn)用這些建立人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)的方法。你有一個(gè)好機(jī)會(huì)可以抓住或者揮霍——千萬不要做后者。確保在你握完手，介紹完自己并且確定好了講稿后，你要安排個(gè)后續(xù)行動(dòng)。

It's important to be clear about your intentions for a coffee or lunch meeting. For example, explain how you hope to discuss how you can be an asset to your contact's company in a more detailed way. Also, use this first follow-up to further your rapport.

你要清楚你安排喝咖啡或者吃午餐的目的是什么，這點(diǎn)很重要。例如，說明你希望如何來討論，如何以一個(gè)更詳細(xì)的方法成為你熟人公司的財(cái)富。同樣，你要利用這個(gè)后續(xù)行動(dòng)讓你們之間更融洽。

After the pitch and before the follow-up, send a quick email expressing your appreciation for their time. Finally, connect online through LinkedIn, and maintain an ongoing relationship with this contact and their network: Share information, join industry-related organizations, comment on relevant posts, and even contribute content to message boards.

在宣講之后，后續(xù)行動(dòng)之前，快速發(fā)個(gè)郵件，對(duì)他們此次的到來表達(dá)下你的感激之情。最后，通過LinkedIn(領(lǐng)英)進(jìn)行在線聯(lián)系，和這個(gè)熟人以及他們的人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)保持一個(gè)不斷發(fā)展的關(guān)系:分享信息，加入與行業(yè)相關(guān)的組織，對(duì)相關(guān)帖子發(fā)表評(píng)論，甚至可以撰寫一些內(nèi)容到留言板。

These networking tips and relaxation techniques are realistic and effective methods for success.

這些建立人際關(guān)系網(wǎng)的技巧和放松竅門對(duì)于成功是實(shí)際有效的方法。